O.k., I generally try to keep it light-hearted and humorous when I'm on here but today I got to address a few things that happened yesterday that bothered me.
I was at the Maryland Renaissance Faire yesterday at the Dragon Inn, essentially a pub with a roof but no walls (it's the first location in the video I just posted in the picture & video gallery.) So I'm just hanging out with the other faire junkies, minding my own business, when I hear some yell from behind me,
"AHHH! HOLD ON, I HAVE TO SAY HI TO MY FAVORITE CROSSDRESSER!"
Now everyone in yelling distance is staring at ME. It was my friend Beckie, who then ran up and gave me a pounce-hug. Beckie has always been gleefully excepting of me, but I don't know why she had to make a public announcement that I was a crossdresser. She had four people with her who kinda had a jaw-drop reaction. The older guy there, late fifties/early sixties was pretty go-with-the-flow about it. He said, "huh. I just thought you were a hot chick!" And thought nothing more of it the whole time.
I conversed with them and caught up with Beckie, who I hadn't seen in a long time but one of the girls she was with while friendly felt the need to de-feminize me in her mind. After about 20 seconds or so of my first speaking she blurted out "Yeah now I can see it." I ignored that. 25 minutes later we're still talking, and she interrupts with "And the hands. You got big hands too." Inside i'm like,
OK. You can tell I'm a man, and I have big hands. I GET IT.
I know I'm not perfect, no one is. But people usually show some level of restraint to each other and refrain from saying things to stranger like "You know, you look kinda fat in that outfit" because that's thought of as rude. Why am I not given at least that much courtesy? How am I supposed to react to "You've got big hands?"
"Oh really? Thanks! I wasn't insecure before, good thing you came along to point out a flaw that I can't do anything about! Thanks for the save, I was about to be confident there for a minute!"
After this incident I had two questions:
1.) Why do some people feel the need to vocally detach you from your femininity? It's just like when we're out presenting as female at some public place and the person dealing with us purposefully puts and emphasis on SIR. Like WE hadn't noticed what was between our legs?
2.) Why does this bother me so much? I've always told myself that there was nothing wrong with being a crossdresser, so why was I dismayed to be outed this way? Does not being ashamed mean being o.k. with being outed in such spectacular fashion?
On a related note, I think later that night I came really close to having a major encounter with transphobia. I was to feature at a comedy show that night, and due to the fact that my ride took us WAY out of the way to get home, I didn't have time to change. So I get up to security at the bar/restaurant and he said "I.D. please." I show him. He spends a good 30 seconds looking at it then back at me in silence. I get the vibe from him that this is going to be a problem.
He calls the owner over to have a look at my I.D., but I believe that the owner knew of my gender variance beforehand, considering it's briefly mentioned on the posters and flyers around the place and he waves me in.
I'm aware that there T*girls that have had WAY worse problems, and that ultimately I've been lucky. But in all my years as a cd, I'd NEVER had a door guy not just wave me in. I made light of it in the video, but it still bothered me.
Sorry, just had to express. We now return to your regularly schedules silliness