Just wondering if early crossdressing had an influence on your sexual preferences later in life? Why or why not? This question is open to everyone.
Crossdressing and being gay
Just wondering if early crossdressing had an influence on your sexual preferences later in life? Why or why not? This question is open to everyone.
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It must have. I was so attracted to girls and their beauty, sensuality and sexiness, that I wanted to dress, act and look like them. So that attraction and crossdressing kept me from being gay.
Seriously, I don't think being gay or straight has anything to do with crossdressng. Gender and sexuality are not one in the same.
From a younger perspective, I feel like life pulls us in the direction we're meant to go in. I know too many gay people that are, in some sense, opposed to CDing. It's the attraction that CDers have for women that usually indicate how hetero they really are. Everyone is different though. I am starting to understand more and more that being gay or bi is something that may be hardwired from birth. As far back as I can remember, I never liked guys like that. At all. I was, however, much more attracted to the way men think than women (maybe cause I am one??) I just get along better with my own kind in that regard. As I grew older I began attaching feelings to that attraction. When CDing began for me, I automatically associated it with men and women. I was attracted to both. I stand alone from most CDers in this regard and I am understanding more and more why as each day passes. I didn't ask for it..like I said in my first sentence, life pulled me into a direction at a certain point in my life...somewhere in between the high desert mountains and a beautiful colorful sunset over the ocean. All I needed to know was there. I just needed to accept it. hope this helps to understand the diversity behind CDing. xoxoxo
I'm attracted to women an guys who look like women. I don't know if you'd call that bi. I've been told it's bi cause I can be still attracted to a guy but I've alos been told I'm straight for only being attracted to the "Female look". I stopped caring an just accepted what I like an don't like. But I realised that before I had urges to dress feminine so I don't feel like there is a conection.
For me I battled with the question "if I like to dress like a woman why is it I don't like men?" For years.... And I finally realized that sexual preference and crossdressing are two independent things.... Imho.... I crossdress. Our son is gay and he doesn't.
for me it did not make me gay I still only like women (not men) but if dressed does that make me a lesbian just asking. I'm just a straight guy who likes wearing womans clothes.
Last edited by Krista Doll; 06-08-2012 at 10:15 AM.
I agree with Brandy. I have always been obsessed with women's clothing because I think the female body is so beautiful.
"Never explain- Your friends don't need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway"
"It's Never too late to have a Happy Childhood!"
"I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
No, there is no direction connection based on current information. Sexual orientation, gender expression and gender identity are independent. You are not made gay, lesbian, straight or whatever orientation by actions or events, or the lack of them, in your life. It is the way you are wired. However, how you view or act upon the way you feel may be influenced by your environment and upbringing.
On an individual level, there is not a way to accurately answer the question since a control is absence. To know the answer, you would have to go back in time, not dress in early childhood and see what happened later in life, and all other potential causative variables would have to be eliminated. By sampling a large enough population, correlations may be found, but proving cause and effect in a multi-variable scenario is very difficult especially on an individual level.
I am under the impression that me wanting to feel pretty sometimes does not make me gay. I just like to look cute and attractive once in a while.
I had a cousin who crossdereesd before we all knew what it was. He was sure he was "supposed to be a girl" and therefore he was attracted to men. He had another relative (not related to me) who was gay and he liked men, but didn't crossdress. I personally am not gay but I do love lingerie!
I'm not sure what causes me to dress, and I don't know what makes one person gay and another straight. But when I was a young man, I was asked if I was gay because of my dressing, and I didn't have a ready answer, But after thinking about it for a while, I realized I couldn't be gay, I can't stand my hairy body, I wouldn't want someone else's up against me. I prefer the soft smoothness of a woman, for my mate and myself.
I've never had a desire to have a thing with a man, I've never tried it, so I guess I'm not gay, and my cross dressing doesn't seem to have a thing to do with being gay.
Now if I weren't a cross dresser, and liked things hairy who knows, I might have been gay.
Tina B.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
The idea of crossdressing making you gay is like the idea that wearing a Little Mermaid T-shirt making you a better swimmer.
Damn....I was hoping it might help.Originally Posted by Violetgray
But seriously, the point has been repeatedly made in this thread and elsewhere that Gender Identification and Sexual Preference are two different things. You can be a straight, gay or bi without being a CDr and similarly you can be a CDr and be straight, gay or bi. You may also be either right or left handed.
I happen to be a right handed, TG and bisexual in a monogamous heterosexual long term relationship. Curiously, my bisexual experiences have never occurred while I've been dressed en femme...and were definately more of the m/m variety. My observation is that the same sensations that appeal to men and women in heterosexual relations pretty much work the same in homosexual relations. So I'd differ with Gore Vidal...there are no homosexual "acts", there are homosexuals, bisexuals and heterosexuals.
Last edited by kimdl93; 06-14-2012 at 01:33 PM.
This is preposterous. Everyone knows that left-handed people are possessed by the Devil.
But, yeah, seriously...I'm always surprised at how often this type of thread comes up. I think it has to do with the effeminate, gay stereotype. I may have said this before...if so, I'm sorry...but, I run into a lot of gay guys at the gym. I know a couple gay guys that are kind of girlie...but, I mean, they don't dress like girls...they just come off kind of girlie. However, there are tons of gay dudes getting really buff at the gym. It probably has something to do with that whole "being attracted to the male image" thing, so they want to be as buff and masculine as possible. You know...like a dude that would be attractive to a guy that also likes guys.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
My sexuality, which is Bisexual. has nothing to do with my dressing. I dress for my self, no one else. does dressing enhance my sex life, yes. but that's because dressing enhances just about everything in my life. dressing does not make me want to hook up with a male anymore than i do when i'm not dressed. i like to think that they compliment each other though, as part of my life at least.
I like to wear womens clothes; I like women and women only. I do not want to be with a man.
I guess I just like women to the point that I want to feel what a women feels by wearing their clothes.
I hope that made sense.
Rader
Gay! I can't tell you how happy I am when cross dressed.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I believe beauty is a gift and belongs to both men and women. When I look at a beautiful woman or a beautiful man I don't want either for sexual pleasure.
That is reserved for my wife. What I want is thier beauty for myself. I afraid this makes me selfish in a way. When em femme I admire the beauty I posess and want to share it with to the world. I think because of what society thinks of crosssdressers as "well they dress like women therefore they'll want men" we're labeled as being gay when most of us are not. We just admire beauty and want it for ourselves.
Thera
Not necessarily but I think perhaps it did help in my acceptance of diversity.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
No correlation at all! I believe some young men may be 'forced' into a gay lifestyle because they are into self loathing about cross dressing. For them it may seem to explain their desire to cross dress, act like a girl and hook up with men. Right now there is a greater acceptance for gay men and lesbians than cross dressers. I really do not like looking at human slobs, male or female.
I know that I love women's clothing, the feel, the colors. I also know I love looking at a nicely dressed woman who has taken care of her physical attributes. I also look approvingly of men who dress nicely for the occasion and take care of their physical attributes. Maybe, it has to do the physical form of both men and women. Take care of the body.
But, how do I love sexy looking and sexy feeling lingerie and slips! Just a side thought! In the animal kingdom it is usually the male that is brightly adorned to attract a mate. Maybe, humans just have it all wrong, except for cross dressers!
It may be more accurate to think of certain types of sexual preference as another type of gender variation rather than having nothing to do with gender per se.
There's nothing deterministic that would drive a gender variant person to any given type of sexual preference variation, but I'm not sure that there isn't a correlation. If you believe some people's numbers, homosexuality and bisexuality is higher in the gender variant population than it is in the general population.
Lea
Hello Briana,
When I was a young boy I would worry about this, that I am gay because I like to wear panties. Plus I come from a conservative traditional back round, narrow minded parents and brothers whom I now ignore and never take seriously because it is obvious they do not know a thing.
CD'ing shades sexuality. So when you dress up you are traveling from one shore across the open waters, so I can see how this voyage can confuse some body.
But if you take the trip allot you discover what you like. Sexual preferences are not something that can be forced out of a person. It is the most natural thing, our sexuality.
I feel, along with others here, that our sexuality is hard wired into us. So CD'ing will not turn you gay, it will get you thinking abut sexual preferences, which you will sort out eventually.
I am a gay Cd'er, which seem to be in the minority on this forum.
I am not really gay, if I were to transition then I would be straight.
♥
Noemi
polythene pam
im bi but married to an amazing woman. Dressing didn't influence my sexual preferance. I am who I am and I'm happy. I love dressing fem and had had encounters with a gay man years ago while dressed. He loved it when I dressed up. I also had a ggf many years ago that loved it when I dressed up during sex. Toys and all were shared. It was great. These days, I dont have sex with my wife while dressed however. The clothes get in the way...
I don't know if any of you are Dr. Who fans, but one of the things that happens In The Future is that sexual preference isn't something that you decide once and stick with. (Oh my goodness, if that were true of how I could present myself! I could be a woman when I wanted and a man when I chose!)
Anyway, the idea is that, you would just be with whom you wanted to be, and we wouldn't be as stuck on these definitions and labels as we are now. I think that's how I feel. I am married to a beautiful woman. I love her deeply, and I would never want to do anything to damage her love of me. But if I had not married her, would instead have been drawn to a man in the same way? I'm not convinced that sexual desire is as cut-and-dried as we would like it to be.
I've never met a man that drew me in the way my wife does, but to say that would never happen? I've been burned too many times to use the word, "never."
(That was terrible grammar...)
Anyway... I think I agree with some of the other comments about accepting my nature to dress en femme and accepting homosexuality. I grew up very judgmental. There are several judgments that I have made that I wish I could take back, but c'est la vie! I have lived, and I have learned...
I become more attracted to women the more I crossdress
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