I have allowed a little crossover. I often wear clothing are fashionably feminine when I must go out in drab. For example, I often wear women's jeans and women's blouses that, except for the buttons, could as easily be mistaken for men's shirts. Its fun to mix in things that are a bit more stylish and have a hint of femininity.
Simple answer is because men define women by appearance, and define other men by what they do, not what they look like. So when we want to feel feminine, it's the 'look' that we feel the need to emulate the most. We see women focusing so much on clothes, make up, jewelry, etc, so that's what we want to do, too. We'd probably focus on our intimate relationships more than 'normal' guys too, but most of us don't have any 'intimate relationship'; not to mention, I've overheard women who don't like guys who are too into it because it makes us seem too 'needy'.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
For many of us it was a matter of not appearing to be feminine in any way or to like feminine things. One must be confident
about oneself in order to not worry about fitting strictly into the "box" defined by society as "male".
Hugs, Carole
[SIZE="4"]I like to look good no matter what I wear. Sort of a neatnik. I never, ever, wear T-shirts. I advertise for no one unless I'm getting paid![/SIZE]Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
This is interesting. I have found myself dressing more fem in my male mode - not overtly mind you. I always wear womens jeans or pants and various neutral womens tops like pull overs and silk shirts. To be honest, I really like the womans jeans much better than the mens pants - and my wife says it shows off my butt nicely. If my friends have noticed, they have not said anything. When working, its all business.
Because my knuckle dragging persona is way to paranoid to appear even the least bit feminine. Suzy is still in the cave.
This is exactly what I'm thinking it could be! Thanks for the great replies everyone and I think you've all explained pretty well. At his job there's no way to dress fenimnine, even the women dress like men.And there's no way he can have any sort of feminine appearance, no WAY in public!! He's as manly as you can get until you get to know him.
His family would make fun of anything out of the nornal I think and he knows it.He went and bought MEN's open toe sandals and felt like it was a huge step, and to him it is!
Just trying to figure this all out and I am so thankful to have so many great opinions and ideas to think about. I don't push any kind of clothes, just ask and try to figure out how to be helpful and understanding without over stepping.
When I worked I tried to look professional and kept myself neat and middle of the road stylish but comfort was important as well. When we would go out I would dress in coat and tie if it was expected. If it was time to be casual I preferred to wear a very colorful 'Aloha' shirt in the warmer months and quality wool shirts in the winter. I wasn't a fashion plate, but I don't think I was a slob. There are times when I'm doing yard work or camping that function is much more important than fashion, so it seems I do think about what I wear, but never went overboard in my guy wardrobe. I wore those things all the time and I became a creature of habit and never saw a benefit to go high end with men's clothes.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
The feminine side for crossdressers is very strong and for us men, fashion is very bland to us. Women's fashion has a certain beauty to it that we love. Suits are always the same thing but dresses are always different. Heels are much better than male dress shoes. lingerie is more fun than an undershirt and boxers
He is very lucky to have you as a friend.
I agree with that, I always had so much more fun dressing my little girl than my little boy, they don't make exciting things for men! But there are occasions that a mens dressy shirt could look nice and be manly but maybe feel more feminine? Maybe because of the material alone either feel of how it hangs?
But I can see what you mean, very generic and boring!
My girl side goes out every where but it does not cross over into my corporate professional life.
I finally let my hair grow down to my shoulders after 15 months of solid growth. I also wear either 3/4"silver hoop earrings, or cubic zirconia studs in pblic......,Sounds great, but I think I look like a mess.
Problem is, I don't feel whole without all this. I'm, in the corporate field, and I took a chance. .....ain't no going back now.
I love clothes, both mens, and womens, now having said that. A pink Hawaiian shirt in polyester, does not make me feel the same as a Brown coarse cotton Blouse. While I like to dress nice in drab, it has nothing to do with the time I love to spend in female clothes, and does not have anything to do with fulfilling the needs that cross dressing gives me. And as a man I wear Polyester, and Silk, when ever possible, and love Pink, Purples, Yellows, and Pastels of all kinds. But it still is not female, and there for it's just clothes.
Tina B.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
I spent my entire adult life working in the building trades so making an impression with my style of clothes wasn't a top priority. Most of what I wore were jeans and tees in summer and jeans and flannel shirts for winter. However when it came to my pretty feminine clothes, I always wanted to look my best and fashion was a number one priority.
Luv andJill
Straight, into Fantasy Land
I dress in suits and ties most work days and jeans and t-shirts most other. I have worn my girl stuff under my clothes (not bras... think others can see that) and it makes me feel male and female? Feels good and makes me a calmer person I think..
i find since i started dressing as a gurl a little more seriously, my drab side has become a lot more fashionable. its weird... suddenly i find myself caring a whole lot more about how i look. and i'm becoming more and more into looking good in drab... tighter fitting shirts, more stylish pants, patterned socks... maybe it's because i don't tget to dress in gurl mode very often, so paying attention to clothes and fashion in drab mode is my little way of feeling like a gurl even if i'm not dressed. does that make any sense? probably not...
I have worn womens jeans, shorts a long wig (sholder length), sandles and silk tops for years. The funny thing is how many men like the jeans, especially the bell bottoms and ask me where to get them. I under dress all the time (no bra). It does make me feel better and no one ever says anything to make me feel not accepted.
So wear what makes you comfortable, thats what this is all about.
Hi ,
How many of you are guy' & would dress in pink overalls to work think about it for a moment,
Im a tradesman & proud of it im allmost 65 & nothing i do will change who i am,
yes i went in to a shop that had all sorts of neat overalls only one miner detail as i said to the woman selling them , theres none in my size, they were for young girls aged up to 14 so not this time round ill try her again , & see,
okay on the job site or what ever, i wear orange overalls. yet my difference is im a woman..& my nick name on another site was wendy the builder. Love it.
Now pink is not a drab colour & its my fav. one day ill get a pair,
At other times ill wear shorts & a tee, & my sunhat pink or white. in the summer & my piny with tools,
To tell the truth yes i had to wear bloody male clothes years ago though allmost all the time it was shorts summer & winter. hated boy clothes, oh well dont have any now not any more & even Jos said years ago what ya got them for, I dont know , then give them away. so we did, all my washing i hang on the clothes line are my womens clothes.
You know some thing i just dont get how you can wear such lousy not nice hard stiff sandpaper suits , i would not even let our sommer = female dog sleep on them let alone have them in our home........horobale looking clothes....oh well thats me.
...noeleena...
I used to be pretty bland in my drab clothing, but that is changing as I come to accept myself more. Getting some pink in my male wardrobe, and branching out more in different styles. I even bought a murse.
I agree that for some of us its about looking the part, staying well within social restrictions. I don't know if its a good or bad thing, but for me its like "whats the point" if I cant go all the way. I have multiples of the same plain shirts. dont like them much, but if I cant wear a dress everyday, I dont want to try anything else ..
Hi Ladies,
OK, I'm going to date myself but back in the 70s there was a much wider choice of colors and styles for mem. I used to wear burgundy or forest green, along with more typical pant colors. Bell bottom corduroy pants and crazy colored shirts were common - and I dressed conservatively! Now everything is so bland.
Georgia (Gigi) Maine
Because it feels great for us CDs to get dressed up all pretty and do a great job of it. Doing that - and usually the better the job the better the feeling - brings out a part of ourselves.
That applies to a certain extent in drab as well. Just not quite with the same resonant power.
As I am reading the replies, I'm seeing a couple of different themes in replies here. One is mixing clothes that are culturally designated for women with that of which are culturally designated for men. The second is dressing well in men's clothing which would be as equivalently nice in what they wear in women's clothing.
I believe that the originally posting refers to more to the second theme rather than the first. When I dress as a male, I'm just as much as a clothing and appearance snob as I am when I dress as a female. I like to look good no matter what. I'm a big RL Polo person, and a shoe snob as well. When I'm out as a male running around doing errands, I'm still in a nice polo shirt and a nice pair of shorts or jeans, and fashionable shoes. Even though I'm dressing in what I feel is relaxed, it is still fashionable and sharp. If going to a formal event as a man, I like to wear nice suits, fashionable ties, a sharp shirt and some nice Cole Haan's. The one area that I'm not as creative is the more dress casual/business casual look. That has more to do with what I have spent my money on.
I will admit, that usually when I go out as a female, I'm more dressed up than I would be as a man. However culturally, women have a wider range of appropriate attire for occasions than men do. When I go out as female, usually it's to a bar or to a friend's house. I can dress in comfortable women's clothing or dressier women's clothing and be perfectly acceptable in those situations anywhere in between. So when dressing as a female, the social situations allows me to dress nicer, which I can't always take advantage of as a male.
Now as I have started embracing my female side, and am in the stages of questioning who I am in terms of gender, I've started to wear more feminine male clothing (in terms of colors, materials, designed. Items that are "metro" or what Tim Gunn would wear). I've also started mixing female and men's clothing, I have started to wear women's jeans and women's tops, but these items are more of gender neutral items that can go either way.
Culturally, women do have a much wider variety of what not only what is acceptable to wear, but different types of items as well. This isn't a new subject by any means. However, if we really wanted to dress nicer and/or more fashionable as men we can. There are a few things that as men, we do have more variety than women to wear. There are certain shoe segments that men can wear while still be fashionable, such as the casual athletic shoes that are popular. I've seen some very stylish Cole Haan's as well. We have more types of suits than women as well (in terms of design, patterns and materials, but not cuts). We can start grooming ourselves in a more feminine ways too. Men can go tanning, remove back and chest hair as well. However we are at the beginning stages of these things being widely acceptable, and it is still considered "gay" by many people, which is extremely unfortunate. However, if want to make wearing men's clothing more exciting, we can. It just might take a bit more creativity and having a thicker skin.
I couldn't care less about men's fashions. I prefer a decent enough shirt and pants, but that's it. I would never be GQ.
During my life as a present male, my fashion and grooming were average, as a female I think that I strive & achieve better, at least I hope so.
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
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