Well since we are all proving our stupid "manly" behaviors, here is one of mine.
Well since we are all proving our stupid "manly" behaviors, here is one of mine.
"If you're going through Hell, keep going."
-Winston Churchill
I started as a volunteer, then went paid. It has been a good career and has provided for my family very nicely, but I know now that it was compensation for me. I'm to the point that I want out, so I am back in school. I wish I could just quit doing it, but there are bills to pay.
Anna
"If you're going through Hell, keep going."
-Winston Churchill
Sigh…Double sigh. I don't have the energy to respond to everything that I read on this site that annoys me. If I did then my post count would be approaching a much larger number.
In short, as indicated previously, I don't believe that crossdressing is ever just about the clothes…or sex…or pretending…or feeling a tiny naughty tingle. NEVER. NEVER EVER. People who crossdress have similar, not the same, core issues that TS people have. The matrix of gender variation is shaded from top to bottom with some common causes. The preposterous posturing by every subgroup to deny even a remote relationship to any other subgroup is depressingly stupid, in my opinion.
I would say to any TS or TG person that it doesn't matter when you started dressing to fit your self-identified gender. Just do it, have fun with it, there's nothing wrong with it, no matter what anyone else tells you.
Other than wearing panties, I guess underdressing does little for me. I feel like it is halfway...like getting a salad and only eating the dressing. Not sure why I always wear the panties though it doesn't make me feel different in fact once dressed I don't even think about it. Then again when dressed completely as a woman I really do not think about the bra I am wearing, I really do not notice it much.For me it is the complete package or nothing as far as clothes go. In my mind I am a woman at all times even though I look like a ...yuchhh ...man. When around family I really have to work at my posture and mannerisms so I don't raise too many eyebrows. I have never been very macho or anything but sometimes when alone I look at myself and the way I am sitting and notice it is very girly, and remind myself to be careful if my family is around.It is kind of funny looking back for years I have been told by GGs many times how nice my eyebrows or eyelashes looked (no makeup) They never knew how good that made me feel.
Who knows whether its your gender that is fluid, or your "awareness" of your gender that is fluid.
Since this is an identity "disorder", its a heated debate.. transsexuals have to fight for their identity, and i admit i see posts where its pretty obvious to me (altho i could be wrong) that the person is kind of just wanting to say they are transsexual...in my mind, i'm not just thinking "no, you are not", i'm thinking "how dare you!...do you know what we go through?!?!?!"... that's just how it feels... pls don't freak out, i realize that i can't possibly know what's going in a persons mind, i realize that i have no right to tell another person they are or aren't anything...i realize i shouldn't even care!! i'm just sharing how it feels, and i think my thought process illustrates why sometimes things here get out of hand..
specifically to your point Debby, your experience is very consistent with transsexual people that are slowly "realizing" that their dressing behaviour (i like how you put it.."ING") is about much more than dressing, and just to refer to my first sentence, the issue for you is deciding what exactly that means..and whether thinking of yourself as bi-gendered is about what is basically your male identity wanting to share himself with a female side (or identity), or is it the conflict between your conscious thoughts about what is obvious (you were born as a male!!) and the conflict with what you also know (...but i am female!!!).. only you can answer that question!! and unfortunately its a brutal question, fraught with noise that makes it harder to answer
as best i can tell from here, it seems like you are being smart and gathering information without being emotional about it...and this means the good news is that over time, like many answers to tough questions, the answer will simply "become apparent"
Yep, everybody is so certain that THEIR situation is so much different. They live in the most conservative place, they have the most redneck family, they have the most masculine job, we just don't understand. It was easy for us, but it's so much more difficult for them.
It's not easy for ANY of us to do, but it's SUPER easy to talk about. Or to wear secret panties on "man" days.
The "who has it tougher" game could wear out anyone! Last weekend I was nearly out of my mind suffering over whether/how much/what will I do about it/ levels of TS-ness, and feeling mighty sorry for myself as I considered the limited range of sucky options. Then I met a couple who had BOTH had to quit their full time jobs and their very promising, brilliant careers, so that each could work part time to pay the bills and work more than full time taking care of their very sweet, but very disabled autistic child. So...there's sacrifice and suffering in all kinds of ways...and this sad young couple, bravely carrying on, has it better than millions who are starving. A little perspective goes a long way. What do you think of this color of nail polish? Too pink?
elizabethamy
I don't so much disagree with you as I question the value of the similarities. Some of the categories of similarities appear to be deep waters (e.g., the psychological struggle to find your identity), but once you get past the surface the similarities actually turn out to be fairly superficial because so many of the real-world implications are radically different.
Interestingly, the tables are turned with some implications. Consider relationship issues. Both CDs and TSs have them. The real-world implications are often identical (e.g., divorce). But the rationale is not (SRS and lesbian relationships vs. spousal perceptions of behavior in the CD case). So, different pattern ... still not much common cause.
One might plead the real differences off by abstracting up, e.g., "but it's all about an additional, competing woman in the relationship" (or some such). To which I say BS.
So what you get instead is the political plea - hang together or hang separately. Numbers matter. And even coalition politics turns out to be a problem for TSs, who get the short end of the stick - every time.
Lea
Wow! Surprised to see this thread rise from the dead. . . and up to 5 pages!
As the OP, I will say thanks again for all of your input. I think this all proves that we are individuals and our individual paths are different - what works for one may not work for another. BUT!!!!! I will make a bet, that when someday they figure out what makes us trans that it will prove Pink Person's point (and others) that we are all birds of a feather and that this stuff is all connected in some way. Just IMHO.
Thanks again,
Debby
No fighting!
Debby