Boy, I can NOT catch a break!

[Sophia Claire]

I have a lot of stories, many of which involve someone saying "you can't make that stuff up." A large number involve me making something up. Here's my latest debacle.

So last night I got dressed up. In my room. Didn't go out at all, minding my own business. in fact, I was enjoying a quiet martini in my room (I don't drink alone very often, in case you were wondering), which was a misstep, since I then had to go to the restroom. No sooner did I step out of my room and close the door behind me than the other bedroom door opens! I didn't think I had a roommate! Dude keeps to himself. So I bolt into the bathroom and wait until I heard the door close again. I took off my heels and bolted for my room at light speed. Whew! Nobody saw me. the next day, my roommate came out and said "have fun last night?"

"huh?"
"don't 'huh' me, I saw."
I narrowed my eyes as dangerously as I could, folded my arms across my chest and said "you saw what, exactly?"
"relax, man, we all do it."
"that's not been my experience."
"well damn... Look, I'm not going to tell anybody. What's her name?"
"'scuse me?"
"the girl you hooked up with. What's her name?"
"Her name is Sophia. And we didn't hook up. She's a lesbian."
"... So... The girl leaving your room at three in the morning: not only did you not hook up with her, but she told you she was a lesbian?"
"not exactly. I know she's a lesbian. I've caught her having sex with a woman."
"but you didn't hook up with her. She was in your room until three in the morning and you didn't hook up?"
I sighed. "we were drinking and she came back for a nightcap."
"which is code for sex."
"yeah, she just wanted one of my martinis."
"so... You tried to 'nightcap' a lesbian, she took the drink and left?"
"that's Sophia for you."
"damn, dude, you can't make that stuff up..."
"yeah, I hear that a lot."

[ColleenA]

Great story. I especially liked:
"... I know she's a lesbian. I've caught her having sex with a woman."

[Jolene Robertson]

Sophia, I'm still LMAO. You think on your feet quite well. I would still be standing there with that "deer in the headlights stare". Thanks for sharing.

Hugs
Jolene

[crystalbath]

LOL that is amazing

[Raychel]

That is very funny, Thanks for sharing it with us. Close call.
I have one of those lesbians that comes over my house now and then too.

[dominique]

That's worth inclusion in a book of cd excuses lol

[Cynthia Anne]

Every time I think I heard it all somethings like this happens! That Sophia girl is quite the lady!

[Mollyanne]

Sophia Sophia Sophia, BAD GIRL BAD GIRL!!!!!!! SHOULDN'T LIE TO THE ROOMATE, ONE DAY THIS MIGHT COME BACK AND BITE YOU!!!!!! BUT GR8T AND FAST THINKING.

MOLLY

[Sophia Claire]

Every time I think I heard it all somethings like this happens! That Sophia girl is quite the lady!

yeah, Sophia is kind of a bitch... Who the hell agrees to go back to a barracks room for a nightcap, has a nightcap and leaves?! I wanted to mention that Sophia and I go way back, but that would have required devising an elaborate backstory on the fly. I'm good, but I'm not THAT good.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sophia, That was a great story I almost fell off my chair laughing.

[Marlana]

That was some fast thinking Sofia. Straight faced and lied like a rug! Well done girl, well done indeed!

[Sophia Claire]

That was some fast thinking Sofia. Straight faced and lied like a rug! Well done girl, well done indeed!

I got my kicks in the fact that not one shred of what I said was an actual lie. Dishonest as hell, but not actually a lie. It amuses me. >: )

Which, come to it, might not be a good thing... Social norms suggest that I should feel some kind of remorse for having deceived my roommate, not amused because he lost a game he was too dense to even know we were playing. I mean, there's at least a 60/40 chance that he saw my face during this, and let's face it, my narrow ass doesn't really match my wide shoulders...

[katie_barns]

That was hilarious. I was never fast enough to come up with things like that. Once a buddy found one of my bra's in my car. He made a joke about whatever girl owned it going home without her bra. I told him it was mine. He laughed and said "relax you don't have to lie, I won't tell your wife." Go figure!

[ronda]

that is funny(i caught her having sex with a woman) you do think fast on your feet i an still LAMO Hugs Ronda

[Nichola]

"you saw what, exactly?"
"relax, man, we all do it."

lol, you did good.
At this point, I would of cracked & said so you crossdress too?

[Beverley Sims]

I have told the truth before when clothes have been found in my car.
No one believed me.
They wanted to meet the girl.
One of my buddies did meet her driving my car and was still none the wiser.
It probably helped that I had three other girls with me and that distracted him.

[Sophia Claire]

lol, you did good.
At this point, I would of cracked & said so you crossdress too?

Don't think I haven't thunk it. I was an interrogator for a while. Another job where it pays to be able to think quickly and rapidly adapt to changing circumstances.

[bridget thronton]

Great story and quick on your feet

[larry]

Thank you for starting my day with a smile.

[EllieOPKS]

OK, that's funny. So with a glass that is half full : You know you are passable if you are bare foot and moving at the speed of light! I like your style.

[Lady Panda]

I have a lot of stories, many of which involve someone saying "you can't make that stuff up." A large number involve me making something up. Here's my latest debacle.

So last night I got dressed up. In my room. Didn't go out at all, minding my own business. in fact, I was enjoying a quiet martini in my room (I don't drink alone very often, in case you were wondering), which was a misstep, since I then had to go to the restroom. No sooner did I step out of my room and close the door behind me than the other bedroom door opens! I didn't think I had a roommate! Dude keeps to himself. So I bolt into the bathroom and wait until I heard the door close again. I took off my heels and bolted for my room at light speed. Whew! Nobody saw me. the next day, my roommate came out and said "have fun last night?"

"huh?"
"don't 'huh' me, I saw."
I narrowed my eyes as dangerously as I could, folded my arms across my chest and said "you saw what, exactly?"
"relax, man, we all do it."
"that's not been my experience."
"well damn... Look, I'm not going to tell anybody. What's her name?"
"'scuse me?"
"the girl you hooked up with. What's her name?"
"Her name is Sophia. And we didn't hook up. She's a lesbian."
"... So... The girl leaving your room at three in the morning: not only did you not hook up with her, but she told you she was a lesbian?"
"not exactly. I know she's a lesbian. I've caught her having sex with a woman."
"but you didn't hook up with her. She was in your room until three in the morning and you didn't hook up?"
I sighed. "we were drinking and she came back for a nightcap."
"which is code for sex."
"yeah, she just wanted one of my martinis."
"so... You tried to 'nightcap' a lesbian, she took the drink and left?"
"that's Sophia for you."
"damn, dude, you can't make that stuff up..."
"yeah, I hear that a lot."

That story made a great laugh first thing in the morning. While laughing.... the conversation Between Ben Kenobi and Luke Skywalker about Darth Vader came to mind.....where he says that essentially most of our truths aren't lies but are the truth because they come from a certain point of view. Which is what you did. You told the truth from a certain point of view.

I applaud your fast thinking. and the fact that you stayed as close to the truth without giving it all away or blatantly lying.

I mean afterall it is your roomate , not a SO or Gf ...No harm no foul.
Thank for a great morning chuckle.

[Kelli Ca]

You are so right you can't make that stuff up. Good thinking and way to go keeping your wits about you. Funny

[Amy Fakley]

"relax, man, we all do it."
"that's not been my experience."

lost it right there. excellently played.

[Patrice_CD]

Great story! I like how you think so quickly. Brought a smile to my face.

[Debra Russell]

Will be grinning th rest of the day .................Debra