The REALITY of passing?

[Wildaboutheels]

People at these Forums often allude to spotting other CDers [men] "dressed as women" out in the RW. Or people you THINK might be CDers. I am only asking about men going the whole nine yards - wigs, makeup and clothing. They are doing their BEST to blend in and not be noticed. Let's just leave out people wearing very short skirts, 5 or 6 inch heels or purple hair. Clothing most would consider to be screaming for attention.

I have never noticed even ONE person in my sixty years on the planet and I think I am at least as observant as most people which brings about a few questions.

1] Are you actually LOOKING for them when out in public no matter which mode you are dressed in/as?

2] Maybe it is the place or places you are "looking" for them? Particular bars, etc.?

3] Or maybe SOMEthing gave them away? You had cause to speak to them perhaps or they were wobbling around on 2" heels?

I just find it odd that I have yet to "spot" a CDer. I think living in Florida where major skin is displayed 9 or 10 months out of the year might have something to do with it. So many body shapes and sizes of every imagineable "ratio" constantly on display.

I DO happen to know a GG with a very deep masculine voice. I am guessing most people in a tele conversation with her might not be able to tell she is female from her voice alone.

[Marleena]

IMHO nobody passes 100% of the time even if they are TS and have had FFS.

Don't judge the girls by the picture gallery. Most are all dolled up and made to look sexy. My recent set would be ready to go to an upscale restaurant etc. not a mall. Most try to blend in the real world so it's usually dressed down. Keep in mind many of the girls go to clubs that the average person won't go to (gay clubs, TG bars, etc.) Keep looking I've seen some Cder's out there.

[Stephenie S]

"IMHO nobody passes 100% of the time even if they are TS and have had FFS."

But you don't see those who do. There are several on this forum, actually.

S

[Karren H]

hell most people have hard time just passing as humans......

[marny]

hell most people have hard time just passing as humans......

still hilarious

[NathalieX66]

still hilarious

Yeah, right, eh?

I can pass for the most part because I'm 5'6" , and peoples' radar is off me.

But at the same time, I feel some folk are so scared to judge whether I am a man or a woman, that they let it slide and don't judge. They are simply being nice and courteous so they don't accidentally offend me.
On the other hand, some people seem so oblivious and seriously stupid and blind that they have no idea that the person they were talking to is a guy. I've had that happen often.
I like that.

[Marleena]

"IMHO nobody passes 100% of the time even if they are TS and have had FFS."

But you don't see those who do. There are several on this forum, actually.

S

Nice..I have seen "I got read comments". So it is possible for 100% passability. I learned something today.

[Badtranny]

Nice..I have seen "I got read comments". So it is possible for 100% passability. I learned something today.

Yes I believe it's totally possible, just extremely difficult to get there.

Passing 100% is like my Mt Midoriyami. Seemingly impossible but totally doable with enough effort and commitment. I believe I'm roughly a year away from my goal and I'm optimistic if not patient.

[Lorileah]

Passing 100% is like my Mt Midoriyami.

American Ninja TS Watch those swinging balls

[Marleena]

Yes I believe it's totally possible, just extremely difficult to get there.

Passing 100% is like my Mt Midoriyami. Seemingly impossible but totally doable with enough effort and commitment. I believe I'm roughly a year away from my goal and I'm optimistic if not patient.

If anybody can do it you can Melissa! Judging by your avatar and postive outlook you're well on your way.


@ OP I never used to look for other Cder's but now that I'm taking this more serious I have seen a few. I only knew they were because I know the visual cues. One was obvious since she is most likely schizophrenic and living in a group home. Her appearance is dishevelled and she carries a doll as a child and walks the streets in a confused manner. I saw a very well dressed girl at our casino. She was very well dressed but tall, that caused me to take a better look. I saw a bit of a beard shadow that confirmed it. However she looked very good and I doubt if anybody else read her they would feel threatened or awkward around her.

[gender_blender]

IMHO nobody passes 100% of the time even if they are TS and have had FFS.

I disagree with this statement completely. It depends on the person, how early female hormones were introduced into a male body and natural features. I started pretty early, never had body hair, and pass easily most of the time without makeup, but then again I'm not TS nor have I had surgery. It's difficult, but can be done.

[Marleena]

I disagree with this statement completely. It depends on the person, how early female hormones were introduced into a male body and natural features. I started pretty early, never had body hair, and pass easily most of the time without makeup, but then again I'm not TS nor have I had surgery. It's difficult, but can be done.

I was already corrected on this, thanks.

Scroll down a bit.

[audreyinalbany]

I know how stupid this sounds, but I've spotted a few cd's IRL in the past, but only if they are obviously male. Usually the thing that draws attention is the clothes---skirts too short, heels too high. I've never spotted (for absolutely sure) a cd who was trying to blend. I mean, I've run across a few 'women' who seemed awfully manly, but I just assumed they were women who were awfully manly, not cd's trying to blend. Maybe I was wrong, but , you know, never to the point where I was 100% "THAT'S A GUY"

[xdressed]

I've seen a couple of crossdressers who weren't inappropriately dressed at all, but were just simply had undeniably masculine body shapes. That's only 2 in the 20 years I've been alive that I can remember though. My mum used to work in a bank and she's mentioned countless times how a crossdresser has come in and she's read them instantly. She even said they must have real balls to go out like that lol

[Jenniferathome]

I believe men are generally less observant than women. This would explain why I can't find something in a drawer that my wife can easily retrieve. My wife has told me of serval occasions where she saw a crossdresser. I have Noticed other crossdressers only on two occasions I can recall. They were dressed appropriately and yet quite unmistakable as men.

The fact that you haven't seen any others out in the world might be explained by sheer probability, there are few of us and even fewer venture out and observation skills.

[Lorileah]

I believe men are generally less observant than women

Usually unless it is a car or boat or sporting event I know that at least twice at the mall my GF noticed a celebrity and I totally missed it. One was John Elway! How could I miss that!?!

I agree in real life men have an agenda. A mission and looking for CDers isn't on the list. 'We" notice more discrepancies because we are tuned. I have seen CDs out in public. Usually it is something small that grabs my attention (usually the fearful prey attitude where they are all hunkered down and and eyes darting and walking as fast as they can). Men and women come in all sorts of different packages. Unless it is something blatant, we all have our own agenda and unless someone interferes with our agenda we don't really care.

[Jacqueline Winona]

I don't think many of us pass very often, and agree with Kim, assuming people are paying attention. I'm not one who pays a lot of attention to people in public spaces, I'm usually in too much of a hurry or am busy thinking about something else to notice much about anyone. I have noticed CD's many times, usually it's not just one thing, but rather the feeling that something is a little different about that gal that gives it away, whether its the jaw, facial structure, wig riding too high or low, shoudlers, etc. It's just really hard for a CD to overcome everything about natural body or facical structure.

[Kate Simmons]

Oh yeah, I've seen 'em but don't pay it much mind.The truth is I have a kind of built in "CDar" as I'm empathic and can receive feelings from others. Not to mention body movements, facial expressions and gestures and mannerisms, not even talking about voice.To most observers it doesn't seem to be an issue anyway, other that the occasional chuckle or knowing smile.

[almisami]

I can pass until I open my mouth. My speech tone and pattern are just too alien to sound particularly feminine.

[kimdl93]

The only place where I was fairly confident that the people I "read" were CDrs was at a local gay club during a drag show. Some of us showed up, of course, and a few were clearly less skilled in presentation than others, and so were pretty easy reads. (I'd be a pretty easy read, I think, given that I'm 6'2" and a bit too thick.)

The only other time that I was pretty sure I spotted a fellow CDr was at the local HEB grocery. She was older and taller than me, painfully thin, with quite angular facial features...and no shape whatsoever...straight as a board. Plus she wore what I thought was a really inappropriate outfit for grocery shopping...kinda a shiny gold top with black silk slacks....looked like something an older woman might wear to a holiday party, but not the produce section. My wife spotted her, and said "Bless her heart" and that's the attitude I tried to have about her too. Whether male or female, she was minding her own business and enjoying a day out in what might have been her favorite outfit.

[Barbara Ella]

I have to say that in our smallish town, and for the short time I have even been aware of crossdressing, I do not feel I have identified a CD. I also am probably too busy most of the time. When in restaurants, where there is time to study people, I do notice features and clothes as i am always on the lookout now, not for a fellow CD er, but for hints about what is going on in the real world. So i do notice that GGs come in all sizes and shapes, and any of us could fit right in, given the right moment and place, even with some of those male features that cant be totally hidden. Passing. no. Fitting in and functioning, yes.

Barbara

[bridget thronton]

My understanding of how people perceive things is they quickly pick up pieces of things they see and fill in the blanks to complete something AI folks call a frame - unless something is glaring out of place people stick with their frame selection as long as possible before trying a new one (this is why we misread words or why two people's descriptions of things they are not sure of differ wildly form one another and why suppose we get mam'd sometimes even endrab)

[Tess]

I'm not sure if the people I've seen have been TS or CD, but I've seen several. It isn't that I'm looking for them but that they usually stand out. Maybe I've got "CDar" too. Generally the giveaway has been height and masculine features. That leads to a second glance where other things stand out. It doesn't happen often but I can recall at least a half dozen over the last several years.

[Princess Chantal]

Before I became engaged in the local tg community, there was a bus driver that stood out for some reason. She looked, sounded and acted feminine (so she did "pass") but there was something that just had me intrigued by her every time I hopped on the bus she was driving. Lo and behold there she was at the crossdressing social group's meeting (was my second meeting). She was a transsexual that had her operation back in the 80's. Perhaps it was somewhat a sixth sense that triggered my interest.

[Patrice_CD]

My wife and I had visited a new church one Sunday morning and something caught my eye of one particular girl. She did pass and very well I might add but there was something about her. I kept looking at her through the service and I thought I saw her adams apple while singing and then her hands seemed to be a bit large. I wanted to walk up to her but since I was a guest I didn't. Plus that would have been rude. We have not been back to that church so I guess I'll never know.

I get lots of compliments on my mannerisms and the way I look, from friends who know me. Am I read by those who don't? I'm sure I am now and then but mostly not. My GG friends I'm out with tell me if I am read it's because I did something as my appearance doesn't shed a clue. Very rarely do I get second looks while out and about. I do dress for where I am and time of day. I even get called maam while in male mode. Last night was a prime example. My wife and I are with friends at a restaurant and when our server was taking our drink orders, she looked at me and said, "What can I get you maam?"