Male Mannerisms?

[the_shark]

Hey everyone. I got a question for ya. I've been told I can pass as a dude pretty well from you fine folks but someone brought up something interesting, mannerisms. This may seem like a no brainier or just stupid to all you lovely mtf people out there, but I'm just wondering if there are any specific dos and don'ts or just any other general advice on how to give off that male vibe so to speak without looking like I'm trying too hard. Anyone with anything to offer is more than welcome to answer this.
Thanks,
Adam

[Lorileah]

slouch, when you sit, sit with your knees apart and lean forward with your elbows on your thighs and your hands interlaced. Or on the other hand lay back and recline at every opportunity. When you walk do it as if you don't care about anything, shuffle or waddle. I think you personally would really pull off the James Dean thing. But mostly it is a slovenly sloppy slouchy thing like you are so worn out that you could melt. Remember when you meet another dude and you are shaking hands that you need to make it as big and grand as possible. Make a wide arc and grab tight. The harder you squeeze the more manly you are, don't be a wet fish. Laugh loud no matter what. Squint (Clint Eastwood did that( like you doubt or question what the other guy says.

this is so much fun, just like when the MtFs ask how a woman walks. There ain't a correct answr it is all stereotypes and the harder you try and copy it the more you will stand out

[AllieSF]

Good one Lorileah, you had me going WTF? there for a moment. Adam just watch and emulate where you think it works for you. If anything watch your girly squeals of delight and then bringing your hands to your mouth in surprise, fear or for whatever reasons a lot of girls and women do that. A slouching guy, me sometimes, can look like a real slob and your male pic definitely does not look like that. Just be yourself and enjoy.

[the_shark]

Good one Lorileah, you had me going WTF? there for a moment. Adam just watch and emulate where you think it works for you. If anything watch your girly squeals of delight and then bringing your hands to your mouth in surprise, fear or for whatever reasons a lot of girls and women do that. A slouching guy, me sometimes, can look like a real slob and your male pic definitely does not look like that. Just be yourself and enjoy.

Will do Allie! *squeals in delight* Just kidding. But I will watch for that, I don't think I do that but who knows. Thanks!

[Lorileah]

And if anyone interrupts you, keep talking like you didnt hear them.

did you say something? now as I was saying

[Eryn]

There is a difference in conversational styles. Males are competitive and "I can top that" is a common mode of communication. Be careful not to get caught in an exaggeration! Males develop a "pecking order" in groups with one dominant person who leads the activity. The dominant person may change if the activity or composition of the group changes. When in doubt, it's better to be a follower than a leader.

When walking go straight in the direction you intend. If you encounter another person intersecting your path the person who yields is usually the smaller of the two. The exception is women who are sometimes given deferential treatment.

When arriving at a door at the same time as another man, the one closest to the handle opens the door and passes through. Men do not generally hold doors for each other unless they are holding the door for a group walking together. If a gentleman arrives at a door at the same time or slightly ahead of a woman he will hold the door and allow her to enter ahead of him. If the door opens inward he will pass through the door and then hold it for the woman. If the woman is accompanied by others the man will hold the door for the entire group. The technical exception to this door rule is elevators, where etiquette requires that the man enters the elevator first.

When walking or driving you are allowed to look around! Men avoid eye contact with other men unless they are conversing directly. If you do inadvertently make eye contact simply nod slightly and look away. Don't smile.

Persephone's restroom etiquette video was hilarious but has a lot of truth in it. The key is space, you want to be as far away from other restroom occupants as possible while still achieving your goal. Talking is, of course, verboten. Men tend to be very brief in their use of the sink (if they use it at all).

[the_shark]

There is a difference in conversational styles. Males are competitive and "I can top that" is a common mode of communication. Be careful not to get caught in an exaggeration! Males develop a "pecking order" in groups with one dominant person who leads the activity. The dominant person may change if the activity or composition of the group changes. When in doubt, it's better to be a follower than a leader.

When walking go straight in the direction you intend. If you encounter another person intersecting your path the person who yields is usually the smaller of the two. The exception is women who are sometimes given deferential treatment.

When arriving at a door at the same time as another man, the one closest to the handle opens the door and passes through. Men do not generally hold doors for each other unless they are holding the door for a group walking together. If a gentleman arrives at a door at the same time or slightly ahead of a woman he will hold the door and allow her to enter ahead of him. If the door opens inward he will pass through the door and then hold it for the woman. If the woman is accompanied by others the man will hold the door for the entire group. The technical exception to this door rule is elevators, where etiquette requires that the man enters the elevator first.

When walking or driving you are allowed to look around! Men avoid eye contact with other men unless they are conversing directly. If you do inadvertently make eye contact simply nod slightly and look away. Don't smile.

Persephone's restroom etiquette video was hilarious but has a lot of truth in it. The key is space, you want to be as far away from other restroom occupants as possible while still achieving your goal. Talking is, of course, verboten. Men tend to be very brief in their use of the sink (if they use it at all).

I knew absolutely none of this accept hold open the door for a lady. Fascinating. Especially the whoevers smaller yields thing. I'm 5'10" so I'll most likely be the yielder more often than not ha. Don't smile. Ah, gotta work on that one. When you're so used to doing something... Ah well. Society makes parameters and we just have to choose which ones we abide by and who we want to be. I still have yet to watch the video but I am about to right now. Thanks eryn.

[Eryn]

I knew absolutely none of this accept hold open the door for a lady. Fascinating.

Of course, the main rule is that the other rules are flexible! They are more attitudes than a set of instructions.

[the_shark]

Good question, Adam. Somewhere around here is a sticky thread about improving your voice. The easiest thing to do is watch the tone of your voice at the end of sentences. Alot of womens voices tend to go up, as if theyre asking a question. Mens voices tend to go down. And if anyone interrupts you, keep talking like you didnt hear them.

I think the voice might be my downfall so I'll go check that out. Thanks man.

[RADER]

Shark:
Just watch other men; Not all men act as slobs, yes some do, very common in a bar etc.
Some men walk around with a hand in their pocket, and like to talk with their hands, gestures.
If out think your voice is starting to raise up in sounds, just cough, a little, and clear your throat.
That might help you pull it off. Maybe try to have a dirty face, like you need a shave.
I hope these help you.
Rader

[the_shark]

Shark:
Just watch other men; Not all men act as slobs, yes some do, very common in a bar etc.
Some men walk around with a hand in their pocket, and like to talk with their hands, gestures.
If out think your voice is starting to raise up in sounds, just cough, a little, and clear your throat.
That might help you pull it off. Maybe try to have a dirty face, like you need a shave.
I hope these help you.
Rader

I'm not exactly the slobbish type myself. I'll just make sure I don't spend too much time washing my hands. Do guys my age still get voice cracks? I'm just short of 19. And how do you go about the dirty face thing you're talking about? I have a few ideas but I wanted to see what yours were.

[Persephone]

First, I have to say that "Duality" is superb! You definitely look good either way!

I agree with Lorileah, you appear to have that "bad boy" James Dean thing going for you so maybe warch some of his movies and see if the moves and manerisms fit you.

Basically, being a guy is about owning/occupying space, very territorial, and if it wasn't for the thin venier of civilization any situation that offered the least possibility that someone was "in your face" would be grounds for agression.

So be bold! And don't smile!

Really, that was a tricky one for me going the other way (MtF). Women catch each other's eye they smile a small smile at each other. Even if it is accidental eye contact with a total stranger across a crowded room. Women don't smile at strange men nor acknowledge them.

In boyworld it is pretty much the opposite. You can certainly look at women (that's even encouraged!) but you don't acknowledge them unless you are tryingto meet them (and maybe date them, or at least find out if you can take them to bed). Eye contact with other men is avoided unless they are your friends or family and even then eye contact is usually minimal. Watch two women having lunch together and then watch two guys.

But if you do happen to make eye contact with another dude, like walking down the street in the opposite direction or something, you nod without smiling.

Oh! One more thing! But you probably already know this one (as well as many of the others I've just written about). When you walk into the restroom you always go to the urinal farthest from any other guy. And definitely no eye contact nor conversation there! Even if you walked in with your friend and you two were discussing something when you hit the mens's room door.

An excellent presentation on men's room etiquette can be found here (contains audio).

Enjoy the new world, Shark!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[the_shark]

First, I have to say that "Duality" is superb! You definitely look good either way!

I agree with Lorileah, you appear to have that "bad boy" James Dean thing going for you so maybe warch some of his movies and see if the moves and manerisms fit you.

Basically, being a guy is about owning/occupying space, very territorial, and if it wasn't for the thin venier of civilization any situation that offered the least possibility that someone was "in your face" would be grounds for agression.

So be bold! And don't smile!

Really, that was a tricky one for me going the other way (MtF). Women catch each other's eye they smile a small smile at each other. Even if it is accidental eye contact with a total stranger across a crowded room. Women don't smile at strange men nor acknowledge them.

In boyworld it is pretty much the opposite. You can certainly look at women (that's even encouraged!) but you don't acknowledge them unless you are tryingto meet them (and maybe date them, or at least find out if you can take them to bed). Eye contact with other men is avoided unless they are your friends or family and even then eye contact is usually minimal. Watch two women having lunch together and then watch two guys.

But if you do happen to make eye contact with another dude, like walking down the street in the opposite direction or something, you nod without smiling.

Oh! One more thing! But you probably already know this one (as well as many of the others I've just written about). When you walk into the restroom you always go to the urinal farthest from any other guy. And definitely no eye contact nor conversation there! Even if you walked in with your friend and you two were discussing something when you hit the mens's room door.

An excellent presentation on men's room etiquette can be found here (contains audio).

Enjoy the new world, Shark!

Hugs,
Persephone.

Thanks Persephone. I'm terrible about the eye contact thing. Is it really that strict? I knew the nod thing but... Yeah, men's ettiquite is different. I'll watch a James dean video or two see if we compare. I think we just might. I did know the urinal one and I'm pretty excited to be able to use that one lol. And no worries, I stare at women constantly... Especially at work.... Backstage in the models changing tent we're all running around naked. Just about the only thing I like about my job getting to gawk at all the girls without em batting an eyelash. Usually that is. If I get a funny look all I have to do is touch her shoulder and tell her "oh, I'm so sorry. It's just, you're so pretty I couldn't look away!" and then she starts babbling on about her makeup or whatever and I'm off the hook. Lol. Thanks for everything.
Adam

[the_shark]

slouch, when you sit, sit with your knees apart and lean forward with your elbows on your thighs and your hands interlaced. Or on the other hand lay back and recline at every opportunity. When you walk do it as if you don't care about anything, shuffle or waddle. I think you personally would really pull off the James Dean thing. But mostly it is a slovenly sloppy slouchy thing like you are so worn out that you could melt. Remember when you meet another dude and you are shaking hands that you need to make it as big and grand as possible. Make a wide arc and grab tight. The harder you squeeze the more manly you are, don't be a wet fish. Laugh loud no matter what. Squint (Clint Eastwood did that( like you doubt or question what the other guy says.

this is so much fun, just like when the MtFs ask how a woman walks. There ain't a correct answr it is all stereotypes and the harder you try and copy it the more you will stand out

Lol, hey, I don't mind hearing the stereotypes. Take 'em with a grain of salt and tone 'em down. You're funny by the way. I like that. The Clint Eastwood bit was my favorite. A western show down every time I meet someone eh? Better get my guns out *flexes biceps* Nah, I'm just playing with stereotypes now. You're right, it is a lot of fun. And I probably could do James dean lol.

[the_shark]

Jesus. Thank you so much. I read that before I went to bed and let it soak in being the volume of information that it is and then read it again when I woke up. I can't thank you enough for putting that much time and effort into doing me this solid. Wow, I'm impressed. Awesome Debbie. I definitely get the whole violence thing because I was beat up a lot in elementary school for numerous reasons I just lost that sensing instinct in my teens. I'll watch for that. Anyway, thank you.

[Tracii G]

Some very good advice I have nothing to add.LOL
James Dean was the king of cool IMO so a fine male to pattern yourself after.
Good luck I'm sure you will do fine!

[the_shark]

Some very good advice I have nothing to add.LOL
James Dean was the king of cool IMO so a fine male to pattern yourself after.
Good luck I'm sure you will do fine!

I'd agree! Although, I'm gonna sip the "die young" part and just "live fast"

[Tracii G]

For sure we want you around here for along time Ha ha.

[Kate T]

A lot of male interactions and mannerisms are sort of just an exaggeration or "stronger" version of female mannerisms. As Lori said, Shake hands with a firm grip, widen the hand as if you are intending to control when the contact breaks off. A pat on the back becomes a slap on the back.
Men rarely hold their hands together. Men will cross their arms a lot more than women.
With conversation think about being in control. Men but in, they don't wait for someone to finish speaking. They will generally use shorter sentence structures in conversation and will typically use active verbs rather than passive verbs e.g. "He said" (male version) vs "I heard him say" (female version).

Good luck

[the_shark]

A lot of male interactions and mannerisms are sort of just an exaggeration or "stronger" version of female mannerisms. As Lori said, Shake hands with a firm grip, widen the hand as if you are intending to control when the contact breaks off. A pat on the back becomes a slap on the back.
Men rarely hold their hands together. Men will cross their arms a lot more than women.
With conversation think about being in control. Men but in, they don't wait for someone to finish speaking. They will generally use shorter sentence structures in conversation and will typically use active verbs rather than passive verbs e.g. "He said" (male version) vs "I heard him say" (female version).

Good luck

That's an interesting way to look at it from an exaggerated standpoint. So it's all about being in control eh? I can do that ha. And I'll keep the verbs thing in mind that's also an interesting difference I might not have picked up.

[the_shark]

Thanks Eyrn and Tracii. I fully intend on being the classy guy. I'll keep chivalry alive and well. Not only do the girls like it, but it makes me feel more manly as well. so win win!

[RADER]

Debbiet;

Men will go into the military, take hazardous duty where death is high probability, because they believe, and are told, that if they survive, they will have their choice of women. Often, before a key battle, the front-line troops were fixed up with girls who were willing to have sex with the soldiers - so that they would believe this lie. Most of those who survived were just sent to one battle after another, eventually being wounded severely or ending up with shell-shock, battle fatigue, or Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome

What branch of the service where you in????
If you did not do what you where ordered to do, you either got a big Boot up your rear, or a firing squad.
Rader

[Tracii G]

In the military you do what you are told end of the story, battle fatigue everybody seemed to get it to some degree.365 and a wake up is all we had to look forward to.
Before a key battle they brought women in? I sure never saw that.No hanky panky allowed before a mission.
For me it was head to the ammo bunker and get my tools of the trade lay it out and prep mentally for the mission.

[the_shark]

So James Dean huh? Just watched this interview and I think that could easily be my style. I kinda have that smug persona to me naturally. And he's actually 2 inches shorter than me. Boy do I love being tall.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU5N2SrEaZI

[Lorileah]

this is more how I imagined you Shark
jdean.jpg