Unusual or not?

[RiverdanceGirl]

Just a little preamble before I ask my question. There was a thread recently about whether 'having a female side' is appropriate for us, and if we say it how do we mean it. I have talked about my female side but really it is the part of me who I have always been that I had to hide from others who would have had very negative reactions. She is me and always has been. I've just recently started to accept that I've repressed a very important part of myself.

So, in a round about kind of way here's my question. My kitchen sink and taps recently commited suicide. I had to save the money to get them fixed. The plumber who came was a big guy. Only an inch or two taller than me but a much sturdier build. I felt very slender by comparison and oddly it reinforced how feminine my body is compared to big men. The truly weird bit is that later that night my mind wandered to thinking about being a woman and then wondering if the plumber guy would find me attractive. Even weirder, I wanted him to find me attractive. Is this a normal part of accepting my new amalgamated self? I wouldn't want to have sex with a man as a man, and always thought I'd be a lesbian if I could become a woman.

[AllieSF]

Yes, I think that your fantasizing that is normal. I say fantasizing, though who knows until you get further down your road to discover who you are and then letting who you are come out. Also having someone finding you attractive is also very normal. I like that too because it means that I am doing a good job in presenting myself as myself.

[Cynthia Anne]

I think it is very normal! I know I sometimes have those feelings too! Just be yourself and enjoy it! Hugs!

[Ann Thomas]

Yes, I've wondered about that kind of thing myself. What's more interesting is when things happen. Recently I've begun wearing small forms in public, and am at the same time getting much better at putting together cute outfits. More than once lately, I've men staring at my chest, not just glancing, but staring. It's an odd feeling, one of both a bit of revulsion,and a bit of appreciation all mixed up together. Like you, I'm attracted to women.

Ann

[KellyJameson]

Sex is separate from that feeling but sex can be used to intensify that feeling.

It is a power relationship between the protector (plumber) and the protected (you)

Being the protected appears to indicate you have less power but this is an illusion because you actually have more just as it appears the protector has more power (is able to protect) but actually has less. This is the paradox of power, the more you gain the less you have and the more you give away the more you aquire.

I have found the Tao of Power helpful in understanding this phenomenon.

The advantage of bending gender is discovering worlds outside the ones you know by the limits imposed on you through the roles previously assigned to you.

All relationships are power relationships. A kitten or puppy has power because it is cute so through attraction becomes valuable to those who are attracted. The cat and dog lose this power but gain others such as the ability to protect through aggressive defense.

What you experienced is not sexual but the awareness of another form of power that many woman take for granted because it usually is made available to them in differing degrees so it feels natural to experience it and they often rebel against it, intuitively understanding that it could entrap them

Power is that which can create/cause effect.

[noeleena]

Hi,

No i never hid myself i did not even try to be like many here have said being or trying to be the big man or a mans man , & really that means nothing to me as i have no idear when youv never related to or with men ,

my body shape is in line as a normal woman with masculine facial features, so no i would never even think a male would wont to look at me as a mate not going to happen any ways,

Okay i worked with men all my life in the building sector 46 years. what is funny to me o fcause is you saying you had to get a guy in to repair your taps. that wont happen here im the one who does that, & fix most other things as well .

My trade was done both as a percived male & as a normal woman,

Can i say many men if they can would be after more than just the finding you attractive, so you need to remember as a woman are you fare game. or you are,

Im a woman & think as one pretty much most of my life, so you see things differently . yes iv been propistioned , i did not like it its just a fact of life for us,

I know many here allso fantasizing about this. for some maybe yes , others no .just be carefull of that pink fog dont do something youll later regret.

...noeleena...

[deebra]

As a feminine M2F CD'er I can see you're thoughts as normal. You didn't say it but I'll bet you also wondered or desired how it would feel to be the female and have sex with him. This is also not abnormal for M2F CD'ers to wonder what it would be/feel like to have sex with a man, you couldn't feel anymore female than this.

[Georgia_Maine]

Fantasizing is normal and nothing to worry about. Acting on fantasies might be a different story depending on the situation. As Mark Twain said, "We all have thoughts that would shame the devil".

Gigi

[Oiltasters]

I have definitely had those feelings. Of course, we ALL want to be found attractive and desirable. That's totally natural. Imagining what could follow from that is usually a very enjoyable thought. Relax ad enjoy it.
Kisses,
-SissyJoan-

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi RD Girl, The Crossdressers mind is an amazing place no two alike.