The REALITY of passing?

[Badtranny]

Watch those swinging balls

I don't have any, but I sure wouldn't mind watching some. Up close.

[AllieSF]

Since I am a late starter I don't remember ever seeing a CD before I started, i.e. that means if I ever saw one or more before, I do not remember it because it was not important to me. Now that I am dressing and going out all the time, my "Tdar" is now up and working. Living in the San Francisco area, I now see some every once in awhile. I think that the lack of overall sitings may be due to the fact that even though there are a lot of CD's and TS's on this planet, not many of them, especially on the CD side, are really out there to ever be seen. For me that is a good sign that more of us should be out there at every opportunity that we have.

[noeleena]

Hi,

In our community of under 5,000 people iv yet to see any dressers or trans, im involved with many people here the groups im a member of is a 1000,

Our next town has Oamaru, 1 / 2 an hour away 15,000 people iv heard of two. next town Timaru 1 / 2 an hour away as well 38,000, i know of one dresser heard of two trans & an other two dressers,,

This is over 15 years, & im quite well known in all three towns.

Of cause that does not mean to say there are none , just they are not out there & i have friends who know me & will let me know if they wont to make contact.

The other side i dont know of any other intersexed like my self, & im well known & seen. In the Papers net & T V

...noeleena...,

[linda allen]

I saw a woman once in a CVS in the mall who I'm quite sure was a crossdresser. She was asking for makeup help at the counter and the young girl working there wasn't giving any. This was many years ago, before the popularity of the Intenet, youtube, etc.

I've seen one or two women in public who might have been crossdressers, but being one myself, I'm not going to be so rude as to stare or follow them.

[Sophie_C]

People at these Forums often allude to spotting other CDers [men] "dressed as women" out in the RW. Or people you THINK might be CDers. I am only asking about men going the whole nine yards - wigs, makeup and clothing. They are doing their BEST to blend in and not be noticed. Let's just leave out people wearing very short skirts, 5 or 6 inch heels or purple hair. Clothing most would consider to be screaming for attention.

I have never noticed even ONE person in my sixty years on the planet and I think I am at least as observant as most people which brings about a few questions.

1] Are you actually LOOKING for them when out in public no matter which mode you are dressed in/as?

2] Maybe it is the place or places you are "looking" for them? Particular bars, etc.?

3] Or maybe SOMEthing gave them away? You had cause to speak to them perhaps or they were wobbling around on 2" heels?

I just find it odd that I have yet to "spot" a CDer. I think living in Florida where major skin is displayed 9 or 10 months out of the year might have something to do with it. So many body shapes and sizes of every imagineable "ratio" constantly on display.

I DO happen to know a GG with a very deep masculine voice. I am guessing most people in a tele conversation with her might not be able to tell she is female from her voice alone.

Hello wild, not to be hard on you, but just because you can't clock TS/TV/CD/TG people, doesn't mean the vast majority of the world can. The only people I believe with a RARE chance of truly "passing" are those who transition fully prior to puberty, having no testosterone ravage their body, and even with that, it's maybe a 50/50 chance. Even the youngest transitioner in the world, Kim Petras, has something a bit odd about her jawline.

Why so? Because hormones affect every inch/cm of your body, from your head to your toes, and every day you have hormones that are changing it to look the opposite of what you're attempting to present, these subtle differences stand out in every person's minds, since as human beings, our minds are evolved to tell the difference in genders, even at up to nearly half a mile away.

Now, most people are too much into their own selves and their own lives to care, and society has come a long way, hence the reason most people don't register every person who crosses them on the street, and even if they do, they more often exhibit tolerance (or just don't want to make the effort otherwise), but that doesn't change a thing I said.

I'm going to quote what I posted before to wrap up the rest of it. Please watch the video:

ClosetCD, you're really not taking the right perspective on this. For most girls to truly pass (especially from an OCD-perspective), you need to either (A) fully transition pre-puberty, or (B) have tons of work done, including some FFS. And, even with that, there may be unchangeable things like hand size which you can't undo. So, unless you're willing to go all the way, accept that you'll be read as a "tranny" and just own it. Don't apologize, just be yourself, feminine as you are, and as open and educational as ever.

I really wish "My Transsexual Summer" was fully online, but the episode where they go to the pub is the BEST example I have ever seen of doing this right. When they go out, Donna Whitbread just owns it, tells people about being trans, rocks it out, is funny and by the end of the night even the old timers are happy and having a great time with her. THAT'S how you handle it, and that's how everything is best. Here's something that's a close second, an example of where they go bowling on the same show, and she did it pretty much in the same spirit:

So, really, the REALITY of "passing" is that it's extraordinarily hard, if not impossible for most people. It is definitely 100% impossible for those people who aren't under some hormone regiment. Andrej Pejic and Kyle Farmery are the best any crossdresser can achieve, and that's with being rail-thin and lucky genetics, and still isn't "passable".

But, so what? Who cares? If you're honest and yourself, and honest to everyone around you, they won't either. OWN IT, be fine with being know as a "tranny." People are more and more aware of it and curious about it these days, than ever. And, you will find that this honesty goes a long way.

[Marleena]

Yes I believe it's totally possible, just extremely difficult to get there.

Passing 100% is like my Mt Midoriyami. Seemingly impossible but totally doable with enough effort and commitment. I believe I'm roughly a year away from my goal and I'm optimistic if not patient.

If anybody can do it you can Melissa! Judging by your avatar and postive outlook you're well on your way.


@ OP I never used to look for other Cder's but now that I'm taking this more serious I have seen a few. I only knew they were because I know the visual cues. One was obvious since she is most likely schizophrenic and living in a group home. Her appearance is dishevelled and she carries a doll as a child and walks the streets in a confused manner. I saw a very well dressed girl at our casino. She was very well dressed but tall, that caused me to take a better look. I saw a bit of a beard shadow that confirmed it. However she looked very good and I doubt if anybody else read her they would feel threatened or awkward around her.

[Violetgray]

So, really, the REALITY of "passing" is that it's extraordinarily hard, if not impossible for most people. It is definitely 100% impossible for those people who aren't under some hormone regiment.

Nope. Not true. I've known quite a few people who passed before hormones. Heck, I knew a woman who passed as a man who wasn't even trying to transition. And EVERYONE assumed she was a man.

[Sophie_C]

Nope. Not true. I've known quite a few people who passed before hormones. Heck, I knew a woman who passed as a man who wasn't even trying to transition. And EVERYONE assumed she was a man.

Ok, there are things in what you said:

This is the M2F forum, not the F2M forum. I've seen transmen and just severely butch women approach passability as looking very boy-ish, but that's an entirely different subject. There are ways to rock that look and pull it off better.

[Stephenie S]

But sweeties,

You don't SEE the ones who do pass 100%. They just fade into the woodwork. No body sees the ones who just blend into society.

[Badtranny]

Nope. Not true. I've known quite a few people who passed before hormones.

Well I just love Violet, but I'm afraid I have to agree with Sophie. For those that are not genetically gifted (tiny percentage which apparently includes Violet) it is indeed very difficult to pass. 90% of the people on this forum who have posted pics don't even pass in their pics!

Sophie is articulating this issue nicely, but there is nothing wrong with trying. It is always good to be the best you can be and keep getting better.

Passing as a GG for an MtF takes a full commitment. and I am talking about 100% here so in my mind, getting read once a week or even once a month is too much. (for a full timer)

[Marleena]

But sweeties,

You don't SEE the ones who do pass 100%. They just fade into the woodwork. No body sees the ones who just blend into society.

I can only wish, it must be a great feeling.

[Kaz]

But sweeties,

You don't SEE the ones who do pass 100%. They just fade into the woodwork. No body sees the ones who just blend into society.

I have been looking for 'us' for a few years... it is about learning... I have spotted some, but then I have spotted some 'maybe's'. I like to think that my radar is finely tuned as i 'know' what to look for... but yeah, maybe some get below the radar.

I have had days when I have not noticed anything and others when I think I have... the latter worry me to hell and I go off in a tailspin! But Melissa is also on the case... even if we fully transition, it is still a problem. We are not true genetic females and we have missed out on some pretty important formative stages in early childhood and through puberty that are so so important.

Yeah I want to pass... do I? I have some good pics to cheer myself up, but in reality? Maybe the game is about acceptance after all... the movie clip (and the series) 'My Transsexual Summer' was very inspirational, if at times unnerving!

[Cheryl T]

My wife and I were at a large local mall one Saturday shopping (I was dressed). As we strolled about I nudged her and said, "Did you see 'her'?". She asked who I meant and I told her the CD with her wife/gf that just passed us. She was oblivious to her even though she was quite obvious to me. Other people seemed not to notice which just goes to show that you don't have to "pass" to be out and about.
There were tell tale signs that I suppose are much more apparent to those of us that know.
I don't go out of my way to places that would be open to us to see other girls, but when I'm out at any time I am observing. If I see someone I won't say anything, but I will take notice. I love to see what others are wearing, their total look and their mannerisms. It is all part of my observations that help me "blend in".

[Patrice_CD]

My wife and I had visited a new church one Sunday morning and something caught my eye of one particular girl. She did pass and very well I might add but there was something about her. I kept looking at her through the service and I thought I saw her adams apple while singing and then her hands seemed to be a bit large. I wanted to walk up to her but since I was a guest I didn't. Plus that would have been rude. We have not been back to that church so I guess I'll never know.

I get lots of compliments on my mannerisms and the way I look, from friends who know me. Am I read by those who don't? I'm sure I am now and then but mostly not. My GG friends I'm out with tell me if I am read it's because I did something as my appearance doesn't shed a clue. Very rarely do I get second looks while out and about. I do dress for where I am and time of day. I even get called maam while in male mode. Last night was a prime example. My wife and I are with friends at a restaurant and when our server was taking our drink orders, she looked at me and said, "What can I get you maam?"

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="4"]Before dressing myself, I don't think I ever "made" a CD. Didn't even know there were such people. Even dated a gal who had transitioned and didn't know until she told me. After that, I could see all the "man features" I hadn't noticed before. Just wasn't looking, I guess. Maybe it takes one to know one.

I think that most men just dismiss CDs as homely girls with deep voices and move on. They do seem to notice our legs and boobs though!

Wasn't it Lincoln who said something about fooling some of the people all the time and all of the people some of the time, but not being able to fool all the people all the time.[/SIZE]

[Wildaboutheels]

I may be wrong but I am getting the distinct impression that most here ARE looking for other CDers when out and about. I am guessing for many it is an entirely unconscious process. Unless you need to interact with someone, why would anyone deserve more than a first glance? UNLESS they are wearing something tacky, ill fitting, or is of some wild color or pattern?

Or, look extraordinarily good in something? Not very likely is it?

[kellycan27]

I must be oblivious, preoccupied or just plain looking past people. I can't remember the last time I clocked someone and I am out there quite a bit and I am in LA. ( San Francisco South). Passing 100% of the time is a lofty goal... The thing about passing is that the better one looks, the more scrutiny they are going to be under. In other words.. a good looking woman is going to garner more looks, stares and attention than say the more average woman, and unless one can pull it off flawlessly they are going to get clocked at one time or another. This is especially true when it comes to men. There are a lot of men out there that will not only look at, but will approach a woman that they find attractive. Passing is even more difficult when it's right there up close and personal. Men are notorious "girl watchers" , and they check you out from stem to stern.

Kel

[Rebecca Star]

Generally the giveaway has been height and masculine features. That leads to a second glance where other things stand out.

If I see a tall girl (6 foot or over) when I'm out and about, I always take a second look. Not because I'm wondering if she's a CD etc...etc but the fact she differs from the norm. Though with the height of fashion (party) heels these days, a lot omre girls are looking taller...hmmm

[Bizarre Suzanne]

One can occasionally spot a CD out in public, but I have been with a few who were so good one couldn't tell unless one were very close. I wouldn't pass, simply because of my particular costume interests (fetish) and the makeup (****)...but I adore it...love the look, feel, and scent of it all! As one might imagine, I don't dress to pass...couldn't anyway given that...so I only dress indoors at home these days...have never been out to my groups dressed, altho I do know I'd be accepted...for who and what I really am...

[BLUE ORCHID]

Being a lifelong Crossdresser when ever I'm out I study people especially ladies to look at their dress and makeup style.
I've seen a few CD's out there in my lifetime

[gender_blender]

IMHO nobody passes 100% of the time even if they are TS and have had FFS.

I disagree with this statement completely. It depends on the person, how early female hormones were introduced into a male body and natural features. I started pretty early, never had body hair, and pass easily most of the time without makeup, but then again I'm not TS nor have I had surgery. It's difficult, but can be done.

[Marleena]

I disagree with this statement completely. It depends on the person, how early female hormones were introduced into a male body and natural features. I started pretty early, never had body hair, and pass easily most of the time without makeup, but then again I'm not TS nor have I had surgery. It's difficult, but can be done.

I was already corrected on this, thanks.

Scroll down a bit.

[audreyinalbany]

I know how stupid this sounds, but I've spotted a few cd's IRL in the past, but only if they are obviously male. Usually the thing that draws attention is the clothes---skirts too short, heels too high. I've never spotted (for absolutely sure) a cd who was trying to blend. I mean, I've run across a few 'women' who seemed awfully manly, but I just assumed they were women who were awfully manly, not cd's trying to blend. Maybe I was wrong, but , you know, never to the point where I was 100% "THAT'S A GUY"

[xdressed]

I've seen a couple of crossdressers who weren't inappropriately dressed at all, but were just simply had undeniably masculine body shapes. That's only 2 in the 20 years I've been alive that I can remember though. My mum used to work in a bank and she's mentioned countless times how a crossdresser has come in and she's read them instantly. She even said they must have real balls to go out like that lol

[Eryn]

My wife and I had visited a new church one Sunday morning and something caught my eye of one particular girl. She did pass and very well I might add but there was something about her. I kept looking at her through the service and I thought I saw her adams apple while singing...

Adam's apples are not a sure indicator of gender. Many men don't have one and some women do have one.

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/women-adams-apples