Is that your bag sir?

[KlaireLarnia]

Today I left to go to work early, with it being half term and my daughter off school I was able to leave her with my wife and not have to take her to a day-care club as we sometimes have to. Anyhow it was a little cooler this morning so I put on my pale blue female hooded sweat top and off I went. As is always the case in my male ruck sack sits my female shoulder bag. There are a few reasons for this:

1) I always know where it is
2) I feel I have a piece of the "other" part of me on me at all times.
3) My money sits in a female purse, as I cannot get it out during work (for fear of anyone seeing it) I cannot spend money when the hot food van comes round.
4) It is like a comfort thing for me now.

I needed to get some bits on the way in so I could make a sandwich at work for a change. So I headed for my local large Asda which is a 24-hour one, knowing it would be open at just after 7am. I had made a plan in my head that I was going to keep my sweat top on but rather than put my bag under my top as I would normally in public, I decided I was going to leave it on show. I knew this would carry some... risks in the sense that it would draw odd looks and possibly comments but I wanted to do it. I know that to progress in what I do there are things that I have to do and experience I have to deal with. Having a bag on show is one of them.

It is amazing how many weird looks and (barely audible) comments I got - a lot of them from the Asda staff who where getting groceries for the people who do on-line shopping. While I did feel a tad out of place and uncomfortable, it was a case of grin and bear it. I was hoping only to be in there 10-15 mins. The thing is it wasn't the top that drew the comments and looks, it was the bag! As I man I cannot carry a shoulder bag. I can have a rucksack, a briefcase or a sports back but anything else is a no-go. In case you are wondering below is an image of the bag and purse I had today:

So why is it that a man with "the wrong bag" can cause more of an issue than a man who is wearing very obviously female clothes? In truth I don't know, I think it is do with the fact that bags (outside of the ones above) are really the domain of a woman and they stand out like a big black dot on a sheet of white paper. I suspect that had I held it in my hand with my basket it would not have have drawn any attention, but it being on my shoulder was like a sign above my head saying "LOOK AT ME!". What I find most annoying is the practicality of a shoulder bag makes them such a good thing to have on you. They hold your essential items without being too big and unmanageable like a lot of rucksacks are.

Given the looks I walked out of the shop today wondering if I would get a different reaction with a different bag. So if I had a larger bag (either Shopper style or just a larger shoulder bag) or one on a long shoulder strap so it was held lower on my body and not directly under my shoulder, would it make any difference? I am not sure that it would, but it is something I am considering. Now I have another bag which is a big large shoulder bag, but I don't have one of the shopper style ones - my wife does - but I don't. So I will have to consider borrowing one for a day and perhaps see how I feel with it.

Okay, this did not apply today as I was in men's clothes (bar my sweat top), but with women's jeans the pockets are often tidy in comparison to men's and this is one the biggest issues we face wearing them. They are designed to be more of an... addition and temporary storage place - rather than a practical and usable part of the jeans with men's. When designers come up with jeans for women they take into consideration that women have bags for most of the stuff they want to carry and pockets are not really needed. By choosing to wear female clothes so other things become necessary like bags and it is amazing how many people see this as an issue rather than wearing women's clothes.

I remember 4-6 weeks ago I was driving home from a business meetings. I was in full female clothes - presenting as always as male. I had the same shoulder bag as I did today on me. I stopped at a service station on the motorway to use the toilet and get some food. I was served in Burger King without any issues or comments. But then I went into the WH Smiths shop to get some RedBull and a snack for the rest of the drive. While deciding what to get I overheard a comment from one woman to (presumably) her friend which was "Look! A guy with a bag!!!". It wasn't the women's clothes she was commenting on, just that I had a bag - stop the world and halt all activity - A MAN WITH A BAG! Personally if that is the big issue with everything I do, then I have little to worry about...

I am not sure how I really feel after this morning. Glad I did have my bag on show, proud and happy I stuck to my guns with it. But at the same time I wish I could hide in plain site a little more. Take the positives and be happy, but also look at things and see what can be changed and then next time try again and see what happens.

[reb.femme]

Ah the joy of our normal society. Or maybe not.
Well done on pushing your boundaries, it's something I'm looking to do very shortly as part of my development.

I suppose it indicates a lack of manners on the part of these people rather than complete ignorance or maybe I'm being too generous?

Oh, and I had to say, .........nice bag and purse

Rebecca x

[KlaireLarnia]

I suppose it indicates a lack of manners on the part of these people rather than complete ignorance or maybe I'm being too generous?

Sadly given that I do not try and pass as female i half expect it, I just didn't expect to pick up on so much. It may have just been luck of the draw that there was a lot of staff and as I have seen they spend half the time talking and half the time getting the groceries. I just wish people would get over these opinions (I know wishful thinking...)

Oh, and I had to say, .........nice bag and purse

Thank you. The bag is lightweight and quite sturdy which is why I like it and also folds up nicely so go in my male rucksack without looking too obvious

[Dawn cd]

Your profile doesn't say where you live. Some places are more accepting. I always present as a guy in New York City but carry a women's shoulder purse—large and black like yours but with a longer strap. No one has ever said a word.

[whowhatwhen]

Good for you!
It's important to take the little things for yourself wherever you can and not let strangers take them away from you.

I always carry my purse with me, it's always over my shoulder no matter where I go.
Who knows, maybe you inspired someone else to start carrying a purse around!

[sissystephanie]

I carry a purse very similar to yours and have done so for many years. I carry it when I am in drab and when I am enfemme! Never have had any comments made about my purse, except when I went on a cruise with some friends. Then I wound up carrying things for a lot of the women, and even some of the men!! We went to Greece, Turkey, Italy, and some of the islands around there. So we did a lot of walking, and the people were glad to have someone else carry their stuff! BTW, I have 2 of those purses. One is Beige, and the other one is bright red. And I have been pretty much all over the U.S.A. with both of them, in drab or enfemme!!

[KlaireLarnia]

Your profile doesn't say where you live. Some places are more accepting. I always present as a guy in New York City but carry a women's shoulder purse—large and black like yours but with a longer strap. No one has ever said a word.

I have edited that now to show I am in the UK. While I think over here we have a fairly... reasonable attitude towards things women can be a little catty and snide at times sadly. It is just the way of some (but not all) women over here. I have learnt to ignore most of it and take pleasure in some of the remarks I hear as I do find them amusing at times.

There is a Chinese proverb which fits my situation perfectly: It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.

Maybe a motto and a road sign for my path going forward perhaps...

[Eryn]

The only issue I can see with concealing a femme bag in your rucksack is that someone might leap to the conclusion that you've snatched it!

I carry a shoulder bag in drab that looks like this except that the orange panel is violet:

http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4069/4...c703131a_z.jpg

It doesn't look particularly femme or masculine and no body has really commented on it. It's big enough to carry the things I need but not so large as to become a garbage bin. Really durable too!

[Cynthia Anne]

My purse goes with me all the time! No matter how I'm dressed! never heard a bad comment yet! Not even in auto parts stores! I know some are staring at me but I don't give a rats----!

[KlaireLarnia]

The only issue I can see with concealing a femme bag in your rucksack is that someone might leap to the conclusion that you've snatched it!

To think that they have to see it and besides in the purse which is always in that bag is my photo driving licence which clearly shows me on it. So I partly have a way to show it is mine.

I carry a shoulder bag in drab that looks like this except that the orange panel is violet: http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4069/4...c703131a_z.jpg

Where did you get that bag from? That does look rather nice in fairness and something I may want to consider as an alternative when in male clothes.

[Beverley Sims]

I carried a long strap shoulder bag through the "states", UK and Europe. It was a larger one and I used it primarily as a camera bag.
It was soft inside, had plenty of pockets, I would lose my makeup and money in it sometimes.
I may be hard of hearing or presented female on a number of occasions and even as a guy I do not think I was ever ridiculed.

[Eryn]

Where did you get that bag from? That does look rather nice in fairness and something I may want to consider as an alternative when in male clothes.

The company is called Timbuk2. My bag is called the "Click" but they don't seem to make it any longer. A very similar bag is the Express:

http://www.timbuk2.com/tb2/products/express-tote

You might be able to find them through Ebay.

[bridget thronton]

I wear a bag all the time regardless of how I dress - can't imagine hauling my stuff without one

[Tracii G]

Don't always carry a bag in guy mode but have before.Nothing was said about it.
I do carry a womans wallet all the time just because They carry both change and paper money and check book.
Seems handy to have all in one.
Here is todays purse a Vera Bradley

[daarleane]

I have been carrying a purse for several years now. I occasionally get comments but really nothing bad. Just mostly comments from friends. for me it is just a way of life and I wouldn't go back to doing without one. a women"s wallet is great for carrying receipts if your a DIY type.

[kimberly ann487]

I find it funny that of all the things we as women wear,carry etc. a bag is the most practical. What with a walet, cell phone, keys and what ever, not mentioning girly things, I'm much more comfortable carrying a bag.

[Jeninus]

When my wife and I went on vacation in Key West back in January, I carried a large canvas purse I purchased at LL Bean. It was initially a matter of being jealous of women who almost invariably carry huge "purses" onto planes in addition to their carry-on bags, while we men are limited to the one carry-on bag. It worked like a charm and I filled it with my iPad and numerous other items. I then used it during the rest of the trip -- so very handy! None of the TSA people made any comment; and one woman passenger said to me that it certainly made sense. Her husband looked a bit uncomfortable, as though he thought he might be the next candidate for a purse-carrying chore.

I always carry a small black unisex-style bag you can pick up at highway service plaza kiosks for about $12.00 (they don't last long) that has a long shoulder strap. In addition to my wallet and cell phone it normally holds contact lens fluid and case, reading glasses, pens, a notepad, receipts, car keys, Ventolin inhaler and other stuff. My pockets stay flat. As kimberly ann noted, they're practical and you really don't need to be traveling en femme to carry one.

[reb.femme]

I always carry a small black unisex-style bag you can pick up at highway service plaza kiosks for about $12.00 (they don't last long) that has a long shoulder strap. In addition to my wallet and cell phone it normally holds contact lens fluid and case, reading glasses, pens, a notepad, receipts, car keys, Ventolin inhaler and other stuff. My pockets stay flat. As kimberly ann noted, they're practical and you really don't need to be traveling en femme to carry one.

Hang on, hang on.......are you sure this wasn't a large travel case?
Any more items and it would take one of those on-stage, professional memory acts to recite the list.
I was just waiting for the mention of a cuddly toy and a fondue set.

Rebecca x

[Jeninus]

Hang on, hang on.......are you sure this wasn't a large travel case?
Any more items and it would take one of those on-stage, professional memory acts to recite the list.
I was just waiting for the mention of a cuddly toy and a fondue set.

Rebecca x

Well, sometimes I do have to stuff the petrol receipts into my shirt pocket. This cheap bag (made in a land where Chinese labour rates are deemed far too generous), also features a zippered back pocket into which my passport can be fitted. A recurring nightmare is leaving that bag in a restaurant after which misadventure I become an unperson.

[Eryn]

A recurring nightmare is leaving that bag in a restaurant after which misadventure I become an unperson.

One of mine too! I always keep the strap of my bag looped over my knee and keep my car keys in the purse, not my pocket. If I do manage to walk out of the restaurant without my bag I won't be driving my car away!

[AshleyScott]

Mes amis, bonjour from France... where it is a legal requirement to always have with you your identification papers or passport.

If you are driving a vehicle, you must also have with you the vehicle registration document and the insurance certificate. If you leave either insurance certificate or the vehicle registration document in the vehicle and the vehicle is stolen, it invalidates the insurance.

So most men in France carry a bag

But still it's mostly females that make a fuss when I dress in a skirt and heels - even though I never try to pass as a girl.

[Jeninus]

Mes amis, bonjour from France... where it is a legal requirement to always have with you your identification papers or passport.

If you are driving a vehicle, you must also have with you the vehicle registration document and the insurance certificate. If you leave either insurance certificate or the vehicle registration document in the vehicle and the vehicle is stolen, it invalidates the insurance.

So most men in France carry a bag

But still it's mostly females that make a fuss when I dress in a skirt and heels - even though I never try to pass as a girl.

Once again, proof of the practicality of the bag. Funny how our Anglo culture frowns on "man bags." Females making a fuss of men wearing skirts and heels...they do protect their fashion sphere...mostly with disdainful and sarcastic comments. Too bad we only got Ds in "Women's Studies."