How does your SO view you

[Janelle_C]

My wife started to go to my therapy sessions with me and its been really good. What I realized was my wife views me and Janelle as two different people. My therapist asked her if she wants to get to know Janelle better and she said yes. I told her that Janelle and me are the same person, I'm just letting her shine throw. I do understand how she feels, when I'm dressed I'm let all of her shine throw which is more than I usually do. My question is does your SO view you and your fem self as two different people or one in the same?
Hugs Janelle

[STACY B]

I am going to answer this even though it's a CD question ,,, Same ,,,,, Becaise I am the same ,, Some people change alot when dressed ,,,An that's fine ,,But mostly CDs ,,Becuz it's a costume not a life style ,,That's why Most not all CDs dress to the nines an try an become fully fem . Others like myself Mix it up an just go with what ever the day brings . Like if we go shopping more female clothes ,,If we have work to do more Old female clothes ,, No heels while doing outside stuff ,,, Remember that ,,, But no I am the same ,,Big mouth Loud Talking Dresses or Pants ,,Heels or flats ,,, Same Goofball never change !

[Joanna41]

Perhaps my wife thinks a little of both...im her girlfriend at times but always her husband. Our relationship is awesome... I have a great wife who is open minded...loving in every way one can be...and she gets a husband and girlfriend to go shopping with without complaints from me and or anything else...

Joanna

[Ashley D.]

My wife did for a short time. But now she looks at me as how I was always ment to be.

[Tina B.]

My wife seems to think of me as the dame person no matter how I'm dressed, but then I don't really change that much from one type of dress to the other.
But when I did try changing my voice to sound morefemininee, she didn't seem too comfortable with that, so I gave it up.
Tina B.

[Kate Simmons]

She views me as the same person merely displaying different facets of myself.

[KatieTaylor]

My wife HATES Katie. She sees her as a seperate person, not as part of me. She thinks that it is like an affair. I've failed to be able to convince her otherwise.
Katie Taylor x

[Lorileah]

Neither time did my SO's view me as a different person. Just a different presentation. Maybe that is why it worked out. Since I rarely dressed totally while I was married it was easier for my wife to not see me as different. My GF knew from the beginning and actually indulged the male side of me while she loved the femme side.

It is hard for people who are not TG to see that there are not two different people usually (that would be MPD or schizophrenia as they used to call it). Alternates. In most cases here we just are different reflections of the same person.

[Beverley Sims]

I am viewed as the same person, just a little diversity in me.

[outhiking]

My wife views my fem side, what she's cared to know of if, as an "problem", like a mental health issue. I keep the dressing in the closet, but I don't really change my personality since it's still me.

[Thera Home]

My wife thinks Im a space case.

Thera

[Adron2009]

My wife thinks I am the same person, in fact when I "came out" to her I made the point that I am the same person just expressing a feminine side. That seemed to make her much more comfortable and accepting.

[dallasmann]

Our situation is interesting, from my perspective. I don't ask for or expect much and when I feel the need to take a trip, she usually encourages me to go. On a regular basis, the support ebbs and flows, because she feels I'm not doing my job as husband when I'm feeling 'that way'. But then there are other times she'll like it, because I'm more sensitive. She hates it when I'm NOT sensitive to certain things.

It's one big confused mess. I do not dress for her or in her presence, but occasionally she will ask ME to femme out for her and allow her to take a more dominant, masculine role.

[bobbie c]

ah my wife sees me as a wack job!...seriously however,she sees me as the same person but with a more open, relaxed reflecion of my fem side. I think the fear of many so's is that at the beginning, or when they first become aware....there is a fear of "2 different" people emerging and that is scary. It takes time to realize we have different "sides"as do all people.I think lorileah said it best...different reflections of the same person...as with most things with this ...it can be over anaylized and over thought.....as I have always said, enjoy the fact that you have the ability to express yourself, sooooo many people never learn, hence never live life fully....just my and my wifes opinion.....

[wilt575]

My wife started to go to my therapy sessions with me and its been really good. What I realized was my wife views me and Janelle as two different people. My therapist asked her if she wants to get to know Janelle better and she said yes. I told her that Janelle and me are the same person, I'm just letting her shine throw. I do understand how she feels, when I'm dressed I'm let all of her shine throw which is more than I usually do. My question is does your SO view you and your fem self as two different people or one in the same?
Hugs Janelle

She is fine with it, views it as multiple personality but not disorder, some times do things as male that female side doesn't remember and female side does things male side doesn't rember.

[kimdl93]

My wife sees me as a single unit - not as two different people. I really don't change much in terms of behavior when I'm en femme. Certainly, not consciously so.

[Marleena]

My wife sees me as one person that I am. I'm lucky she's still comfortable with all the crap going on. Sometimes I get on my own nerves.lol.

[Stephanie47]

"Don't Ask, Don't Tell" = "Out of Sight, Out of Mind" Oh, she may also consider me "Out of My Mind."

[Bree Wagner]

My wife says she always 'sees' me, but that I act differently when dressed. I know there's a conscious choice to act somewhat differently if we're out but I don't know that I do anything differently while it's just the two of us. I'll just have to take her word for it.

[franlee]

She has become so acceptant that it is no different than if I am in drab. In other words it has got to the point that unless I dress for a specific reason and that she would certainly know, it's just clothes!

[Erica2Sweet]

...some times do things as male that female side doesn't remember and female side does things male side doesn't rember...

Hi wilt575. Memory loss is not commonly connected to crossdressing or other gender identity issues. If you feel this is really happening to you, it is likely another issue entirely and may be a cause for concern. This is something I would immediately seek out a therapist over.

[Marlana]

My wife doesn't want anything to do with Marlana. Like others, DADT and keep it in the closet. She said that she's not interested in being with a girl. Soooooo.....

[Erica2Sweet]

...My question is does your SO view you and your fem self as two different people or one in the same?...

Hi Janelle. I had a conversation with my wife regarding this to refresh my own memory, and she said that when we first met, there was some separating of the two sides of me in her mind. Gradually, as we got to know one another better, and she became more familiar with my gender-flux, those two sides she saw more or less merged into one.

I think that during this time of transition, we needed hands on experience living with (and loving) one other, since she was, for the first time, in a relationship with someone who switches gender presentation on a whim. We needed to figure out how it all would fit and work. Essentially there are three "personalities" that hold space within our relationship, even though there are only two of us. Adding in that third personality has been a somewhat of challenge at times, both in day-to-day life and with regard to our shared intimacy. But we both feel at this point we have it figured out.

As to how the transition from seeing me as two separate individuals to one actually took place for her, she said moments ago, "I have no idea." To me, that's surprising coming from her given her vast knowledge in the field of psychology, and her understanding of the human mind.

[MissTee]

What a great question! My wife says it's like a right arm and a left arm. They are different, yet connected to the same torso.

Quite deep, I know.

[Jeannie]

Let me see if I can recall what she said. "At first I just saw you in a dress but know I can the there are two different people but they are still you". My reaction was "?". Then she said "I can deal with that and it is no problem because I know you are still here". Then also said "You have a feminine walk and that I was cute". OMG I am walking on air right now. This woman gets more incredible every day and I just love her to death. She is truly my soul mate.