Oops! Outed: Likely, Boned: We'll see

[whowhatwhen]

I think I may have outed myself in the worst possible way and boned myself in the process.
Since I know just how much people looooove reading script style conversations I'll do my best to recollect how it went down.

Brother: Time for a haircut man
Me: Nah, I'm growing it out
Brother: Seriously?
Me: Yeah
Mom: Why?
Me: Because I can, and I thought you knew already?
Mom: Oh right, you want to be a girl
Me: Yeah, is that going to be a problem?
Mom: Yes

She didn't look too happy after that and I quickly excused myself, cursing that I didn't lie or at least bend the truth a little.
There's no going back now, I can't unsay that and I'm still kicking myself.

That was about 45 minutes ago and I've been avoiding contact ever since.
Even worse, if she brings it up again I won't be able to lie either.

Let me clarify that I'm likely not in any danger of being suddenly thrown out, my worst fear all along was hurting people and it may have come true.

[STACY B]

Take it slow,,, They love you an will except it with time ,,,Just be nice an dont act like a baby,,, Treat them the way you want to be treated . Dont back off of the hair ,,, It helps alot .

[kimdl93]

Don't jump to conclusions. Give them some time

[Cynthia Anne]

I agree! Give it a little time! I have a feeling things are going to be just fine! Just don't push it nor give in! Hugs!

[sterling12]

Yes everybody had a very large "jolt." Suddenly, some suspected, unsaid, things got said. Now, everybody has to digest The Information, process it, and figure out a future strategy. That could be good or bad for you, and you won't know until it happens. But please, my worthless opinion counsels to "let it happen."

Don't start a confrontation just to guage their reactions. With luck, and given time; they will tell you they aren't happy, but that they can try to accept things and cope. Your Job is to make things as painless as you can. If you don't, it invites reaction and problems. We already had one person get assaulted and thrown out of the house. Let's not make it twice in a week!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[whowhatwhen]

I managed to avoid speaking for tonight, maybe tomorrow everyone will have forgotten or has a level head for discussing it.
I knew though, that at some point all of my changes would bring this about.

My next step was/is a haircut, but being in a complete female style as well as getting my eyebrows thinned out even more.
That is something I'm not willing to compromise on, I had mentioned to my therapist that to me, getting it cut short again or even growing it in a male style would be a cop-out.
We worked hard to get me to the point of feeling like I own my own body, I cannot let them make me change no matter how much I hate the idea that it could cause stress.

Honestly, in an odd sort of way I hope it is brought up again tomorrow.
I want it all to be over one way or another.

[nvlady]

The more this question comes up the more they will know the truth.
The more they know the truth the less this question will come up.

[Beverley Sims]

At this point, I think I would just go with the flow.
See what happens and definitely do not push it.
It will work out better as they take it on slowly.

[Tracii G]

Go slow and let them bring it up and tell the truth.

[Millie]

Be thankful you can grow hair, wish mine would come back. I'd do the same. Hang in there, be yourself, not what others expect you to be.

[Karren H]

Not like you locked your self into the fast track to womanhood.... next week if the subject comes up just tell her you changed your mine and now you want to be a fireman... or an astronaut...... Yeah... then things will be back to normal....

[whowhatwhen]

Not like you locked your self into the fast track to womanhood....

Rats! :P
So far it hasn't come up again, but I'm assuming it has to at some point.

Especially since I'm going to (hopefully) start looking less and less like a man as time goes on.
I'm not in any danger though, they're not transphobic, it's likely not what they'd hoped for their son though.

Thank you all for the replies.

[Marleena]

IDK just be yourself. You don't need to explain anything. If your mom is concerned she'll have "the talk" with you. She'll initiate it I suspect. Mom's have ESP as far as far I'm concerned so I wouldn't worry too much.

[whowhatwhen]

I hope so, because once I said it she kinda lowered her head into her hands.
But then again she'd just been out with my brother for a bit and she's extremely, super-mega, ultra pissed at him so I can't tell if what I said was the reason.

I feel so bad for her, aside from doing most of the cooking, cleaning up, and whatnot I cannot help her with the things that trouble her the most.

[Marleena]

I hope so, because once I said it she kinda lowered her head into her hands.
But then again she'd just been out with my brother for a bit and she's extremely, super-mega, ultra pissed at him so I can't tell if what I said was the reason.

I feel so bad for her, aside from doing most of the cooking, cleaning up, and whatnot I cannot help her with the things that trouble her the most.

Well she'll get through it I'm sure. All moms have to go through the rebellious stage with their kids. They expect it.

[May(be)]

Not like you locked your self into the fast track to womanhood.... next week if the subject comes up just tell her you changed your mine and now you want to be a fireman... or an astronaut...... Yeah... then things will be back to normal....

FireWOMAN*. as long as you can avoid talking about it with them until you move out, do so. Eventually, you might want to tell them, but do so when you can stand on your own two feet.

[BLUE ORCHID]

FireWOMAN*. as long as you can avoid talking about it with them until you move out, do so. Eventually, you might want to tell them, but do so when you can stand on your own two feet.

Is that what you call a lady fireman??

[bimini1]

Yes they always teach you growing up not to lie to simply be truthfull. Then when you tell the truth they crucify you for it.
In the immortal words of Jack Nicolsen " you can't handle the truth".

[Leah Lynn]

You can look at it this way; I'm transgender. I have a birth defect. I was born with a male body.

[Inna]

One thing straight, "YOU ARE NOT CAUSING ANYONE PAIN!!!!" pain will be there as it accompanies most of precious leaps of faith and growth. All you are doing is allowing your mother to see your pain, and have a chance to help you, to hold you when you can not stand on your own, to carry you over the ruins of false self into the light. You see, love needs a chance to shine, otherwise love is merely a comfortable poise.
What if you kept the secret in order not to hurt your mom, you held the pain within, you think she would not notice, she would not shed a tear when you are not looking, but her not knowing how to help, how to rescue her own child from darkness would have been the worst pain mother can feel.
You give her hope a chance to help, to clarify, to see you finally embrace joy and soar towards the heights of wonder and truth.

truth has an astonishing way to surface just at the most wright time, don't fight it, embrace your path as it unfolds, your truth, your love, your life, but not be surprised as pain will surely welcome you into its arms, but not to annihilate but to shed the deceit and sorrow deeply encrusted around your soul.
As every mother knows, the beautiful birth of her child, a wonderful human being born into reality of this meager place is surrounded with pain, but how precious of pain it is, only mother can know!

[Marleena]

If you're so worried about your mom what are the chances of you getting your own place and putting this off for a while?

[jenny76]

its so true, alot of mothers hate long hair on their sons.. its tough to deal with sometimes, just gotta bear with it..

[Barbra P]

. . .
Me: Because I can, and I thought you knew already?
Mom: Oh right, you want to be a girl.
. . .

Well the revelation doesn't sound like a bolt out of the blue, sounds like your Mother more than just suspected, it sounds like she already knew.

[docrobbysherry]

Well the revelation doesn't sound like a bolt out of the blue, sounds like your Mother more than just suspected, it sounds like she already knew.

That was MY first thot, too, Barbra! Since they already know, it doesn't sound like a big problem. If they aren't supportive, they're NOT likely to bring it up. Until u do something to piss off a family member. Or, throw it in their face!

[sometimes_miss]

Hope for the best, but don't make plans assuming anyone else will change their mind. It's been 14 years for me, and the family members that know, still want nothing to do with it. I hope you make out better than I did.