Page 1 of 6 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 146

Thread: Trying to accept that I am a transsexual

  1. #1
    Member steph1964's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
    Posts
    226

    Trying to accept that I am a transsexual

    The last couple of months have been very difficult and depressing for me, as I have been coming to terms that I am a transsexual, not a crossdresser. I have memories of wanting to be a girl when I was 4 years old, and these feelings never went away, despite how hard I tried to suppress them. I lived most of my life full of guilt and shame and it wasn’t until a year ago that I joined this site, started seeing a counselor and began to accept what I was; a crossdresser. I told my wife at that time about my crossdressing but assured her that I wasn’t gay, and did not want to transition. I only thought about when I would get a chance to dress up, but didn’t allow myself to process my feelings.

    I reached the point about two months ago, when I could no longer keep my feelings in check, and I started soul searching. Once I allowed myself to feel through this process and reflect on my past, it became quickly obvious that I have always wanted to be female and I don’t remember a day when I haven’t felt this way. In the past two months my wife and I have been struggling to process this, both of us have been depressed and often in tears. We have been married for 23 years, and are best friends. I have been fighting to accept my life as it is, because I have a great marriage and a great life, yet the more I fight the more depressed I become. Why would I want to give all that I have up? And yet I am finding it more difficult every day to continue to lead my normal life. We have gone out with me dressed, something that we had never done in the past, trying to find the place where we could both be happy, but I now fear that there isn’t such a place. She said that she can’t stay married if I am full time, because she needs her husband, and I understand that.

    Recently I told my counselor that I felt that I was transsexual and she told me that she knew that I was after the first couple of visits, but didn’t tell me because I needed to come to this realization on my own. During my meeting with her yesterday, she told me that I was fighting hard to keep from going down this road, but she was concerned because I was becoming more depressed and worried what would happen to me if I chose to ignore it. We did discuss what would happen if I wanted to transition and she told me that she would write me a letter for hormones if that is what I decided.

    My wife’s family and our close friends know. My family live out of state so we haven’t told them yet. Everyone has been accepting, although no one has seen me dressed. But all our friends are actually my wife’s friends and their husbands, so I won’t have much support if I do chose to transition.
    Last edited by steph1964; 07-21-2012 at 07:37 PM.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member Pamela Kay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Queen Creek, AZ
    Posts
    537
    Hi Steph,

    Your story sounds much the same as mine and many others here. My wife and I just started the process today of moving into apartments after getting a contract to sell our dream home which we have lived in for over 3 years. We have been married for over 25 years now and it isn't easy as you already know. I have been in therapy since last November and on hormones for nearly 6 months. Also have had electrolysis and am scheduled for FFS in October.

    I question myself regularly wondering if I'm doing the right thing but not as often as I used too. Since I've been on HRT I have been able to go off of my anti depressants and feel better now than I have for as far back as I can remember. I'm out at work and to my close family and will be going full time after FFS.

    This is who I am and I can't hide or live a lie any longer. You are the only one that knows what you can endure and can decide if it's worth it or not.

    I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I wouldn't wish it on anyone but most of us have come to the point where we have no choice but to transition.

    We're here for you Steph.
    Last edited by Pamela Kay; 07-21-2012 at 08:22 PM.
    Pam

    "I am a stronger woman than I ever was a man." Living full time since Oct 14th 2012.

  3. #3
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    6,367
    Coming to the realization and accepting that you are transsexual (in my opinion) is only half the battle. I mean it is a good thing that you have done that much. It is what you do from here on that makes all the difference. Right now there are only two people that can make the decision about you. You and your wife.

    You need to do what is best for you as you are becoming more depressed and worried about it. You might try the HRT and see if it will help with these feelings. Ultimately, I think you know what the solution is.

    You may not have the physical support of another human right next to you but take the time to look around. You have hundreds of us right here in this section of the forum that totally understand and support you in everything you are doing.

    Good Luck and keep us posted to what is going on with you.
    Last edited by Jorja; 07-21-2012 at 10:44 PM.

  4. #4
    Member LisaMallon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    322
    Steph, very similar to my story as well.
    The only thing I can add is that when I finally accepted it (after running away for 45+ years) I actually started to feel a bit better, which I really hope will be the same for you.

    Whatever you decide, whatever path you take, you are not alone.

  5. #5
    Senior Member KellyJameson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,488
    Once you feel that feeling that goes back to the beginning and know what it means it is like turning a corner and it becomes a knowing that cannot become unknown even if you want it to.

    For me shame was always the problem, I was severly transphobic because of the methods used to try and change me so I would be "normal" and my life became a holding pattern like an airplane circling and never being permitted to land so I wound flirt with the trans community but would not be a part of it from the internalized shame.

    It was like being born into a family that is inside the house but you sit outside and listen to the conversations trying to feel included because you know you are related but never participating.

    That was a dangerous mistake on my part because I isolated myself, stay connected to others.

    I hope you will be able to keep those relationships held most dear to you even if they must change in form because there are many reasons and ways to love but all love is built with memories paid in time and time is not something we get back.

    I always remember that the gender dysphoria chose me, I did not choose it and this helps me let go of the guilt. I do what I can to protect others from me trying to be me but I will not stop being me just like I would not stop breathing to leave more oxygen in the world for others.

    In my opinion only those who experience GID know the reality of it so I ignore those who have not experienced it if they say you have a choice and can ignore it

    Each person has their own relationship with "GID and life" because each persons relationship with themselves is unique but nobody is "unable" to have a relationship with themselves so each of us must find ways to live with ourselves and living identity is living life.

    It is a scary path to walk but you are not alone and others will be there to guide and protect you.
    Last edited by KellyJameson; 07-22-2012 at 12:15 AM.

  6. #6
    Member Ann Thomas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Orange County, CA, USA
    Posts
    382
    Hi Steph,
    I hesitate to write because I've never posted in this part of the forum before, but can really see some parallels in my life with what you're going through. I'm a couple years older than you, have a wife, kids, etc, but it sounds like I'm only a few steps ahead of you. I have the same crossroads to face currently. I haven't been able to afford a counselor, but I have been able to attend a support group meeting for transsexuals locally. So, I've faced these issues in the group, and realize the sensitivity of these issues.

    I have not considered myself a crossdresser for some time, to some extent or another. But, to make a long story short, I also came to the conclusion I'm not transsexual either. I'm kind of somewhere in the middle. I've used the term Transgender most of the time because nothing seemed to squarely fit.

    I want to live female 100% of the time, but I don't want SRS. I want to grow breasts, and I want the beautiful skin, and my bald spot grown back in. I want my hair reasonably longer and styled in a female way. But no more than that, at this point.

    I had a hard time trying to figure out what I was, how to define my goals. They've changed over the years, like yours have, in fact starting out nearly identical to what you described at first when you came out to your wife. In the support group, it's been discussed at length about people making too quick of a decision to go all the way with it and end up regretting it later, with usually horrible consequences. I want to go slowly and make decisions as I evaluate and simulate in my mind what it would be like, all the while staying focused on living life as it is right now.

    To cut to the point, I'm taking a college class this summer in Sociology, and in it they brought up the Muxes in Mexico. They are part of a tribe that existed before the Spaniards came, and they are what we might call Transgendered, but are a bit different than what we see here. They are historically considered a third sex, and are rather fluid in how that is expressed from one Muxe to another. As they have become more westernized, they are struggling with the same issues we are, but they appear to have a bit more latitude to settle into than what we have here, culturally.

    In watching a CNN story about it (you can find the 3 links to the 3 parts at the bottom of the Wikipedia article about the Muxe), I noticed one comment that really struck me. One said she is fine with dressing female but still being male - she doesn't try to be passable, but accepts that she is recognized as Muxe.

    That is how I feel, and how I am when I go out. I don't attempt to be passable. I am simply doing all the things a woman would do, the clothes, the hair, the makeup (sometimes and to varying degrees), the mannerisms. But still I am clearly male, fighting 5 o-clock shadow, having male mannerisms, and so on. I still use male restrooms, but avoid using crowded ones.

    I still have my male functionality, which pleases my wife, and we've not yet crossed the bridge of how much I can live female when she is with me. (We are currently living separately although married.) So, I've established my work image as being that of dressing female (difficult in a blue collar job, but doable when I dress the way a blue collar female employee would.) That gives me a large chunk of my waking hours in the mode I wish to be in. I do not wish to do breast augmentation, but will be happy with how they grow out on their own, if much. In the meantime I can use gel inserts or breastforms. If they get too large, I can bind them when I need to be in male mode for my wife in public.

    I had already decided on how I wanted to be and have been stable on that now for at least a year, before I came across the information about the Muxe. So I feel I've reached that conclusion on my own, and feel validated by what I've recently learned.

    I realize I am different from both the crossdressers and the transsexuals, finding a place I feel happy with somewhere in the middle. We'll see what the future holds, but for now I'm not fighting the depression and anxieties I fought for years, like you are in the middle of. For now anyway, the tears are behind me, and I feel confident in my future.

    Hope that helps. I know this is long, and there's far more to the story, which could explain some of the gaps in my reasoning.

    I truly hope the best for you. I'm here if you need someone to talk with.

    Hugs,
    Ann

  7. #7
    Silver Member Raquel June's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    midwest
    Posts
    2,383
    Quote Originally Posted by steph1964 View Post
    ... In the past two months my wife and I have been struggling to process this, both of us have been depressed and often in tears. We have been married for 23 years, and are best friends. I have been fighting to accept my life as it is, because I have a great marriage and a great life, yet the more I fight the more depressed I become. Why would I want to give all that I have up? And yet I am finding it more difficult every day to continue to lead my normal life. We have gone out with me dressed, something that we had never done in the past, trying to find the place where we could both be happy, but I now fear that there isn't such a place. She said that she can't stay married if I am full time, because she needs her husband, and I understand that.
    You sound pretty rational. And I'm sure you and your therapist is right that you're TS. But you still have to make sure you don't focus on that too much and blame it for all your depression. I've seen a lot of people who are depressed for plenty reasons and they have a lot of stuff to deal with in their life, but they decide it's all about their gender issues. And then when they transition and their life isn't magically fixed they freak out. I'm not saying that's you. I'm just saying it's something to keep in mind, because transition makes your life more stressful, not less stressful -- although it's still something most of us decide we have to do. It's just important to try to deal with as many other stresses as you can first to prepare for that big one. And it's definitely a big one. I think the decision to transition is about the only thing I would rank above the decision of who to marry as far as important events in your life. But it should be a wonderful thing, starting your real life.

    It's cool that your wife has the clarity to say she can't stay married if you transition. I think a lot of wives have that "love conquers all" optimism then after the transition realize that they're just not lesbians. And a lot of TS women think it's no big deal because they want to maintain the same relationship so what's the problem? And this is something that I don't really hear people talk about, but that's a whole other transition you have to go through if you're a transwoman attracted to women. You have to transition from being seen as a straight guy to being seen as a homosexual woman. And for me that was awfully awkward, because I had prepared in my mind for a long time for the gender transition, but I wasn't prepared to be publicly gay. It's all the little things -- like the looks people give you when they see a grown woman holding another grown woman's hand in public.But maybe that's just me.

    Of course, if your wife doesn't want to be married to a woman, she'll eventually figure out that she already is.

    If you're not sure about the transition ... well ... I think what finally helped me sort things out was trying to focus on what future I really would be happy with. Not even happy so much as what I could handle. And I just couldn't handle the idea of the next 20 years pretending I was a guy.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member Anna Lorree's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    556
    Reduce the number of years married to 14 1/2 years, and reduce the number of people who know, and you have described my life perfectly. In other words, I understand where you are because I am there with you. I am coming to realize that I am not going to be able to hold this back forever, which tells me I might as well start the process now. As such, I am saving money toward beard removal and intend to start that process in September. After that, I anticipate starting low-dose estrogen and T-blockers. My wife has already told me that my transition will end our marriage, but I can't reassure her anymore. I am getting to the point where I feel I need to do this, I need to finally discover and BE me. I was meant to be a woman. If she can't be married to me as a woman, I can understand the position she is in and I don't blame her. It does sadden me, but she has to be her, too. She tells me that she will still want me in her life, but not as a spouse after transition.

    This is the hardest thing I have ever decided to do, and I am only at the start of this journey, and I am frightened. However, I am getting to the point where I have to accept that I have no other real options. At this point, I am just buying time...

    Anna
    "If you're going through Hell, keep going."
    -Winston Churchill

  9. #9
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    5,902
    I think it's called denial Steph. I questioned myself all of my life and even raised a family until it hit me again in later life. I was told I'm TS, I had to be told. My first reply was that I don't want to be TS! I still question it because I don't want SRS, how can that be, right? Well my GID told me the truth.

  10. #10
    I'm just peachy! TerryTerri's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Yuma, Arizona
    Posts
    694
    Two tidbits of wisdom that really helped me with all this is the basic understanding that it doesn't matter how I feel about it, it doesn't change the fact I am transsexual or not. Think of hemmoroids, it doesn't matter how you think about them, either you have them or not. So, I had to learn how to disconnect my opinion of it all in accepting my honest reality. Once acceptance of the honest truth is acquired, then decisions on what to do about it come into play.
    The other thing that realy helped me is, now that I have an understanding of gender and it's affect upon us, I looked back, with some scrutiny, at my childhood years, my teenage years, etc. and thought about it in a gender perspective. Wow, talk about giving me realizations I had been transgendered all my life. So so many things in my past started making so much more sense when I realized that I was simply a little girl inside. Of course I acted and reacted the way I did, it all made so much more sense to me!

    Good luck figuring this all out. It is an interesting malady to wrestle with.
    [SIZE="3"]Terri[/SIZE]
    ------------------------------------------
    [SIZE="2"]"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, The master calls a butterfly!"[/SIZE]

    The true measure of a person is in the questions they ask, not the answers they give.

  11. #11
    Rotten 80's child Nicole Erin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    7,074
    If you do transition, your social connections will change yes. It may cost your marriage. You cannot let someone else decide how you should live your life. If you love her more than you want to transition then the choice is clear but if you are holding back just cause someone else will not approve, it might be time to move on with your own life.
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  12. #12
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    70
    I do believe he does love me more than he wants to transition and more than ANYTHING in this world. I think this sucks BIG TIME. And if he had s choice the choice would be clear. I think this is the most likely path but we are still fighting and havent given in yet. But we have to consider what ma be.... I love you with all my heart and i hope i can support you with whatever happens <3

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member Anna Lorree's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    556
    Quote Originally Posted by angies GG View Post
    I do believe he does love me more than he wants to transition and more than ANYTHING in this world. I think this sucks BIG TIME. And if he had s choice the choice would be clear. I think this is the most likely path but we are still fighting and havent given in yet. But we have to consider what ma be.... I love you with all my heart and i hope i can support you with whatever happens <3
    This, to me, is the most difficult part of being who and what we are. I feel for both of you, as I understand your situation all too well.

    Anna
    "If you're going through Hell, keep going."
    -Winston Churchill

  14. #14
    Member steph1964's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
    Posts
    226
    Quote Originally Posted by Pamela Kay View Post
    Hi Steph,

    Your story sounds much the same as mine and many others here. My wife and I just started the process today of moving into apartments after getting a contract to sell our dream home which we have lived in for over 3 years. We have been married for over 25 years now and it isn't easy as you already know.
    Thank you for sharing with me while you are still going through such a difficult time. I feel for you and I know how difficult this must be after being married for so long.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jorja View Post
    You need to do what is best for you as you are becoming more depressed and worried about it. You might try the HRT and see if it will help with these feelings. Ultimately, I think you know what the solution is.
    Thank you Jorja for your kind words, and yes I am afraid that I do know what the solution is, I am just having a difficult time accepting it.
    Quote Originally Posted by LisaMallon View Post
    Steph, very similar to my story as well.
    The only thing I can add is that when I finally accepted it (after running away for 45+ years) I actually started to feel a bit better, which I really hope will be the same for you.

    Whatever you decide, whatever path you take, you are not alone.
    Thank you Lisa
    Quote Originally Posted by KellyJameson View Post
    It was like being born into a family that is inside the house but you sit outside and listen to the conversations trying to feel included because you know you are related but never participating.
    Thank you, this statement really struck me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ann Carpenter View Post
    I truly hope the best for you. I'm here if you need someone to talk with.
    Thank you Ann for your comments and support.
    Quote Originally Posted by Raquel June View Post
    But you still have to make sure you don't focus on that too much and blame it for all your depression. I've seen a lot of people who are depressed for plenty reasons and they have a lot of stuff to deal with in their life, but they decide it's all about their gender issues. And then when they transition and their life isn't magically fixed they freak out.
    Thank you, I appreciate your comments and I have given this a lot of thought. I have an appointment with a tg friendly doctor this week, not for HRT, but to talk about maybe getting on anti-depressants to help me with this. I don’t want to get to the HRT yet, until I have exhausted all my options. Maybe I am just delaying the inevitable but I want to know that I tried everything else first.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anna Lorree View Post
    This is the hardest thing I have ever decided to do, and I am only at the start of this journey, and I am frightened. However, I am getting to the point where I have to accept that I have no other real options. At this point, I am just buying time...Anna
    Thank you Anna, I am also very frightened and I feel for what you are going through. In the beginning I was able to reassure my wife that things would work out, but I’m no longer able to do this while being honest.
    Quote Originally Posted by Marleena View Post
    I think it's called denial Steph. I questioned myself all of my life and even raised a family until it hit me again in later life. I was told I'm TS, I had to be told. My first reply was that I don't want to be TS! I still question it because I don't want SRS, how can that be, right? Well my GID told me the truth.
    Yes, and I don’t want to be TS…I mean no offense to anyone here but this is the nicest group of people that I don’t want to have anything in common with.

    Quote Originally Posted by TerryTerri View Post
    Think of hemmoroids, it doesn't matter how you think about them, either you have them or not… Once acceptance of the honest truth is acquired, then decisions on what to do about it come into play…I looked back, with some scrutiny, at my childhood years, my teenage years, etc. and thought about it in a gender perspective. Wow, talk about giving me realizations I had been transgendered all my life.
    I love the hemorrhoid comment, and I have been doing a lot of reflection over the last couple of months, and it is painfully clear once I looked for it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicole Erin View Post
    If you love her more than you want to transition then the choice is clear but if you are holding back just cause someone else will not approve, it might be time to move on with your own life.
    I wish it were that simple for me, because I can’t imagine my life without her, but I am also having a hard time continuing to live as a male. I would like to think I have control over this, and maybe I will get control over it, but right now I feel like I am being torn in two.

  15. #15
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    2,422
    Quote Originally Posted by steph1964 View Post
    Yes, and I don’t want to be TS…I mean no offense to anyone here but this is the nicest group of people that I don’t want to have anything in common with.
    LOL.... no surprise there... I don't think anyone wants to be TS. Even today, after all I've been through, if I was given a pill that would make me all man or all woman, I would take it. I don't care what the outcome is as long as it MATCHES!

  16. #16
    Member steph1964's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
    Posts
    226
    Quote Originally Posted by angies GG View Post
    I do believe he does love me more than he wants to transition and more than ANYTHING in this world. I think this sucks BIG TIME. And if he had s choice the choice would be clear. I think this is the most likely path but we are still fighting and havent given in yet. But we have to consider what ma be.... I love you with all my heart and i hope i can support you with whatever happens <3
    I do love you more than anything and you have already supported me more than I could possibly wish.

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member TeresaL's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    666
    Craaaaap! I don't want to read this. My wife just made dinner for me.

    Unfortunately, I'm finding my story within these stories and it hurts, so bad.
    Especially this...

    Quote Originally Posted by KellyJameson View Post
    For me shame was always the problem, I was severly transphobic because of the methods used to try and change me so I would be "normal" and my life became a holding pattern like an airplane circling and never being permitted to land so I wound flirt with the trans community but would not be a part of it from the internalized shame.
    If you were married before 1980, you probably didn't have the information to tell your GF that you are TG. You may not have even admitted it to yourself.
    Now, it's almost common knowledge amongst us, and should be communicated before marrying.
    Last edited by TeresaL; 07-22-2012 at 08:42 PM.

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member Anna Lorree's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    556
    Quote Originally Posted by Bree-asaurus View Post
    LOL.... no surprise there... I don't think anyone wants to be TS. Even today, after all I've been through, if I was given a pill that would make me all man or all woman, I would take it. I don't care what the outcome is as long as it MATCHES!
    I have said the same thing, virtually word for word, so many times that I can't even count it anymore.

    Anna
    "If you're going through Hell, keep going."
    -Winston Churchill

  19. #19
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    2,422
    Quote Originally Posted by Anna Lorree View Post
    I have said the same thing, virtually word for word, so many times that I can't even count it anymore.

    Anna
    Yuppers. But the thing is, we can't do anything about it. So all the fighting and searching for answers is just a waste of time. The sooner we can accept who we are and move on to figure out what we need to do to survive, the better.

  20. #20
    Aspiring Member Anna Lorree's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    556
    Quote Originally Posted by Bree-asaurus View Post
    Yuppers. But the thing is, we can't do anything about it. So all the fighting and searching for answers is just a waste of time. The sooner we can accept who we are and move on to figure out what we need to do to survive, the better.
    I guess I just haven't quite gotten over kicking, screaming and pounding my fists yet, but I am getting closer.

    Anna
    "If you're going through Hell, keep going."
    -Winston Churchill

  21. #21
    Be free - overcome fear!
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    2,909
    Quote Originally Posted by angies GG View Post
    I do believe he does love me more than he wants to transition and more than ANYTHING in this world. I think this sucks BIG TIME. And if he had s choice the choice would be clear. I think this is the most likely path but we are still fighting and havent given in yet. But we have to consider what ma be.... I love you with all my heart and i hope i can support you with whatever happens <3
    Angie, it is easy to see how much you are hurting and I fully understand what you have to deal with.

    You feel like you are losing your "husband", but you have not lost the person you fell in love with. She is the same caring person they ever was, and you were not to know that you really fell in love with a woman. And that also makes it hard for you because to stay together and your partner transitions, it will mean that you will also have to go through your own transition with regards to your sexuality and be in a gay or lesbian relationship. And I know that many women cannot do that because social stigma puts so much strain on these types of relationships. But if you really love each other then I am sure those issues an also be worked through as well.

    You have a long road ahead of you both and I rather it be you and not me. And just so you know
    I went through something similar, but there was no way anyone could stop me from the need to
    be true to myself. If I continued to repress my issues to make others happy it was going to kill me.

    I wish you luck and all the best and I really hope that you can work this out, but I feel the best solution
    might now be exactly what you want, but I hope you can come to a better understanding & acceptance soon.

    Steph, I have nothing really further to add because the feedback & support you have received is the best that you can get.

    xx
    Last edited by Melody Moore; 07-23-2012 at 12:22 AM.
    "Judging a person does not define who they are - it defines who you are"
    "
    Don't be so Serious, if you can't laugh at yourself, call me....... I'll laugh at you!"
    "
    Haters don't really hate you, they hate themselves, because you are a reflection of what they want to be"
    "The most happiest people in this world don't need the best of everything, they just make the best of everything"'

    Find me on Facebook

  22. #22
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    21,075
    Quote Originally Posted by steph1964 View Post
    Thank you, I appreciate your comments and I have given this a lot of thought. I have an appointment with a tg friendly doctor this week, not for HRT, but to talk about maybe getting on anti-depressants to help me with this. I don’t want to get to the HRT yet, until I have exhausted all my options. Maybe I am just delaying the inevitable but I want to know that I tried everything else first.
    I think this is very wise. Transition is a huge step, especially if you've only been out dressed a few times in TG-safe venues.

    Also, I'm concerned about your therapists' statements. The red flag for me is that she said that she knew you were TS after only a few sessions. I didn't know that therapists could determine this. I also don't know how any therapist can say this until you've had a lot more real life experiences under your belt (enough to have gotten over the novelty) where you and your therapist would have had the opportunity to explore your actual experiences more fully.

    Please understand that I'm not making a judgment on whether you are TS or not. Only you can determine this. But it might be worth your while to seek a second opinion sometime in the future while you get the depression under control and you begin going out into the mainstream (alone or just with Angies ... not with TG support groups) on a regular basis? I'm not sure what your work situation is, you do risk your marriage, so you don't want to leave any stones unturned. In the meantime, it will be important to actually go out there (a lot) to see how it feels to be yourself?

    I wish you and Angies all the best as you meander through all of this.

    Last edited by ReineD; 07-23-2012 at 04:57 AM.
    Reine

  23. #23
    Member Karinsamatha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    479
    It has been a long road for me to accept that i am trans sexual. I don't want to go through the motions of a life like i had been. It is time for me to get on with it so to speak. There are times i feel like a ghost in the machine partially able to walk in both the mle, and female world. But never really firmly in either. As i go forward with life and move slowly tword transition, i look forward to landing in the world i belong in. I am a woman and i will live as one, and also feel comfortable in my own skin. I can't keep lying to myself and others.
    A prisoner in a kings disguise - Styx

  24. #24
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Almost the Great White North...
    Posts
    20,176
    This is all rushing up on your wife, and you, rather rapidly. I have no doubt that you are transsexual. And she hasn't had much time to adjust to this realization. Given time, theres a chance that you and your wife can reach an arrangement can work for both of you. She needs time and so do you.

  25. #25
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    6,367
    Quote Originally Posted by steph1964 View Post
    Thank you Jorja for your kind words, and yes I am afraid that I do know what the solution is, I am just having a difficult time accepting it.
    Take your time. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither are we.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State