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Thread: I TOLD and was SHOCKED - I love this woman!

  1. #1
    New Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2012

    I TOLD and was SHOCKED - I love this woman!

    Well, I spent all night last night writing out what I needed to say to my W. When I started writing I just couldn't stop. So, I left work early so that I could be home before she came home. I stopped on the way and picked up her favorite flowers and made her a home made dinner.. well as best as I could! I'm not a chef but I gave it my best shot and it came out better then I thought it would.

    When she got home from work she walked into the kitchen and saw the table set, flowers, candles and me with food in hand. I looked at her and told her I love you. She smiled her cute little smile and said "I know".

    We sat down to eat and she noticed I wasn't eating and I pulled out my letter. I wasn't going to read it I just wanted to have it in case I forgot anything. She said, SO YOUR READY TO TELL ME?

    SHE HAS KNOWN FOR A WHILE NOW! She looked at me and touched my arm and said "I have known for a while now and was beginning to worry that you would never open up to me".

    She has asked that I give her time to learn about this. She is actually standing next to me as I type this and is telling me what she is comfortable for me to write. I understand how she does not want see this just yet. She still looks at me as her husband and we have decided to go into counseling together so that we can work on making our marriage stronger. I am so thankful I came clean.

    She has told me that since I have not tried to manipulate the situation and came clean with her, she cannot judge me for what I have been doing because she has already been researching this and understands it is not something I can stop. She knows she has more to learn but is willing to work on this together.

    I love this lady of mine

  2. #2
    Member BobbieBrooks's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    west Mi
    Will tell my story someday, but it somewhat mirrors yours. Everything was doing well ,then the wife broke down one night when we were out walking. She stated that she had lost the man she married. We had a loooooong talk and worked things out. I am still her man but she now has a best girl friend too! Talk and talk and talk some more as that is the best counseling that can be done. Understanding each others feelings by talking TO each other always works. Best wishes to you both as new doors are opened.

    To Dream of the Person you want to be Is to Waste the Person you are. unknown

    And like the song: What doesn't kill you, can't hurt you.

  3. #3
    Diamond Member Persephone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    On the road in an RV, homebase Texas
    Congratulations! Her acceptance has got to be the best gift in the world!

    Enjoy! Take it slow and give her an extra hug and kiss!

    "If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.

    "If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)

    -.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member Janelle_C's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Northern California
    That so wonderful I'm so glad that your wife is open minded and loves you that much. I'm glad for the both of you. Janelle
    "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" Anais Nin.

    Live, Laugh, and Love Yourself!

  5. #5
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Mo. Ozarks
    I guess some times when it sounds too good to be true, it's true anyhow! Give her a hug for all of us! Best wishes to you both! Hugs!
    If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:

  6. #6
    My Ship has sailed? Barbara Ella's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Central Illinois
    Congrats, and again, give your lovely wife a big hug from me. Both of you take it slow. expect emotions to go up and down, just keep talking openly and honestly. You both are past the roughest part for you. i hope eventually your wife will join and contribute also.

    Hugs, Barbara
    He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
    - Friedrich Nietzche -
    I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.

  7. #7
    Junior Member Rachel87's Avatar
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    Sep 2011
    California, Bay Area
    Wow, that is amazing! I'm so happy for you. You hat to love that woman with all your heart!

  8. #8
    Silver Member Marcia Blue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Western Iowa
    I am so glad you have opened up to your wife. I am even happier for you, to find out she is OK with CDing.

    I do have two pieces of advice, baby steps and watch out for the "Pink Fog".
    Marcia (LOVES) Blue

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    ...go slow....let her set the pace

  10. #10
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    We love happy stories like this! Thanks for sharing.

  11. #11
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Alpharetta, GA
    I told my late wife before we married, and she totally accepted me "as is! " We had almost 50 year together before cancer took her. BTW, any CD on here can stop if you really want to. I did stop completely for a 5 year period during our marriage and only started up again because my wife begged me to!! She missed Stephanie in her life!!

    All the advice you have recieved is good! Just remember, your wife married a MAN so be one!!

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  12. #12
    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    You are a lucky person. Yur wife seems to be someone who really loves you. Don't loose track of that. As others have said, Take it slow and don't push for more than she is willing to accept. Best wishes
    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
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    Jan 2012
    East coast
    The title of your post says it all. It is refreshing to see a good outcome. You both are lucky, special people.

  14. #14
    Claire Claire Cook's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    E-cent. FL / Arlington VA
    Yes, it's wonderful to read stories like this. Sometimes spouses / SO's realize that there is more to a relationship than dressing, and that the whole package is greater than the sum of its parts - or at least some of its parts. (It's such a pity that more wives / SO's don't appreciate this.) It's taken my wife more than 40 years to get to where she is now -- for the first time, she is suggesting things that the girls ought to do together (usually I do that). So -- like others have said -- do take it slow, and let her proceed at her pace. I think you'll find that adjustments are needed on both sides -- but isn't that what marriage is about?

    Treasure that girl!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club

  15. #15
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Central Massachusetts
    What a wonderful, lovely story! Good luck!

  16. #16
    Silver Member DebbieL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Bridgewater NJ
    Bravo! I love the way you chose to break it to her too. You didn't just drop the bomb, you made a meal, bought her flowers, and did things that you knew she wanted you to do. You made it a romantic evening while at the same time making it a safe place for you to share your most intimate secrets, and for her to safely react and let you know that she knew and was waiting for you to tell her. Clearly she loves you and wants to know how to make this work so that both of you can really enjoy your life together.

    Good for you for being honest. The irony is that at least by being honest you have eliminated some of her greatest fears. She knows you want to be with her, to love her, and to continue to be her husband. She knows you aren't having an affair with another woman, or another man, and she knows you aren't gay.

    If you have access to Kindle or Kindle software, there are a number of excellent fiction and non-fiction works that will help her to understand the feelings we experience in dressing and being feminine, as well as the various stages and degrees of transgender behavior. It might also help for you to share, in writing, your FEELINGS about dressing, and being feminine.

    You will know that she truly accepts you when she asks you to dress up and starts helping you with your hair, make-up, and wardrobe, as well as teaching you how to behave like a lady. This is when she has embraced who you are, and is ready to go out and have dinner with you (perhaps a late dinner in a dark restaurant at first), or go shopping with you to help you pick out clothes that are not too ****ty.

    You will also need to start thinking for yourself about how far you want to go. Do you just want it to be at home, in the bedroom? The occasional evening out, or perhaps a whole week-end as your feminine self with you and your wife as two sisters or girlfriends going out for a week-end of fun and adventure. You might even want to go to a hotel in a different town, just to make it more fun for her. Obviously she will need to pick up the restaurant tabs, but it will give both of you a chance to experience both sides of who you are.

    It doesn't sound like you are considering transition, which is something you should let her know. She needs to know that you still want to be her husband and her man, as well as her girlfriend. The fact that she knew, and was relieved that you finally told her, and that she wanted to wait for you to tell her, tells me that she may have some secret desires of her own, that you may enjoy exploring with her. She might want to have more control, to dominate, or to be seduced. She might even be open to exploring new options such as toys and sensual play, things that intimidate traditional masculine men are now options that you can explore together. You no longer have to protect the facade of masculinity to protect your feminine side.

    I suspect that if you are willing to explore her needs and desires, and what your honesty has opened up, that you will find that you both love each other more than you ever thought possible.

  17. #17
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    That to me is a very first big step.
    The response is wonderful and I hope the road is not too rocky for you.
    Keep on loving each other and move slowly.
    You have the rest of your life together.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  18. #18
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    North Coast of California
    Congratulations, telling my wife was the best day in my life, because it made the rest of it so much nicer!
    Tina B.
    Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.

  19. #19
    Platinum Member
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    Jan 2010
    Almost the Great White North...
    Your blessed with a very thoughtful and intelligent woman.

  20. #20
    CamilleLeon's SO Shananigans's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Birmingham, Alabama
    Cooked, cleaned, AND bought flowers?! You probably could have told me that you robbed a bank and I'd still be happy.

    Lol congratulations! I am glad that your coming-out to your wife went well. It's awesome that she wants to learn more about what it means to be TG. I wish you two all of the best!
    "Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
    “What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck

  21. #21
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Fort Myers, Florida
    I love the way you went about things. Congratulations! What a fantastic wife you have! She no doubt loves you. I hope she joins here so she too can get the support she may need. Please ask her to join us and then join FAB. She really sounds like the kind of woman we all would love to see here; both other GG's and the rest of us.

  22. #22
    Gender adventurer JamieG's Avatar
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    Jul 2009
    Eastern Pennsylvania
    What a great story! Thanks for sharing.

  23. #23
    Junior Member muzzy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    I'm very happy for the both of you xoxo

  24. #24
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    She sounds like a gem! I'm so happy that you've both decided to join forces and deal with this together, rather than be at logger heads.

    You can also mention to your wife that we have a FAB (female at birth) support forum if she wants to talk to other wives/girlfriends. She'd need to become a member and first post ten times outside of any posts made in intro sections though:

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member Silentpartner GG SO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Thats a lovely story and a wonderful outcome. As others have said, take it slowly now - dont want to spoil everything by pushing too far too fast.

    I hope your wife decides to join us here - she sounds a lovely lady.

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