Would your life be much simpler IF...

[Lainie]

I "gave it up" recently--again--feeling no need to shop en femme, & shave my legs. I had thrown out most of my old male underwear & contentedly wore only panties, all the time, even to the gym. (No floral patterns or pretty colors in the locker room.) Just normal underwear, tucked not taped all the time, always sitting to pee. Half the population does this always, without a thought, me too. Barely a thought, just everyday normal. No posting here or using my girl name email.

... and more recently the opportunity, & the pink fog, came back, & here I am. Life is definitely simpler & easier without a monkey in your back. We're lucky that ours is a cute one.

[PretzelGirl]

First off, I view all that is part of our lives as something that builds our complete personality and the remainder of our lives. For instance, I could say I wish I had never married my first wife, but without that first marriage, I wouldn't have two of my children and four grandchildren. All things are building blocks to the remainder of our life.

But more directly, no thanks to the pill. I enjoy being who I am. I have had many great times. I have made great friends all because of what I do. Why would I want to give all that up and change who I am? I am special and accepting that goes a long way to being happy in life.

[Wildaboutheels]

Ok, so it looks like very few so far, find that CDing overcomplicates their life. Or excessively compromises their Relationships with their spouse or kids. Or maybe live alone.

[Laura912]

Perhaps I was not real clear. It does and has made my life complicated. No one else except wife knows so impact on others cannot be judged.

[Foxglove]

Nope, wouldn't change. This question or a similar one comes up fairly regularly, and every time it does I still haven't changed my mind. After being in denial for so many years, I finally decided to accept myself. I wish I'd done it many years ago. These days I like what I see when I look in the mirror. I like the way I feel. I can be happy about myself for the first time in my life. Why would I change? There's nothing wrong with me.

Annabelle

[weekend woman]

Sometimes the wanting is far better than the having. If one was able to give up crossdressing they would need something to fill the void that was created. It could be anything from collecting Chia pets to being a serial killer. So on the whole crossdressing isn't so bad. There are worse things.

[Rebecca Star]

There is honestly no "cure" for this affliction Hon as it is based on very deep rooted feelings and emotions although many would deny that. You can learn to manage it, however, and make it a total choice of whether to do or not (at any particular time) rather than leave it as an overriding compulsion. It is a complex emotional process that will take on a mind of it's own if allowed to. Then it can become problematic to deal with when it comes to family matters. Holding the reins in one's hands makes the difference.

You know Kate, that pretty much nails it, Kudos

I think the real issue comes back down the stigma associated with what we do. I'm sure if CDing was accepted, these issues either wouldn't be a problem or at least not envisaged as a floor in our male make-up to begin with.

TBH, it would be great if the Joe and Jill in the street understood me, but I'm happy to just settle for acceptance.

[paulinescotlandcd]

I've tried giving it up several times, sometimes even years, but I did not like the person I became when NOT dressing. I became short tempered, stressed and depressed. Something was missing. CDing relieves almost everything and makes me a better person to live with, happy and complete. Would I give it up if I could? Maybe, but only I could find something to equally make me feel good. Very unlikely.

I could not put it better myself, that about sums up my views.

[Sarah Doepner]

I wouldn't try to change who I am, and I am a crossdresser. If I woke up one morning and no longer had that as part of my personality and most of my memories about the enjoyment I've had disappeared as well, then my life would be different, but I don't know if it would be any simpler or easier. I'd probably get about the same done around the house and yard and have some other thing that took up my spare time and money. Maybe I'd be running a major Ponzi scheme or manufacturing illegal drugs or plotting to overthrow the duly elected government or inventing toys that would be unsafe for children. It sounds like I should keep my side of the closet full of girl things and keep the world a safer place.

[danielletorresani]

Yes, my life would be simpler, and yes I would give it up if I could.

I've already somewhat started to, as a matter of fact. The last year or so, my interest in actively dressing has been fading more and more, though I still enjoy looking at pics I took of myself dressed up.

[kristinacd55]

Perhaps, but the reality is I want to do it and thus will continue on and on and on and on and on..........

[Kerigirl2009]

I have finally accepted the fact that I am most definately a crossdresser, but maybe more then that. I have no idea where I will end up and I don't think anyone really does. We have are thoughts but things change, sometimes good and sometimes bad.
Now for the question- If I could stop would I ? My answer is I know I can stop dressing, but what I cannot stop is the feelings that go with it. By denying myself any dressing, I will definately lose my mind and that will change me into a different person.
I essentially do like who I am most of the time, but I find I really like who I am because of the feelings that I have, and I enjoy myself more when I can just relax and be myself. So NO I will not stop. Unless they can find a way to take away my memories of how it makes me feel.

[sissystephanie]

I did give crossdressing up completely for 5 years early in my marriage! My dear late wife knew and approved of my CD activities, but I thought it would be better for my family if I stopped. After 5 years my wife told me that she missed Stephanie in our household and asked me to start dressing again. I did and still do!

For those who say that you can't stop, you are completely wrong!! Unless you are being forced to crossdress by someone else, you can stop! It just takes willpower! That is your own will power!! Your mind controls your body! So if you really don't want to put on feminine clothes, then don't do it!! It is that simple!!

[AnitaH]

For decades I would have said yes in a moment, take a pill and be cured of this. Tried to stop many times in those years, actually did so for a couple of years several times. Fought it tooth and nail. Didn't like the person I became and had it gone on much longer no-one else would have liked me. It's only been a year since I accepted who I am but its like a new lease on life, a new enjoyment to life. Yes life would be simpler without it but certainly more dull. Would I give it up, would I take a pill? Now for the first time in my life I would say NO WAY. I wish I would have accepted myself years ago.

AnitaH

[Sandy Banks]

Too late, ran away from home six years ago and my wife still considers me a "pervert"(extremely closed minded)!

[TeriAnn]

Would I give it up if there was a way to get rid of it for good? Hmmm let's see.. nope not a chance I have been a cross dresser (since a very young age even thought I didn't know what it was at the time). I enjoy the feelings when I am dressed as a woman. I love the fact that when I am dressed my tension and stress just fade away. It is a natural high. No need for drugs to stop it.

[Lorileah]

well if it was illegal, immoral, unethical, dangerous, hurt others then yes I would. But seeing it isn't really anyone else's business...nope

[Marleena]

For decades I would have said yes in a moment, take a pill and be cured of this. Tried to stop many times in those years, actually did so for a couple of years several times. Fought it tooth and nail. Didn't like the person I became and had it gone on much longer no-one else would have liked me. It's only been a year since I accepted who I am but its like a new lease on life, a new enjoyment to life. Yes life would be simpler without it but certainly more dull. Would I give it up, would I take a pill? Now for the first time in my life I would say NO WAY. I wish I would have accepted myself years ago.

AnitaH

Anita said it all for me like my own story.


That said none of us know any other life.

[sometimes_miss]

You could give "it" up? I can rephrase to "Would you give up CDing if you could"?

Absolutely. I'd give it up in a second. It makes me a pariah to over 99% of women, and at this rate, I'm going to have to live the rest of my life alone, and if I remain healthy, that's going to be another 40 years. I don't deserve this, I didn't ask for it. It cost me my marriage, and all my assets up to that point. My family doesn't like me because of it either. My only option at this point is to lie to women (or at least not tell them openly until we're already dating for a while), and hope I come across one that's into crossdressing by random chance; and if she's not, well, we're both screwed. I've already seen how disappointed my ex wife was when she found out; and from reading so many threads about it, I know how most women will be upset when they find out. I really don't like disappointing people; so much of my life has been being one disappointment after another. My parents expected great things of me, so did my other relatives. Then I disappointed all my teachers; after all, my older sister was a friggin' genius, so I should have been too, right? Dad was an all star basketball player, but me? Bench warmer. And then of course, all the girlfriends, and my ex wife. I never lived up to who they wanted me to be. And you know what, because of how they all acted towards me, well, they disappointed me, too. Being molested, all the psychological damage, becoming a transgendered person, no, I didn't want any of this. I want a friggin' do-over in life. Rant over.

[Voulez-Vous]

one other person said that I was the ugliest b***ch he ever saw..I laughed at him..

Well, if you can do this, you will go far with your cd-ing. Now what if the same guy would have really intimidated you?

[cathie pantyhose]

I wont give it up. I'm VERY happy and relaxed when dressed...simply enough. I wont turn down a drink either so if that's my excuse so be it

[Karren H]

Hell yeah... if I could... I'd quit in a heartbeat.....

[Tina B.]

Sure I would give it up, if there was no lingering desire that drove me to be like I was back when I used to fight to keep from giving in to the need to dress. It's something that I fought with most of my life, then I found a great women, that said stop fighting it, and be who you are. Since then it's been fun, and free of stress, but I would still give it up, if.
But then I know for me there is no if, while it does complicate life, not dressing is so stressful it messes up my life, so I'll be satisfied to just leave well enough alone.
Tina B.

[Rebecca Star]

No, I kinda like what I do, besides I've grown attached to Rebecca over the years

[StephanieJ]

For those who say that you can't stop, you are completely wrong!! Unless you are being forced to crossdress by someone else, you can stop! It just takes willpower! That is your own will power!! Your mind controls your body! So if you really don't want to put on feminine clothes, then don't do it!! It is that simple!!

Thank you sissystephanie you are absolutely correct. I've stopped for years at a time in order to satisfy a disproving spouse. Trouble is that I could never get rid of the desire, and to my wife, knowing that I have the desire to cross dress is just as difficult for her as having me actually do it.

A therapist I recently saw taught that, "The opposite of addiction isn't abstinence, it's connection." I've been struggling a lot lately with that concept and the idea of cross dressing being an addiction. Personally I do not believe that it is! I believe that originates with a genetic predisposition that gestates in an environment that stimulates the behavior. In other words, I think it's equal parts nature and nurture. I also suspect that having someone in your life who totally accepts you for who you are makes it easier NOT to act on an unwanted desire to cross dress.

The reason for the distinction is that if you love someone deeply enough then you would likely do just about anything in your power for that person. Problem is that an addiction can be changed, while a genetic condition cannot. For example, if I was an alcoholic and my wife asked me to give up drinking, then I could choose to do it or not. However if I was dying of cancer and she told me to give up cancer, I could do everything in my power to comply, but in the end it isn't really up to me.

I probably sound like I'm splitting hairs or that I know all the answers, but seriously... What was the question again?? Oh yes, I would not give up cross dressing if I could because I would be cutting out a very critical part of who I am. Like the title of a great sermon I heard a couple months ago, "Give Me This Mountain."

As Michelle (Oz) so beautifully pointed out, If there is no magic pill and no way to change an disproving spouse. So where should our priorities lie, wife or dressing? My heart goes out to you Michelle (Oz). I haven't found the answer either, but I'm leaning toward keeping the wife.