[SIZE="4"]OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGIAMFREAKINGOUT!!![/SIZE]
I think I might have outed myself at work, which is bad since I can be fired for this. I went out en femme last night and I accidentally grabbed the waterproof mascara and put that on before realizing that I had to be at work at five this morning. I washed all my makeup off and scrubbed my face clean (including vigorously scrubbing my eyelashes) and I thought I was good to go.
I get into work this morning and my boss looks at me and says “dude, are you wearing eyeliner?”
I responded audibly “No.” which was true.
On the inside, I responded thusly: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!”
My boss looks at me and says “it looks like you’re wearing eyeliner. Why are your eyes so dark?”
Decision point: come clean and take my chances or lie my ass off and live to fight another day.
Analysis: I have no money saved and no exit strategy, so I can’t afford to get fired right now.
Final answer: bring on the bulls***!
“What do you want from me, I’m really tired. I got all of two hours of sleep and I have bags.”
“Okay, it really looks like you have eyeliner on.”
“Do I look like the kind of dude who wears eyeliner? [I don’t]"
Now, It’s clear by the look on his face that he doesn’t believe the BS I fed him and he already thinks I’m wearing makeup. He knows I’m lying to him and he thinks he knows what I’m lying about. I have to fess up to lying, but with another equally innocent story that’s just crazy enough to be true. Fortunately, I have just the story.
I excuse myself and go to the restroom to try to scrub the junk off. No such luck. This stuff is bulletproof! If it weren’t a sturdy bag of horsecrap and a hair’s breadth from costing me my job, I’d be very impressed with the stuff. I go back to my workstation, which is located right next to my boss’, and I ask to speak to him.
“Look, I haven’t been entirely forthcoming with you about this. Back in 2008 when I was living in San Diego, I went to this one really nice salon to get my hair cut. My stylist recommended that I dye my eyelashes to bring out the color of my eyes [this part is entirely, 100% true]. I did it and it worked wonders [also true]. I got it done last night and I forgot that the dye sometimes runs and can stain your eyelids for a couple of days after the treatment [less-than-honest].”
“Oh! Really? They do that? Hahahaha! I thought you were running around wearing makeup! Oh, God, you can’t make that s*** up!”
“no kidding…”
Anyway, everyone at work made fun of me for wearing makeup and having smoky eyes the rest of the day (it’s their way, and it was all good-natured). In fact, one of my coworkers even said “I don’t care, so long as you’re not crossdressing… I mean, even then…”
“uh huh.”
Decision point: test the waters with everyone’s tolerance and loyalty, or take it like an asshat for the rest of the day.
Analysis: if I play it right, I can do this in such a way that people just think I’m fed up with their nonsense.
Final answer: let’s do it!
I furrowed my brow in faux frustration and growled “Yeah, and what if I was?”
[silence from all three of my coworkers, boss is not present at this time]
The lone GG of the group speaks up and says “Then you should just say so!”
“Even if I were, I couldn’t unless I wanted to get kicked out. You can still get sent home for that.”
The black dude says “Man, I wouldn’t care…”
The older white dude says “well… Don’t wear a wig to the office.”
And nobody talked about it any further through the day. The GG knows for sure, I’m pretty sure the older white guy has a good idea, the black guy probably knows, but the real test will be my next shift. I’ll know if they know tomorrow.
I really can’t afford to get fired right now…
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:
Originally Posted by LeannL
You will become stronger in the ways of the Pink Fog. May the Pink Fog guide you and be with you now and forever.
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