What things some of us say, and how do you feel about it?

[Samantha_Smile]

Things that get said by Crossdressers? Well, not so much on here, but Im a regular visitor of a well known CD/TV/TG/TS chat site.
And the some of the stuff I see and read there? Some of it is unrepeatable, the stuff that is repeatable is frankly ridiculous.

Men using pictures of their GF in their profile and saying its a photo of themselves.
CDs calling themselves transexuals when theyre blatantly just borrowing their wives clothes. How do I know? What transexual do YOU know that would appear on cam with male pattern baldness, facial hair and no makeup?
CDs who tell everyone that theyre 'non-op' transexuals, but they wear a wig thats comparable to Marge Simpson's boufant..... You go out like that?
The overuse of Hun, dear, sweetie, girlfriend.... Were NOT BLOODY WOMEN. So stop that... God damn it, not even genetic women talk like that!
My favorite thing I see, is randoms typing into main chat, BS like "Oh, isn't it wonderful being a woman", "Damn hormones. Only 7 days on them and by boobs are really sore"...
Err, what? Is that dress also a time machine? Did it reverse the course of history, jump in your mum's womb and make sure you got that second X chromasome youre telling everyone that you have?
And 7 days of hormones? What? Theres no words for how much of an idiot you just made yourself sound!

[Tara D. Rose]

Things that get said by Crossdressers? Well, not so much on here, but Im a regular visitor of a well known CD/TV/TG/TS chat site.
And the some of the stuff I see and read there? Some of it is unrepeatable, the stuff that is repeatable is frankly ridiculous.

Men using pictures of their GF in their profile and saying its a photo of themselves.
CDs calling themselves transexuals when theyre blatantly just borrowing their wives clothes. How do I know? What transexual do YOU know that would appear on cam with male pattern baldness, facial hair and no makeup?
CDs who tell everyone that theyre 'non-op' transexuals, but they wear a wig thats comparable to Marge Simpson's boufant..... You go out like that?
The overuse of Hun, dear, sweetie, girlfriend.... Were NOT BLOODY WOMEN. So stop that... God damn it, not even genetic women talk like that!
My favorite thing I see, is randoms typing into main chat, BS like "Oh, isn't it wonderful being a woman", "Damn hormones. Only 7 days on them and by boobs are really sore"...
Err, what? Is that dress also a time machine? Did it reverse the course of history, jump in your mum's womb and make sure you got that second X chromasome youre telling everyone that you have?
And 7 days of hormones? What? Theres no words for how much of an idiot you just made yourself sound!

I agree with you Smiles, and to add one more to your list would be " how do your girls tuck? I have such difficulty with tucking, for I keep falling out" implying they have such a monster on the loose.

[Badtranny]

In my opinion, people like you are a large part of why this world has become a meaner, uglier place.

Gosh I guess you told me.

your rudeness shouldn't be tolerated here, but for some reason, it is.

Perhaps because my "rudeness" is really just frankness. You may be the kind of person that simply needs a certain amount of pleasantries mixed in with your discourse and if that's the case, than somebody like me will always be offensive to you.

"people like me" are really no different than people like you except that we prefer honest unadorned conversation on our forums rather than silliness and fantasy. In regard to this particular forum I tend to take certain things rather seriously and I am a firm believer that this forum is worthless without as much honesty as possible from the members. This is not a fantasy or gaming board, this is a discussion forum where people deal with dead serious issues and I believe we owe it to each other to at least act like adults. I don't know who you are but every one of my posts has been honest or reflective of who I actually am in real life. I don't have anything to hide anymore and I continue to post my actual real opinions and experiences because it helps people. I know this because they contact me and tell me so. You may think I am callous and rude and you are certainly welcome to your opinion (and kudos to you for being honest) but I'm actually very protective of my CD & TS sisters thus I tend to not suffer fools gladly.

[Pexetta]

I've typed about 6 heated posts into this thread and then thought better of them. So I'll just say that I think we're forming a circular firing squad here.

[Bree-asaurus]

Gosh I guess you told me.

Perhaps because my "rudeness" is really just frankness. You may be the kind of person that simply needs a certain amount of pleasantries mixed in with your discourse and if that's the case, than somebody like me will always be offensive to you.

"people like me" are really no different than people like you except that we prefer honest unadorned conversation on our forums rather than silliness and fantasy. In regard to this particular forum I tend to take certain things rather seriously and I am a firm believer that this forum is worthless without as much honesty as possible from the members. This is not a fantasy or gaming board, this is a discussion forum where people deal with dead serious issues and I believe we owe it to each other to at least act like adults. I don't know who you are but every one of my posts has been honest or reflective of who I actually am in real life. I don't have anything to hide anymore and I continue to post my actual real opinions and experiences because it helps people. I know this because they contact me and tell me so. You may think I am callous and rude and you are certainly welcome to your opinion (and kudos to you for being honest) but I'm actually very protective of my CD & TS sisters thus I tend to not suffer fools gladly.

^^^ Full of truthiness.

I got cho back Mel!

[Julogden]

The very person that called Mellissa judgmental was being in fact, very judgmental herself. The pot calling the kettle black. So see, i just judged that person myself. Any time you say you don't like this or don't like that, you are judging. It's human nature. I like what Mellissa said in her posts on this topic. I don't see her offending me or anyone else. But someone judged her as being offensive? Is that not being judgmental? In fact she kept her cool and she conducted herself better then I could in the face of an uncalled for attack. It's obvious the offender does not like Mellissa and came to this thread to judge her further and about to ruin an otherwise good thread with lots of opinions and how others feel about the topic I presented.

I initially responded to your original posting, then I saw Melissa's response and called her out for being rude, something that I've seen her do in these forums on other occasions, and she was indeed rude.

The concept of your original posting was "not too cool", as Marleena correctly pointed out. What you said in your original posting has a lot of potential to embarrass other members, and that's definitely not cool. And yes, I judged Melissa and now you for being rude, and with good reason. There's nothing wrong with being judgemental for a valid reason, as opposed to inane reasons. You just decided to whine about how some affectations of some members here annoyed you, no provocation at all, just being judgemental because you didn't like what a few others here say at times. Not cool indeed.

Carol

[Kaz]

OK... I am not assigned as moderator to this thread, but I am putting my Mod hat on NOW!

I missed the development of the thread as my band was gigging and I have just got back - it is 1am here...

We will not condone personal attacks on members. Read the rules. We will let things run for so long, but this thread has been getting close to close down time. Now please act as the supportive adults you claim to be in other threads. We all have different opinions and this is fair, as that is life and we all need to embrace diversity... but we will not tolerate personal attacks. Get back on thread... NOW!

I think it was about some of OUR members using certain words/phrases that didn't gel with others... and I agreed, some stuff gets my goat - but I also support their right to use words and phrases that work in their context... Brandy if the post was aimed at a broader reach (i.e. further than this forum... I apologise).

Kaz

[Marleena]

Ever wish you didn't reply to a thread? This is one of them for me. I do not have a problem with any of the posters in this thread, I just stated what I thought. That's what the forum is for. If I did have a disagreement with somebody I would prefer to say it directly to them and I have in the public forum.

Now to use Bree's old signature, "can't we all get along"?

[Bree-asaurus]

Ever wish you didn't reply to a thread? This is one of them for me. I do not have a problem with any of the posters in this thread, I just stated what I thought. That's what the forum is for. If I did have a disagreement with somebody I would prefer to say it directly to them and I have in the public forum.

Now to use Bree's old signature, "can't we all get along"?

I haven't really followed the stuff that happened in this thread, but I know you've always had good intentions. I got cho back too!

I'll catch up and shoot my mouth off soon if this thread doesn't get closed :P

[Kaz]

You know something? If we all got into the same room in real time and in reality and looked into each other's eyes this would probably all go away?

I HATE THE WORD HUN or however you guys spell it... To me it is so patronising and whatever... OK I know it is a diminutive of 'honey', but call anyone honey where I live and you will get looks and stares like you are an alien! If it isn't colloquial it certainly is culturally contextualised.

I suspect that some of us adopt certain language routines to try to connect to our female side (however you want to define that), and if that is needed I don't have a problem. I may not like the language used... but that is MY problem to deal with! So as a Brit I don't accept 'smooches' as an English word... but I have to accept its usage... do I find it offensive? It depends on the intention behind the word...

I judge no-one and I am not judgemental, but I accept that some people are inflicted with this need... and when they exercise it and I am involved... it really cuts like a knife... I get hurt. There is nothing wrong with having an open mind and being tolerant... I am serious... It is very enlightening and very humbling...

I am hoping that we can swing this thread round to a positive before it dies... any takers?

[Bree-asaurus]

You know something? If we all got into the same room in real time and in reality and looked into each other's eyes this would probably all go away?

You're right there. The disconnect of the internet (hah I made a funny) is prone to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Heck Kaz, you and I have had our share of arguments in the past. But in person, things would probably go a lot smoother.

[Kaz]

You're right there. The disconnect of the internet (hah I made a funny) is prone to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Heck Kaz, you and I have had our share of arguments in the past. But in person, things would probably go a lot smoother.

Naaaw, I love arguments too much!

[Julogden]

Kaz, "Hun" is a perfectly acceptable way to address people in many parts of this country, and in others it might get looks and stares from some people too. It's used pretty commonly here where I live, and I've used it myself at times, but I usually reserve its use to close friends and family members.

Some of the terms brought up in the original posting are commonly used by some people, others would never use them. And yeah, I'd never use them myself, but I'd never even think of criticizing anyone else for using terms like that.

We all need to be remember that stuff like that is no big deal. If we find it annoying, just tune it out. We all have habits and ways that someone somewhere will find annoying.

[Frédérique]

This has been on my mind for some time and thought I'd ask others how they feel when a CD uses terms like, huggles, kissy kissy, smootches, wet kisses and other words they think are cute or feminine. Other then a few teenage girls and maybe a few over the top gays talk or write that way. To be honest some, if not most words of endearment or used as a salutation, like these turn me off to where I don't even want to correspond with those that use them or comment on their post or thread. I would not like it even if a GG used this type of salutations if I correspond with them.

[SIZE="2"]I don’t think WARM salutations are a bad thing, but you can go too far. I get turned off by people who use NO salutations at all in their messages, but I’m aware of differing “approaches” to this idea of femininity some of us are trying to embrace – a nice little something, no more, no less, is always appreciated by this girl. Aren’t we supposed to be supporting each other? Gimme a hug…


Wet kisses, Freddy [/SIZE]

[Marlana]

i agree with Brandy. I'm not a fan of the hugs except when using it as a supportive thing. When someone is having problems and they might need a hug to feel like we've got their back, it's ok. Linda, you crack me up...but you're right. I don't want anyone feeling my bra straps either!

[Pexetta]

Got no problem with 'hun' myself, it seems like the US equivalent of 'love/luv'.

Even GGs differ greatly in how they write, I remember my favourite female colleague showing me an email from her mum which ended with about 3 lines of 'love you so much xxxxxxoxoxox', and I said 'My mum would just have put "Take care now dear".'

[bridgetta]

. Sometimes reading posts you get the feeling that theyre really enjoying it a little too much

[noeleena]

Hi,

One learns a lot mixing with other peoples from different countys.

As you know i mix with many groups of people those im a member of & other i know through our groups.

I of cause write letters & do emails how i sign them is pretty much the same if its some one i dont know or have meet ,

I will just end with kind reguards, those i know its with Hugs & xxx thats my signitue if you like, like with my name of ...noeleena...
As to other endearments im not fussed by them & do not use them , im a woman i expect to be treated like & as one ,
You allso know im a female. with the little exta that makes me who i am .

Many of my friends who are male i may greet them with a hug or on departing allso a hug some i dont know when ill see them again. my women friends are treated in the same way.

Im not a young girl so the 60's sayings dont mean any thing to me , i use the persons name when talking with them .

On the forums ill use the persons name or the one given for me to use. in real life i ask those who are dressers or trans what name would you like me to use its them up to them.

what then do i do when your in male mode call you honny or some other girly name in front of others & people would then look & start thinking whats this, .

If & when some one asks me my name you all know what it is , noeleena.

May be im to english in my langage well Kiwi then & was taught that you address the person by name what ever it may be,

To me its respect to & for that person. as i would expect the same from any one.

Some times i do get called dear or love , & thats okay .

One thing we learn is etiquette or just be nice to each other as you would like others to treat you.
& that to me means as a woman.

...noeleena...

[sterling12]

But, your not going to stop it! A lot of T-Girls ONLY get The Caricature correct. They think they are emulating women, when it's just not so! A lot of The Silliness will continue, no matter how logical your OP may be, because we are always replenishing our Stock of Newbies.

So, I imagine to a lot of GG's, we can appear to be like SOME Very Flamboyant Drag Queens. Maybe that's why they often tell us that, "You just don't get it!"


My biggest Pet-Peeve! "Please do not start your Message with "Flutters/Bats her eyes." To me, it sounds pretentious and silly. "Real Women" don't "swoon" anymore, they don't drop their hankies to get attention, and they certainly don't Bat their Eyes! Yeah, I just said it won't stop; but like a child anticipating Christmas Morning, I certainly hope for The Best!

So, I'll just say Huggles to all you Sweeties, and wiggle,giggle on down The Street.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Badtranny]

So, I'll just say Huggles to all you Sweeties, and wiggle,giggle on down The Street.

Thanks Joanie for bringing this back to Brandy's original point. Nobody cares about the hons, sweeties, and darlins. It's the silly titters and giggles and childlike affectations that makes some CD's seem kinda creepy when you consider that they are really middle aged men sitting around in panties pretending to be pre-teen girls.

I have some great friends who are CD's and I'm offended for them. There is nothing wrong with cross-dressing or gender play of any sort but we need to stop pretending that it's okay to hate yourself so much that it literally fractures your personality to the point that a macho mechanic feels the need to secretly pretend to be a little girl because he cannot accept himself for who he really is.

[Kaz]

But, your not going to stop it! A lot of T-Girls ONLY get The Caricature correct. They think they are emulating women, when it's just not so! A lot of The Silliness will continue, no matter how logical your OP may be, because we are always replenishing our Stock of Newbies.

So, I imagine to a lot of GG's, we can appear to be like SOME Very Flamboyant Drag Queens. Maybe that's why they often tell us that, "You just don't get it!"


My biggest Pet-Peeve! "Please do not start your Message with "Flutters/Bats her eyes." To me, it sounds pretentious and silly. "Real Women" don't "swoon" anymore, they don't drop their hankies to get attention, and they certainly don't Bat their Eyes! Yeah, I just said it won't stop; but like a child anticipating Christmas Morning, I certainly hope for The Best!

So, I'll just say Huggles to all you Sweeties, and wiggle,giggle on down The Street.

Peace and Love, Joanie

And so will I at various points when I need to connect to the person I am aiming my communication at... and this a big issue for me.... how do you address an intended audience? In non-virtual life, I don't have a problem until it becomes virtual... and then the other cues don't exist... using the emoticons (just click advanced settings below...) helps to express the emotion behind the words... not perfect, but a useful tool....

We frequently argue about the choice of language and the implied 'tone' rather than the content...

Glad this thread calmed down!

Peace and Love,

Kaz aka Stan!

Sorry just an attempt at ironic humour! Time for bed... said zebedeee
xxxxx

[Lori B]

I think you may be over reacting.

If we talked like this in real life, we would certainly be thought of as gay, but on this forum, we assume the identity of our alter ego, in most cases, a female.

In real life I would never give you a , but as Linda, I feel free to.

I agree with Linda,,,but I don't use huggles, kissy kissy, smootches, wet kisses...lol!

[BRANDYJ]

The simple thing I have been told by a few writing coaches and an author I know is that I tend to write exactly as I would talk in person. I believe this is true. I don't put on airs or acts for anyone, even in an open forum.
I think if everyone did that, this thread would not have even started. I don't have an "on-line" personality different then I am in person. I say what's on my mind, I tell it like it is.

[Marleena]

I just looked for the wet kisses emoticon, I can't find the damn thing!

[Kaz]

Thanks Joanie for bringing this back to Brandy's original point. Nobody cares about the hons, sweeties, and darlins. It's the silly titters and giggles and childlike affectations that makes some CD's seem kinda creepy when you consider that they are really middle aged men sitting around in panties pretending to be pre-teen girls.

I have some great friends who are CD's and I'm offended for them. There is nothing wrong with cross-dressing or gender play of any sort but we need to stop pretending that it's okay to hate yourself so much that it literally fractures your personality to the point that a macho mechanic feels the need to secretly pretend to be a little girl because he cannot accept himself for who he really is.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

So true... we all know that words matter and we can search for context within the words used... but there are words that grate between groups and I worry about how those barriers get created and get maintained..