Got Laughed At going thru McDonalds Driveup tonight

[Anita Luken]

On way home from shopping trip to Janesville, WI tonight and went thru the Drive up En Femme. Mid thigh jean skirt, white frilly t top and white shirt. Felt I looked presentable. Place my order and drove to the first window to pay. Gave the lady my money and waiting for change. After a bit another girl gave me my change and the 1st lady came back to the window and made chit chat, seemed friendly enough. Went to pickup window and I saw other employees huddling by the window. OH OH, trans alert. Word of mouth spread quick that I was at the window and to come look. Another younger gal gave me part of the order and then the people shuffled around for a better view. Then another gal gave me the rest of the order and said thanks. As I drove off I heard lots of giggling. Felt like a sideshow freak. Wonder if I shouldn't have gone in and talked to the manager.

[NathalieX66]

Sorry to hear that.
McD's staff in New Jersey are too dumb and clueless to notice what you're wearing, or who you are. ....they really are, I'm not kidding.

Actually, nobody cares. I 100% put my money on it.

If it's any consolation, last week I was in a French restaurant in a very affluent town in NJ, outside of New York City, dining with someone who is transitoning, and I got a snicker from a few folks, but most left us alone and minded their own business. The restaurant wait staff treated us like gold, nobody bothered us,we had no eyes on us from the other patrons.......it felt normal and great.
I welcome anyone's experience being en femme out in public. Tell your experience. Everywhere on the east coast between Washington, DC, and Boston just doesn't seem to give a 'at's rass'.

[arbon]

Sorry you had that experience, I have had similar experiences. Not a lot of fun being other peoples entertainment like that.
Maybe complain about it in writing to them?

[Cynthia Anne]

Perhaps you should of left the car where it was and went in to talk to management! Or just ignore the a$$holes! Hugs!
Knowing me I would of done the first choice!

[Shananigans]

You should have told them that you also perform magic tricks at $1/person. For $1 you can make a bird appear out of thin air as you simultaneously fade into disappearance.

As the money is collected, flick them off and drive away laughing.

[Amy Lynn3]

Shananigans, two great minds think alike. I would have done the same thing you suggest. Sorry, OP, you had that happen to you.

[Courtney_Glenn]

seems how this is an online forum, I can not offer you a tangible hug like I would like to. I can however offer a tid-bit form my shelf of proverbs: If someone is trying to take you down, it means you are above them.

[Persephone]

As sad as I am that you had to endure that embarrassment, I think that Lori M. Crawford made a good point on another thread, “if you go out an some one looks at you an calls ms it might be you need to work on something.”

You could have gone in and raised some sort of stink with the manager, or you can take it as a critical review of your "performance." Use it to ask yourself what you think got you read and consider how you can work to overcome it.

Growth, achievement, and pride do not come from whining about others, they come from improving yourself.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="4"]You are going to get made, and young people with tons of insecurities and no class are going to snicker and make fun of you and any other people who don't fit their "norm". Just life in the big city. Pay no attention, laugh it off, expect no less, and if you are respectfully well treated, be overjoyed. That's as good as it gets![/SIZE]

[Eryn]

I'm sorry to hear about your experience. Unfortunately, teenage minimum wage hamburger stand employees are neither well-trained in customer service or able to restrain themselves socially. A somewhat masculine-looking GG would have been subject to the same treatment.

Next time dine a bit more upscale, at a restaurant with real waiters or waitresses. They'll treat you much better.

[Noemi]

People can be trained idiots. Some are idiots with no training at all.

But seriously, I am sure that you were made to feel uncomfortable by the McD's staff, Please be reminded that there is nothing wrong with you/us. We have a strong desire to express our femininity. Feminine feelings that are deeply rooted and obvious to us. Many people will not understand.
On another note♫ Don't eat that stuff, bad for you.

[SusanLCD]

To echo Nathalie's comment from another part of the country, most places don't care. I'm saddened that you discovered one of the exceptions.

I have eaten alone (as well as with friends) at restaurants in the DFW area with little reaction from other patrons or from wait staff. A few nights ago, I stopped (alone) at a busy mexican food restaurant and had a meal. The greeter walked me to a table amidst the crowd, I sat, ordered, and ate my meal, etc. (Even got a "to go" box because I couldn't finish it.) During the 45 minutes or so that I was there, I only detected one brief glance from another woman a few tables away. Even she returned to her conversation and paid no more attention. Most times, that's how it is: uneventful.

I think it's tougher to order in the drive-thru because our voices set up an expectation of who will be driving up to the window. My voice, for example, is not very femme and the SA will usually be surprised when I arrive at the food window. On the other hand, if I'm in line inside at the counter, the visual cues set up the SAs thoughts for a woman before I ever place the order.

Of course, this will weigh on your thoughts on your next outing. But, try to put it behind you and take your business elsewhere. Soon, good experiences will have replaced this one and you'll realize that you're seeing so much more of life than those SAs will ever know exists. You have the advantage.

[Karren H]

If getting giggled at is the worst thing that ever happens to you while out enfemme.....

[Celeste]

You know this has happened to me also,I've come to understand that its bound to happen sometimes...it may have been their first exposure to anyone cd or trans.Try looking at it this way,"they are momentarily at a loss about how to treat you or address you".It would be nice if people would educate themselves a bit more but I'm not holding my breath.

[Nicole Erin]

It can be aggrivating but kids tend to laugh at everything.
How do you think Beavis and Butthead got to famous?

Best thing is to just go about with life. And yeah, McD's is gross.

[LeannL]

Anita,
It is hard to be laughed at. It has happened to all of us who have the courage (I am not disparaging those that don't with this comment) to go out into the world as our true self. It is cruel and uncaring to laugh at anyone for any reason.

As someone has already mentioned, the drive through actually makes it more likely that you will be read. If we present as female and our voice is a little off, people give us the benefit of the doubt. The hardest part of speaking is not the pitch but the subtle phrasing, intonation and word selection. When all a person has is the voice without a visual, they set an expectation of what they will see and, bingo, we don't match. I have been unsuccessful at calling someone and being taken as a female but I seldom have a problem when I am out and about. So hang in there.

As a note of encouragement, I would like to relay this story about one encounter. One Sunday morning after going to Mass en femme, I went to the Old Country Buffet for breakfast. I got read right away - like when I walked in. I had people watching me but I didn't care. Had to go to the bathroom (women's) and someone even followed me in. I finished and left and when I was about 20 feet out the door, a young lady came running out and came up to me. She gave me a hug and thanked me for having the courage to be who I was. What more can a CD/TG/TS ask for? Obviously, I will never forget her. So even though there are the jerks out there, there are also many people who care, care to understand and even appreciate us.

Leann

[Michelle 51]

Get use to it.If we had eyes in the back of our head we would see how much people snicker when they know we can't see them.Most people don't care and will treat you as a person.The thing I find is one jerk will do more damage to your ego than 10 people who treat you with respect.Learn to accept it and hold your head high .

[Beverley Sims]

Beware that can happen to you. Excessive intake of fast food.
If you eat too much of it like the staff does, you may get reduced mentality as well.

[mbmeen12]

I am sorry for your pain/discomfort. I say, write a letter on who, what, where, when and why to MacDonald's corporation head quarters. Now many restaurants are owed independently but sensitivity training is in order for this corporation. Actually I'm mad/angry! This is NOT exceptable...my Irish is showing, sorry because I see red when I get pissed....

[Kathy4ever]

They were not very proffesioal in there behavior. I think it is still the nature of the beast that we must over come. On a lighter note they didn't throw stones at you atleast. I remember as a kid i was always taught stick and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt. I really wish that was true and feel your pain. Just don't patronize that Mcdonalds and write a letter to headquarters.

[Andy66]

Yet another reason to avoid McDonalds. Sorry that happened to you.

[Kate Simmons]

That happened to me at the Wendy's drive up some years ago. I didn't mind the snickering and the last thing the guy said to me was: "Hey man, have a great night." I'm thinking he had admiration for me having the guts to do it.

[Karren H]

Yet another reason to avoid McDonalds. Sorry that happened to you.

I can withstand a little public giggling if I really need a Bid Mac enfemme! Lol.

[Jenny Doolittle]

[SIZE="4"]You are going to get made, and young people with tons of insecurities and no class are going to snicker and make fun of you and any other people who don't fit their "norm". Just life in the big city. Pay no attention, laugh it off, expect no less, and if you are respectfully well treated, be overjoyed. That's as good as it gets![/SIZE]

I have to agree with Lynn's point of view. The kids at McDonald's are just that, teenage kids, that still have a lot to learn about life. Perhaps this exposure will give some of the more mature kids a life experience that will help them grow into adulthood respecting the differences of others as a positive.

[CINDYO]

i think with that group of people it would have been more embarassing to leave the car and go into the store, you could write the manager a letter, i just do not think that would make any difference either but can't hurt i supppose.