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Thread: I'm sure it posted over and over talking to your wife

  1. #1
    Member Ashley D.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Cumming GA,

    I'm sure it posted over and over talking to your wife

    Hi, Girls

    Befor you go on pleas read my introduction.

    As I said in my introduction I lived as a woman for six months.
    But was down dressed one day and met my now wife of seven years.
    I left my life my family swept it under the rug never speaking of it.
    But now keeping back that part of my self is killing me.
    I need to tell my wife. But how.
    I havent been all man man I never stopes shaving my legs
    Will wear her night gown to bed some times wear her panties when I didn't
    Have clean boxers but still not sure how she will take it.
    Guse it's nerves but would love some in put

    Love, Ashley D.

  2. #2
    Member Kayla C's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Northern California / Folsom
    I suspect she already knows, even if your family swept it under the rug. Regardless, you must sit down with her and have the conversation before you go any further. If you really haven't dressed since you've been together now is not the time to start dressing again and hiding it. She needs to know it is part of who you are if she doesn't already. If you don't tell her now, and we know you will not be able to stop yourself, you'll be setting both of you up for heartbreak in the future. IMHO. Good luck... I hope you can work it out!

  3. #3
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Mo. Ozarks
    Be honest with her! Let her know about your pass! Let her know that this is a part of you and it's been creeping back and haunting you so you thought it might be best that she knew about it! As I said in your intro thread I hope the best for you! Hugs!
    If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Say to her that you have something that has been bothering you for a long time that you find difficult to discuss, but you really need to talk to her about it.

    Then talk about it. Be ready to answer the usual questions.

    Oh, unless she asks, don't talk about the panties. GGs are sometimes really sensitive about them and that detail is best left unspoken if possible. Please go buy your own ASAP!
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

  5. #5
    Member Lyndaloves's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    If you are wiling to let her, your wife, go then by all means tell her.
    You probably already deep inside know what her reaction will be.
    If you're not ready to be alone then maybe some counciling for you might help.
    Most of us are still in the closet, and I say most because there is probably a larger percentage that are scared to even register here or any other cd site.


  6. #6
    Mountain Lass
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Wales UK
    You don't say whether your living as a woman was part of a Real Life Experience as part of a proposed sex change or whether it was something incidental that you did. What did you work at at that time?

    What complicates this revelation is the fact that your wife has a relationship with your family members and may now feel that their silence has contributed to what she is facing.
    If you feel now that you want to transition, don't sweeten the pill. If you are going to turn all her world upside down with something more than being a cder then you need to have some answers ready.

    What will hit her hardest is not your revelation but the deception you have employed for this length of time. If you have read anything on these pages it is that many women find the deception (and the consequent re-examination of everything in their lives starting with who they are) harder to bear than the knowledge of the cding.

    You have no mitigating circumstances so don't offer any. You are only left with the truth, as you see it.

  7. #7
    Silver Member linda allen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Quote Originally Posted by Ashley D. View Post
    As I said in my introduction I lived as a woman for six months.
    But was down dressed one day and met my now wife of seven years.
    I left my life my family swept it under the rug never speaking of it.
    But now keeping back that part of my self is killing me.
    I need to tell my wife. But how. .
    Ashley, that's pretty hard to immagine. Being a crossdresser and then getting married and not telling your wife is one thing, but living full time as a woman is pretty far over the edge.

    So you were living as a woman full time, one day you were dressed as a man, met a woman, fell in love and have been married to her for several years without talking about your past.

    If you just want to tell her about your past but not go back to crossdressing, she will be shocked, but will probably get over it. If you want to go back to living as a woman, I don't see her taking it well. If you want to crossdress from time to time, she may go for it, she may not.

    The bottom line is, you have to decide for yourself if your desires are worth risking your marriage for. You know your wife better than anyone on a web forum, feel her out, try to gauge her reaction, then decide what you have to do.

    I wish you the best.
    [SIGPIC] 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Karren Hutton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    South Western PA
    Well..... you were out of the closet already and screwed up and didn't tell her before? that's as bad maybe worse than being in the closet and not telling imho.... There's no easy way.... most likely she will never trust you again for having a secret life you didn't fill her in on.... if she doesn't kick you to the curb.....
    I reject your reality and substitute my own!
    Proud member of the National Sarcasm Society... Like we need your support!!
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  9. #9
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Almost the Great White North...
    I don't think all is lost. If you're wearing panties or nighties to bed, you've obviously shared a little window into yourself. So, prepare yourself to have a conversation. It may not be easy, but its better than suffering in silence.

    Can anyone share the link that thread on how to tell your spouse? I think that would be a good place for Ashley to begin.

  10. #10
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    ne pa
    You have to tell her about your dressing. She may already have a feeling that you're a little different, women can sense these things, especially if you were able to live full-time and pass, you've got the aura.
    Sit down with her and be honest, unless you're looking to go full time again she may be somewhat accepting.

  11. #11
    John JohannaH's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Irving, TX
    I really hate reading about how one keeps it a deep and dark secret to the wife the desire and practice of wearing women's clothing. In my situation it's fun for my wife and me to wear the same sundress (sized differently) at the same time.

    I'm glad I never kept my dressing in secret. It would be devastating for your wife to come across women's clothes and think those clothes were for another woman and thinking you were unfaithful to her.

    John - Please use my legal name John. I also prefer masculine pronouns referring to myself.
    Been on M2F HRT for over 8 years
    Don't mind if I am addressed as Sir or Ma'am as long as I am treated with respect.
    Just don't call me "Maggot".

  12. #12
    Member Ashley D.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Cumming GA,
    @ Linda

    Yes at the time I was planing to live the rest of my life a woman
    And thought that was what I wanted.
    Maybe I would be happier now if I had maybe not I will never know.
    Now all I want is to spend some time as my old self agen.

    @ Eryn
    When I wear her panties she alway knows about it.

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