[SIZE="2"]You’ll never see THIS on TV! This is mainly for purposes of entertainment, or for those who have already made up their minds about us. I’m here to educate (and entertain)...
1) The majority of us are NOT gay. I am continually amazed, bewildered, befuddled, and stupefied by how MtF crossdressers are “seen” by outsiders. If he’s wearing women’s clothing, or perhaps a hint of forbidden color, or placing his hands on his hips just-so, he MUST be gay, no doubt about it, case closed. There can be no alternative explanation for this ripple in the placid waters of gender correctness, so we, the accused, are “judged” to be gay, which is another way of saying “wrong” these days. There are plenty of heterosexual MtF crossdressers, who, simply because of outside pressure, are forced to question their sexuality as they stride forth along a lonely path of their own making. I don’t know what the percentage is, but many of us are very, VERY straight. However, I gave up (surrendered) a long time ago; in fact crossdressing has effectively destroyed my heterosexuality. This is just one of the BENEFITS of dressing against your birth gender, something you staunchly homophobic types can look forward to...
2) You can wear a dress and still be masculine. I do it, HE does it, and in fact most of us “do it.” I’ve met many MtF crossdressers who are just men in women’s clothing, which supports my so-called theory that wearing women’s clothing is a purely sexual exercise for many. Of course, you need to have your own definition of what being “masculine” entails, but I’m constantly surprised that most males do not “absorb” anything from their feminine trappings. I cannot dress up without losing my masculinity, but others transform into something very close to the original. Strange but true, in a literal sense, yet reassuring for all those SO’s who are so concerned about losing their “man.” HE isn’t really “going” anywhere; rather he is making visible that which has been hidden from view, for obvious reasons. Can dresses ever be seen as masculine? Oh, never mind...
3) Many of us have no desire to “be” women. Take me, for example. I can’t recall a time when I ever wanted to BE a woman, but, gosh, aren’t these swell clothes comfy?! It’s impossible. We have a neutered male cat that still does “male” things, and my sister explains it thusly: “He was a male too long!” It’s the same with me, I’m afraid, so I couldn’t handle a woman’s thankless “gig,” if I may be so bold. In my way of thinking, I have violated any idea of becoming a female by simply remaining male – I may take on feminine gestures, affect a female voice, and straighten up my posture, but I am still male in all but appearance. I’m sure that If I WAS a female, I would immediately look over the fence and see what mischief I could get into, albeit in a reversed role. I “cross-” rather than “trans-,” so I will always be as I am, no more, no less. Despite this, I like the “tranny” moniker very much...
4) There is no handbook. We make it all up as we go along, by trial and error. Yeah, I’m a self-taught tranny, and proud (well, happy) about it. One deviant thing leads to another, and I am now like the High Priestess of Perversion. I never thought it would get this far, but, much like Alice, I just have to know what’s behind that next door! When I started, I never thought I would “graduate” to full-fledged transvestite, complete with wig, makeup, and adornments of all sorts, but I did, causing ME to undergo a transformation that was neither shocking nor unwelcome. I hadn’t seen the real me before, and there she was, reflecting back at me in the mirror. I smiled, and I kept going, in fact I’m still pushing forward, seeing just how much I can get away with. This is FUN...
5) Its not all about sex. Strangely enough, it is possible for a man to dress as a woman and not get the least bit aroused, but I employ memory and magic to detach myself from an innate over-sexed nature. The clothes help to dispel my sexual energy, and I can enter a calm space by way of vulnerability. I do not dress to attract anyone, unless it is my “self,” using the opportunity to enjoy a quiet evening together. Oh, dressing in clothes that aren’t made for your specific gender (or body) is very exciting, but some of us are so wrapped up in fetishistic tactile worship that sex literally can’t find the handle! I cannot insult the things I adore, you know, so I behave myself – that, alone, is worthy of dressing up for, in fact a detachment from all male urges is very comforting, to say the least...
6) Tucking is both physical AND mental. When HE gets tucked away physically, SHE magically appears, standing on top of the high ground, overlooking the valley. Now is the time to put things right, as quietly and gently as possible, while HE is away, hopefully for a fortnight. If I mentally tuck him away, I cannot observe typical male behavior without offering a comment or two, hurled from my lofty perch, high above the madding (male) crowd. Once tucked, effectively neutered in a willful display of self-control, I can no longer move mountains, but I can certainly paint a pretty picture of one! No more useless struggle, and no more meaningless “contests.” I am she and she is me and we are all together. So what if “he” suffocates? He deserved it...
7) Most MtF crossdressers detest effeminacy. They hate being thought of as sissies or fairies (or even queers), taking steps to distance themselves from any and all labeling that society has unfairly provided. Is this because certain males are afraid of what they might become, or are they insecure by design? I like being effeminate, in fact my inherent effeminacy made crossdressing a foregone conclusion. I consider being called a “sissy” to be a compliment, since it means I have succeeded in my quest to be different in a glaringly obvious way. I would tap the nearest male with my magic fairy wand, but I’m sure he would snap it over his knee and then beat the crap out of me with it. I have met the enemy, and HE is typically male – how about a kiss, darling? Sissies are better lovers, BTW...
8) The “community” is largely imaginary. For US, I mean, since we are the “weak sisters” of TG. To many, we are nothing more than a gaggle of pathetic panty fetishists. Sad. Referencing my earlier comments about homosexuality, “we” are trundled together with G, L, and B for reasons of expediency or laziness, depending on how you look at it. I dislike all groups and their attendant group thinking, simply because I am a solitary sandpiper, zipping to and fro in an effort to survive and enjoy my existence while I can. I get no sense of “community” here, but it is not the fault of GLBT – I am a true outsider, a fact that is reinforced daily on this site, and out in the real world as well. Being a bisexual semi-closeted MtF crossdresser with a high degree of effeminacy makes me part of a minority within a minority within a minority. As such, I won’t be appearing in any parades, but you can still write to me (if you can find me)...
9) Society is KEEPING us in the closet. Because we are dangerous. Well, how else would you explain it? We’re forced to dress BCD. If little Johnny catches a glimpse of neighbor Freddy, and suddenly realizes he can tap into his dormant effeminacy and wear girl’s clothes, doesn’t this threaten the house of cards that society is based upon, at least in gender terms? The reality is that little Johnny can still be masculine and heterosexual, have a family and do all those things that “normal” boys do, but, at the same time, stay in close touch with feelings others will never understand. He is no threat to society, but he must remain in the closet for the “good” of society. I honestly think that MtF crossdressers represent the last vestige of unchained sensibilities, and this, rather than sexuality, is what worries the purveyors of “decency.” Someone out there is having unsolicited “fun,” and THAT just won’t do!
10) After a while, you get used to it. The intolerance, I mean. It’s unfair, but I’m a lover, not a fighter, in fact I am submissive to a fault. Other Mtf crossdressers may enjoy the complications that wearing the wrong clothing will inevitably produce, but I stay within my “self,” protecting HER at all times. This means I cannot have a “normal” life, but I’ve gotten used to that, too. I’ve also gotten used to the idea that my so-called “lifestyle” will never be seen for what it is, and I will always represent the punch line to a very un-funny joke, no doubt at my own expense. What a drag. In many ways, I fall back on my true “self” for support, and SHE is always there, comforting me and blotting my tears. I don’t know what I would do if I was forced to abandon my beloved crossdressing, since it represents the fast lane to peace, love, and self-understanding. I’m used to being abnormal, to the point where normalcy seems perverse. This is either denial on a grand scale, or a monumental achievement – I agree with the latter...
Thanks for reading. If all goes well, this is my 2,000th post, and today is my birthday(!)
They say that everyone you meet fears something, loves something, and has lost something. I fear losing the magic of my beloved MtF crossdressing, so I come here to spend time with my sympathetic CD friends - you have helped me more than you know, and I sincerely appreciate it! I love you all, my dear sisters...
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Originally Posted by Frédérique
, and happy 2000 post! keep up the good work.
