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Thread: Advice for a GG to have discussion about FEMME name

  1. #1
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    Advice for a GG to have discussion about FEMME name

    I need some advice.....My So Just came out into acceptance of themself in Oct. and was finally trusting in me enough to dress and have me to enjoy them in crossdress in January for the first time ...Yaaay!!!!!!.....I see that many crossdressers have femme names... I wonder If my So has a femmme name ....What advice I am seeking is how do I broach that subject w/o it being totally awkward???? Any Advice would be surely appreciated. I am tottaly accepting and and totally supportive. I am so glad my SO is no longer in pain of denying of who they are. Please help.

  2. #2
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Hey baby... what's yoooourrrrr name?
    Say it in a really cheesy voice.

  3. #3
    My Ship has sailed? Barbara Ella's Avatar
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    Just ask him. I came into my acceptance last September. Did not take a name until sometime in March.

    Approach him like...I know this is still new, but have you begun to think about a name for yourself, or is it still too early.

    If you can talk to your SO about clothes selection, the name wont be any more awkward.

    Barbara
    He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
    - Friedrich Nietzche -
    I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.

  4. #4
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    Ask him to dress for you, and once he's dressed ask her what her name is.

  5. #5
    The Girl will Out! Kaz's Avatar
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    He may have a name already... he may not... Just ask... and explore... I find having a name so helpful. I can refer to 'Kaz' knowing exactly what I am talking about and although this is an integral part of me and not some strange 'split personality', I find that it helps me to focus on this so much better. 'It'/she... has a name and has substance.

    If 'she' hasn't got a name... I would encourage you to work with him/her to develop one... it will help you both understand what is going on... it also gives you both a reference point for discussion.
    Kaz xx

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    This Woman Within is Flying without Wings

  6. #6
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    All of my previous names more or less came to me from the "blue" and seemed to fit at the time of choosing them. My name changes periodically to reflect my own evolution as a person.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  7. #7
    Trans woman BiancaEstrella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barbara Ella View Post
    Approach him like...I know this is still new, but have you begun to think about a name for yourself, or is it still too early.
    Perfect advice.

    I would add, while this conversation takes place, sort out the proper gender pronouns early too. Some don't mind/notice/care but since I occasionally venture out into public, I prefer to be called what I'm presenting as.
    "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
    Oscar Wilde

  8. #8
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    He may not have picked one. But just ask, OR ask if you can pick one for him, and make it pretty, not something that would make people think of an ugly or old person. When in doubt, pick a celebrity name of someone really beautiful.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  9. #9
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
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    If your SO is in love with you and cares about your feelings and thoughts, my suggestion is to give her a name that you like. In my past 2 long term relations and my present SO, they were the ones to give me a name. I think each one, other then the first, did not like the name I had perhaps due to the connection to my previous wives. Either that, or they just did not think the name fit or they did not like it. So without me asking them to give me a new name, they gave me a name of their choice. It made me feel closer and always made me feel more loved and accepted. If she does not like the name, she may tell you what name she is either using or one that she likes. From there you can agree on a name since the door is open.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Babeba's Avatar
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    If you want for it to be a going out name, something that is age-appropriate. 'Nevaeh' or some other modern fad name probably won't fit an adult today. Try looking for a name that is close to their boy name maybe? Or look online for the most popular names of their birth year?

  11. #11
    A California Girl Rachel Morley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babeba View Post
    If you want for it to be a going out name, something that is age-appropriate. 'Nevaeh' or some other modern fad name probably won't fit an adult today. Try looking for a name that is close to their boy name maybe? Or look online for the most popular names of their birth year?
    Good advise from Babeba ... in my first few years when I was only online or dressing at home I was called "Angel Darling" .... but as I began to go out and develop that wasn't going to work in the real world and that's when I became Rachel Morley. My wife Marla helped me pick my name. My point is, it all depends where you are going with this, but whatever you decide now can always be changed later.
    .
    The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!

  12. #12
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babeba View Post
    If you want for it to be a going out name, something that is age-appropriate. 'Nevaeh' or some other modern fad name probably won't fit an adult today. Try looking for a name that is close to their boy name maybe? Or look online for the most popular names of their birth year?
    I'm going to be the one here to disagree and be a wet blanket in general.
    Why not try a fun, interesting, or unique name?

    It's not often you get to choose your own name and if anyone is going to treat you like sh*t because of your name then they aren't worth the time of day regardless.

    I'll rip off Phoebe from Friends now:
    <---- Princess Consuela Banannahammock

  13. #13
    Member teri222's Avatar
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    Hay, just ask...."do you have a femm name" If not lets pick one...

  14. #14
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Just ask!!!!!
    She's come out to you...just be open.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  15. #15
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    I would add a bit of a wrinkle here: I would ask if she has a name she's happy with!

    This way, if she is, then she'll tell you. If not, you might then talk about maybe each making two lists of names that each of you like and see if there are overlaps!

    But do have fun with it!

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