Drunks are always full of excuses.
Drunks are always full of excuses.
LOL, she must attract riff raff.Originally Posted by Debglam
Her and I were walking down the street in downtown Berkely once and some dude comes up,"heeeeey ladies, yal'll look like you wanna party" and he pulls out this bottle of vodka or something that still had the giant theft proof cap on it!
Very funny.
In reality she was more mad at you for looking better than she every could.
I don't know how you got that out of this.
It appears this woman took something Lorileah takes seriously as a joke. And as insulting as that can be to the recipient it still might not have been the intention of the woman. I would say more information is needed to understand the intent(Who know maybe right before seeing Lorileah she had a conversation with a friend about cross-dressing that would have been an odd coinsidense ) Unfortunately we are just not ourselves out there but also we are the other cross-dressers that have come before us.
Cross-dressing is often a form or entertainment and humor whether its a profession DRAG Queen using self deprecating humor in her act, an episode of Kids in the Hall, or the ameteur nature of Holloween Drag or Frat Pranks. For many people men in women's clothing equals humor.
The circumstance of the time and place reminds me of videos I am seeing on youtube. Mixed groups of teenagers guys and gals get together someone thinks it would be funny to makeover one of the guys into a girl. Then the group will think it a hoot to go to walmart or some other store that is open late and have the transformed guy parade around all the while its being filmed. Just another example of frivolous cross-dressing used for humor and fun being shown to the world. Again prejudice comes from the examples of Cross-dressing that have come before us in the minds of the individuals that we meet. Can we reallly blame a person if they have ssen too much Jerry Spring or Rupauls Drag Race and haven't met any real Cross-dressers?
Is this woman a bad person or did she just draw the wrong conclusion in the brief seconds she met Lorileah?
Last edited by ReluctantDebutant; 09-02-2012 at 05:22 PM.
Lorileah, ALWAYS consider the source, would you trust anything this women said . She was just envious that you looked better than she. HUGS
She is a bad person. Repeat, a BAD PERSON.
Anyone who would try to humiliate another person in public without a good reason is a BAD PERSON.
Let's say someone is out in public with a deformity, missing limb, etc. Is it ever appropriate to make fun of or try to embarass that person? Would it ever be appropriate to walk up to a severely overweight person and say out loud "Why are you so fat?"
If you think it, fine, there's no hope for you. Just learn to keep your negative thoughts to yourself.
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
Truly being out in the world is always a new experience. Mostly good, sometimes disapointing but always and often fun - certainly before, after, well not so much as during. Shme that you will not see her again, especially with those shorts. Now i have been stripped down for running and that is one thing, but short shorts in a shop that takes courage and will be a true hapeniong in your diary. You are looking forward to it and all of us should be looking forward to doing their courageous thing out there too.
~Samm
Back awhile ago ,,Kinda testing the waters still trying to find my nitch on my dressing style ya know ? Any how ,, Me an the wife stopped at a small store to get a coke ,, I had on Black slacks ,, Nice top with all the trimmings an some Shooties ,, Walked in the store am a Big Black guy was in there buying something ahead of me ,,,He seen me plain as day an walked out without saying anything so I thought ,,He didn;t see mt wife sitting in the car ,,, An he said fagget ,,,,,, AFTER ---- AFTER that PUNK went outside ,,,LOL,,, 10----4 ---- ,,,,,,,, NOT INSIDE ,,,, OUTSIDE ,,, Ya know WHY ? Cuz OL FAT GIRL WAS INSIDE ,,,,LOL,,,,,,
Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,
She is a bad person. Repeat, a BAD PERSON.
Anyone who would try to humiliate another person in public without a good reason is a BAD PERSON.
Let's say someone is out in public with a deformity, missing limb, etc. Is it ever appropriate to make fun of or try to embarass that person? Would it ever be appropriate to walk up to a severely overweight person and say out loud "Why are you so fat?"
If you think it, fine, there's no hope for you. Just learn to keep your negative thoughts to yourself.
I would agree that this woman is bad if she had shouted "freak", "pervert", or somethingelse to that effect to Lorileah. This woman's reaction sounded as if it was coming more from amusement which in my book is 100 X better then a reaction coming from disgust or hate. And it doesn't seem that this interaction lasted any longer then that intial reaction. So if there is more to this story that you are privy to and that I am not please tell me. My sympathy goes out to Lorileah. Despite a possible intent Lorileah's feelings were hurt. But isn't more positive to believe that this woman acted out ignorance rather from hate. I was giving reasons why this woman was ignorant and why she might react with amusment.
But no you are right it is being more positive to support the idea that Lorileah has a rabid, right-wing, "fundi", anticross-dressing hater, not only in her neighborhood but shops at her grocery store. No again you are right it is being more positive to bash a woman none of us know.
Last edited by ReluctantDebutant; 09-02-2012 at 06:35 PM.
That IS funny! A real "ladies man!"
I guess we all need friends that introduce us to the finer members of society!
Debby
[SIZE="2"]I’m sorry, but I don’t see how this type of encounter helps to un-marginalize TG people…[/SIZE]
[SIZE="2"]Do I have to point out the obvious answer? You aren’t allowed to discuss religion here...I wonder now what made this woman so bitter that she felt she had to insult someone she didn't even know. How her mind could be so narrow that she believed that she was "holier" than thou.[/SIZE]
[SIZE="2"]OK, let’s not assume that the woman is a moron – she may be prejudicial, but that doesn’t necessarily make her a moron. Within the confines of society, some people can’t help the way they think, and they are not encouraged to think otherwise. To YOU, anyone who doesn’t welcome transgendered people into the fabric of society may be morons, but they feel just the same way about you, the one who is practicing highly visible gender-blurring in public. You can’t expect the average citizen to have the patience or compassion necessary to understand your personal relationship with existence, or why you choose to dress the way you do – they are too busy trying to juggle their own circumstances, and there’s no time for nonsense (by their definition)…But still when you meet morons it does hurt.
“Moron” is a strong word, indicative of feeble-mindedness. How about saying “bigot” instead?[/SIZE]
[SIZE="2"]“We are all worms. But I believe that I am a glow-worm.” (Winston Churchill)[/SIZE]
No Freddy they don't have to understand us or even like us, although the vast majority of people DO have the patience or compassion to do so in my experience. What they DO have to do is to keep their freaking mouths shut!!! No one has the right to comment on people they don't know, to their faces, in public. End of story. The only person, IMO, that would say something negative to a total stranger about the way they look, or talk, etc. IS a complete moron (or idiot - the difference between the two is a measure of IQ under that law) or a hater. Fortunately these people are a dying breed. Maybe someday we will only find them in the zoo. . .
Last edited by Debglam; 09-03-2012 at 12:30 AM. Reason: syntax
Debby
You rock Sis....You handled well, besides, as others have said here, she was the one who was in crocs and sweats (how glamorous is that??). People like that will typically make fun of others just to make themselves feel superior. Now, with this note, she's no longer worth the time or thought!
So what you are saying is that we should just what???Hide??? Not dress up to go out and then stop on the way home? Maybe we should just wear jeans and T-shirts? I don't really know what you mean. I was dressed to be out in public on a Saturday night. I wasn't dressed in fetish gear, nor was I dressed in what I have seen other GG's wear to clubs downtown. I had on 2.5 inch Mary Janes. I didn't have stockings on I was bare legged. I had on make up that would be appropriate for dinner, it was nowhere near drag. So how was I making "us" look bad? I didn't do anything to this woman except smile (both my hands were holding plastic bags) and quietly I said "Hi".[SIZE="2"]I’m sorry, but I don’t see how this type of encounter helps to un-marginalize TG people…
Her attitude as being described "holier than thou" wasn't really religious. Maybe a better way would be that she had a superiority complex? Religion wasn't part of the encounter.
And we are not academicians here, we are not linguists. You want precise meanings for how I describe people then this woman was rude, ignorant and obnoxious. You don't like moron? I will take idiot.
Freddy you can take the woman's side. I don't care. The majority of the world sees the TG community as clowns, perverts or criminals. I know that. It is because the majority of the TG community won't stand up and say "I am everyday people". Seems to me that you are not out in the world (forgive me if I am wrong here). I believe that instead of railing against the wind from the safety of my home, I go out. I go out and present as a good person, not a fetishist, not a drag queen, not as some would say a skank. I also don't believe that the way we get the right to be out and seen is to to dress like we are invisible. Those who want to wear jeans and T's good for them I buy my clothing at common middle of the road stores. It is the same thing a woman who dressed for a job would wear or a woman who was going to somewhere for dinner where they had tablecloths. Those who have met me know this.
I do in fact expect the average citizen to have patience and compassion. I expect that for anyone in any circumstance. Ignorance and bigotry are things that "civilized" people don't accept. We are supposedly evolved beyond this. This was no different than if someone had stated to any other minority some sort of stereotypic drivel. It was shocking at first, then it was hurtful, then it made me angry, then it made me sorry for her. In the big picture? It was one person out of maybe 200 I saw last night who could not be grown up enough to keep her unsolicited opinions to herself.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Lori, PLEASE! It's NOT Freddies fault the world is at it is! One thing u CANNOT QUESTION is how PEOPLE FEEL! If they feel about us as u say, then they DO! It's NOT rite for them to feel that way, but they do and u won't change that with a snappy comeback! You'll only drive them and anyone listening, further down the, "they're ALL CLOWNS and PERVERTS", road!
Maybe in a hundred years the vanilla's will show us some of the patience and compassion u mentioned. But, that time is NOT NOW! If u go out dressed u always stand the risk of embarrassment, ridicule, harassment, and belly laffs! Anyone that CAN'T take the heat should stay at home and dress! And, as I'm one of those, I take me own advice!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Ummm...you "...present as a well dressed maybe business chic person..." and your nemesis was wearing crocs and a track suit and she thought your outfit was "hilarious"??? Clearly this woman needs to spend some quality time with Stacy and Clinton of What Not To Wear and be preached to from the Gospel according to Yves St. Laurent to atone for her fashion crimes.
Metaphorically speaking, Lori, you cast your pearls before swine here, and that was your mistake - nothing else. Let this incident roll off your back like water off a duck's @ss, move on, and if anything - feel pity for this woman who is so bereft of good taste and style that she wouldn't recognize either one of them even if they literally bopped her over the head.
Sadly, though, her numbers are legion...
Its too bad you could not have stopped and asked her what she means by what she said. If you have that chance, either you learn that what you thought is not what she thought, or she meant what she said, but she is going to feel pretty bad having to repeat it...especially if you tell her how much she just hurt your feelings. ...anyhow, I've had some small situations where I could read the distaste of the other person and at first it hurts, then I feel angry and sad at how sheltered their lives must me.
Chickie
Lorileah - Sorry that you experienced those bad feelings. She was obviously an insensitive jerk, to say the least. But don't feel bad you did not have a come-back line. Don't second guess yourself. You handled the situation appropriately. Why even waste your time with an exchange. She does not deserve a moment of your time.
That's a good point. I know she caught you off guard, but if we can recreate the incident just in this thread, you might have stopped in your tracks, and asked her politely, "What do you mean?" She might have said something like, "I think that men who dress like women are hilarious, that's all", to which you might have replied, "I don't dress this way to make people laugh. It is a part of who I am. I'm transgender, and your comment was cruel", then walked away. YOU would have felt better, even if your words appeared to not have made a difference.
She might not have immediately gotten it, but I bet you would have planted a seed of discomfort in her mind. And who knows? She might have later googled transgender to find out what it means.
Reine
That is absolutely correct. my ideal situation would have been to ask her why, Maybe I missed something, Toilet paper on my shoe, my panties tucked in my waist band. My lipstick smeared (It has happened,) Now I am convinced she was just stating a point that she thought I was going for. Will give benefit of doubt on that, Maybe she just watched Priscilla and though we like doing camp. Maybe it was a compliment. Maybe her side was when she went home. :I saw the funniest thing today I won't know. doubt I will ever see her again, But it was a missed opportunity, One where she could learn that I am not a pervert (anymore) that I don't rob banks (anymore) that I don't wear size Z breast forms and a headband skirt (anymore). I really doubt she understands the nuance of the life. That what she "knows" is very little, She knows the humor part. And we can ever extrapolate that to she was giving me a compliment, Lets go with that now, It was her way of saying "Where do you perform"?
Fact one is I am over it. It was a speed bump. Might have to have the alignment checked but it is fixed. But still drivable.
Fact two: I went out shopping today dressed and make up and no one cared. The store people loved it making time to help.
BTW I got the cutest open toed pumps and patent pumps. Clothes budget gone but these should last a few years.
Last edited by Lorileah; 09-03-2012 at 12:20 PM. Reason: was too late when I posted and half asleep. Now it almost makes sense
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
I had a situation one halloween. I just finish at the bar and stopped in 711 to get a six pack to take home when some guys from a car next to me started crap. well just so happens a guy from work was also there and told them to be quiet and leave me alone. Now he always jokes at work about having to save my ass while I was in a dress.
Thats how i remeber the quote of Churchill too and I think it was on a bus!?
We can't please all the people all of the time, comes to mind so dont even try sister, so many are just not worth it.
Hugs
Jane
"I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam," : Popeye
Ignorance is bliss and there are some very happy people out there.
I don't normally respond when somebody doesn't agree with me. It isn't necessary for them to think exactly like myself, and I don't take that as some kind of threat to my ideology....possibly because I don't have such a thing.
But, I got misquoted, and I take exception to that! I NEVER SAID or wrote that she was "Right-Wing" Anything! I did say I would BET that she was some type of "Fundie nutt." I didn't say she was, I mearly conjectured that she was likely to fit that category. Apparently, someone is very sensitive about their views and takes everything as an attack on their much-cherished philosophies. I repeat, I DID NOT use "Right-Wing," and although I probably won't get an apology, I would expect one! Just as I would feel obligated to apologize if I misquoted someone.
My thinking is that The Woman took an Opportunity to say something, and in reality only Lori was there to hear her tone, watch her expression, and get some sense of her body language. Lori took that statement as some type of "inference," and I believe she originally thought it was Hurtful. Otherwise, I doubt she would have written about it on This Forum.
Over The Years of the hundreds of people I have met as Joanie, I've had two antagonistic encounters. Both Occasions featured people from Fundamentalist Church Backgrounds who felt "compelled" to start ragging on some T-Girls out having Dinner. They identified themselves as members of two different Mega Churches in my area, and somehow felt that it gave them "license" to comment and confront.
Now that's why, I said I would BET she was A Fundie. Other People just don't care! If we get "Read," they might smirk, or gently giggle, but they don't come up to you and say anything! I made an Assumption, based on her actions. Do I think everyone who belongs to some Megachurch is "agin" us? Absolutely not! But they certainly have their share of people who would make The Day more difficult for people transgendered.
Peace and Love, Joanie
Last edited by sterling12; 09-03-2012 at 01:33 PM.
OK, I had to look that one up. And once I did, it made me mad. You see, if we fail to have tolerance for other people, how can we expect them to have tolerance for us? Using a pejorative slang term to refer to somone whose beliefs don't agree with yours is no better than someone using the term "fag" when talking about you.
Can't we all just get along?
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
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