'So....erm....i guess i see myself as not completely male....erm...or there's a huge part of me that's female....erm....does this make any sense at all?'
So that's it, the last of my close circle is in the transgender loop, despite my ham fisted and bungled attempts with all my friends, despite all the awkward phrasing and ill thought through conversation my friends have been accepting to an unbelievable belief. I'm aware i'm lucky, i'm aware i may not deserve their unbelievable ability to ignore all that and see the same person that's always been there, i don't know if it's a generational thing, or that a lot of them weren't particularly shocked (although some had the good grace to at least feign a heart failure) but the coming out process has only really been an arduous affair for me. Not only was this unexpected and endlessly appreciated, but it was unprecedented, a 100% percent hit rate of acceptance, which i figures makes me just about the most fortunate girl in the world right now. Telling your close circle isn't for everyone, for those who want to keep it to themselves, that's fine, for those who are happy to keep it to themselves, that's fantastic, but for those who have always wondered just what it might be like, people may surprise you, people may know more than you think, people may be waiting for the day you disclose yourself to them. I never saw myself as lucky, i've never ever won anything and i've never been with an umbrella just as the heavens opened, and in Manchester it never rains, it pours, but this latest run of good luck has left me amazed and unable to suppress a smile, and it all came from a need to not hide, and a small wonder of what if? Just a thought, but i've never felt freer.
x Flic x
