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Thread: For those that are single

  1. #26
    Member StephanieJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smellymelly View Post
    Couldn't it also partially be that she doesn't think she truly knows you, or that she was tricked into marrying you?
    You are correct honesty is always the best policy. However therein lies the dilemma. Do you get all attached and then come out to your SO or do you tell them before the relationship goes to far. I told my wife about it a couple months into our marriage and she was accepting... for a while, then changed her mind. We both came away feeling deceived and cheated. I often ask myself - Would have been better to have told her up front and not get married in the first place? No, because there was so much other good stuff about our relationship. Much like Garth Brooks song - "I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance."

  2. #27
    Senior Member KellyJameson's Avatar
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    In my opinion..... I will repeat that because this is probably going to make someone angry, In my opinion...

    It is difficult sexually for a female with strong feminine energy to be attracted to a male who also has a strong feminine energy so it is not your crossdressing they are rejecting but your energy represented by the crossdressing because of how it affects them sexually (attraction)

    Think of it like two magnets where depending on what end of the magnet is trying to touch the other magnet they will attract or repel. It is nothing personal but only
    the expression of who they are (their energy)

    You see this energy expressed in all sexual relationships, top/bottom, butch/femmme, bi (movement between both energies), heterosexual,ect..

    Sexual energy is shaped by the energy of your soul which you were born with and could be called personality or temperament but is more than that.

    This is the paradox for feminine men who wish to attract or are attracted to a feminine female.

    I have never experienced problems with attracting women because I only move toward those whose energy is opposite mine even though I am not moving toward them but creating the circumstances where they become aware of me so move toward me as their energy would dictate.

    They engage me first in contact through their behavior which has many ways of being expressed but always with the same purpose even though the destination
    is not necessarily known for either of us because it often must be learned in time.

    I'm not manipulating them to do this but accepting both our natural energies.

    If you use the methods a man with masculine energy would use than you will be acting contrary to your natural powers (energy) so will be acting (playing a role as a performance using trickery) instead of being what you are.

    Think of water as a form of feminine energy, it flows around and even when it resists it does this by also changing shape so is very hard but soft depending on the force it encounters.

    Feminine energy dominates by not dominating so appears paradoxical because it is the opposite of how it appears and it is at its strongest when appearing weak. This has nothing to do with biological sex!

    Like water, move out into the world without any particular objective and emerse yourself without any other reason than just being in the moment.

    Hobbies,schooling,associations,volunteer,ect, anything that brings you into contact with others but only because you have a genuine interest in the activity and or pursuit.

    Let go of your need to aquire and instead replace it with the desire to experience without any wants attached other than what the experience will bring.(be curious)

    In my opinion (even though this will sound very controversial) it is not the crossdressing that is causing problems but the failure to recognized,understand and utilize your natural feminine energies to attract a female with complementary but opposite energy so even if you did not crossdress you would still have problems.

    Just as a male with feminine energy is in the minority so is a female with masculine energy so you will have to use numbers to your advantage and go out into and emerse yourself in a sea of humanity to find your complement.

    Introversion and passivity are your enemy if you submit completely to them but you can keep this quiet energy and stay true to yourself while being a part of the great
    spectacle called life, you must join in but you decide how to stay true to your essence.

    No one who is lonely wants to be alone and most of the world is lonely so the world is filled with people all having the same problem because the problem is created by
    not doing anything about it.

    When we cure our lonliness we also cure anothers but we must also let go of the cure by knowing the cure is available at anytime so we do not use others from a
    hunger born of passivity that feelings of worthlessness bring about.

    Feminine energy in a male because of societies sick values creates feelings of worthlessness that must be challenged.
    Last edited by KellyJameson; 08-12-2012 at 07:07 PM.

  3. #28
    Junior Member smellymelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StephanieJ View Post
    You are correct honesty is always the best policy. However therein lies the dilemma. Do you get all attached and then come out to your SO or do you tell them before the relationship goes to far. I told my wife about it a couple months into our marriage and she was accepting... for a while, then changed her mind. We both came away feeling deceived and cheated. I often ask myself - Would have been better to have told her up front and not get married in the first place? No, because there was so much other good stuff about our relationship. Much like Garth Brooks song - "I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance."
    i love that song first off. i see the problem with it. i told my lady after about 6 months of dating. and its been an up and down experience. but we are still going strong 5 years later. i just didn't want her to feel decieved. i think honestly i've just gotten lucky

  4. #29
    Silver Member STACY B's Avatar
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    Hell they gotta a bunch of GGs on here ,,,This very site ,,So ya better look around Sissta ,,There right here among us as we speak,,, Talk ya one up ,,Might have to move or make a few changes ,,But what the hell ,,,Ya only live once ,, Grab ya one of these Hot Babes ,,,You know what they LIKE !!!
    Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,

  5. #30
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    I'm going to go against the usual advice given on this forum. Or at least I'm going to make an observation based on all the postings I have read over the years. You actually have a better chance of staying married to a woman who finds out your secret than getting a woman who knows of your cross dressing to marry you. The vast majority of women really do not want to enter a relationship with a guy who wears a dress. Tell a girl after a month that you're a cross dresser? I am not advocating keeping a secret, but, it does seem after a woman has endured many years with a guy, she realizes there is much more to him than wearing a dress. It may be a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" marriage, but, many survive. Frankly, after many years of marriage I do not buy into the argument a woman's issue is deceit and keeping secrets. She just does not like cross dressing. She fears society's reactions, if the secret is known. Now, I don't blame her, but that's my personal opinion.

  6. #31
    Senior Member Kelli Ca's Avatar
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    As with the above post I was in secret for about two years then told my wife. She was accepting and is. Coming into accepting more and mor all the time. I. Did ask if she wouldve still gone out had. I told her at first and she said she wasn't sure but thought she would've been ok with it

  7. #32
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    I 've read all the other responses,I can't agree or disagree with them because they are thier life stories,so mine is that I have 2 very close GG's or shall I say women that I found while in my male role and to this day I can't remember how I told of my femme self.I have always been single and maybe one close call to marrage but I know I will always be single but never alone,after these 58 yrs. I don't believe I could make a good mate I'm too set in my ways.I have found that if you go looking for friendship not love you do not need to hide your CDing it will somehow surface in due time and if it's meant to be it will,just don"t dwell on the negative lifes to short ,enjoy being yourself and others will also.I hope I answered your question.Well bye-bye for now Lisa.
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  8. #33
    Member herwannabe's Avatar
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    I have been divorced now for 7 yrs, My X did not like me to dress, so all of my life I have had to hide the fact, now that I am single I dress in fem ALL the time at home. and underdress the rest of the time. But NO I have not found anyone to share my lifestyle with. I am to much of a coward to divulge the fact that I CD. But I have not dated since my divorce in 05 either. It is a lonely life that I have chosen and at times that I Hate my life, but I guess I will get over it! For the record this is the only site that I visit
    The reason you close your eyes when you dream, when you kiss, and when you pray is because the best things in life aren't seen with your eyes, but are felt with your heart.

  9. #34
    Makeup addict!
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    Yes, I know some girls who are perfectly fine with my crossdressing.

  10. #35
    Senior Member UNDERDRESSER's Avatar
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    I read the posts that advocate not telling, until various times later in the relationship. I understand where you are coming from, but it's not a course I feel comfortable with. In my case, although not in a physical relationship yet, we are moving closer each day. Because of the way we met, and issues she is working through, the whole thing has been based on a very honest and clear commucations. Almost clinical at times. Given that, and her intelligence and perceptiveness, I think trying to keep it from her would have been a non-starter. I didn't want to anyway, What we are building is something very special, if it works with her knowing everything, great, if she couldn't stand having her guy wearing panties, well, that's life. As it happens, it doesn't even seem to enter the equation as far as she is concerned. i feel very fortunate to have met her, whether or not we can make a go of it.

  11. #36
    Silver Member Angela Campbell's Avatar
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    I am getting a divorce now so I am not dating until it is complete. But when I do I think whoever I date will find out whenever we first have sex because I always wear panties under my male clothes and she will see that and when she does her reaction will determine if we go any further. If she accepts it we will discuss more and if she is into it cool if not she will just figure I am kinky. I will keep on looking for the one who is accepting and even into it.

  12. #37
    Junior Member Madam Rose's Avatar
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    mm I hope I can find a women because I like crossdressing and anime...also kinky stuff. But everyone who knows me accepts who I am. At work and my online and real friends.

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