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Thread: Crossdressing and male attraction

  1. #26
    New Member monicagurl23's Avatar
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    toni_62 i am new to this too and have been asking myself many of the same questions.

  2. #27
    Member Sophie_C's Avatar
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    You know, I have to ask a simple question about all of this:

    For women, hetero, GG women (especially the ones responding here), don't most guys NOT "do it" for you?

    Don't the vast majority of guys not have that unknown chemistry that makes things right for you?

    So, what's to say that if a person who isn't GG, who figured they'd just try out guys, wouldn't have the same sort of thing going on for themselves? Wouldn't the majority of guys not have the chemistry they needed, just like the majority of guys don't have the chemistry you need for a relationship?

    And, just because the majority of guys don't have that chemistry, it doesn't mean you're not attracted to guys, right? Of course, you still are. So, what's to say that's any bit different?

    Sometimes I think people are too dismissive of these simple things. I'm quite sure most GGs didn't have amazing chemistry with the first guy they dated, but sooner or later they met a guy they did have great chemistry with, and life carried on from there, no?

    Or, it could just be all fantasy...

    I feel these questions just need to be asked, since they never have been, and should be, that's all...

  3. #28
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sophie_C View Post
    For women, hetero, GG women (especially the ones responding here), don't most guys NOT "do it" for you?

    Don't the vast majority of guys not have that unknown chemistry that makes things right for you?

    Sometimes I think people are too dismissive of these simple things. I'm quite sure most GGs didn't have amazing chemistry with the first guy they dated, but sooner or later they met a guy they did have great chemistry with, and life carried on from there, no?
    Simple. I see many beautiful women walking around and also in the media. I have NEVER been attracted to any of them. In fact, the idea of kissing or having sex with a genetic woman no matter how beautiful, smart, confident, accomplished, kind, creative (in short all the qualities I look for in men), gives me the heebie-jeebies. lol

    On the other hand, it is true that not all genetic men produce the butterfly feelings internally for me, but when I've had those feelings it has only been with physical males.

    You have to be hetero in order to understand this, I think.
    Reine

  4. #29
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Or, perhaps it's difficult to get a good read on how you really feel if all you're looking for from a man is a quick bone.
    (lol)

    Take what I say with a grain of salt, for the intensity of my attraction to men changes as often as the weather.

  5. #30
    Senior Member joannemarie barker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Simple. I see many beautiful women walking around and also in the media. I have NEVER been attracted to any of them. In fact, the idea of kissing or having sex with a genetic woman no matter how beautiful, smart, confident, accomplished, kind, creative (in short all the qualities I look for in men), gives me the heebie-jeebies. lol

    On the other hand, it is true that not all genetic men produce the butterfly feelings internally for me, but when I've had those feelings it has only been with physical males.

    You have to be hetero in order to understand this, I think.

    I don't think you have to be Hetero to understand that at all.not all guys do that for me either and no camp guys do at all but there have been one or two guys that have given me that nervous butterflies feeling in my stomach

  6. #31
    Married to SO Rufusrabbit Rebeccarabbit's Avatar
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    I never really comment on men as attractive, and giving the butterfly feelings.however, there is the odd time. For instance was in the car with Ruth the other day, and a bare chested Navi crossed the road he was complete with six pack and rather Buff..........I made a comment to Ruth and said "Corr he's fit" rather than being chastised over the comment she said to me "you never comment on men", and I don't but credit where credit is due he was toned and good looking..........
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    [SIZE="2"]"I am not this body. I am in this body, and this is part of my incarnation and I honor it but that isn't who I am."[/SIZE]

  7. #32
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by joannemarie barker View Post
    I don't think you have to be Hetero to understand that at all.not all guys do that for me either and no camp guys do at all but there have been one or two guys that have given me that nervous butterflies feeling in my stomach
    Huh? Did you read the question that I was answering? In short, Sophie was asking people not to dismiss real male attraction as being "fake", since if women aren't attracted to all men, it could well be that men aren't attracted to all men either. My response is that hetero women aren't attracted to other women at all, not even one or two. If you have a real attraction to some men then by definition you're not hetero.

    ... I also need to expand on this. If you fantasize about some men but have not physically determined whether you are turned off or not by placing yourself in the situation of being a male-bodied individual who is having sex with another male-bodied individual, then you don't know whether or not you are same sex attracted. Keeping all of this at the fantasy level might be a lot of fun (there are no limits to fantasies), but it doesn't provide any real answers.
    Reine

  8. #33
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    whowhatwhen, no it's a huge pain to find someone, then work out the details. I was on a certain site for awhile and I got lots of offers and only acted on three of them. So not about a quickie at least for me. I have come to believe it's as much about interacting with someone while dressed, and being wanted while dressed as anything.

    Sophie_C thats a legit point, but I have never felt grossed out that much kissing any woman. I've kissed a few I didn't feel that special feeling with, but never thought gross I don't like this.

  9. #34
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Oh, I didn't mean you specifically.


    You've tried it and it's obvious you're straight since you didn't feel any emotional connection to the same sex.

  10. #35
    Full-Time Duality NathalieX66's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    ... I also need to expand on this. If you fantasize about some men but have not physically determined whether you are turned off or not by placing yourself in the situation of being a male-bodied individual who is having sex with another male-bodied individual, then you don't know whether or not you are same sex attracted. Keeping all of this at the fantasy level might be a lot of fun (there are no limits to fantasies), but it doesn't provide any real answers.

    Yeah, right?
    I agree with Reine.
    Gay guys seem to be so interested in guys.........as guys.
    I think the CD/TG thing makes it more interesting for some guys, but not all...or most.
    Last edited by NathalieX66; 06-30-2012 at 03:36 PM.

  11. #36
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toni_62 View Post
    I have come to believe it's as much about interacting with someone while dressed, and being wanted while dressed as anything.
    Yup, judging by the scads of similar sentiment I've read here over they years, this seems to be the consensus. But the problem lies in finding a man who isn't after a CD for his penis. Men who seek out CDers over GGs and who would "go there" with these CDers, are (generally) doing so specifically because they want the man parts too. The TS section is filled with stories about being dropped like a hot potato the minute she has SRS.
    Reine

  12. #37
    Member julia marie's Avatar
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    Toni. You aren't alone in thinking about being with a guy when you are dressed. I agree with the site members who say those thoughts make them feel more feminine. I've never done the gay thing, but I've become more curious about it in recent years, and I'll probably try it (dressed or not). Yes, I've seen guys that gave me a bit of a flutter, but when I'm in drab there aren't many that are attractive. I think one aspect to the idea of being interested in guys when dressed is that I wonder what it's like having a guy treat me like a woman (although he would know I wasn't), and I might come a bit closer to viewing the world as a woman.
    Of course, what I find funny is that when I'm out as a guy and I see a pretty woman I'm torn between wanting to be her, or to be with her.

  13. #38
    Dana Matthews danam's Avatar
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    Just wanted to say that I read this thread with intense interest. I too never once thought I was gay, but always loved CDing. But lately I too have pondered this question, as my fantasies have taken a strong bisexual turn.

    I had a very strange experience the second time I went out (which, incidentally, I documented on youtube). I was in the mall for like 2 minutes, dressed in a skirt suit. I got maybe 100 feet in the mall, saw a janitor way across the hall, and immediately turned around to leave the building. He followed me. He was a safe distance, so I wasn't worried about contact, but I needed to leave. I sensed he was watching me (I think I did look pretty good from that distance) so I made sure that I kept walking like a woman. I focused intently on maintaining my girly walk. I completely shocked myself that I enjoyed it! I really enjoyed the feeling of being watched by a man. Ever since that moment I have had some pretty detailed fantasies of being with a man. I have never explored these fantasies in real life. So I am intensely interested in learning more about how that type of situation works out. And, like you, the thought continually crosses my mind--am I "bi" now? Now that I fantasize of being dressed as a woman and being totally with a man? Because I must admit, my fantasies (never explored in real life, mind you) are definitely quite bi.

    But in real life, in day-to-day interactions, I have no attraction to men whatsoever. I'm always checking out the GGs. Darn its complicated!!!!
    Been around for a while, been away for a while. On the verge of coming back...Help me!

  14. #39
    Dr. Girlfriend AmandaM's Avatar
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    I really think it's that CDers are part-female mentally. I can offer no other explanation. When we get in touch with the female part of us, you never know what feelings show up.

  15. #40
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by danam View Post
    And, like you, the thought continually crosses my mind--am I "bi" now? Now that I fantasize of being dressed as a woman and being totally with a man? Because I must admit, my fantasies (never explored in real life, mind you) are definitely quite bi.
    Well, you won't know if you're bi until you actually go out there and try it, so see how it makes you feel. As long as it is in the realm of fantasy, it is just that: a fantasy.

    I gather there are many CDers who over time find this fantasy particularly exciting since it emphasizes their femininity in ways not previously experienced (AGP), and since they're having so much fun with it they're not particularly interested in getting answers for themselves and possibly shattering the illusion.

    It's like a teenage girl who is enamored with a particular teen idol, and she has all kinds of sexual fantasies about him. She knows they'll never meet and the fantasies provide her with hours and hours of thrilling moments as she is discovering her sexuality. If she met him in real life though, they might not connect at all especially if he didn't think she was all that special. And if she is unwilling to let go of the fantasy, this might seriously get in the way of developing a relationship with a boy in her neighborhood who might really like her. This boy would not be able to compare.

    I know this isn't a great analogy but it's the best I can do.
    Reine

  16. #41
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Well, you won't know if you're bi until you actually go out there and try it, so see how it makes you feel. As long as it is in the realm of fantasy, it is just that: a fantasy.
    I'm going to disagree there, sexual orientation is not defined by having sex.
    It's based on physical attraction so if you're attracted to both sexes, then you're bisexual.

    If it turns out not to be, then no one forces you to continue having same sex relationships but if you're still physically attracted to the same sex then it's really not fair to say you're straight.

  17. #42
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whowhatwhen View Post
    I'm going to disagree there, sexual orientation is not defined by having sex.
    It's based on physical attraction so if you're attracted to both sexes, then you're bisexual.
    Oh, c'mon! What if you fantasize until the cows come home, and then when you're actually in a room with a guy that you presumably went with because you thought he fit the bill and then when you're in the middle of the act, you think either, "Ick" or "I don't feel a thing".

    No. There's a difference between fantasy and real life.
    Reine

  18. #43
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Oh, c'mon! What if you fantasize until the cows come home, and then when you're actually in a room with a guy that you presumably went with because you thought he fit the bill and then when you're in the middle of the act, you think either, "Ick" or "I don't feel a thing".

    No. There's a difference between fantasy and real life.
    Sex != attraction.
    It's how you can be gay (or straight) before having sex, putting your wiener somewhere doesn't magically flip a sexual orientation switch.

  19. #44
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by busker View Post
    the pink fog or rationalization. I'm dressed as a woman so I might just as well act like one and get laid.
    this is another one "'I'm open to a relationship with another M2F transgendered girl "
    as is this
    "Which is why I could never be with a male CD..a man who dresses in womans clothes yet lacks any well developed genuine female self that is deeply felt & immediately present"
    I do not think it is possible for any male, through the miracle of surgery or chemistry to promote a "genuine" female self. If you are socialized as a male, that is your subjective viewpoint of the world and your environment. It cannot be anything else. It is difficult enough to describe what it is to be a male (or female) and to think that one could just say abra ca dabra and BE a female is truly a fantasy. A male can only project what his IMAGINATION creates of a female persona. Since he can never look through the eyes and mind of a real woman his viewpoint is limited., as is his projection . IMHHHHHO
    speak for yourself buster! and what the $%^& are you wearing anyway!!!

  20. #45
    Dr. Girlfriend AmandaM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Simple. I see many beautiful women walking around and also in the media. I have NEVER been attracted to any of them. In fact, the idea of kissing or having sex with a genetic woman no matter how beautiful, smart, confident, accomplished, kind, creative (in short all the qualities I look for in men), gives me the heebie-jeebies. lol
    Well, if you put on some workboots, a ratty tee shirt, and a fake moustache, maybe you'll change your mind! LOLOL!!!

  21. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aprilrain View Post
    speak for yourself buster! and what the $%^& are you wearing anyway!!!
    I always wear my tinfoil hat when I'm on CDdotcom, and carry a BIG umbrella for just -in-case.

  22. #47
    Silver Member Babeba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whowhatwhen View Post
    I'm going to disagree there, sexual orientation is not defined by having sex.
    It's based on physical attraction so if you're attracted to both sexes, then you're bisexual.

    If it turns out not to be, then no one forces you to continue having same sex relationships but if you're still physically attracted to the same sex then it's really not fair to say you're straight.
    In the case of the OP and with others who have posted, there isn't an attraction to men but their phalluses.

    In the case of a friend of mine who is gay, he tried as a young teen to interest himself in girls and get crushes on girls... Never happened. If you were to use Kinsey's scale, he is as gay as they come and I can't remember if that is five or six, either way that is him. A person who is not vaguely interested even when open to it is definitely not that orientation. A person who fantasizes may or may not be, depending on the fantasy and how they would actually react. There are a lot of women with rape fantasies out there... It does not mean they are oriented to wanting to be forced into sex. It means that it is an exciting fantasy. (personally, I think it ties into the whole notion of sex being kind of shameful for women to want, so they can enjoy it without shame if they were not in charge of the decision to do it.)

    Now, in the case of being attracted to a particular body part and not the rest of the Person, first off, that is turning them into a sex object and equating the person with the body part... Second off, with an accepting and willing partner (gg) there are ways to include that sort of role play into the bedroom. I don't want to be more explicit than that, but it seems to be a solution.
    Last edited by Babeba; 07-01-2012 at 09:25 AM.

  23. #48
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    I'm still trying to figure things out, and I guess I will be for quite some time. The "Pink Fog" thing is so right though. For the first few months after I started CDing seriously I was so messed up with the high of it all I was actually wondering if I had serious gender identity issues! I finally decided "no silly you just have a fetish and like pretending to be a woman". I really don't want to be one full time. I think having sex with a few males showed me I was not gay and probably not even bi-sexual because I only liked certain aspects of being with a man.

    I feel no attraction to men other than wanting them to fulfill my femm sides desires. My desires are sometimes when dressed to have sex like a woman. If I was not dressed no way could I do it, even though I could be en femm in my mind like I am now typing this. It does take being dressed to make the transformation complete.

    It's really quite confusing because if I were to just throw on a wig and lipstick only I could not have sex with a man. I have to be fully dressed looking as good as I can possibly make myself look before I can go all the way. Almost like each step of getting dolled up is a ritual turning me into a physical woman merging her with the one in my head. I have to look in the mirror and see a woman, not a guy with a wig and lipstick on. Does this make any sense?

  24. #49
    Dr. Girlfriend AmandaM's Avatar
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    Makes sense to me. I think in this regard, we're exactly alike.

  25. #50
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toni_62 View Post
    The "Pink Fog" thing is so right though. For the first few months after I started CDing seriously I was so messed up with the high of it all I was actually wondering if I had serious gender identity issues!
    You're a poster child for this forum!

    Seriously, this seems to be common as well, and it can last more than just a few months for some people. If CDers feel constrained with the CDing due to either internal or external barriers (a degree of internailized transphobia or being in relationships with non-accepting partners), they'll be stuck at the very frustrating place of not being able to dress to get in touch with their deeper feelings, not being able to experience what it's really like to present as a woman in public, and all the fantasies will take on epic proportions.
    Reine

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