Would you choose NOT to dress?

[meganmartin]

Great topic and sometimes I have wondered this. My wife discovered this about me about 5 years ago and it has at times strained our relationship and at times it has enhanced it. During her times of concerns about this part of me often wondered if I was better off not doing it. Then something happens in our lives with family and other obligations that prevents me from dressing for 3-4 weeks then it becomes evident to me I could not stop if I wanted too. At that point I am moody and every little thing just irritates me.

Great topic and responses ladies.

[GingerLeigh]

A year or so ago I would have shouted an emphatic YES! Now? Ahh poo. It's just too much fun and it hurts nobody. I am beginning to care less and less about what others think about it and just have some harmless fun with it.

Don't like? Don't look! (just offer pointers)

[Sporco]

I'd have to say no. There are a few positives, yes. But oh so many negatives. Maintaining two wardrobes is expensives too, not to mention hard on closet space. The biggest thing though is that I could be the 100% man my wife needs. I hate to disappoint her, but I do sometimes.

To me, the other option would be to be born gg. A large part of me is transgendered. This is the option I probably would have preferred.

Since I can do neither, I'll forge ahead as I am, making the best I can of each day...

[Janelle_C]

A year or so ago I would have shouted an emphatic YES! Now? Ahh poo. It's just too much fun and it hurts nobody. I am beginning to care less and less about what others think about it and just have some harmless fun with it.

Don't like? Don't look! (just offer pointers)

I have to agree a year ago I would of rather died then have some one find out my big secret. I started therapy this year and know even throw I haven't come out yet now there is a yet and I love this side of me. I got my ears pierced and I'm letting my hair grow as long as it can. Life is to short, a friend of mine said you reach a age where you don't care what others think and I'm there. But I do care what my kids and family think so that's yet part I have to figure out. Hugs Janelle

[Kate Simmons]

Most of my life has involved CDing, whether in the closet or out. Since amalgamating my feelings, the challenge to myself is to enjoy being Richard. It's easy for me to be a woman, much harder to be a man as I have never fully done that. I think it's easier to be your whole self if you find someone who appreciates you either way and is okay with what you choose to do. I have found such a person.

[Amy R Lynn]

For me this is a two sided debate. I enjoy the female side of me. I enjoy all that Amy has to offer. Its exciting, fun, and challenging. I feel good when I dress! However, on the other side, it presents many complications to an already complex life for me. It makes dating more of a nightmare than it is for most. I am a single father of two young boys. Their Mom is not part of their life. So I need to keep things on a balanced level. Which CD'ing adds a burden to.

For me its a complication to my life. There are many times that I wish I didn't have these feelings about dressing. It would make life a little more easy for me.

As it is though, I wouldn't change it. Dressing is a part of who I am. Can't be helped. So I have to accept it, and I'm good with that. Just wish the rest of the world would be too!

[heatherdress]

I am satisfied, happy, content, at peace when I am dressed.

[sissystephanie]

I started wearing panties at age 6, and went on to become a full fledged crossdresser. Many years ago, after I was married to the dear lady who knew I was a CD, I decided to stop crossdressing completely because of my family. I did totally stop for a five year period. Then my dear wife asked me to start dressing enfemme again! Her reason was that she missed Stephanie!!! She had done my makeup and fixed my wig when I was Stephanie, and wanted to go back to doing that. Of course I agreed! Then 7 years ago I lost my dear wife to cancer. I almost stopped dressing again because I am terrible with makeup and even worse with fixing the wig. But I decided to be a male Stephanie!! I wear feminine clothing, from the skin out, to go out in public, but with no makeup and no wig! I am very much a male in female clothing. And the only questions I ever get asked is where did I buy the skirt or dress that I am wearing!! If you are decently covered, the vast majority of people don't care what you have on!!

I dress solely because I like the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothing. I have no desire to be a woman, and never have had that desire. I spent many years wearing a suit to work because it was necessary. Now that I am retired, I dress enfemme most of the time! But there is a condition involved! If my children asked me to stop dressing enfemme, I would do so. Family comes first!!

[AnitaH]

First I must say that for me this thing started several years before I ever tried on the first piece of woman's clothing. The desires, the need was there for years before I finally succumbed and put on that first article of womans clothing. A couple of years I go I would have said: If there was some way to have removed those feelings those needs that led me to this yes I would have done it.

But I'm glad I didn't have that option because I'm a different person today. Anita is me, I've learned to embrace her and enjoy her. Since accepting Anita I have become a better person and a better spouse, I've learned to not be judgemental about other people and to appreciate of all of our differences.

So NO WAY would I do it today. Yes it complicates life and has caused no little pain and anguish throughout the years, still today I would say I would not change this.

Given the chance I would however change a few things the first and most important is to have been born a GG to start with. Failing that it would have been to embrace Anita several decades ago and transition at a much younger age.

AnitaH

[Saffron]

It's a though decision. I love to CD, but being closeted sometimes I find myself alone and sad with that "I need a hug" feeling.

So maybe life could be easier without CD, but after all is part of who I am, so I prefer to embrace it and have all the fun I can

[elizabethamy]

As a person who first dressed after age 50, of course sometimes I wonder how my life would be different (better?) if I had never started. Yes I was at a dark place mentally and emotionally and began an exploration to try to understand what was wrong with me. Had no idea I would discover that gender was the core problem. Had I not started dressing life would be easier at home right now -- or would it? Would I still be depressed and miserable? Suicidal? etc. Everything is connected. The very introspection that makes us interesting means that sometimes we will discover things about ourselves that aren't terribly helpful or convenient when we find them. But they matter because they are who we are...life is a journey and sometimes journeys are hard, not fun, and full of mud and biting insects. At other times, sunshine and butterflies.

elizabethamy

[Beverley Sims]

I am curious as to how my life would have been if I had not engaged in cross dressing.

[Cheryl T]

Fire up the time machine ...
I'd still be me...but I would have come out sooner and probably be farther along by this point...along to where?? I don't know.

[Kaz]

There are loads of other people that I wish I had been instead of me... at my age and where I am in my head.. I rather like me! It's taken a long time to get here... I have loads of flaws and I've made stupid mistakes, but I like the me I have become... I could do with being in better shape and not being so wrinkly...

But Kaz is so much part of me and I realise as I age that she has always been there... I am she and she is me and we are we and we are all together!

Je ne regret rien... just the time I have wasted in not realising how cool this was!

[mirandacdgirl]

I have tried to stop several times.. just doesn't work out..i just end up being a grouch and eventually the feeling of "Want" over comes me.

[ArleneRaquel]

Never am I going to be who I am, which is ArleneRaquel.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Because we have found that no matter what, life is short and after pleasing everyone else we realize that there are only two people in the world we really need to please, our SO's and ourselves (You can add children on there ..I just don't have any). And when it is all over, if you aren't happy, no one is happy around you.

If pleasing the two people SO's and ourselves could be achieved by CDing life would be simple but herein lies the only reason why I would push the off button to CDing. My wife whom I love and cherish will not tolerate my dressing nor agree to DADT. So I must do so without her knowledge with the limitations and risks that entails.

After 8 glorious days away out and about dressed much of the time, my view has changed from pushing the off button to total acceptance of who I am.

So, I choose to dress as much as circumstances allow.

[sometimes_miss]

Of course we have a choice; but for me, it's the lesser of evils. I can choose to suppress my desire to crossdress with violence, alcohol or drug addiction, or be nasty and short tempered with everyone I meet. I choose crossdressing, even though it means it's me who will suffer the most, rather than everyone around me. I have not found another alternative that works....believe me, I've tried everything I can think of.

[STACY B]

Of course we have a choice; but for me, it's the lesser of evils. I can choose to suppress my desire to crossdress with violence, alcohol or drug addiction, or be nasty and short tempered with everyone I meet. I choose crossdressing, even though it means it's me who will suffer the most, rather than everyone around me. I have not found another alternative that works....believe me, I've tried everything I can think of.

AMEN !!!!!!!! Gotta do what we do ,,,, An then all is right in the world ,,, Bars suffer ,, An strip clubs ,,, LOL,,,, But we won't ,,,,,, Stocks dropping on Wall street ,,Stacy Stop drinking again ,,,lol,,,,,

[Joanne f]

Would I choose not to dress, after all it is only clothes that you feel really happy in so why choose not to like wearing them ,but (always that but) if only it stopped there, it is that other part that I would choose not to have , that underlying reason why I dress , to be and feel feminine and when you get to the point that even the dressing is not enough the dressing almost becomes a teaser type of thing , look you can have this bit but not the rest , but I still love dressing so why complain

[Briana90802]

It's funny, I keep hearing people say that this is something that they choose to do and they can stop anytime. However other topics suggest otherwise, saying things about the pink fog coming back. It would seem to me that crossdressing is like food we can say don't need it all we want but that's just not true. Whether you dress or not is a choice, whether you need to dress would seem to be more in our DNA.

[sherib]

Since it's in our DNA there would be no way you couldn't choice not to dress. I wish it was not in my DNA, but it's too late to worry about it now. Besides, I love to dress. If only I had enough time.

[Foxglove]

If I were to change this part of me, what else could I change? I'm sure "society" or Mom and Dad or the old biddy up the road could give me lots of advice on that score.

Accepting my TGism is just part of accepting me as a whole. Many years ago I probably would have changed a lot of things. Now, it's realizing what you are, realizing that you didn't start out any more handicapped than anybody else. Sure, lots of things you might change--but why not work with them instead and see what you can make of them?

On another forum I'm a member of, there's a girl who is blind from birth. Some of the other members (rather rudely, I thought) asked her if she could have her sight, would she take it? She said no. She's learned to live without it, in fact doesn't even know what it is. One member in particular was pushing her a bit: "But, but, but think of all the advantages you'd have." I could understand what she was saying even if he couldn't: she is what she is, and her lack of sight is part of her. If she changed that, what would it do to her overall? She's not unhappy, so why change? If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Other people can say what they like about TGism. It's me, it's part of me. And there's nothing wrong with it. And I actually like it. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Annabelle

[Tina B.]

Of course we have a choice; but for me, it's the lesser of evils. I can choose to suppress my desire to crossdress with violence, alcohol or drug addiction, or be nasty and short tempered with everyone I meet. I choose crossdressing, even though it means it's me who will suffer the most, rather than everyone around me. I have not found another alternative that works....believe me, I've tried everything I can think of.

If the compulsion to dress was gone, my wardrobe would follow it out the door, otherwise if I quit I'd lose my wife, she couldn't stand what would be me, sometimes described me to a tee! I don't remember choosing to dress, I think it chose me. But then I don't really remember, that was 62 years ago.
tina B.
Tina B.

[danielletorresani]

I get a long of enjoyment out of dressing up. So much pleasure involved in it, for me...but if I could choose to switch that part of my brain off permanently, I'd do it in a heartbeat.