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Thread: So what did your parents do when you told them.

  1. #1
    Junior Member Sarah27's Avatar
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    So what did your parents do when you told them.

    I told my mother about 5 years ago over the cellphone on a elevated highway in a city while I was leaving a psychologist. It took a lot of talking and my older brother's explaining to her later that night. My mom is slightly crazy I think. Something strange though is that she told me my biological father whom i've never met was also a crossdresser and that I've always reminded her of him and that's part of the reason for her hatred of the idea of it. My nonbiological father who has been there since I was three she actually told about 6 months ago after telling her even more and that it wasn't actually just about clothes and stuff and that I actually was a girl in my head and that everything that iv'e experienced since my birth has been trying to find a way to fit in and my male persona was a culmination of everything i've been trying to figure out how to fit into and a repression of my true self, I brought down a bunch of my clothes and shoes to show her that it was just normal clothes like jeans shirts and shoes to make me feel like a normal girl every night, she seemed cool with it, then the next day she freaked out on me with my dad and said the most incredibly hurtful things to me, but when I walked out the front door in bare feet and a t shirt in light snow and left she yelled after me and said she wasn't a psychologist and blamed me for having thrown all this stuff on her and they said they didn't know about me like this for the last 27 years while they've been saying horrible things about people like me and making me feel like I do today. So now everyone just pretends it doesn't exist. I apologize for the long post, I write everyyything when i'm drinking, lol.

  2. #2
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    My dad said "I did not know you where a fagot" and mom just giggled a little bit.

  3. #3
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Dad had passed away nearly 15 years before; mom was taken aback, finding out that I had been sexually abused for seven years when I was a child, and she obviously had no idea. Then again, she didn't really pay any attention to either myself or my sister when we were growing up, it was always all about her. Since then, she has at times acted as if she were responsible, but continues to manipulate both myself and my older sister for her own purposes. Any time the subject of my crossdressing is even touched on (I asked if I could have her 'Woman within' catalogs when she was done with them), she minimalizes the topic and moves on immediately. Clearly she doesn't want to talk about it.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  4. #4
    Follow your dream.
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    Both parents accepted it. My dad was (surprisingly) cool with the topic; my mother kind of pretends it isn't true and avoids the topic.

  5. #5
    New Member Mathilda's Avatar
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    They don't know, It's my business and my business alone.

  6. #6
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    My dad never learned during his life, so far as I know. My mom, being a taciturn Scandinavian farm woman, just accepted it quietly and went on with life as though nothing had changed. Perhaps, nothing had changed. I was still the same person she brought into the world and she probably knew more about who I was than I did.

  7. #7
    Gold Member DonnaT's Avatar
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    My dad's passed on. My mom is quite accepting and has given me clothing and earrings.
    DonnaT

  8. #8
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    My parents thought normal teenage boy masturbation was sinful and screamed and yelled even about uncontrollable wet dreams. They would have beat the crap out of me, if they knew I cross dressed. Sometimes I think they may have suspected, but, never really caught me in the act. Their view of gays was intolerance. You youngsters should be glad you did not live in the 1950's and 1960's, at least as far as expressing sexuality.

  9. #9
    Girl from the Eagles Nest reb.femme's Avatar
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    Hi Sarah,

    Mine never knew, but as extreme homophobes anyway, it's unlikely they would have loved this weirdo!

    Personally, I would never have told them........they were not the kind of people that had independent thoughts.
    Most of their world was gleamed through crap, low-end UK newspapers and similar acquaintances.

    Rebecca x
    Flying high under the spell of life!

    http://www.rebsweb.co.uk

  10. #10
    just Khelli mykhelee's Avatar
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    If my Father had found out when I was a teen he would have beaten the **** out of me...my Mother never really cared whether or not I was breathing.
    Jus' tryin' to send and understanding your way.

  11. #11
    Gold Member Marleena's Avatar
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    Nothing....I didn't tell them either. My dad who left when I was 5 passed away. I think my mom would enjoy hearing I'm TG but in a sick sort of way. I think she'd enjoy knowing I was different from the norm. I'm not about to make her happy.

  12. #12
    Always be happy Mistybtm's Avatar
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    They don't know as far as I know. I used to hide my moms stocking that i had under my matress when I was living home, they seem to disaper one day with out A word. So maybe they did.
    Mistybtm

  13. #13
    Member Sophia Claire's Avatar
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    I went home to visit my folks for my birthday and I told my mother that I was giving advice to a couple of transgender folks in my local area and she freaking unspooled on me. Every offensive term, prejudicial stereotype, and condescending thing she could think of to say (fortunately, my mother isn't as quick on her feet as I am), she said. She wouldn't listen to reason, wouldn't hear facts, and wouldn't let it go. I didn't want to have to do it, but the only way I could end the conversation is to question whether or not she even liked me as a person. We didn't talk much for the rest of that trip. She's lived such a sheltered life, and it's something that she's very sensitive about. She's been a home body since she was 14, so she's not had the experiences and the exposures that my father and I (both sailors) have had. He'd probably be cool with it. "Makes sense. You always did hate playing sports, dressed well, and walked funny. And let's not forget the slip we found in your room when you were 15... Yeah, I'm not really surprised when I think about it. Your mother is gonna flip, though, when I tell her."

    Short answer: I will never tell them. Ever. It's not worth it.

  14. #14
    Makeup addict!
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    My parents do not know

  15. #15
    Fashionista JeanneF's Avatar
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    My dad passed away when I was 21, so he never knew. I told my mom about 5 years ago. She wasn't surprised at all. She said that she had found my stash of clothes (and pot) for the first time when I was 16.

    I'm open with her about it now...she's never seen me dressed, but I try to have lunch with her about once a week and she'll make off-color jokes and comments about it. We have a really good relationship, I'm glad I told her.
    "There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. "

    - Anais Nin

  16. #16
    Member Melissa.Lynn88's Avatar
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    I told my mom a few months ago and my dad doesn't know. My mom has been good with accepting it. She is trying hard to understand my feelings and will ask questions and try to have conversations with me about it. Though sometimes this happens a little more than I'd like.
    ~~Melissa~~

  17. #17
    Member Amymonroe's Avatar
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    I will never tell my mother, not after what i had seen when my brother in law came out of the closet and started to wear my sisters cloths. he even admitted to them that he is in the process of transformation. my dad i'm still not sure about. my step sister knows and others too. my SO included.

  18. #18
    Full-Time Duality NathalieX66's Avatar
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    My parents are divorced.

    They both seen this picture:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/nathali...in/photostream

    My mom just thinks I'm an artsy type who does weird things.

    My dad is too scared to respond, even though he is is infatuated with movies like Tootsie, Mrs Doutfire and pop musicians like Elton John. ....generational issue.

    I'm going too have to have a conversation with them that I am a gender non-conformist. I am transgender. It scares me too much , but it is what it is.
    Last edited by NathalieX66; 08-09-2012 at 10:08 PM.

  19. #19
    Junior Member Madam Rose's Avatar
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    My mother still loves me but is still getting use to the idea that I'm a crossdresser however my father thinks I'm gay. But he still thinks that because I eat Chocolate mint Icecream and like anime. And so sorry for what happen to you. But you are who you are and nothing can change that. Maybe she will get use to it. If not then it's up to you if you want her in your life or not. Also on a lighter not she said your real dad was a CD. Well guess your a chip off the old block then huh?

  20. #20
    Aligning her body & soul sierra_g's Avatar
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    My dad and I have emailed back and forth more since Renee outed me, than we ever have. He tells me that he loves me, but cannot accept this. He doesn't want to see me once I go full time. I am a disgrace to the family name (I am the 4th). My mom doesn't know yet.

  21. #21
    Girl from the Eagles Nest reb.femme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madam Rose View Post
    My mother still loves me but is still getting use to the idea that I'm a crossdresser however my father thinks I'm gay. But he still thinks that because I eat Chocolate mint Icecream and like anime.
    Eek! I like mint choc-chip ice cream. Does that make me partially or totally gay?
    Just when I thought I'd got it all worked out and bang........I'm mint choc-chip gay!

    Rebecca x
    Flying high under the spell of life!

    http://www.rebsweb.co.uk

  22. #22
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    my mother wanted me to born girl child. she used to dress me in girl clothes when i was infant . when i grew up she changed and when i used to get caught wearing my sister's clothes she used to get mad at me i will never tell her otherwise she will never talk to me

  23. #23
    Member SuzanneS's Avatar
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    I think I was in 5th or 6th grade when I started writing in a diary. I'm pretty certain that my Mom read it...she had to have. I remember writing in it that I "wanted to be a girl so bad" and would do "anything to be a girl". I think I was in 7th grade when I decided that it would be best if I burnt/destroyed that diary, so I did. I'm still 99% certain that my Mom read it, but she's never said a word, yet.

    Suzanne

  24. #24
    Frenchtoastowls Antoinette's Avatar
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    My mom and grandmother said they'd always love me no matter what. As long as I'm safe and not hurting anyone or myself then it's no problem. My father on the other hand I still don't feel comfortable telling him yet. My mom warns me not to mention it to him. So for now I won't.
    Finally got to making a facebook
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003854850084

    And now on instagram (got sucked into the hype). I go by frenchtoastowls. Yea you read that right!

    If you're gonna add me just give me a heads up on who you are
    please

  25. #25
    Silver Member Angela Campbell's Avatar
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    My mother is all I have now, but I wouldn't tell her because it would be too big of a shock and would unfairly change her life too much. I love her too much to cause stress in her life needlessly. I am what I am and I have to live with it and that is fine with me, but there is no need to make others live with the possible embarrassment it may cause if I tell them. It took me 50 years to accept it, she does not have that long.

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