" But Tomorrow I Will Be Sober, And You Will Still Be a Fool"

[Lorileah]

Winston Churchill

Lesson 1...never go out on an empty stomach and decide to stop at the grocery store on the way home
Lesson 2...sometimes you cannot think of a come back quick enough to make the other person feel stupid


My primary purpose here is to get people out and in public because I believe that the more we are seen the less we will be marginalized, Most the time no one really pays any attention to me or they have the common decency to keep their narrow minded unwanted opinions to themselves. And let me add that usually I am a tough old broad who could not give two rips what another says. But still when you meet morons it does hurt.

Ok, cue music to go back in time. Night 3 of a series on the town, so the odds were coming up on me. Three previous nights where I was accepted and complimented on how I looked. Now I know I will never "pass" as a woman in real life. I have said that before and I will stay with that forever. No amount of cosmetics or surgery will ever get 100% of the people to see me as a woman. Don't care, isn't important. I have physical characteristics that will never change. I also present as a well dressed maybe business chic person. Not a garish or fetish person (not that I don't like fetish but that is another story for another site). Maybe I was feeling a little too confident...maybe.

(BTW the first night was piano bar...sing along or sing alone...freaky blonde in skirt and heels singing in a baritone...got raves...now back to the story)

Tonight I went out (OK don't look so shocked..). Was kind of a slow night, holiday and all. At 11, having had enough to drink and bored with the entertainment, decided to head home before I became bait for the local constabulary . Besides the two scallops for 13$ didn't fill me up. I have on many occasions stopped at the local grocery store to stock up while dressed . Never had an issue. Until tonight.

I had paid and was walking out with my two bags when I passed a woman, well shall I say dressed kind of "Who cares what you think...sweats and crocs are comfortable". I cannot go into detail because of site rules but just imagine...not pretty. I smiled at her (always smile they wonder what you are up to) and I could tell she was conflicted. Quietly I say "hi" (some, will say that is a mistake) and she looks at me and says "You are hilarious". I don't mind being funny, I work hard at being funny, but "Hilarious"? I was unprepared for that (I know hard to believe...the smart a$$ blonde didn't have a comeback). All I could muster was "uh..thank you? I guess?" But it hurt. Now the hurt is anger but it hurt. I wasn't going for hilarious. The woman evidently assumed that once again TG's are clowns. That we go out to make people laugh. I didn't insult how she was dressed (would have been easy though).

Afterward I had two great comebacks but it was too late. One was Churchill's quote when a woman at a party said told him "You sir are drunk" and he said "Yes ma'am, and you are a fool and tomorrow I will be sober but you will still be a fool" That is the truth. Fools are everywhere and though we may be unusual they will remain fools. I wonder now what made this woman so bitter that she felt she had to insult someone she didn't even know. How her mind could be so narrow that she believed that she was "holier" than thou.

Tomorrow morning I will awaken and still be me. A me that is confident and kind. Tomorrow she will awaken and still be....angry and rude. I like me better

(BTW don't order the scallops...at 6$ a piece you could get a full meal...)

[ReineD]

I'm sorry, Lori.

Put it down to ignorance.

Tomorrow morning I will awaken and still be me. A me that is confident and kind. Tomorrow she will awaken and still be....angry and rude. I like me better

Exactly.

[paulaprimo]

how miserable is her life that she needs to insult a stranger?? crap flows down hill so i guess you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
ignorant people never cease to amaze me. you are one of my favorites on this forum and i think you are gorgeous!!
you can always do what i do when i'm down in the dumps or having an "ugly" day...i go to walmart, look at all of the "people" in there shopping, and i suddenly feel beautiful and happy again...lol

[flatlander_48]

Bummer, kid. Too bad that people don't realize that everyone shouldn't necessarily be entitled to their opinions.

Anyway, the Churchill quote is something like:

Lady Astor: "You, sir, are DRUNK!"
Churchill: "And, you madame, are UGLY; but tomorrow I will be sober!"

[Maria in heels]

Lori...some people just don't have class, and that woman that you ran into definitely is one of those. I know that its hard for you not to feel down after a comment such as hers, but always try to keep in mind that we are who we are, and more importantly, a person like you is not ashamed to show who she is, and therefore makes you the stronger one of the two.
Kudos to you and those who just want to and show themselves.

[Angela Campbell]

The woman Churchill was speaking to then said "If I was your wife I would put poison in your tea." To which he replied...'If you were my wife I would drink it!"

I might have said to a woman dressed like that who told me I was hilarious is .....go look in the mirror!
What it comes down to is some people just hate a crossdresser. My ex wife was like that. You should have heard some of the comments she made when seeing one on tv. That is why I never told her. She wouldn't have said anything sao rude to the persons face but she would say awful things later.

[linda allen]

Many insecure people try to make themselves feel better by putting other people beneath them. Think back to when Southern white people made the black people ride in the back of the bus and wouldn't let them eat at lunch counters.

There's nothing you can do to change these people except set a good example for the rest of the people. They will still be afraid of you, but they will keep it to themselves if they don't think they are in the majority.

[Shelly Preston]

Three previous nights where I was accepted and complimented on how I looked. Now I know I will never "pass" as a woman in real life. I have said that before and I will stay with that forever. No amount of cosmetics or surgery will ever get 100% of the people to see me as a woman. Don't care, isn't important.
.

I had paid and was walking out with my two bags when I passed a woman, well shall I say dressed kind of "Who cares . All I could muster was "uh..thank you? I guess?" But it hurt. Now the hurt is anger but it hurt. I wasn't going for hilarious. The woman evidently assumed that once again TG's are clowns. That we go out to make people laugh. I didn't insult how she was dressed (would have been easy though).

I dont think many of us can pass 100 % of the time. If we are lucky we can create enough doubt that people will not be rude.

You will always get a few rude ones

Saying thank you may not have been the response you would like to have given but I bet it annoyed her as she would not be expecting you to say that.

It just proves you have more class that to argue with her

[kimdl93]

Snappy comeback or not, you conducted yourself with dignity ...something that lady may never do.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lori, You do know that you just can't fix stupid.

[linda allen]

.... At 11, having had enough to drink and bored with the entertainment, decided to head home before I became bait for the local constabulary . Besides the two scallops for 13$ didn't fill me up. I have on many occasions stopped at the local grocery store to stock up while dressed . Never had an issue. Until tonight.

I had paid and was walking out with my two bags when I passed a woman, well shall I say dressed kind of "Who cares what you think...sweats and crocs are comfortable". I cannot go into detail because of site rules but just imagine...not pretty. I smiled at her (always smile they wonder what you are up to) and I could tell she was conflicted. Quietly I say "hi" (some, will say that is a mistake) and she looks at me and says "You are hilarious". .......

Not to excuse this woman's comment, but it could be partly because, at least to her, you seemed overdressed to be shopping for groceries after 11:00 PM.

Unless we intentionally go out looking for trouble, we usually aren't prepared for this kind of situation so you probably did the best thing, just smile and move on. It could have been worse, three drunken guys looking for a confrontation.

[Stephanie-L]

Lori,
The best thing I can say here is, consider the source. From your description, she sounds like a low class, white/trailer trash type, if you are worried about the opinion of people like that, then you need some therapy girl, I recommend serious shopping. The only way I would let a stranger's comment affect me is if they were someone whose opinion I might care about, and since they are a stranger, that is not very likely. As to an appropriate response, a simple "Thanks, so are you" would have worked, or even "Takes one to know one I guess", or as was suggested, "Have you looked in a mirror lately honey?". Of course all of these are Monday morning quarterbacking, I probably would not have had a ready reply either. As you know, we have to develop a thicker skin than most just because of people like that, so don't let it bother you. You are a wonderful and lovely lady and I am quite pleased to know you via this forum, who cares what the rest of the world thinks..........Stephanie

[Anita Luken]

Hi Lori; 9 times out of 200 you are going to be greeted with a smile when approached by strangers, but the one super rude one will ruin your whole night. These people are rude to everyone they deal with and are a real pain in the A--. You are a beautiful lady and handle yourself well, most ladies on this forum would love to have half your self confidence and composure. Keep up your wonderful posts.

[Kelley]

Thanks for posting this story Lorileah. We read alot of posts about the wonderful times had when out and about but few about the bad experiences. As I am just starting to venture out myself, I am trying prepare myself mentally for that run in with ignorance. I know it will happen and hope I can handle it as you and so many others have. Thanks again for your help and encouragement to set myself free. I could never do it without the help of this forum.

[TGMarla]

You may be hilarious, but she's the one running around looking like a slob......in Crocs no less. There oughta be a law. I mean, please. You just keep right on being you. Maybe it's the CDs in the world who keep the elegance going in how women dress. But it doesn't seem to be working most of the time.

[Sophia Claire]

Don't let 'em get you down, hon. a-holes will be, and well continue to be targets for it.

"you, sir, are drunk."
"yes, but in the morning, I shall be sober and you will still be ugly."
Is how i've always heard that exchange told. Still funny. Remember that one in case you find yourself in this position again.

[Cynthia Anne]

Very true some people are fools! It amazes me how some of ''them'' go to great depts to prove that your opinion of them is correct! Hugs!

[Cheryl T]

When people like that say something rude just remember....An empty barrel makes the most noise.

[Gillian Gigs]

Winston Churchill, one of the greatest leaders of all time! He had an excellent grasp on the human character, and nature. As far as people go, I have heard an expression that goes like this, " in safety you make things idiot proof, until a bigger idiot comes along". There always seems to be a bigger idiot just around the corner too. If this is true, then, " even a fool is thought as wise, if they keep their mouth closed". You must have run into a idiot walking around the corner, who opened their mouth and revealed that they were also a fool! So we move on, because there are many corners to walk around!

[Debglam]

Tomorrow morning I will awaken and still be me. A me that is confident and kind. Tomorrow she will awaken and still be....angry and rude. I like me better

Hey Lori!

Sorry this happened but you GET it! You can't let other people spoil your fun. I guess a better way to put it is that you can't let them steal your joy!

I was out with my friend Melissa Rose the other night and we were having a lovely evening. We exit the theater and were walking down the sidewalk when a drunk comes up and starts with "Hey, I wanna talk to you. . . I know you two are guys. . ." etc. Yes, it was kind of unnerving (this is a "sketchy" neighborhood) and upsetting but I/we will be damned if one incident or several for that matter will take away the bliss of being myself and out with a good friend!!! Of course, the cocktail afterwards helped fade this into a distant memory!

This sort of thing is THEIR problem and not ours!

Debby

[Marleena]

Lorileah it might be a good thing that you didn't have a good comeback. That woman sounds like the type that would star screaming in the streets.lol. Once in a while we'll run into idiots, the majority of the times we'll enjoy ourselves. You're an old pro at this so I'm sure it didn't phase you much. Us other girls can learn a lot from you! Thanks for opening doors for the rest of us.

[Lorileah]

Shock turned to hurt and hurt turned t anger then anger is now who cares. If she thought I was hilarious last night (can one be overdressed? One should always look the way they want to be found if something untoward should happen...) she should see me today. Ball cap, hair pulled back, light make up (lipstick and eye liner and blush) fuschia polo and short shorts. AND I am going to Nordies Rack to look for shoes. This could be fun.


But remember, in the long run...it just doesn't matter. The world still turns

[Raychel]

in the long run...it just doesn't matter

wise words, as long as you enjoy your day.

[Claire Cook]

Tomorrow morning I will awaken and still be me. A me that is confident and kind. Tomorrow she will awaken and still be....angry and rude. I like me better

(BTW don't order the scallops...at 6$ a piece you could get a full meal...)

Lori, Sadly this is something that is likely to happen to any of us. I agree you were right not have a come back. Insensitive oafs like this person are not going to change their prejudices no matter what we say. Let's just hope that they are a very small minority,or am I being naive?

Yikes, $6 a scallop? THAT may have got me more upset!

...she should see me today. Ball cap, hair pulled back, light make up (lipstick and eye liner and blush) fuschia polo and short shorts. AND I am going to Nordies Rack to look for shoes. This could be fun.


But remember, in the long run...it just doesn't matter. The world still turns

Go for it girl! Nordie's is BY FAR the better solution !!

[sterling12]

Lori, consider that for every dumbass comment like that, we get about a hundred like: "Bravo for you," "Wow, can I ask you a question," "Your very pretty/cute," or "can I buy you a Drink?"

I'll bet you she was a "Fundie Nutt," possibly very bitter, probably spends a lot of time hurting all sorts of people, and not just The Transgendered!

Yeah, I probably would have been flabbergasted, and at a temporary loss for words. But, what did happen was probably appropriate. If you had come back with some sort of cleaver retort, then you would have gotten The Tirade of obscenity, and A Huge Scene in a Place where you probably often shop. So, I imagine you didn't need that kind of Grief! If you ever see her again, walks in and wants her Dog or Cat fixed, just imagine The Sheer Joy of looking at her unrecognizing face, and knowing that you now have The Control! What goes around, comes around. Your A Pro, and I know would never do harm to The Animal, but you could just decide to torment The Hell out of it's owner!

Peace and Love, Joanie