I Have a CONFESSION to Make . . . .

[Anne2345]

In the past, I have written many posts about the girl I believe myself to be, and the girl I am on the inside. Some of these posts have been fun and light-hearted, whereas other posts have been ultra-serious, and have expressed the full range of pain, desperation, intensity, and sense of helplessness I sometimes experience.

But the thing is, until now, I haven't revealed the entire story. For as much as I have offered the forum about myself, I have been holding back equally as much. I am actually ashamed that I have done so, because I trust, respect, and love so many of you. The truth about me, though, is as shocking as it is horrible, and I feel that I have let many of you down by keeping it a secret for so long.

I apologize in advance for any hurt I may cause, but I have a confession to make:

I want to be a squirrel.

Not just any squirrel, though, I want to be a big, giant, soft, furry, loveable, pretty, beautiful, feminine girl squirrel.

Whether I am a fox squirrel, a red squirrel, a white-tailed antelope squirrel, a columbian ground squirrel, a golden-mantled ground squirrel, or even an everyday, pedestrian, ordinary, common eastern gray squirrel, it doesn't matter, so long as I just am.

I know it sounds crazy. I know it sounds totally outlandish. And it must seem too impossible to be true.

Yet there it is. After all this time, I have finally admitted it to you all. I believe I should have been born a squirrel.

Until now, though, I just haven't been able to talk about it, or share this side of me with anyone. I have trusted no one with this deep, dark secret. I have bottled it all up. I have run from everyone, including myself, and I have let no one in!

Quite honestly, I have spent my entire life in my girl squirrel closet, too ashamed and too scared to venture out into the open. It's all become too much for me to handle by myself, though. I have felt so alone, and that no one could possibly understand me and how difficult, hard, and painful life can be as a closeted girl squirrel.

But it’s not like I can just leave the safe confines of my blessed sanctuary that is my girl squirrel closet. After all, it’s a dangerous place out in the world! Hawks see me as food! Cats view me as a toy! Even snakes, owls, dogs, raccoons, opossums, and foxes have it in for me!! And don’t even get me started about hunting season!

Still, I just can't hide myself anymore!! I have to be me! I want to stand tall and proud before one and all!! I can no longer deny to myself or the world the beauty that I represent as a girl squirrel!!!

I have even spent my life perfecting squirrel chittering sounds, and learning to hold acorns up to my mouth just so, while quickly chewing through the shells with tiny, delicate, yet fast nibbly bites. I have also spent a small fortune collecting squirrel suits and attire for my girl squirrel dress up sessions. And trust me, finding girl squirrel gear and clothing in my size is not easy . . . .

So I have to do this, and I have to do it now!! I can no longer deny the cold, hard truth! I have to be brutally honest, and come out to the forum!! I should have done this a long, long time ago!! I should have trusted more! I should not have been so deceitful!! I should have been more open about my feelings and emotions! I feel much regret and sorrow over the way I have handled this, but I now recognize the error of my ways! I hope with all of my heart that you all can forgive me, and accept me for who I and what really I am! I am transspeciessexual . . . .