Whenever it came to light from within that I did not view my self as totally male, I tried to find information in books and articles and websites like this one (and some not like this one) so I could make more sense of the jumbled up mess of me that was inside my head. One thing that was noticed immediately, and consistantly, was that CDs, TGs, & TSs involved in the community all use female names.
Well, I picked the female version of my name (jamie), and it was more of a security blanket than a representation of me. I chose it to fit in, and that is the only reason. As I have grown through discussions with my wife, and the trials we have had (even in our short time together), and a bit of therapy as well, I finally have the courage to make a stand for my own name and not try to fit to what is expected.
I like my name. It has a certain ring to it that I find appealing. It sounds beautiful to me. I like being James. I am me and I don't want to let anyone's expectations of me alter the me that I want to be.
I am not asking a question or expecting a response, I don't even care if this post gets deleted. I feel better while typing this, and I feel a great deal of personal growth has come my way because I couldn't have declared this a couple of weeks ago. I wrote in my "about me" section that I love being me, but the fact is I find that idea terrifying. This is a tiny, but significant (to me) part of me that I am claiming.
I'm James, and I'm Beautiful.