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Thread: Omg! It's 'illegal'?!?

  1. #1
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    Exclamation Omg! It's 'illegal'?!?

    I just found out that the military immediately discharges anyone who is transgender, even if they have no intention of transitioning.

    I am...well, scared. I am getting a divorce, finally accepted myself as a transgender, decided to come out of the closet a little, and now I could lose my entire career?

    Not only that, but my professional life after the Navy could be at risk too, since the discharge can be negative, and even include jail time (rare, but it has happened)!

    My life as I knew it could literally be over, or I have to continue for at least four more years, KNOWING that they don't want me...could catch me at any time...and courtmartial me for not turning myself in and ending my career myself.

    I am VERY scared now. I've contacted the SLDN, but haven't heard back yet. Anyone have any experience with Gender Identity Disorder or Transgender and the US Military?
    -J

    God gave me free will, my choices are my own. Knowing right from wrong takes a lot of prayer and study. I refuse to accept or make excuses for my own actions, desires, or beliefs.

    "life begins at the end of your comfort zone." - Neale Donald Waslch

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    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
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    yes, it's a very lopsided policy, especialy since the military made such a big deal out of having a GLBT recognition MONTH ! Sigh, until being CD/TG is no longer a 'mental disorder', those of us in the militay will still me in the closet. Should'nt Corpral Klinger be a General in the Pentagon by now?, with the abilty to change this unjust policy ?
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    Just keep it under wraps until your time is up.
    No sense in Pi$$ing in your cheerios

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    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I was in for awhile. I found that ANY similarity to life in the Army and REAL LIFE is purely coincidental!

    U want life to be FAIR? Don't volunteer, ladies! U could STILL get S-----d any day of the week in REAL LIFE! But, I think u may quadruple your odds of getting S-----d by entering any of the Services!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

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    The UCMJ can be used quite broadly, however my experience is that they only discharge sailors for cause. If your professional performance gives them a reason to discharge you, they will then find the justification. Do your job well, and don't bring your gender issues into the work environment and you should be safe.

    I would be more concerned about a vindictive ex-wife than the UCMJ.
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    Sheren Kelly

  6. #6
    Aspiring Overlord Bree Wagner's Avatar
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    Jessica,

    The real question is what do you mean by come out of the closet a little? If you don't flaunt it at work or show up dressed you're quite safe. Even if a whiff of it gets back to your CC it is completely within their purview to go so far as to ignore it. They have a lot of latitude in situations like that. The only time it would be likely to come into play is if you are charged with something more serious and it was thrown on as an additional charge. So, keep your nose clean, keep it out of the work environment and you have almost nothing to worry about!

    While it's completely unfair that this is still classified as a dischargeable disorder I really think we're headed in the right direction, both as a society and as a military. No only is it wrong to do so, but to discharge qualified, patriotic people for no good cause (just as we did with homosexuals) in this era of a highly stressed all-volunteer force is ludicrous.

    All the best,
    Bree

    Quote Originally Posted by CapHill Kelly View Post
    The UCMJ can be used quite broadly, however my experience is that they only discharge sailors for cause. If your professional performance gives them a reason to discharge you, they will then find the justification. Do your job well, and don't bring your gender issues into the work environment and you should be safe.

    I would be more concerned about a vindictive ex-wife than the UCMJ.
    Hehe, posted at the same time I was writing and I completely agree. The UCMJ is not out to get you!
    Last edited by Shelly Preston; 08-10-2012 at 02:53 AM. Reason: merged - please use the edit button

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    Life, only in color! MAJESTYK's Avatar
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    Just another example of the "T" being hung out to dry by the rest of the community.....
    Very sorry to hear about the predicament, try to keep it as out of sight as you can. It will pass before you know and then you'll be in the clear.
    Well behaved Women rarely make history

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    Senior Member Debglam's Avatar
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    Admit to NOTHING! They can discharge you for the action, not what someone (your ex) says about you! Bottom line is that they have to PROVE that you are a TG or CD.

    Now take a deep breath and wait to hear what the SLDN folks have to say. You will not do any jail time and you will not be given a "bad" discharge! It is not as bad as you seem to think but I would be very discreet and cautious.

    I spent a career in the Navy and one of my collateral duties was Legal Officer. I retired four years ago so some things may have changed but probably for the better rather than worse.

    Kelly's advice is on-point.

    Good luck and take a deep breath! Your unit probably has bigger fish to fry!

    Debby
    Debby

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    You are all very right. In most situations I think you're right. I can probably keep my head down and make it through, but the additional issue is that I am in a highly trained and technical job that handles classified information and operates with honesty and integrity as a core requirement. I'm a nuclear operator. There is no second chane or over-looking in this community. If they get the whiff (say, ex-wife mentions it to a friend who puts it on Facebook, or a friend sees a bottle of perfume in my bathroom and puts it all together) now I am under investigation for a psychological disorder. Even denying everything will still keep me from doing my job as the investigation disqualifies me (guilty until proven innocent), and unless a lie and purge everything before they see it, I'm done.

    Honestly the biggest problem I have is that I don't want to serve dishonestly in a field where I AS THE INSTRUCTOR get to influence and train young sailors to be honest and have the balls to stand up to anyone when they are right. I hate hypocrites...wouldn't that make me one?

    I am going to wait for the SLDN. Working a few extra days under this new information wont bother me...but maybe this is a chance to stand up for the T part of LGBT. I am still going to go to my LGBT church and the CATS support group this weekend. That's what I meant by coming out of the closet. I was going to come out to immediate family and start openly talking about it with a civilian support group...but I don't think THAT will be safe if getting 'caught' is an immediate negative discharge. Now, if it's still likely to be honorable and civilian power plants don't care...well, life goes on then. Maybe I should get discharged and fight against a stupid policy. Can't fight it in here...
    -J

    God gave me free will, my choices are my own. Knowing right from wrong takes a lot of prayer and study. I refuse to accept or make excuses for my own actions, desires, or beliefs.

    "life begins at the end of your comfort zone." - Neale Donald Waslch

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    you have kept it secret for this long, just step back and keep in secret for a few more years. If you have been in the military that long, you surely must have been aware of the consequences, why the panic now

  11. #11
    Member Sophia Claire's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JessicaVal View Post
    ... but the additional issue is that I am in a highly trained and technical job that handles classified information and operates with honesty and integrity as a core requirement. I'm a nuclear operator. There is no second chane or over-looking in this community.
    Allow me to lend a machete to your ethical thicket. As a career military intelligence professional, I can tell you that there is a distinct difference between honesty and openness. Your being a TG is none of their business, so it's not dishonest to conveniently fail to mention it. BTW, my recent PR failed to uncover it so don't worry about that too much, just use a proxy server to post here if you feel uncomfortable about that. And I really doubt that failing to turn yourself in will exacerbate the situation. Besides, exacerbate it from what to what? "You're fired" to "you're super-fired"? Because being a TG is indicative of GID, the discharge would be on medical grounds. Not dishonorable. You have to feed the admiral's dog through a wood chipper to get a dishonorable discharge these days. I went to mast twice in a week and they're considering an honorable discharge for me.

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    When I was stationed in Germany during 1970 we had a man stationed not far from us who also happened to CD. There were numerous articles about him in the militarys Stars and Stripes. As far as I know, no action was ever brought against her.

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    Just A Simple Girl Michelle.M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JessicaVal View Post
    I just found out that the military immediately discharges anyone who is transgender, even if they have no intention of transitioning.
    You're kidding! Seriously? How is this news to you? Surely you did not think that repeal of DADT also included TG protections, or did you?

    A web search will direct you to the appropriate regs in each service dealing with this; in your case it's a NAVMED regulation. Start with NAVMED P-117 Change 126.

    Quote Originally Posted by CapHill Kelly View Post
    The UCMJ can be used quite broadly, however my experience is that they only discharge sailors for cause.
    No matter, it's not a UCMJ issue. It's strictly an administrative discharge, and in my experience those discharges are usually processed quickly and quietly.

    People assume the worst, that a dishonorable or general discharge is coming their way. Nonsense! The type of discharge will be the same as it would have been regardless of the servicemember's gender identity becoming known. In other words, if you're already eligible for an Honorable discharge you'd still get it, unless you screw this up.

    When these things end up as disciplinary actions it's because the servicemember goes haywire and ends up doing something stupid, like punching out his or her First Sergeant when frustrations boil over. I've seen it happen dozens of times. Keep your act together and the worst that will happen to you is that you get an admin discharge.

    On the plus side, once you get out if you're eligible for VA services the VA will provide your hormones.

    Quote Originally Posted by JessicaVal View Post
    I am VERY scared now.
    No need to be scared unless you've outed yourself. I was in transition for 15 months while on active duty and nobody knew.

    Quote Originally Posted by JessicaVal View Post
    I've contacted the SLDN, but haven't heard back yet.
    I don't want to sound cynical and I am certainly not offering anything that even remotely resembles legal advice, but I think the best help you're going to get from SLDN is already on their website:

    http://www.sldn.org/content/pages/transgender-service1

    Quote Originally Posted by JessicaVal View Post
    Anyone have any experience with Gender Identity Disorder or Transgender and the US Military?
    First, you need to remember that you're not alone. There are plenty of TG servicemembers, but as you've just discovered it's wise for us to stay underground. Some deal with it successfully throughout their careers; in my case, I left the service just a few months ago to complete my transition. I'd recommend that you consider one of those two paths. But being openly TG and in the military? Not really an option.
    Last edited by Michelle.M; 08-10-2012 at 10:42 AM.
    I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back keep me here to wait for me so I don't go back out and miss myself when I return.

  14. #14
    Gold Member DonnaT's Avatar
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    Yes, do not mention it to anyone else in the military. Unless caught, nothing they can do as long as you still have plausible deniability.

    Especially don't admit it to a military doctor, lawyer or shrink. They are under no obligation of confidentiality.

    The military's issues with Breanna (Bradley) Manning and Wikileaks is one reason they will have the current policies regarding transgender for a while longer.
    Last edited by DonnaT; 08-10-2012 at 12:54 PM.
    DonnaT

  15. #15
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    When it comes to a, "don't ask, don't tell", policy, I get the feeling that there is an ignore the problem and it will go away. If the military wants you to have a "life", then they will give it to you. Someone said, "Just keep it under wraps until your time is up", that sounds like good advice to me.
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

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    What "can" happen and what is likely to happen are two different things.
    Someone said about "having to put the Admiral's dog in a wood chipper to get a dishonorable" sounds about right.

    I think the worst case scenario is this - someone might mention to your CO that you are CD. They might call you into the office and ask about it. You deny it. They talk a big talk about "proud sailors serving their country" or UCMJ blah blah blah. You drop your pants so they can see what color panties you are wearing. You salute and excuse yourself once the CO is done blabbering. Life goes on.

    Yes I used to be in the military years ago. They knew i was going to a GLBT club on occasion (but I was not CD'ing back then), a couple times I flat out missed formations in the morning, and pulled a few other stunts worthy of a Beetle Bailey/Gomer Pile story. I never saw so much as an article 15 (or is it 13?)

    These "young sailors" you teach are at least 18 yes? Also, as long as you are not on some high ranking officer's shit list for something serious, you have nothing to worry about.

    Usually people on the shit list are the ones who flat-out defy their commanding officers. Or during AIT (A-school as the navy calls it?) we had a few people who somehow acquired a "No K.P. profile". Oh the Drill instructors LOVED to razz those folks.
    I am guessing you are not one of those. Just make sure and do your KP if you ever get it

    EDIT - DonnaT mentioned about Bradley Manning. I am not sure how that would connect to GLBT issues though. I mean Manning is up on espionage charges which is WAY more serious than being TG. Being TG might get one a stupid counseling but Espionage can carry a death penalty.
    Last edited by Nicole Erin; 08-10-2012 at 01:30 PM.
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    I would never argue with someone else's opinions or solutions for their own life. Having just accepted a part of my life I've been struggling with for over half my life, I loath the idea of shoving it back underground. I have not outed myself to many, but though the cat isn't out of the bag, the bag was loosened enough that I'm not entirely certain how far thf knowledge can or will spread.

    I am certainly a pragmatist and enlisted. Even in the nuclear community there are things that we do that aren't exactly within the rules, like cutting out of work early and telling the chief that we were on the boat cleaning...(he never goes down there, so it works) and I certainly wouldn't say someone is doing harm by keeping their private life private. However, I have always lived my life with open honesty, and this would be the first time I've done something that I know is completely outside the rules. Operating a nuclear reactor when the owners of said reactor believe I have a mental health problem...well, to be honest it's dishonest in my opinion. I wouldn't take the chair if I was drunk or high, even if I thought I was ok...so why would I take the chair with a mental health concern, even if I don't think it's a problem?

    Given my understanding if the NAVY, intentionally hiding would be very punishable. Turning myself in as soon as I discover the issue would be the honorable thing to do. I have been around awhile, but I had no idea gender identity did not fall under DADT. Now I do...I can quote instruction and paragraph number that makes me inelligable for military service. Do I think it's right? No...but is hiding? Again no. That and I don't want to shut this part of my life down. I don't know who I am...if I want to transition, if this is just a stress thing, or if I even want to do this ever again.

    I have calmed down a lot, and I appreciate each and EVERY opinion, even the ones I disagree with. I am waiting to hear back from SLDN to see what consequences I can expect if I come out, and what the proper channel is. If an honest, patriotic person is forced into an 'ethical thicket' like this, someone needs to fight it. I am less scared, nervous yes, but not scared. I am angry, though. There are so many good people being destroyed in the military, and I don't mean on the front lines. If this is truly where they have put me, and not just a misunderstanding on my part, than I am infuriated.
    -J

    God gave me free will, my choices are my own. Knowing right from wrong takes a lot of prayer and study. I refuse to accept or make excuses for my own actions, desires, or beliefs.

    "life begins at the end of your comfort zone." - Neale Donald Waslch

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia Claire View Post
    Allow me to lend a machete to your ethical thicket. As a career military intelligence professional, I can tell you that there is a distinct difference between honesty and openness. Your being a TG is none of their business, so it's not dishonest to conveniently fail to mention it. BTW, my recent PR failed to uncover it so don't worry about that too much, just use a proxy server to post here if you feel uncomfortable about that. And I really doubt that failing to turn yourself in will exacerbate the situation. Besides, exacerbate it from what to what? "You're fired" to "you're super-fired"? Because being a TG is indicative of GID, the discharge would be on medical grounds. Not dishonorable. You have to feed the admiral's dog through a wood chipper to get a dishonorable discharge these days. I went to mast twice in a week and they're considering an honorable discharge for me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Debglam View Post
    Admit to NOTHING! They can discharge you for the action, not what someone (your ex) says about you! Bottom line is that they have to PROVE that you are a TG or CD.

    Now take a deep breath and wait to hear what the SLDN folks have to say. You will not do any jail time and you will not be given a "bad" discharge! It is not as bad as you seem to think but I would be very discreet and cautious.

    I spent a career in the Navy and one of my collateral duties was Legal Officer. I retired four years ago so some things may have changed but probably for the better rather than worse.

    Kelly's advice is on-point.

    Good luck and take a deep breath! Your unit probably has bigger fish to fry!

    Debby
    Quote Originally Posted by Gillian Gigs View Post
    When it comes to a, "don't ask, don't tell", policy, I get the feeling that there is an ignore the problem and it will go away. If the military wants you to have a "life", then they will give it to you. Someone said, "Just keep it under wraps until your time is up", that sounds like good advice to me.
    Being retired reserve navy 5 active was long enough for me full time, but old navy statement is good for CD's, i dressed during my active days, but never on base, Don't ask, Don't tell Hang in there girl it will be worth it in the long run to finish your career , and thanks for serving are nation. Hugs.
    [SIZE="3"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"]Stacy Lynn Coral[/SIZE]

  19. #19
    Member Sophia Claire's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JessicaVal View Post
    I am certainly a pragmatist and enlisted. Even in the nuclear community there are things that we do that aren't exactly within the rules, like cutting out of work early and telling the chief that we were on the boat cleaning...(he never goes down there, so it works) and I certainly wouldn't say someone is doing harm by keeping their private life private. However, I have always lived my life with open honesty, and this would be the first time I've done something that I know is completely outside the rules. Operating a nuclear reactor when the owners of said reactor believe I have a mental health problem...well, to be honest it's dishonest in my opinion. I wouldn't take the chair if I was drunk or high, even if I thought I was ok...so why would I take the chair with a mental health concern, even if I don't think it's a problem?
    Your devotion to the Navy is most admirable. They would be doing themselves a great disservice by getting rid of you. Let me parry and riposte by pointing out that while it may be dishonest to lie about having a mental disorder, A) it seems that so far no one has asked and B) how is it any less dishonest than getting rid of DADT, having an LGBT pride month, and still kicking out anyone who falls under the "T"? And which is the greater evil? GID has nothing to do with your judgement in an emergency or during normal ops, unlike being drunk or high. Your reaction speed is not lowered, your ability to calmly act and contain a problem is not diminished by your predilection to wearing women's clothing, so the fact that GID is considered a mental disorder is irrelevant. In the parlance of the non-nuclear navy, "you're nuking it." Sorry, I had to say it at least once It's an issue of morality and appearances, and that's all it's ever been.

    Quote Originally Posted by JessicaVal View Post
    Given my understanding if the NAVY, intentionally hiding would be very punishable. Turning myself in as soon as I discover the issue would be the honorable thing to do. I have been around awhile, but I had no idea gender identity did not fall under DADT. Now I do...I can quote instruction and paragraph number that makes me inelligable for military service. Do I think it's right? No...but is hiding? Again no. That and I don't want to shut this part of my life down. I don't know who I am...if I want to transition, if this is just a stress thing, or if I even want to do this ever again.
    Again, you should get a NAM for your selflessness and devotion. That line of thinking applies to things like a heroin addiction or being approached by a foreign agent (which does happen, believe me). No reasonable person is going to require you to turn yourself in if you are in violation of any tiny rule. What do you think of a person who goes to sick bay every time their big toe hurts? S***bag malingerer, right? So why should you have to turn yourself in for something that doesn't affect your job performance?

    Quote Originally Posted by JessicaVal View Post
    I have calmed down a lot, and I appreciate each and EVERY opinion, even the ones I disagree with. I am waiting to hear back from SLDN to see what consequences I can expect if I come out, and what the proper channel is. If an honest, patriotic person is forced into an 'ethical thicket' like this, someone needs to fight it. I am less scared, nervous yes, but not scared. I am angry, though. There are so many good people being destroyed in the military, and I don't mean on the front lines. If this is truly where they have put me, and not just a misunderstanding on my part, than I am infuriated.
    You should be PISSED. Royally. I know I am. The injustice of it makes me sick. Especially when you consider that the military overlooked the fact that they are now berthing people who are sexually attracted to each other in the same berthing area (which is unfair for everybody, especially the gays. It would be like sticking me in the female berthing and saying "don't touch. Don't even look.") But apparently the clothes we choose to wear are problematic. It is truly unfair. But it's not as bad as perhaps you're led to believe. I live in barracks and I still dress almost every day. Going out is tricky, but it's incentive to take care of myself and pass as well as I can. No one here can tell you what to do, but Michelle makes an excellent point in that if you choose to turn yourself in or not deny it if someone makes a fuss, then it's a quick, quiet medical discharge. No big deal, and it won't stop you from gaining employment in the outside. If you choose to stay in, just keep it quiet. I've been asked before. I jokingly said "I'm under no obligation to answer you, chief" and that's all that ever came of that. A lot of people don't know that it's still a disqualifier. I know a lot of people who think that DADT going away means that any LGBT-whatever is just fine.

    Oh, one more thing: coasting under the radar is not hypocrisy. I know it seems like it, but it's not. Consider, 200 years ago, war was conducted by rank after rank of riflemen who stood across the field from the enemy, very open, no attempt to find cover and volley back and forth. The idea of using cover and ambush tactics on the battlefield would have been considered the height of cowardice. Nowadays doing things their way seems like suicide. Likewise, you can't beat the system by standing up to it. You have to take the modern approach. Live to fight another day.
    Last edited by Sophia Claire; 08-10-2012 at 02:24 PM.

  20. #20
    Nondressing CDer ReluctantDebutant's Avatar
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    Its strange the government's reasoning for wanting to ban TGs/CDs and alike. They believe they cannot be trusted with secrets due to the idea that they could be easily blackmailed.

    1st If anyone can keep a secret it is a CD

    2nd If they didn't need to keep it a secret no one could ever blackmail them.

  21. #21
    Member Sophia Claire's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReluctantDebutant View Post
    Its strange the government's reasoning for wanting to ban TGs/CDs and alike. They believe they cannot be trusted with secrets due to the idea that they could be easily blackmailed.

    1st If anyone can keep a secret it is a CD

    2nd If they didn't need to keep it a secret no one could ever blackmail them.
    You cannot conduct diplomacy, much less a war without secrets. Secrets are essential. You want to know what the best part about having a CD keeping the secrets is?

    SECRET AGENT MAN: "Tell us what we want to know, or we'll tell your entire chain of command about your little 'nocturnal activities.'"
    CROSSDRESSER: *laughs in secret agent man's face* "Be my guest, it would be a great weight off of my mind."
    SECRET AGENT MAN: *fumes in his chair like he was just put in time out by his mommy*

    The key is to be without shame. It has served me extremely well.

  22. #22
    Member Vanessa Storrs's Avatar
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    We Are Sombody!

    My first reaction was, "Somebody should do something about this." My next reaction was, "I am somebody." My congressman will be of little help but my two senators should be sympathetic so I will be contacting them as well as the Secretary of Defense and the Commander in Chief.
    We are somebody and if we take action we can cause change!

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    Quote Originally Posted by ReluctantDebutant View Post
    Its strange the government's reasoning for wanting to ban TGs/CDs and alike. They believe they cannot be trusted with secrets due to the idea that they could be easily blackmailed.

    1st If anyone can keep a secret it is a CD

    2nd If they didn't need to keep it a secret no one could ever blackmail them.
    I admit it, that thought got my laughing out loud...which is a nice change of pace. :-). Thank you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia Claire View Post
    In the parlance of the non-nuclear navy, "you're nuking it." Sorry, I had to say it at least once
    That too. ;-D. Very probably. Like I said, I am only talking about my opinion, but I have to ask...live to fight another day? What would I fight? What better day? I'm not saying I won't shut the closet door again, but I want to honestly consider if this day is the right time to start my fight. Good record, no NJP, and I am one of their better operators (don't like to brag, but evals and rankings don't lie). If they want to kick out a talented, patriotic, and straight sailor for something the civilian world doesn't consider a problem...what better place to start fighting from?

    Thank you for helping me get my emotions under control and start thinking rationally again. Don't know which way to go, and I still appreciate any advice anyone may have. You really are an amazing community!
    -J

    God gave me free will, my choices are my own. Knowing right from wrong takes a lot of prayer and study. I refuse to accept or make excuses for my own actions, desires, or beliefs.

    "life begins at the end of your comfort zone." - Neale Donald Waslch

  24. #24
    Member Sophia Claire's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vanessa Storrs View Post
    My first reaction was, "Somebody should do something about this." My next reaction was, "I am somebody." My congressman will be of little help but my two senators should be sympathetic so I will be contacting them as well as the Secretary of Defense and the Commander in Chief.
    We are somebody and if we take action we can cause change!
    Come on, ladies, we all know how these things get fixed. SOMEBODY TWEET LADY GAGA ALREADY!

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    Junior Member Madam Rose's Avatar
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    GA Pelham
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    83
    This is why I don't like the army. Shouldn't it be about honoring your country and fighting for whats right. But no they want to make us CDs as if where terroist.

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