Wife told....her mother???

[Jessica86]

Well, I'm sitting here, and can't sleep. I'm up, thinking about something that occurred a few days ago. My mother in law was talking to my wife about divorcing her step dad. Apparently this has been an on going issue. She told my wife she wished she could find someone like me, who had no problems, and a good head on their shoulder. Some how....this conversation turned to my wife informing my mother in law I am a crossdresser. I've had positive reactions from other family members, but I didn't want to put HER side of the family through this.

My wife told me the craziest thing. I was actually sweating after she told me what she did. My wife said my mother in law described it as "interesting and not something to think of as a problem." She said she doesn't view me any different and wants to SEE ME DRESSED! OH MY GOD! I don't even know. This is someone I promised to protect their daughter, keep her, and be the man she needs me to be. Doing something like that, just....eeks me. It doesn't sit right.

My wife goes on to say "You don't have to, but she really wants to see. I told her I would show her a picture or something, but we were invited to come over tonight." So, with all of these things in my head, I told her I didn't feel right going. I felt like her parents would feel weird. PLUS, I would have to answer all of those magic questions again. So, we didn't go, and my wife told me she told her to show me that there is nothing to be afraid of. She said I need to be more open with people about it. I agree to some degree, but I don't know where I'm sitting on this issue. Really just thinking at the moment.

[Shelly Preston]

I would go with the idea of a picture first. Its good that she is understanding enough to want to see you dressed.
Think of it as a good opportunity to explain what you can even if you dont know all the answers. In the future you may find you dont have to rush off and change if she decides to visit. Whatever you decide you can take this at your own speed and discuss it with your wife before taking any action.

[max]

People are quite adamant about how you need to respect your wife's boundaries on CDing. I'd say here she should be respecting how fast you want to take it! If you don't feel comfortable doing something you don't have to do it!

[Beverley Sims]

Only dress for her when you are ready.
Show the photo first, and if prompted for more and all seems cool, go for it.

[Sandra]

I agree with what the others have said show a photo first, and then show her your true self when you are ready to do so and not before.

[Kylie4]

I agree with the others about showing the picture first. Depending on what type of reaction you get from the picture you may want to let her see you dressed at some point. Halloween would be a good time. Maybe at a costume party where it wont be as personal. I wish you luck. It sounds like you have a great mother in law and you have a chance to build on your relationship with her. She could be very helpful to you. I have a great relationship with my mother in law but I told my wife she is to NEVER tell her about me dressing. I wish she would though if I knew I would get the same reaction your mother in law gave.

[STACY B]

Hell you look great ,,,, If ya want to do ,,,Go ahead if not jus dolike the others said here look this what I look like ,,,lol,,, Pretty ,,,HUH,,,,, An thats the way I roll ,,,, This is a hell of alot better than alot of hobbys ,,,,, You can still be her husband an protect her the same . Just do it in better prettier outfits .

[Cheryl T]

Photo first with discussion if she has questions. Then if you feel at ease with how things went I would dress for her.

[RADER]

Yep!!! A photo first; Then maybe some day, at your choosing, show her the real you.
You know the questions will come, but you have been there before.
Rader

[Leah Lynn]

Or make it an event; three ladies and a whole day of shopping together!

[BRANDYJ]

Jessica, I understand how you feel about being your wife's man;Very admirable and the way it should be. But what does the fact that you crossdress have to do with being her man and protector? You can be a man that protects and keeps his wife and still be a CD. It sounds like you have not fully accepted yourself yet and feel there is something wrong or perverted being a CD. Just being a CD does not make you sick or perverted. You are the man your mother in law likes and respects you since she'd like to find someone like you.

Her statement ,"interesting and not something to think of as a problem, and that she said she doesn't view you any different and wants to SEE ME DRESSED! . If that is not someone that is accepting, understanding and non-judgmental, I don't know what is. She asked to see you dressed. it's not like you or your wife pushed her by asking if she wanted to see you dressed.

Now tha she knows and accepts, I would think the subject will come up again...by her. If you reject her wanting to see you, in effect you are sending a message that perhaps you think there is something wrong or perverted about dressing. I don't see the need of showing her a picture instead of perhaps planning an evening that she can come over and enjoy an evening with you and her daughter. Perhaps some wine, fix them a nice dinner or hors d'oeuvres. Let her ask questions if she wants. Answer them honestly just as you would answer for anyone. My guess is it would be a warm, friendly and monumental evening to bring you and your mother in-law even closer with more trust between you. I wish I had this opportunity when I was your age.
The cat's out of the bag now, it's not gonna go away.

[kimdl93]

I agre that it should be something you are more open about with those closest to you. That doesn't mean total immersion on the ,first day, however. Maybe some day you, your wife and mother in law can meet for coffee.

[DonnaT]

It's really your choice who you let see you, but what are you really afraid of?

You've had positive reactions from other family members, meaning you've told others. Now your MIL knows and has seeming reacted positively.

And I'd really like to know what you meant by "put HER side of the family through this."

Through what?

It's only your MIL, not your wife's whole family. And if your MIL is going to tell others, dressing or not, isn't going to change that.

I've given my wife permission to tell whomever she feels like like it. That way I've no worries if I'm dressed and someone who knows decides to visit. I can remain dressed and not have to rush off and change.

[reb.femme]

Well, I'm sitting here, and can't sleep. I'm up, thinking about something that occurred a few days ago. My mother in law was talking to my wife about divorcing her step dad. Apparently this has been an on going issue. She told my wife she wished she could find someone like me, who had no problems, and a good head on their shoulder. Some how....this conversation turned to my wife informing my mother in law I am a crossdresser. I've had positive reactions from other family members, but I didn't want to put HER side of the family through this.

I can only imagine what you are going through, my gut turns over thinking of me in the same situation. Easy for me to say, but the absolute positive that the mother-in-law wants to see a picture and/or you in the flesh is pretty immense. Having seen your pics in the gallery, you present really well, so you can at least flaunt what you have.

I know my wife has thought of telling her sister. I think she needs to discuss my CDing with someone she trusts without hesitation. Only problem, is how she takes it and then it's out in the wild as far as family is concerned. No-one in my family knows and not so sure I can handle that. Good luck however you decide.

Rebecca x

[Tracii G]

Pics I would do first and only to your MIL not the FIL.

[TxKimberly]

I would say that you are very blessed to be surrounded by understanding people and family!

[Kelly Smith]

For some reason I would be thrilled to get dolled up for for a mother in law like yours.

[Britney Johnson]

Jess...Now that she knows, I am sure she will begin asking questions. It is just a matter of time. Hopefully, she will be understanding and assist with making you feel more comfy around her and slowly get you to come out of your shell. I have been in this situation with friends, and I just showed pics at first, because there was some sort of safety I found in it. I have also dressed for others when they asked, which made me nervous in the beginning, but once out..., they made me feel so welcome and treated me like any other girl. I love being me, and I am still working on getting out as me more often as well. It isn't so easy. Please, let us know how things turn out. I think you will be pleasantly surprised of how accepting she is of you. Good luck on your decision and becoming comfortable with who you truly are... Hugz n Love

[Stephanie47]

Take it on your own time table. I have always viewed my cross dressing as my private affair. You look great in your avatar picture. You and your wife may want to play a little game with your mother-in-law. I'd say look you very passable. There is no reason your wife and mother-in-law cannot go shopping or catch lunch at an outdoor case, where you can 'pass bye' them as they sit and eat or shop. If she does not recognize you, then the next time the subject comes up you can tell her that she has already seen you. Then your wife can show her a picture from a camera phone. Maybe having your wife show her a picture of you will be less stressful than you doing it yourself. Good luck. I wish I was in your dress, err shoes, for a day.

[Badtranny]

Jessica, stop acting like this is some horrible secret. It shouldn't be a secret at all, secrets are for child molesters and cheaters. So you get a little freaky, every one has something in the closet and most people are only smug about it cuz they know you can't see inside their hearts. Show her the pic, "I know it's a little crazy but it's something I really enjoy doing". Every single person has some kind of kink or freaky thing that they are ashamed of you're lucky because you have no reason to be ashamed of yours. Dressing up is fun, end of story.

Weren't you just talking about being a model in another thread? What do you want a double life? Just own who you are and don't be all creepy and secretive and ashamed about it. You're not a little boy who got caught in his mom's closet. You're a grown ass man who likes to have a good time. No harm, no foul right?

[Jorja]

Jessica, stop acting like this is some horrible secret. It shouldn't be a secret at all, secrets are for child molesters and cheaters. So you get a little freaky, every one has something in the closet and most people are only smug about it cuz they know you can't see inside their hearts. Show her the pic, "I know it's a little crazy but it's something I really enjoy doing". Every single person has some kind of kink or freaky thing that they are ashamed of you're lucky because you have no reason to be ashamed of yours. Dressing up is fun, end of story.

Weren't you just talking about being a model in another thread? What do you want a double life? Just own who you are and don't be all creepy and secretive and ashamed about it. You're not a little boy who got caught in his mom's closet. You're a grown ass man who likes to have a good time. No harm, no foul right?

While I may not have said it quite the same way, this is good Melissa.

[Rachel Morley]

My wife said my mother in law described it as "interesting and not something to think of as a problem." She said she doesn't view me any different and wants to SEE ME DRESSED!

She said I need to be more open with people about it.

I'm sitting here smiling because your situation reminds me so much of what happened to me when my wife told her sister. I didn't know she was going to tell her either as my wife said it somehow it "just came out" when they were having one of their sisterly chats. Anyway, apparently my wife's sister got all excited and wanted to see me dressed as soon as possible and even suggested that we all go out together. Gulp! ... this was 4 years ago and at time I very nervous about other people (who are part of the family) seeing me dressed. My wife also said that it was no big deal and that I needed to be more open with people about it.

It turned out that it wasn't that bad. I was thinking I was going to be some sort of curiosity side show for my wife's sister when in fact she wanted to help me and even offered me some of her old clothes. My point is, that you might find that your mother in law could be another great asset to you as well as your wife.

[Marleena]

Jessica, I'm in the show pictures first camp. Then get prettied up to see her. This would be a dream come true for many of the girls here.

[kathly]

In my opinion I would say do not even show the pictures it sounds like you do not like the Idea. so with respect you should tell her that you do not feel comfortable.
Sometimes there are things that need to be kept between you and your wife and these sounds like it should be kept between both of you.
do not feel obligated to do something you do not like.
well good luck.

[Foxglove]

I can understand your being a bit uncomfortable with the idea of her seeing you dressed. I came out to my son a month ago or so, and since then he hasn't asked to see me dressed. I think he might be uncomfortable with the idea, and I know I would be, too, at first. It would take some getting used to the idea, but I could do it and I'd be happy to do it, if he could accept the idea.

I don't think this necessarily has anything to do with feelings of shame about being trans. My son and I have known each other for 26 years. We've always had a certain sort of relationship, and if he sees me dressed, it will suddenly become a different sort of relationship. When relationships change, for whatever reason, there can be some discomfort there until everybody involved gets used to the idea.

Letting someone see you dressed for the first time is a big deal, even if they're willing and eager to see you dressed. I say do what you're comfortable with.

Best wishes, Annabelle