A very small number might (I have know some over the years who fall into this category), but remember, most do not.Originally Posted by wrenchette2
A very small number might (I have know some over the years who fall into this category), but remember, most do not.
I'm very much attracted to guys (I'm probably in the minority on this site.). However I can't really get into most gay porn.
I'm not only attracted to guys for that wonderful organ. I like to be able to have a genuine relationship with him. Don't get me wrong, NSA is fun, just not fulfilling. Basically, only you can decide what you like and how best to act on it.
I don't think it has a whole lot to do with CDing...it's up to how that particular man is. Let's put it this way...I've never seen a "glory hole" in female bathrooms. But, I have seen them in male bathrooms.
It has been shown by people interested in sexuality that men are much more likely to engage in casual sex. A lot of studies focused on men being more interested in casual sex because men have sperm, which requires little energy to make and is constantly produced. Women were born with all of the eggs that we will ever have...so, it is thought that we tend to be very choosy in mates...thus, women are less likely to engage in casual sex.
This is all generalization. But, it's what a lot of psychological studies have focused on with gender differences in mating strategies.
My SO told me of a study that found bi women are more likely to have casual sex...but, only with other women. The study basically worked by some stranger coming up to the participant in the study, and proposing sex. When men approached women for casual sex, women denied men 100% of the time. On the other hand, the men only denied casual sex 25-31% of the time.
The researchers proposed a few things. The first thing is that male were seen by women as more "unsafe" than other women. And, men also saw women as more safe. Thus, they figured women were more likely to accept sex from other women based on a perceived safety.
They also proposed men were more likely to have casual sex because the male orgasm is often pretty guaranteed and brought on quickly. So, women are a little less than thrilled with casual sex with men because they might not get anything from it. It was found in the study that men were perceived as being less physically capable than women to provide good sex. The men rated women higher in terms of safety and perceived sexual prowess. Women ranked men low in terms of sexual prowess and safety, but ranked women much higher. So, the researchers wondered what would happen if they gave the women a scenario of a good looking guy (Johnny Depp) and in their little story, there were hints it was going to be a safe, pleasurable encounter for her. Likewise, men were offered the same with Angelina Jolie. In these cases, men and women were the same in terms of going for the casual sex. Thus, they were saying women are just as likely as men to want casual sex when the mate is attractive, safe, and likely capable of pleasing her. This does still make me think women are more sexually "choosy." (And, I won't bore you with "choosiness" from females in sexual selection in animals). Is it that women are more choosy because it benefits them energetically in the long run? (AKA an egg take a lot of energy to make and so does 9 months carrying a baby). I'd figure so.
I'll ask my SO for the link to the study. He has mentioned the study twice, so I guess he's worried I'm going to go have sex with a girl behind his back lol. But, again, it's just a study. I'd agree that I probably wouldn't want to have casual sex with a guy. It would be no question that I'd turn some stranger down at the bar propositioning sex. It really is no surprise to me that 100% of the women rejected the men. But, it really did surprise me that only about 25% of the men said no.
So, as a whole...I don't think it's a crossdressing thing. I think men are more likely to engage in casual sex...but, a lot of guys have morals. Statistically, my sexuality shows I am more likely to have casual sex with women. But, sex isn't really a mashing of genitals and mindless humping for me...it makes me feel like a monkey in a zoo. (I actually saw two apes going at each othe at the zoo, and I immediately thought they looked like people in porn). I like to make things a mind/body experience, and I have the most pleasure from my SO. So, I'm not looking...wouldn't have casual sex with anyone. So, it's hard to generalize people like that.
But, it seems that the different ways that men and women experience orgasm and perceive safety has a lot to do with sexual choosiness...not so much crossdressing. However, if we are talking about MTF CDs, I guess they are statistically more likely to engage in casual sex. But, what if that person (maybe a MTF TG-person) had the same female thought processes on sex? If this person had the same brain chemistry as a woman in this sexual study, would the results be different? Would this person be more likely to be concerned about safety and the sexual capabilities of their partner? I'm guessing yes. I would think more female-identified people would be a lot like natal females in sexual encounters...so, probably less likely to go for casual sex. Maybe for the same reasons as natal females. But, this study in particular did not look at those relations. We know across the board (from birds to humans) that females are more sexually choosy than males (therefore, less likely to engage in casual sex)...so, it must be something pretty deeply evolved. You can't say it is the prudishness of women, because they are just as likely as men to have casual sex IF the partner is attractive, safe, and seemingly sexually capable. If this is so tightly evolved in females that we see results like this in a study, I am willing to hypothesize that female-identified (TG women) also have the same sexual choosiness. So, is the CD in question just CDing...or, is the CD in question actually just CDing because she was born in the wrong gender? If the is the first...then, I would guess just as statistically likely to have casual sex as other men. If the second...then, I would guess the statistics would look more like the female sexuality.
Let's do a study
Article mentioned here: http://www.psychologyinaction.org/20...-so-different/ (I'll go look for it in the pee- reviewed database if I actually get back on campus).
Last edited by Shananigans; 07-11-2012 at 11:22 AM.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
the thing about gay porn is that the average gay porn is done in with low quality equipment. unless you read stories on sites like nifty(.org) or literotica(.com) which i find very stimulating. if i'm watching "straight" porn i do enjoy watching the men in those. it's all about how you see it, not what.
My big gripe about gay porn is that it is almost always either 100% leather BDSM type stuff or each performer has more body hair than an entire pack of wolves. I regularly browse nifty and literotica.
I feel the same way,I am only attracted to men when I am dressed and feel like a woman......not when in man mode.....I really love the one object,love to enjoy it in every way.....I have considered myself to be bi,I don't know....I have enjoyed kissing some men,but mostly only enjoy their tool.......I guess I am turned on that a man likes me as a woman.......I'm soooo confused!!!!
European gay porn is on average done better. cant remember the company's name but they handle Bimaxxx(.com) they don't do bdsm or that many hairy men.
My husband says he feels the same way. He's attracted to men only when en femme, but hasn't acted on it (so far). I just wonder how much is the "pink fog" or if he's really bisexual. He seems to "fantasize" a whole lot. I wonder if he really went through with it if he'd enjoy it or like some here realized that the "fantasy" is all they wanted in the first place.
Define "normal"
Aye.
The purpose of my little experiment was to accept for myself, that I am physically attracted to men as a whole and not just their penises.
Now that I've confirmed it and accepted it, there is a bit less stress for me to deal with.
A bit more on topic:
Perhaps someone in a relationship seeing men on the side just wasn't going to be the bastion of fidelity TG, gay, bi, or straight.
I'm so happy for you that you figured everything out! I remember when you were having a little bit of trouble.
As far as being married to someone and getting some on the side? Really? What do people do for a living?? Sure, I guess I could be out banging some dude right now...but, I'm enjoying exfoliating my face. When I'm busy and working...I don't have time for seeing someone on the side. Whaaaat? I'm just happy to get with my SO or solo time. It seems like so much work to be creeping on the side. You have to protect yourself by wrapping yourself in plastic wrap and by bathing in rubbing alcohol...or, you like ask for their last check-up results??? I have to arrange a time...get looking fresh...try my best to make witty conversation so that I can feel better about my life and less like I'm a desperate skank getting banged without dialogue? How do people manage the time? How do you not end up with a total f*ckwad that makes you throw up in your mouth at the thought of him/her touching your genitals? How do you even come about this agreement to have sex on the side? I'm guessing if it's not cheating, the spouse has to agree to it. So, it's not like your friend. How do you meet people that are into this...and, when you do, how do you not think they're full of sh*t? It seems positively exhausting. I have to do things all day...then, prepare for Randomer? I just can't imagine it if you are working, married, and maybe have a few mini-clones...no time on your hands. I don't even have kids...I just want to learn, work, bathe, get smelling nice, lotion up, and have sex with myself or with my SO. We're both really available and disease free. I might even get work out somewhere in that time frame...and, make a good dinner. But, it usually one or the other..or, neither lol.
How does "getting some on the side" work exactly when you are in a relationship and you aren't collecting unemployment? Just filthy rich? It does not compute.
Props to people that are in an open-relationship and aren't worn out. I'm worn out thinking about it. I think fantasies are one thing...who even knows what the F I'm fantasizing about. I don't even know. It could be the color green for all I know. I think fantasy and reality are dramatically different concepts. In my fantasies I am driving an expensive car, throwing money out the window, and catching the rest on fire...if I could blow up the car it's plus two points. But, please note that in reality, I drive a Honda Element, I get slightly annoyed when homeless people ask me for money, and I am afraid of fire...especially, explosives. So WHAT THE F*CK!? I'm not going to convince myself to go do something or that it's right for me because I fantasize about it. Are you kidding me?? I once fantasized that I could juggle being with both a guy and a girl...both of them were super hot and into me (in my fantasy). Oh, it was so hot an perfect. But, then, I woke up and said, "Wait...is my subconscious suggesting that I juggle two people's feelings/emotions on top of my own? I'm already basically 4 people on my own...I can't handle that." Fantasy =/= Reality. It's why we have fantasies AND realities.
I swear if I were allowed to "get some on the side" right now, I would have 6783637x more drama...more worries...less time. In my fantasy, I don't have all of the sh*t that I have to deal with in reality.
This is always a theme on this forum...not being able to distinguish fantasy from reality. I never knew it was that hard tbh.
[And, whowhatwhen, I'm only talking about you in like the first two sentences and then just took off with the subject you brought back up. I'm not trying to talk about you...I think you're awesome. I'm just on my phone and I'm too stupid to work this forum on my phone, but I hate admitting. So, you get this block of unseparated text where it looks like I am talking to one person...and, seems like thought diarrhea explosion in electronic letters. (Well, it is the last thing).]<~I used brackets to seem more organized.
Aye.
The purpose of my little experiment was to accept for myself, that I am physically attracted to men as a whole and not just their penises.
Now that I've confirmed it and accepted it, there is a bit less stress for me to deal with.
A bit more on topic:
Perhaps someone in a relationship seeing men on the side just wasn't going to be the bastion of fidelity TG, gay, bi, or straight.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
All I know is that for me a sexual relationship has something to do about caring and loving another enough to want to pleasure someone physically, after a while one's inhibitions give way and understanding and discovering the way another finds pleasure in the physical realm becomes a very pleasurable thing to do.
But it takes a commitment, and trust, and a very honest level of giving to reach that plateau, where a true sharing of pleasure might be found.
So for me, a very selective, and caring situation might pull this out of me, but there would hav e to be a certain lvel of caring and concern involved. I would have to feel special and understood and that level of understanding would have to be both ways.
I am in a very special relationship right now that could not be commuted by a simple wham bam affair. it is not in the cards for me now or ever. there is something about what Shananigans wrote that rings very true for me.
Alyla
Last edited by Alyla; 07-11-2012 at 04:58 PM. Reason: for more clarity
Shan, what you wrote makes sense to me and probably to a lot of others, however for some it's different. Just look at the Craigslist ads for "men for men" or "casual encounters" sections on there. They meet in their cars during lunch or at a hotel after work or at the gym in the evenings...it seems a lot of places and times, they make time or just have fantasies sitting behind their computers making up ads all day/night. I'm not sure which one, but there are a lot of ads out there for "discreet" hookups.
Define "normal"
That's where the wrapping your body in plastic wrap and bathing in rubbing alcohol comes into play. "Good clean fun" are usually words that you Don't want associated with you sex life...unless, you are hooking up with someone that advertises their services online.
Putting myself in that situation...let's say I was going to just do oral with someone on CL. 30 years ago (if I had been alive), I might have not known that I could get anything by oral...but, without a doubt, it's now known you most likely will if there's anything to get. So, good grief...I thought I wasn't going "whole hog" by just doing oral...but, now, I know I'm just as invested in th possibly of crotch or face rot if things ever screwed up. So, essentially, I'm already kind of grossed out by this person. For whatever reason though, I don't have any other choice...I either have quickies with people on CL, masturbate, or just have sex with my SO (and, I've already exhausted that option...no way could my SO be just as unsatisfied with our sex life and want to spice things up). Anyway, for whatever reason, let's say CL casual encounters are my only option for play. Or, maybe I run into a truck stop. I really have to make sure I have everything I need to make sure I don't take anything unwanted home with me. So, every body wraps up, we do it, we part ways...and, I'm left wondering if That was actually a good idea. I'd be paranoid something went wrong on the way...I know that no amount of lipstick is going to make my mouth appealing if it looks like crotch rot. So, I'm equally stressed/worn out. I would probably be more worn out because I'd be worried I was a walking succubus of an STD plague, or that someone was going to find out somehow...I also have to wonder about where the Hell my life is going if this is what I am doing now. And, good grief...if no one wrapped up...I'd probably literally be paranoid for the rest of my life. We were talking about STD testing in nursing school (this is real life), and the test about herpes came up. Turns out there are blood tests...but, they aren't great at actually detecting the virus. So, since a virus can remain dormant, a person that actually is infected may not show signs for years (or, ever). It got me thinking that it would be alright to have herpes and not really know because you had no signs...but, the people you sleep with and give it to may develop it quickly. But, it's not like you can really blame the person with the herpes that honestly didn't know they had the virus and never really had symptoms. I think nursing school scared the Hell out of me. It's way more effective too, because they only show you slides in Sex Ed when you are a kid...but, there's nothing like seeing it up close and personal. I also don't think I could handle being around people that do the "down low" hookup things, because they really are a problem. People were worrying why HIV prevalence has surged in heterosexual, married women...and, it's because it was brought home to them by their husbands. And, we won't talk about what happens when a woman is pregnant, doesn't know she has HIV, and delivers a baby. But, I will say that the baby has no immunity, so the virus spreads at an accelerated rate. It's awful. It really has been a challenge for me to remain unbiased and not let my personal feelings affect my nursing...but, I pull through. However, I do see people that are doing this (especially, unprotected) as a problem. I know in fantasies, nothing bad can happen...but, it does. So, any person that saw "that route" as a viable option just definitely needs to remain single or get single. But, you never know who isn't single and who is bringing crap home to innocent people (like babies). But, some people are selfish.
Personally, I see the casual hookup with strangers option to be no option at all for all the reasons I've said. So, it leaves finding someone who may or may not be suitable for sex on the regular. And, that's exhausting in all of the same ways, but with the added component that you now have this other person in your life.
But, I think the last option is the only viable option if you find yourself wanting to be in a relationship with one person and f*cking another person/people.
I don't know how many people plan it out though. There's always a place in whatever city you are in where guys go to casually hookup. There's a whole website dedicated to finding the right location for you. (lol). So, maybe you just show up and it *just happens*. Or, it *just happens* a few times. I think this is pretty much on up there with CL casual encounters.
I think I'd feel pretty low...I mean, honestly, what other signs do you need to point to you being at a critically low point. Then I'd just be worried. I somewhat admire people that do things all willy-nilly and then just are like, "Phew...another close call!" I would literally have grey hair.
So, anyway, this is why I just wonder...why can't you be in a stable relationship with someone you love and enjoy ****ing...but, then, just allow fantasies to be fantasies? It doesn't mean you can't explore those fantasies, but you don't have to put yourself in situations where you could get hurt to live them. There should be a book called Creative Solutions for the Curious Couples (I just made that up), and it should have like a catalog of crap you need for acting out your fantasies. My girlfriend had a fantasy about rape...Obviously, she doesn't want this IRL. She's also dating a guy that's pretty dominant and was interested in her fantasy. Did she go walk down the street naked until someone took advantage of her so that she could fulfill her fantasy? No. They were way more creative. (And, I was actually really impressed when she told me how the whole RP went). But, they essentially agreed that within a certain time frame, he was going to surprise her. She wouldn't even be able to know who it was or when it was going to happen. (But, obviously, she knew it would be her BF and within their time frame). But, they set it up really well and had fun with it. The thing that had me was that I was worried that in some small window of the universe, she might be forced by someone other than her boyfriend during this time frame. She told me they had a safe word. Like...seriously...it was brilliant. Kudos upon kudos to them. They were able to take a fantasy and turn it into reality without all the risks that normally occurs in that real scenario.
So, yeah...I realize everyone has fantasies. I fantasize about being with a girl...pretty handy I am dating a CD...I don't have to peruse CL for casual encounters. I am not a CD...but, I could be a convincing guy for a night, I think. I'm not sure my SO would be into that, but I guess if we got bored. So, yeah, Everyone has fantasies. What makes them a fantasy is that it's something you think about, but may make you uncomfortable in reality. So, since everyone has them...why not just get creative with your SO? It seems like the best way to play fantasy world and be in a relationship. If the OP is anything like me, she has tons of fantasies....maybe even a new one every week. What I think about today may not be the same tomorrow. It wouldn't even be possible for me to make all my fantasies realities. So, I have a creative SO. It just seems like if you want a relationship, you should find a relationship with someone you love. And, instead of looking elsewhere to make your fantasies a reality, you could look to your SO. And, the good part is if someone messes up, or if something unexpected happens...it's really funny...it may not be in reality though.
I've rambled enough. I just hope the OP finds some happy ground to land on... I think people just have to decide on their own, but I know what I do works for me and a lot of people I know...we just don't have the worries because we have enough of those already.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
You don't have to like that and still be Bi, like anything else there are different levels I guess you could say...
Yuppers
So, we all know that many CDers fantasize about having sex with men. Some are genuinely gay or bi (in which case being dressed or not wouldn't affect anything), and some are hetero. For the hetero CDers, it is the fantasy of "being" a sexually pleasing woman with a vagina who is desired by the owner of a penis that does the trick, however in real life all the other things the penis owner has is a turn-off. But in the meantime, the fantasy sure is a lot of fun.
I used to think that hetero CDers who want men only while dressed and who therefore question their sexual orientation, should just go ahead and have sex with men to determine whether they are turned off or not. I felt as if this would bring their fantasies in line with reality, and if they were married it might help them appreciate their wives more. Or if they were single, it might help them get off on the women they say they want to be with because they DO feel an emotional bond with women and not men.
But, now I wonder if these CDers don't want to or cannot give up the fantasy, even if they know they are turned off by men in the harsh light of reality. This does indicate they might have their very own sexual orientation, which is to themselves as women. The word for this is autogynephilia. Actual sex with real men turns them off and they don't feel sexual passion for hetero women (in the same way as the passion that comes with fantasizing about being a woman with a vagina who pleases a man). They're kinda stuck in a twilight zone of sexual desire.
I don't know whether autogynephilia is a fetish or it's own brand of sexual attraction. The thing is, that it makes it difficult for an autogynephile to experience the ultimate in connectedness with someone else since they can't experience both the deep emotional AND physical bond that raises that relationship above the rest. The physical bond (truly being into someone for who they are and reaching sexual climax because of it) is missing.
But, maybe my analysis is skewed because I can only look at it from a GG's point of view. Or, maybe there is a true attraction to men, but some CDers have been so severely socialized to not be gay that it is difficult to reach the core truth. Or, maybe some of these CDers are truly TS and it is not about a love of themselves as women (AGP), but they instead experience a woman's natural sexual desires, except they just don't want to go there. It's really complex, isn't it.
Reine
Nice Reine... those two sentences caught my attention in particular.
I can identify with almost all aspects of what you wrote...
Perhaps the complexity lies in the "fact" that at different times, and in different moods, one's sexual desires and preferences simply change... ?
Gaby
[SIZE="1"]When Irish Eyes Are Smiling... In the lilt of Irish laughter... When Irish hearts are happy... And When Irish Eyes Are Smiling... [/SIZE]
So...AGP always has confused me. Does it literally mean that you just become your own ideal sexual partner?...As in YOU are your own sexual orientation??
I mean, I get a guy being hetero and loving the look of a woman...he is attracted so much to the look of a woman that he becomes a woman. But, he becomes a woman through the heterosexual male perspective of putting too much emphasis on ****ty attire, big boobs, and being subservient to men. It's pretty much the stereotypical male view of a woman...it's just he becomes it.
But, is that just the end all be all of the sexual desire? It begins and ends with your own heterosexual male portrayal of a woman?
Is this even crossdressing then? Or, is it just some complicated fetish? (But, fair enough...a lot of fetishes are complicated, I think).
I mean, I guess AGP is like the sexual orientation of yourself...obviously, this is where the "auto" comes in to play. But, I don't see it the same as CDing...because, with AGP the female clothes, the boobs, the faceless male with a penis are all props in getting off on your own experience of what a man thinks women like in bed.
Idk...I guess at the end, you'd be wearing women's clothes. But, CDing seems pretty straight forward...AGP is kind of hard to wrap your head around and explain without making someone with AGP sound like they're obsessed with themselves and sexist.
If it described me, I probably wouldn't want to own up to it. However, it's so silly because no one expects fantasies to be politically correct...they would be so boring. But, if that was really the only thing that got you going (yourself), and people wanted to stamp a label on your forehead...I wouldn't own up to it either.
That's why I don't try to psychoanalyze my fantasies or try to legitimize them. Lol...I can only imagine what my forehead would say.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
Perhaps it's too deep and personal to attempt to analyze?
Although it's definitely possible to not allow yourself to find the same sex physically attractive, that I do know for a fact.
Internal struggles with physical attraction, orientation, and everything else is something I struggled with since puberty and only now am I starting to get grips on it.
Even on the inside it's extremely complicated, so I can't imagine how confused someone on the outside would feel.
This is all really new for me... especially aspects concerning AGP (and many thanks for all your valuable experience Shananigans/whowhatwhen).
Having read through most of the responses to Toni's OP in the last hour or so, I'm glad I don't worry about my own sexual orientation anymore. (That's in stark contrast to the thirty or so years as a isolated closet-Cder).
The main thing for me now is to remain open to possible developments, whatever they might be... and to try and avoid seeking answers where none can be found.
A lot has to do with chance... and the company I keep!
An item of clothing (female clothing... exclusively, by the way... that's what makes me a CDer) can excite, cheer and comfort... AND/OR turn-off, revile and frustrate me.
That's one reason, why I don't like throwing things away... and why I regret the many wasteful years needlessly spent purging...
Returning briefly to Toni's OP... yes, at long last I can admit that I like "the (whole) male body", and I do feel a certain (new) attraction to men... but that has a lot to do with me accepting and liking me... more and more... and more!
[SIZE="1"]When Irish Eyes Are Smiling... In the lilt of Irish laughter... When Irish hearts are happy... And When Irish Eyes Are Smiling... [/SIZE]
Ive been with both men and woman and l've enjoyed both experiences equally. Dressed enfem and not with both. Toys and no toys on both. I've always enjoyed just the sensation of pleasing another human and being pleased equally.
For me I am only attracted to men when I am dressed and feel like a woman. Like some others I really enjoy the one object a guy has to offer. I have tried kissing two men during different encounters but it does nothing at all for me. I do mostly only enjoy their tool and their attention to me when dressed as a woman. When not in guy mode I am attracted only to women! Geez, am I confused but it feels great while it is happening.
Last edited by Cheryl S.; 07-12-2012 at 07:15 PM.
It's difficult for me to understand because I'm not wired the same way as a birth male, my libido is sourced differently. Also, is it that moods change, or are some people in denial over being male-attracted or transsexual? An individual who is trans is complex indeed, since he or she has the anatomy & hormones of one gender and the brain gender (to varying degrees) of another. Combine this with background and personality differences and I dare say that it can make true self-awareness highly difficult, especially since we're all socialized to believe in binary gender.Nice Reine... those two sentences caught my attention in particular.
I can identify with almost all aspects of what you wrote...
Perhaps the complexity lies in the "fact" that at different times, and in different moods, one's sexual desires and preferences simply change... ?
It's the love of oneself as a woman. It's the idea that you're a sexy woman with sexy woman body parts who drives men wild that causes heights of climax, whether this is achieved solo or with someone who has a penis. There are degrees of this. I dare say that some CDers can still function with GGs and also engage in their AGP fantasies at other times, while other CDers cannot climax with GGs even though they are not attracted to men.
I don't know if it can be considered a fifth form of sexual attraction (the first four being same-sex, opposite-sex, both, or neither), or if it is a fetish.
A fetish is a sexual attraction to an object or situation that is other than just two people who reach climactic heights with one another because they're into each other.
Reine
Maybe they're just not interested in typical "straight" sex, maybe all they need is a role-reversal.
Of course finding a woman whose into that (on a permanent basis) would be one hell of a challenge.
He may just not want to use his penis for whatever reason.
I do wonder if in a straight relationship that would be a bit selfish?
This is it. Some people SAY they've accepted themselves but it's clear by the actions they report that they still have major hangups about who they may be.
When people truly accept who they are, there is no more ambiguity. No more conditional sexuality. No more excuses about what they like or do, and eventually no more secrets.
I like men only when dolled up, does this mean I am bi? Or is it somewhat more complex? Have become aroused when dressed, but the same guy when not in my woman clothes tells
me me nothing.
Last edited by ReineD; 07-14-2012 at 10:26 PM. Reason: TMI. Please read rules about no graphic sexual descriptions.
Posting Permissions
