Since I started transition I have noticed that I get a lot of back handed complements, some are fine, some not so much. But what is the STRANGEST complement you have received since starting transition.
I was at my favorite trans-friendly dive bar when I got this one from a ciswoman, "My friend is straight, but out of all the girls here, you would be the one he would sleep with."
I had to be told it was a complement. still not sure though. At least she though it was?
I'm a little bit shy, a bit strange, and a little bit manic...
What she was saying was that you were better looking than all of the ciswomen in the place, sweet!
Just and older girl trying to experience all that life can bring.
"Life is not a dress rehearsal"
She was talking about the transwomen in the bar specifically, that's why the need for the "straight" reference....I think? But thank you!Originally Posted by Paulette
I'm a little bit shy, a bit strange, and a little bit manic...
I was called a dyke once when i was out running, no wig, makeup, etc. Since i am in that boy-girl/girl-boy stage, i took it positively
I've had 'dyke' twice when I wasn't even trying. Both times I thought I was wearing unremarkable man clothes. I'm sure it wasn't meant as a compliment either time, but I did find it encouraging anyway.
About a month before FFS and boobs, I was at Broadway Plaza in Walnut Creek (big outdoor shopping area) and I over heard somebody say "that dude's kinda hot". I didn't see who it was and I don't even know for sure that he was talking about me, but I was wearing tight jeans (7 For All Mankind so they were bootylicious) and a tight t-shirt, with my hair in the standard pony, so I internalized it.
Now sometimes when I'm getting dressed, I say "that dude's kinda hot", and it makes me smile.
I have been called a dyke a lot, especially when I had a pixie cut. It is super cute on me...maybe I should go back to it? But with the longer hair I do find navigation a bit easier for some reason.
I'm a little bit shy, a bit strange, and a little bit manic...
As I was pre-surgery although about 2 months on HRT and thought of my self as I have ARRIVED, lol, once at the club I was frequenting, a dude came up to me and said Oh gush you remind me of someone, wait wait I know the name.........................CARROT-TOP! Blood left my face, the matter of fact blood had left the building, I was horrified as the image of the somewhat marionettesque face of post cosmetic surgery carrot top came to view. That was a serious downer as I was hoping for someone a bit less messed up and perhaps more towards the other gender.
On the other hand about year post that episode in the same club a couple was staring at me talking amongst each other and staring at me again and again. I thought to my self, OK here we go again, all that commotion FFS and HRT and here they are probably saying "LOOK THATS A DUDE"
Minutes had passed as I was sitting at the table on the edge of a dance floor and the same girl had approached me and said " Hi, as we were dancing we couldn't remember the name of who you reminded us of but I just got it Michelle Pfeiffer, omg! You look so much like her! You are so beautiful!
Blood had left my face......but wait......this time I was simply astonished and soooo immensely confirmed and complete that the rest of that night shall remain in my memory forever marking change of hearts!
Strangest complement you have received?
From a woman in my apartment building. I was wearing a skirt, blouse, 1 1/2 inch open toe sandals, makeup and my hair had been permed in a female style a few weeks before. Was walking to my car as she had just exited her car walking back to the apartment building. She said "You look better than I do, and it pi**es me off!" I said "thanks, was trying to look presentable for a meeting I am going". Then she said "have a good evening" and that was the end of the conversation. A week later I was down in the apartment building lobby getting my mail. Only had on jeans and a woman's top and no make up and flat open toe sandals. She said almost the same comment to me as the week before. She wears mostly black pants and top or dark blue clothes. Have never seen her in a skirt/top or a dress or high heel shoes.
Well, I don't know if I'd say that this was strange, but it did catch me by surprise.
I was leaving church this morning and as I was walking (along with several others) to the parking lot I began to realize that a woman had been walking just behind me for about a half a block, so I slowed and turned to greet her. As I was saying "Good Morning" she responded by saying "You are always dressed so stylishly! I've been admiring your dress all morning!"
I sort of smiled to myself, knowing that she doesn't know that I am trans. For me to get fashion props from her was nice, especially since I'd stood out, and in a positive way, among all of the many cisgender women in church that morning.
I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back keep me here to wait for me so I don't go back out and miss myself when I return.
I think it was a compliment Abby, although about as backhanded as can be.
As for me, about the only one I can think of is back in the day when I used to shop at a little boutique chain called Ames, I walked into my regular store and the manager took one look at my outfit and called me b*#^h. I took it as a compliment, not only because I knew what she meant by it but also to be called that in such context by a natal female was sort of validating in a strange kind of way.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
Abby, I think your freind was making a complement... she said you are the most attractive out of the bunch of people she is familiar with... it doesn't say anything about your ability to rate high in any other larger group. Once I was out for a party dressed up as a witch bride and a guy said to me 'you are looking handsome tonight'... I thought he knew I was a guy and I said, in a male voice, thank you very much!... he then became suddenly lost for words...
Chickie
Thank you all for sharing. It is quite a tightrope I find myself walking. whenever I hear a complement I immediately think of a side show performer, "hey, your third eye looks really great today." I dunno, maybe insecurity? Needless to say, I have an issue or two with insecurity.
Some of the stories you have shared I have had happen to me or friends of mine. I'm thinking that the people offering the complements have good intentions, just not the knowledge of how to frame it so as not to be, or more to the point, seem offensive. To me anyway?
Last edited by abby39; 08-26-2012 at 11:04 PM.
I'm a little bit shy, a bit strange, and a little bit manic...
Not especially strange but very rude is comments that compare you to other trans women which has happened to me quite a few times "you look much more like a woman then XXXXX" - things like that.
A drunk girl at our apartment once told me that "I'd do you... either way" [as a boy or a girl]
After the party, my boyfriend told me she said the same thing to him.
To me at the time, because i have not been out mingling with other people, my wife said that i look so pretty. Now to me and just because it was strange at the moment and that it to ame from her, it was strange. Lol
Formerly CDGigi
That was a big compliment because she was saying that he still wanted you even knowing you were not a cis-woman coming from his own "straight" (if there is such a thing) mind-set.
It seems most compliments are done in a backhanded fashion, not to be cruel but because compliments are usually based on comparision.
It seems like an insult to hear that you look like a "real" woman but not when you see it from their perspective based on them making a comparision to what is and what was. This is one problem of carrying your history with you.
It is strange that a compliment can sometimes hurt more than an insult.
I hurt easily so I like being invisible and work towards that.
No compliments, no insults only neutrality that borders on indifference.
My ex-wife gave me a funny one back in 'I am just a CD' days. I was going out (for the first or second time) to a support group meeting and I was all dressed up.
I asked her to check outside before I went to car, just in case a neighbour was there. She said 'don't worry, they'll just think it was a girlfriend of mine visiting'.
She left me not long afterwards.
I had a Mia Farrow pixie type haircut when I was younger.
I am presenting as a guy.
A couple of girls in a group that did not know me said I would attract more guys if I wore a dress instead of trousers.
That BOosted my confidence and sent the rest of the group into hysterics as they did not know me as anything except as a guy.
A couple in the "know" could hardly contain themselves.
To answer the question.
You were obviously the pick of the bunch.
Last edited by Beverley Sims; 08-27-2012 at 03:18 PM. Reason: Answer Question.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Probably when my GG friend Jenn told me "your butt is getting big, but in a girl big way".
Ive posted this before but once, I was in line for the bathroom in a club one night and a 5'6" girl said "I wish I had your height."
I'm 6'1" and was in 4" heels. Don't know if I had passed and she said that to me girl-to-girl or was just being nice, but it sure did stick with me.
—Mikaela
I just showed a co-worker picture of Lucy and she said I looked just like a friend of hers
When in guy mode a stranger approached me and said I would make a cute girl did I do drag? very strange
After posting pictures from our night at the club on facebook had one of the female club patrons comment. She said I was foxy and then commented on us as a group. She thought we presented well and said " I always appreciate strong female role models, even if they have penises."
Sally
I cannot really get into some of the strange compliments I have gotten (forum rules). I have heard some crazy stuff though.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
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