So far only my stable girlfriend knows about me crossdressing. I'm 24 and I have been thinking about how telling friends about my CD habbit will impact my reputation. So now I will dress up and go out with my girlfriend when its 12am or something just window shopping or go to parks, because I don't want to accidently bump into friends. Also, telling my parents might make them worry or angry. How about you? Do you keep it as a secretly forever? Or did you tell your family or friends?
My wife knows. She first discovered me about 10 years ago, but we never really spoke about it properly until about two years ago when I finally could not keep it a taboo subject anymore. No one else, family or friends know. I have no immediate plans to tell them...however if they find out, I will have to deal with it - or rather, they will. It will be a true test of family bonds and how true friends are. My only concern in any of this would be if my kids found before I was ready to tell them. I would much rather the latter happen on my terms. I am sure my parents would not deal with it well, especially my mother. It is not something I particularly want to test at the moment, so maybe that is one secret I will keep from them forever.
I am out to the world, BUT not out to family, friends, and all the other male mode acquaintances. I see no reason to do that at the moment. Who knows what will happen in the future and I will deal with that then. In your case, only do what you think is best for you, and remember what you let out of the bag now cannot be stuffed back in later if you ever regret telling someone.
I'm out to one very close friend, I told her becuase, 1. I thought she'd be accepting, ( was she ever! ) 2. I hope that we'll be more than friends, and I couldn't keep that from her.
If we do start a relationship, I don't care (much) who else might stumble on it.
You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to.
Go out with your GF and don't worry about getting caught.
If you do get seen well deal with it and see who your real friends are.
No sense in hiding and worrying thats no fun enjoy yourself.
My ex wife and I talk and she wanted a recent pic of me so I sent her one in my sort of male mode and she asked are you wearing girls jeans? I said yes.
She said well they look good on you they show that cute butt off.
She asked you going out tonight with friends? I said yes we are going to a drag show.Keep in mind she never knew of my femme side.
A DRAG show YOU? I replied yeah they are pretty cool I enjoy them.
The subject came back around "you ever dress in drag? Sure I have done it a few times and she said wow really that is pretty cool, you have a pic of you dressed up?
I sent her one and she said wow you sure are a cute woman.
That was it and she never called me a freak and pervert so I call that a win for me.You never know so if you feel the need to tell just drop small hints and let them ask you the questions.
Last edited by Tracii G; 08-02-2012 at 12:07 AM.
Hello Kristy,
Depends on how accepting they are.
I would not just tell anyone. Wait until there is a need to tell them, if you are presenting as female all the time or want to go full time. Otherwise keep it secret keep it safe...
♥
Noemi
polythene pam
My mother, my brother, and one of my two sisters know (my father is deceased). My brother & mother I did not tell, per se; my mother found a video I had made. She shared it with my brother, seeking his opinion (my brother is gay; I guess my mom assumed he'd have insight). The sister who knows is the only person I have ever outright told; ironically, she already knew. Many years prior, she had found the same video (apparently I wasn't as clever about hiding it as I'd thought), but had never said anything about it. She and I are very close, and I wanted her to know.
I am glad they know. They are accepting (although I don't expose them to it; my CD'ing is private), and while I can't say they necessarily understand it (I'm not sure ever *I* understand it!), I have had several detailed discussions with each of them. It has been a relief to have someone to talk to on occasion (other than a therapist; I *have* told therapists in the past, but then again, that's kind of the point in going to therapy).
I have never told any friends. Like I said, it's private, and I think there's no "need to know" as it were. Some I feel certain would be unfazed, and we could probably talk openly; others I'm not sure would be able to handle it. I think even the proudest, most open CDers on this site would concede that cross-dressing is certainly far from the norm, so I can't hold it against anyone if it's just a bit more than they can get their head around. My need to share has never been so great that I thought it was worth putting valuable friends in an awkward situation.
One past SO knows; I told her, but not willingly. A counselor gently pushed me (it was probably the right decision). She had a very difficult time with it (although it had nothing to do with our eventually separating). My current SO & I are in the process of returning to being just friends. It's a very sad thing for me, but "it is what it is." She does not know that CD'ing has been part of my past (I have not been "practicing" while we have been together), but the dissolving of our romantic relationship has left her as my closest friend, and I find myself wanting to share that with her.
You are *tremendously* fortunate to have an accepting SO. This site has lots of excellent advice on how to treat someone so special. I encourage you to read it.
As far as telling family goes, if they didn't know already, I would probably tell the members I am closest to. I can tell you that it has been very reaffirming that their knowledge of my CDing has had no affect on their love for me, and it's been something we can even joke about. I encourage sharing it with family members you are close to and trust; friends I think are another matter, and I would be very cautious about that. But that's just my opinion, of course.
Last edited by Silmaril; 08-02-2012 at 12:07 AM.
Some friends know, the family does not
My wife knows i dress, but she is not happy about it, she doesn't want to see it etc. She is the only person i've told. I've been to fancy dress (costume) parties dressed as Katie, so i think some of my more observant female friends may suspect i dress more than once a year, i've been asked on more than one occasion if i'm wearing mascara when i'd dressed the previous evening. I also keep my eyebrows neatly plucked so that is a bit of a give away. They have never directly asked me if i cd regularly, so i haven't told them. I think my sister may suspect that i dress too, from when we were little. But again nothing has been confirmed. I have no intention of ever telling my parents though. I don't think either of them would take it well, but my mother would possibly be more accepting.
Katie
The wife and a bunch of acquaintances.
Not close family and friends tho.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
my wife, three sister inlaws, a neice, a couple of girls at works some sales associates, and oh yes I went in feme to my last high school reunion, small class of about 25 in New Hope Pa. where I grew up.
Wife found out 5 years ago....followed by my sister in law last summer, then my 2 daughters, and then my other sister in law and my 3 nieces, and now other people know as well....once the genie's out of the bottle there's no puttin that stopper back in!
My wife knows, my adult children and their spouse's know, 4 close female friends know (the rest are all strangers to me)
My wife, our kids and grandkids from both sides, several of their friends and a select few of our friends know. Have not told my close lifetime friends yet, but the time is coming. I'm older, so it is easier to not worrw about what they will say. But, I 've found that it is no big deal to everyone that has been told. It is all about yoiur own comfort zone and not someone elses.
I've told my closest friends and the people I work with. It was getting harder and harder to hide it, considering the physical changes that I have made this year, and more are on the way. I figured the time had come to officially come out of the closet because I just couldn't continue hiding. I want to own this. I've gotten nothing but support, encouragement, and even a high-five.
MY wife, brother and sister-in-law are fully aware of what I do, why and what my reasons are for it. My daughter kind-of knows, I say that as she does see me in some female clothes but does not fully understand why or what it actually means (What I wear when she is around is basic female clothes which do not scream out "I belong on a woman not a man" if that makes sense).
AT least 2 of my wife's friends have seen me with nail polish on when I forgot to remove it and in truth I would prefer it if a few knew but that is something for my wife to decide and not me. Had my parent's still been alive they would have been told in full by now but sadly it is a conversation I cannot have with them any more (a serious regret there believe me).
Without my & daughter knowing I would probably have lost it by now, at least I have some freedom in my home thanks to them.
Out to my Mother (she would have to know, right?) and to one of my Aunt's. Two other cousins knew, but I do not talk to them much so who knows if they still remember. I was busted by some really great coworkers a few years back but we did not stay in touch. That's it.
My sister knows
She really doesn't care, it is my personal life. I thought to myself that this is never going to go away before I said it. Didn't get a bad response from her. Thought it would change her opinion of me, but she seem to keep see me as the same little brother she always had.
My ex wife knows, we are still friends. Both my daughters have seen me dresded. Billie Jean
My late wife knew that I was a crossdresser before we married. Our two children did not know until after she passed away. They have never seen me dressed and don't want to!! I also have a dear lady friend in Scotland who knows that I crossdress, but has also never seen me dressed. She is married and her husband, who is also my friend, does not know about my crossdressing.
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
my wife has known for a long time, but she's not much more accepting than when she first found out. My sister knows-- she's a social worker so she's kind of professionally obligated to be cool about it. ONe of my wife's girl friends knows-- we've talked about it once or twice int he past, but generally try to avoid the subject. Thats' about it
My exwife knew and told all my male friends after divorce i was mechanic so you know how that went over.My current wife knows but cant stand it at all .even though she was in a lesbian relationship and knew about me .hell even bought me stuff but one day said never wanted to see that part of me again im still married to her but now i dress for my happyness. lifes too short not to enjoy it
Every one who knows and sees me knows that I live my life to please myself! Sure has weeded out so-called friends and some family members too!!
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:
Some people know ,,But if you see me walking out in Public yull figure it out ,,, Can't hide it ,,,Mite as well divide it ,,,lol,,, Girls are pretty cool cuz we have alot in common ,,The guys ,,, They gotta put up the ol front ya know,,Makes um feel better ,, Been around an back twice an its way better here than where I was . Atleast Im sane ,, Well Kinda ,,, Well at least I'M Doing what I WANT ,,, Sane part was a joke yall know better ,,Lost my head ...lol...
Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,
My daughter knows - taken some time but she's amazingly cool about it.
(My partner knows too, of course...)
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