Underdressing and Transsexualism/GID

[Anna Lorree]

Well since we are all proving our stupid "manly" behaviors, here is one of mine.

[elizabethamy]

I sold the Harley to pay for my pretty face and my parasol blew away in the wind.

You got a really good deal on that Harley, April!

[LeaP]

Well since we are all proving our stupid "manly" behaviors, here is one of mine.

I tried that one - both my grandfather and great grandfather were firefighters. Put in for it, but my wife shot it down.

On the other hand we both ride HDs.

[Anna Lorree]

I tried that one - both my grandfather and great grandfather were firefighters. Put in for it, but my wife shot it down.

On the other hand we both ride HDs.

I started as a volunteer, then went paid. It has been a good career and has provided for my family very nicely, but I know now that it was compensation for me. I'm to the point that I want out, so I am back in school. I wish I could just quit doing it, but there are bills to pay.

Anna

[Pink Person]

Sigh…Double sigh. I don't have the energy to respond to everything that I read on this site that annoys me. If I did then my post count would be approaching a much larger number.

In short, as indicated previously, I don't believe that crossdressing is ever just about the clothes…or sex…or pretending…or feeling a tiny naughty tingle. NEVER. NEVER EVER. People who crossdress have similar, not the same, core issues that TS people have. The matrix of gender variation is shaded from top to bottom with some common causes. The preposterous posturing by every subgroup to deny even a remote relationship to any other subgroup is depressingly stupid, in my opinion.

I would say to any TS or TG person that it doesn't matter when you started dressing to fit your self-identified gender. Just do it, have fun with it, there's nothing wrong with it, no matter what anyone else tells you.

[Angela Campbell]

Other than wearing panties, I guess underdressing does little for me. I feel like it is halfway...like getting a salad and only eating the dressing. Not sure why I always wear the panties though it doesn't make me feel different in fact once dressed I don't even think about it. Then again when dressed completely as a woman I really do not think about the bra I am wearing, I really do not notice it much.For me it is the complete package or nothing as far as clothes go. In my mind I am a woman at all times even though I look like a ...yuchhh ...man. When around family I really have to work at my posture and mannerisms so I don't raise too many eyebrows. I have never been very macho or anything but sometimes when alone I look at myself and the way I am sitting and notice it is very girly, and remind myself to be careful if my family is around.It is kind of funny looking back for years I have been told by GGs many times how nice my eyebrows or eyelashes looked (no makeup) They never knew how good that made me feel.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Thanks Ladies! You are terrific!

I was purposefully vague in my OP because I didn’t want this to be a “here is what I think, do you agree with me” thread. I really appreciate your honest input and I’ll tell you where I’m coming from.

First, my problem solving technique is to research the crap out of the problem I am trying to resolve. I have read a bushel of books on transgender including a number of memoirs of women who have transitioned. I have read a lot of threads online and talked to a number of women who have experienced some degree of GID. There seems to be a common theme that the vast majority of women who identify as transsexual have dressed as women sometime during their lives and by crossdressING (the act, not the identity) they have gotten some relief from their GID. For some, the relief was momentary and they felt even more miserable afterwards. Others were able to continue in a male/female situation for years. None had mentioned underdressing.

I look at my own situation being on the “middle path” or “bigendered.” I am still “uncomfortably masculine” more often than I would like to be. (I get that some of you don’t get this – it is what it is.) I’ve tried a few things, touchstones so to speak, that carry me over the times that I have to be in drab. I dress a little more androgynously and wear some light makeup. That helps a little. What did absolutely nothing for me was underdressing and I don’t get it. It would seem that the small doses of femininity that carry me through the dry times would logically include underdressing but it provided no relief whatsoever. Thinking about it, and totally pulling this out of thin air, I wonder if the fact that it is concealed makes it seem like a step back into the closet to me? I don’t know. Maybe just my crazy variant on this trans crap and nothing more!

Anyway, thanks again for your input.
Debby

Who knows whether its your gender that is fluid, or your "awareness" of your gender that is fluid.

Since this is an identity "disorder", its a heated debate.. transsexuals have to fight for their identity, and i admit i see posts where its pretty obvious to me (altho i could be wrong) that the person is kind of just wanting to say they are transsexual...in my mind, i'm not just thinking "no, you are not", i'm thinking "how dare you!...do you know what we go through?!?!?!"... that's just how it feels... pls don't freak out, i realize that i can't possibly know what's going in a persons mind, i realize that i have no right to tell another person they are or aren't anything...i realize i shouldn't even care!! i'm just sharing how it feels, and i think my thought process illustrates why sometimes things here get out of hand..

specifically to your point Debby, your experience is very consistent with transsexual people that are slowly "realizing" that their dressing behaviour (i like how you put it.."ING") is about much more than dressing, and just to refer to my first sentence, the issue for you is deciding what exactly that means..and whether thinking of yourself as bi-gendered is about what is basically your male identity wanting to share himself with a female side (or identity), or is it the conflict between your conscious thoughts about what is obvious (you were born as a male!!) and the conflict with what you also know (...but i am female!!!).. only you can answer that question!! and unfortunately its a brutal question, fraught with noise that makes it harder to answer

as best i can tell from here, it seems like you are being smart and gathering information without being emotional about it...and this means the good news is that over time, like many answers to tough questions, the answer will simply "become apparent"

[Badtranny]

...do you know what we go through?!?!?!"...

Yep, everybody is so certain that THEIR situation is so much different. They live in the most conservative place, they have the most redneck family, they have the most masculine job, we just don't understand. It was easy for us, but it's so much more difficult for them.

It's not easy for ANY of us to do, but it's SUPER easy to talk about. Or to wear secret panties on "man" days.

[elizabethamy]

..do you know what we go through?!?!?!"...

The "who has it tougher" game could wear out anyone! Last weekend I was nearly out of my mind suffering over whether/how much/what will I do about it/ levels of TS-ness, and feeling mighty sorry for myself as I considered the limited range of sucky options. Then I met a couple who had BOTH had to quit their full time jobs and their very promising, brilliant careers, so that each could work part time to pay the bills and work more than full time taking care of their very sweet, but very disabled autistic child. So...there's sacrifice and suffering in all kinds of ways...and this sad young couple, bravely carrying on, has it better than millions who are starving. A little perspective goes a long way. What do you think of this color of nail polish? Too pink?

elizabethamy

[LeaP]

People who crossdress have similar, not the same, core issues that TS people have. The matrix of gender variation is shaded from top to bottom with some common causes. The preposterous posturing by every subgroup to deny even a remote relationship to any other subgroup is depressingly stupid, in my opinion.

I don't so much disagree with you as I question the value of the similarities. Some of the categories of similarities appear to be deep waters (e.g., the psychological struggle to find your identity), but once you get past the surface the similarities actually turn out to be fairly superficial because so many of the real-world implications are radically different.

Interestingly, the tables are turned with some implications. Consider relationship issues. Both CDs and TSs have them. The real-world implications are often identical (e.g., divorce). But the rationale is not (SRS and lesbian relationships vs. spousal perceptions of behavior in the CD case). So, different pattern ... still not much common cause.

One might plead the real differences off by abstracting up, e.g., "but it's all about an additional, competing woman in the relationship" (or some such). To which I say BS.

So what you get instead is the political plea - hang together or hang separately. Numbers matter. And even coalition politics turns out to be a problem for TSs, who get the short end of the stick - every time.

[Elizabeth]

That needs to be engraved in granite taken from Yosemite National Park since the OP is from California.

When I walk into the house, I can not rip my bra off fact enough.

Did I ever under-dress which I assume the OP is referring to wearing panties or some other intimate female clothing item(s)l? Nope! I simply went from male clothes one day to woman's clothes the next and have worn woman's clothes 24/7 ever since.

I just got home from the store and the first thing I did was use the potty, but the second thing I did was take my bra off. Laff.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Debglam]

Wow! Surprised to see this thread rise from the dead. . . and up to 5 pages!

As the OP, I will say thanks again for all of your input. I think this all proves that we are individuals and our individual paths are different - what works for one may not work for another. BUT!!!!! I will make a bet, that when someday they figure out what makes us trans that it will prove Pink Person's point (and others) that we are all birds of a feather and that this stuff is all connected in some way. Just IMHO.

Thanks again,
Debby

No fighting!