Well.... it's been a week since I told my GF about Amy. She went camping with some friends over the weekend and had some time to think about it. She told me tonight that its a deal breaker. Its not something that she would be comfortable with. Its not that she isn't accepting, but she just isn't attracted to that. With that being a part of who I am, there is a part that she isn't attracted to. She said that she still would like to be friends with me, and not being friends would be a tragedy. She even said that she would like to go out as friends while I'm dressed sometime. So.... at least I still have a friend.
While I'm glad that I have gotten that part out of the way early. I'm still really feeling down and critical of myself. I knew that this was one of the possible outcomes. better now than later. Its just so damned depressing having something like this be the straw that broke the camels back. She said she likes everything else about me. That didn't make this any easier....
Every guy in the world would be ok if his girl put on a pair of jeans, a flannel shirt, ball cap, and no makeup. She could look manly as she wanted to. We would be ok with that. In a lot of cases that would even be considered sexy, but a dude in a dress is just a freak. Its such a double standard. Wish it wasn't so.... Preaching to the choir. I know.
I'm a little upset about this, but glad that it wasn't after we were married (no offense to anyone who is married and trying to come out!) Or a year down the road. She did tell me that she was glad I told her so early on. I'm not sure where to go with this.... Don't worry I'm not thinking of doing anything dumb. I'm not that upset or emotional, but still a little upset about it all.
I know there are women out there that can accept me. I just wonder if I'll ever find one before I'm old and decrepit. Maybe I'm suppossed to be alone...