i want to be done.

[TeresaL]

i really do want to give it up and be done with it. can anyone please help me with this? anything at this point would help!

Why are you on this site? It should be clear by now that we support the transgender scene and very few if any of us want to quit. I for one do not want to quit, and will not quit. You need to go elsewhere for information on quitting.
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The author on STOP contradicts himself:
http://stopcrossdressing.com/reflect...the-beginning/
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His contradiction is that he elsewhere refers to it as fetish. Clearly he needs more research on terminology, at least, he should be consistent. IMO, he is riddled with guilt and a victim of evangelical, discriminating thinking.
-------///

You asked for help.
Now OTOH, you are more than welcome to stay here. We will help you find that woman within. LOL

[Amy Fakley]

I've been lurking here for a long while and just finally made myself an account last week. I saw this thread and just had to make my first comment.

Dude, I feel you. I've been there so many times I can't even count.

I did the math in my head the other day ... since I started this around 9, I've been dealing with it like 27 years. For 25 of those years I absolutely hated myself, and this "dirty little thing I do behind closed doors". Growing up in a stern, fundamentalist right-wing-nutty family in the deep fried south didn't help. There's so much crap tangled up in my head surrounding this issue, it's no wonder it took me nearly a quarter century to get right with myself. I suspect you may have similar feelings at play.

A key point of understanding for me was the realization that I am my body. This brain, your brain ... it is a bucket full of chemical reactions, and it's not even the best chemical reactions, it's just those selected over the millennia to keep you alive long enough to reproduce ... that is, random ones that worked good enough. That's just natural selection at work (no matter where you fall on the evolution "issue", you can't deny that much).

You are not a perfect being who failed to meet some moral test, or who encountered some chance example of unsound parenting, and is thusly irreparably fouled in some way.

I firmly believe that we crossdressers, tansfolk, etc are exactly what nature intended to produce.

The arbitrary prototypes of "male" and "female" gender are out of sync with the natural world, that is all. One of the foundations of human intelligence is the ability to generalize, which is to say ... to discard detail, so that we can make decisions. Details like the fact that there are a lot of people between the rigid definitions of "female" and "male" gender. It's no surprise that our imperfect societies can't deal with it. Time (maybe a loooong time) will deal with that problem, eventually. Welcome to the bleeding edge of human evolution! :-)

Hey man, if you wanna quit, you should try.
If it makes you happy not to crossdress, then heck, don't do it :-)

You may legitimately find that you no longer need or want to, and that's perfectly cool if you don't. Like many, many others who have commented here and in other forums you'll find all over the internet, you may find that it's something you feel you need to continue doing on some level. That's completely ok too, it's not a failing, it's just who you are.

As for myself ... Crossdressing is to me as Weed is to snoop dogg: "hey man, I already quit like 6 times today", LOL.

Find yourself, then accept yourself.
Peace, Love, Unity, Respect

[busker]

i dont knwo what it is, or why, but the ffeling of not wanting to do it anymroe is overcoming the feeling of wanting to do it. most of the time. and i feel that i really do want to give it up and be done with it. can anyone please help me with this? anything at this point would help!

It is possible to give it up even having a desire to do it. alcoholics do it every day. Cigarette smokers do it every day. Few are born with addictions to drink or drugs but brain chemistry can be overwhelming sometimes.
Most here will tell you that it will haunt you every day and that we are born this way. The referees are still working on that call.

I used to smoke and every once in a while I think about it. I stopped overnight 15 years ago (before I knew I had cancer) --but I didn't QUIT. some years later I developed lung cancer,lost a lung, and every once in a while,I get a craving to light up, but I enjoy living (and have lots yet on my bucket list) --such as it is--to start up again, so I just enjoy the aroma when my lady friend smokes. Put your clothes away, put a value on your life that dressing would diminish, and start your life anew. If, in the future, things are different, you may want to "light up" again. But then, the choice will be yours.
Best wishes in your new life.

[ReineD]

Why are you on this site? It should be clear by now that we support the transgender scene and very few if any of us want to quit. I for one do not want to quit, and will not quit. You need to go elsewhere for information on quitting.

Teresa, it is very clear that YOU do not dress for fetish and you do not want to quit. That's fine. However, there are people who do, they don't all dress for fetish, and they've come here for advice before. ALL the members on this site are completely free to respond to such inquiries as they will, and it is not up to YOU to determine who should stay here and who should go elsewhere, nor is it your priviledge to speak for everyone else.

The author of the blog you keep wanting to refer Soccer21 to, considers himself a transvestic fetishist. If you disagree with this author, you need to go directly on his site and argue with him there and not in Soccer21's thread. There is nothing in Soccer21's post that indicates he would have anything in common with the author of the blog at stopcrossdressing.com.

However, IF Soccer21 decides to read the blog that you've referred him to, he knows about it now and surely he's old enough to come to his own conclusions, don't you think?

You asked for help.
Now OTOH, you are more than welcome to stay here. We will help you find that woman within. LOL

It is not up to you to determine that Soccer21 wants any different type of help that he has stated in his OP. And it certainly is NOT up to you to determine who is welcomed here and who is not.

[DaphneGrey]

I think if you really feel the need to stop you can. Just be sure you understand the reasons you want to. People can and indeed do change who they are for various reasons. It is not easy and more often than not many fail. But humans with the right motivation can overcome instinct. It is one of the things that separates us from animals. We can overcome anger, fear, addiction, etc etc ..... So if your reasons to want to stop are strong enough and you are committed enough you can do it. I would try and figure out what it is you are looking for.

I will share some personal info. I used to tell myself the same things. I have no desire to go out, I don't have a female name etc... I hid from those for a long time . I have no choice but believe you as a matter of fact I do believe you believe those things and they may indeed be correct in your case. Or at the very least correct right now. And right now how you feel right now has to be the basis for any decisions you might make. But don't do anything to drastic.

Just put it away if you need to. If the desire comes on strong after a long hiatus look at it again. Take stock in what is going on in your life as the desires come and go. That will help you understand motivation in many cases.

What ever happens don't beat yourself up either way. There are all maker of people here on the forum, friends, Therapists, even clergy if that works for you that can help you through your struggles.

[Voulez-Vous]

I hope you too will get to accept and enjoy this very special side of your life.

very special side of your life??? what???

[CINDYO]

and you are not happy about this? I do not get it, most crossdressers say it there was a pill to take to cure the compulsion, they would down a bottle. enjoy being normal

[suzy1]

very special side of your life??? what???

Some C.D.ers see it very differently. To them it’s something they do not get pleasure from but a curse and I am sorry if that is your experience of C.D.ing.
I presume it’s because of guilt or the problems that C.D.ing brings to family and friends.

But to many like me it is something special. And I think we that enjoy our feminine side are in the majority. I do hope so.

[Barbara Ella]

If you are meant to give it all up, you will. If on the other hand, for some reason unbeknownst to you or us, you are never meant to drift away from the life of cross dressing, you will continue. Maybe only sporadically, but you will continue just as many many of us have, until the realization that this is something within you. Only you will know hoe deeply it is part of you. Sexual activities may start at first, and not please you. You lmay come back later, and not have the sexual drive, no way of knowing.

The key is not to beat yourself up over this. Just go with your feelings, and if they tell you to stop, you should stop. Purge or not, your decision. Just be happy with it. Likewise, if you find yourself coming back to female clothing, do not beat yourself up over it. Do what your heart/mind feels at the moment, and embrace it until you are told/feel you must do something different. It is a terrific up and down existence we live. Just don't get unhappy with yourself for living it.

Barbara