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Thread: My new experience "outing" myself...

  1. #1
    Quietly making noise Torrey's Avatar
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    My new experience "outing" myself...

    Well, I consider myself "out" to those around me, my neighborhood, some co-workers, and so on. However, I have some lifelong friends who do not live nearby. I mainly communicate with them via that social media monster, facebook (they only know me in my male mode). For some time, I have avoided any opportunities to visit them, and this was making me feel sad...wrong...something hard to quantify.

    Anyway, I took a few minutes to type out a nice letter and sent it, again via facebook, to about 15 of those who mean the most to me. I had to come to a point where I could accept the reality that it was entirely possible they would all reject me. Once I cleared that mental hurdle, I was ready...and hit send.

    Let me pause here to mention that I am transsexual and I revealed all. I told my friends that I am beginning my transition. The first feeling I had when I sent it was one of euphoria...followed, immediately, by a bit of fear.

    Without being too tedious, some of the replies follow:

    "you are my friend, and please always know you will always have the love and support of my family."

    "we have been coworkers, but more important friends for along time. If you need anything I am jus a phone call away."

    "Rock on Mark!"

    "Good luck Mark."

    "No worries ... Be who you are inside. My friend Elizabtth is now Luke, and he relied heavily on his buddies during the three year transition. Keep your head up and enjoy the emergence of who you feel like inside."

    "BTW, i want to thank YOU Mark for taking me into you confidence."

    "Be who you are! I am sure the journey has been difficult, but don't forget to enjoy the ride." (from my half-sister)

    "About fell out my chair! Didn't see that one coming. Many many questions??? But that can wait... For now I just want you to know that you will always be one of my dearest (and most interesting) friends!!!"

    "Good on you, Mark! (Does "you go girl" apply yet?) "

    Thus far, one friend has deleted me. I told them "no hard feelings" if they had trouble with my little announcement. I meant it wholeheartedly. Having said that, I guess I have better friends than I ever realized.

    Thus ends post #500 for me. Thank you for reading.


    Torrey
    Torrey

    "Never laugh, and you will live to regret it.
    That's what living is to me..." - Jimmy Buffett

    https://www.facebook.com/torrey.stephens

  2. #2
    Member JenniferLynn0370's Avatar
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    Congratulations Torrey! I can only imagine the emotions you've experienced so far! I envy your bravery in stepping out; I imagine it must be liberating on some level? Again, congrats; you go girl!

    Hugs,
    Jen

  3. #3
    ghost Anne2345's Avatar
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    Well done, Torrey! Very well done! And a hell of a way to go into your 500th post!!! It takes an incredible amount of courage to do what you did. Also, speaking from experience, it takes an acknowledgement and acceptance that this is who you are, and it is not going to change. There is desperation attached to such things. It becomes necessary, and there is an intensity about it. But there is also catharsis and relief in so going forward. Good for you, Torrey!!!

    I just have one question - who the hell is Mark??!!!



    Anne

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member Amy R Lynn's Avatar
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    I think this prooves once again that we make our fears much worse than they really ought to be. While you did loose a friend, look at how many more have come to your side to support you! That is AWESOME! Very well done, and courageous! I agree one heck of a big bang for the 500th post! congrats!
    "Oh my God, I realized, it's not that we're screwed up; it's just that we've been trained to thnk so."
    ~Rick Novic, Alice in Genderland

  5. #5
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    Hi Torrey, Real friends are great phony friends , Who needs them.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  6. #6
    ...don't encourage me Josie M's Avatar
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    That's wonderful news
    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -- Mark Twain

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  7. #7
    Quietly making noise Torrey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anne2345 View Post
    I just have one question - who the hell is Mark??!!!
    As an old friend used to say...someone I used to know.

    Thank you everyone for your supportive comments!

    Torrey
    Torrey

    "Never laugh, and you will live to regret it.
    That's what living is to me..." - Jimmy Buffett

    https://www.facebook.com/torrey.stephens

  8. #8
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    That is great Torrey! Be proud of yourself! 'Cause you are wotth it! Hugs!
    If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:

  9. #9
    Member monica.missil's Avatar
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    You have wonderful friends. And I think by their response to your email, they feel the have a great friend in you also.

  10. #10
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    Good for you and Congrats on a very nice post and hitting 500.

    You clearly have an EXCEPTIONAL talent for choosing friends!

  11. #11
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    A nice way to celebrate your 500th post.
    Now you know who your friends are.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  12. #12
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Great choice of friends and well done on sharing your planswith them

  13. #13
    Quietly making noise Torrey's Avatar
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    I am truly appreciative of the support of both my friends here and those who knew me only in my previous life. I don't want to get all "George Bailey," but I know I have wandered through life for many years thinking I had very little impact on any but those absolutely closest to me. Perhaps, I have been wrong. Our natural tendency in this journey is to make our circle small, with only the most absolutely trusted friends. I feel so honored that I have been able to expand that circle by a couple handfuls.

    Mostly...thank all of you for your support!


    Torrey
    Torrey

    "Never laugh, and you will live to regret it.
    That's what living is to me..." - Jimmy Buffett

    https://www.facebook.com/torrey.stephens

  14. #14
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Wow, that's great Torrey.

  15. #15
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    Only one out of fifteen deleted you from there system, Wow, you have a great set of friends, and the one you lost, you can live with out!
    It's had to be a hard thing to do, but since you are transitioning, really at some point, this had to be done. So it's great that it went so well and you have had so many well wishers, I'd say that would send me off into a pink fog, but then that's just the way across dresserr would think, you live in that fog, and this may help it lift, and help you find just how normal your life can be. same Friends, and the right body for you, life is getting good!
    Good luck with your up and coming transition.
    Tina B.
    Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.

  16. #16
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    Wow, that's very impressive attitudes your friends have, must feel good to know how many people like you for who you are.

  17. #17
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    Now thats at group of true friends. Way to go.

  18. #18
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    I think you have great friends. They are probably well educated and do not share many of the bias feelings exhibited by others. Frankly, I believe many more people are truly accepting of a transsexual than of a cross dresser. There has been a lot of news coverage on transsexuals and their medical and legal plights. The discussion of crossdressing seems to be primarily limited to Jerry Springer.

    And, I looked at your avatar and you truly look lovely. God's speed on your journey to womanhood.

  19. #19
    Silver Member prene's Avatar
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    WOW,
    You have some great friends.
    I am so envious.

    If I get there I hope my friends come through like yours have.

  20. #20
    The Girl will Out! Kaz's Avatar
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    Well done Torrey, that is great support! You also very courageous!
    Kaz xx

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    This Woman Within is Flying without Wings

  21. #21
    Silver Member Angela Campbell's Avatar
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    I would do that too if I could. My family would be devastated if I did transistion or even if they knew I wanted to. Other than my family who I could never hurt I would not care who else knew and I would have undergone the full thing years ago.

  22. #22
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    Torry, back when I came out to my friends we did not have facebook. Heck, we didn't even have the internet. While I think it is great that you came out to your friends, I do want to caution you. Even though they said nice things, some of these friends will slowly start to disappear. They might find excuses not to see you or do things with you now. Some will find that they just cannot support you any longer for a number of reasons. Most seem to be due to peer and religious reasons. With any luck this will be kept to a minimum and you can go on enjoying one another's company. I wish you all the best in your transition.
    Last edited by Jorja; 09-21-2012 at 02:29 PM.

  23. #23
    Quietly making noise Torrey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    Frankly, I believe many more people are truly accepting of a transsexual than of a cross dresser...The discussion of crossdressing seems to be primarily limited to Jerry Springer.

    And, I looked at your avatar and you truly look lovely. God's speed on your journey to womanhood.
    I feel compelled to mention here that no pic was included in my letter to my friends. You may,in fact, be spot on with the Jerry Springer reference. A few daytime talk shows address cross dressing, but rarely with the dignity deserved.

    Thank you for your well wishes.


    Torrey
    Torrey

    "Never laugh, and you will live to regret it.
    That's what living is to me..." - Jimmy Buffett

    https://www.facebook.com/torrey.stephens

  24. #24
    Silver Member STACY B's Avatar
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    You Go Girl !!! Big azz Load GONE,,,,, Killer ,,,, Now sleep like a baby---- GIRL,,,LOL
    Last edited by STACY B; 09-21-2012 at 02:32 PM.
    Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,

  25. #25
    Quietly making noise Torrey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jorja View Post
    Even though they said nice things, some of these friends will slowly start to disappear. They might find excuses not to see you or do things with you now. Some will find that they just cannot support you any longer for a number of reasons. Most seem to be due to peer and religious reasons. With any luck this will be kept to a minium and you can go on enjoying one another's company.
    I felt like I had to come to a point where I could accept it if I lost 100% of them. I am trying to keep an even keel here, and I know that some may not be able to deal in the future. (and THANKS...that is something of which we all need to be reminded)

    Quote Originally Posted by prene View Post
    WOW,
    You have some great friends.
    I am so envious.

    If I get there I hope my friends come through like yours have.
    me too!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaz View Post
    Well done Torrey, that is great support! You also very courageous!
    Thanks, Kaz!
    Torrey

    "Never laugh, and you will live to regret it.
    That's what living is to me..." - Jimmy Buffett

    https://www.facebook.com/torrey.stephens

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