Stephanie, I love your story and fully agree - it is just the way I feel. I am so sorry your lovely supportive wife is no longer here to help you, but I know you treasure ALL the fun you had together, dressed or otherwise. A lovely and poignant post.
I do for the fun of it and the sexual stimulation. Being divorced/not dating and work way too much, so I do what I can when I can.
Without dressing I am miserable. The pull to dress is always there. When I allow myself to dress as needed then I am very relaxed. I have tried other ways to relax and nothing replaces dressing. Dressing is fun and very enjoyable but, I dress for my own peace of mind.Originally Posted by Tina B.
YES YES YES! I'm 6' 6" and couldn't pass on a dark night! I love dressing just for the fun of it! My wife is supportive. The only problem she has is when people laugh at me. Laughter doesn't bother me, but I try to be sensitive to BW's feelings.
Motivated Behavior Is Not Necessarily Behavior Compelled by Inner Demons
Hi Sissystephanie,
When you say, “I dress en femme simply because I like to!!” you are giving an overly vague answer. I would suggest that you probably are motivated by some variant of feminine feelings. I’m not sure that people do much of anything with no motivation whatsoever. Action without motivation would be an accident or possibly a simple reflex. In the past, you’ve said that you began as a child who liked to secretly wear his sister’s clothing. It seems reasonable to infer that you wanted to be like your sister and thus had some degree of identification with her (or at least her gender). To be sure, you were not compelled by some "inner dictator," but that does not contradict your having had inner feelings that you wanted to express.
When you say that your crossdressing is no longer as complete as it once was (no wig or makeup), you seem to be implying that you have made an adaptation to reality, i.e., an adjustment to changed circumstances. After all, when your wife was happy to do your makeup and help you with your hair, you were more than happy to let her! But circumstances change and we make adaptations.
Let me illustrate. One of my friends when I first started going out in public crossdressed was someone who sang at clubs and had a routine that went with his songs. He performed in gay bars; he was a drag queen. Only rarely did he/she dress en femme when not at work. The femme part was simply an aspect of his gig. It was part of his trademark, so to speak. He crossdressed “because he liked to,” but his/her reasons for “liking to” (motivations) were different from yours or mine. He didn’t do it as a set of random movements or as a simple reflex; his primary motivation was pleasing an audience, not the kinds of motivations you or I have. But he could say, "because I like to," and that he is not compelled by an "inner dictator," in spite of doing it for reasons quite different from yours.
Based on your various other posts, I am 99.6% certain that you are a transgender person who is motivated by some cross-gender feelings that you like to express via your attire. You started doing that at a young age, have done it all your life, and presumably plan to continue doing it. Your femme presentation is somewhat distinctive — and that is fine! If it works for you, then I am happy for you!
Take care and keep on dressin’,
Jamie Ann
After wife got me started I just love to be dressed. I have the day to myself an on most days I am dressed in some sort of outfit. Maid, miniskirt, just stockings and heels, whatever.
Its fun and expresses who I am.
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
Not me I never dress for the Fun ,, All the people on here keep talking about it an I would look like a Dam Fool on here if I didn't ,,,So in short I dress Becuz of YALL ,,It's all you peoples fault ,,Not mine ,,, I just came here becuz I thought CD ment Constuction & Demolision ,,,Now look at me ,, Wearing girl stuff ? All my friends are gonna laugh at me ? Lucky I can run in Heels ,, Cuz then I would get laughed at an Fall not just get laughed at when I ran away ? Thank's a lot Ladys,,Hope yall can Sleep tonight ? Just never mind ,,Ill get my Purse !!!
Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,
Yes. that's me too. Its fun and intense pleasure every time. I have no desire to become a woman but when I'm dressed I love feeling like one. I'm so grateful that I have discovered this source of extra enjoyment in my life.
I'm amazed, I've been here for years and have read story after story of broken marriages, time spent in therapy, lonely people, crying out for understanding, and none of it sounded like much fun to me.
What I'm reading here sound a lot like denial to me.
I don't believe people often choice to run outside of the heard, where there is thought to be great danger by choice, but are driven to it.
I really doubt there are that many that choose to be gay, or trans, but discover they are these things, and learn to live with it. I love the time I spend dressed, because it's who I am, and no I have illusions
that I'm a women, trapped in the wrong body, I'm a very macho guys a lot of the time, but there is this little thing inside that cries out from time to time that must be recognized, so I give her, her time in the sun, and it keeps me sane. As Frank Sinatra once said, God Or whiskey, What ever gets you through the night, for me it's a dress, and I'll admit it.
Tina B.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
I read this yesterday and thought I'd answer today. Well I am now completely dressed as a woman and hell yes it is fun! I really enjoy being dressed but I I am a man 98% of the time. The other 2% I am a man enjoying being dressed as a woman!
I agree with monalisa...I am so relax being dressed and would not give up being a male. But if there was away to TOTALY change to female (magic charm) I would change.
Others have touched on this but I feel like I need to put it more bluntly.
NOBODY should dress "for the fun of it". That is not a valid reason and all that you are doing is making others perceive this as a choice, when for the REAL CD'ers and TS', it is anything but. So if you are doing it for the fun of it than please stop... Stop setting the rest of us back for your own selfish reasoning. How dare you try and make it seem like a choice.
This isn't to say that it shouldn't be fun. It is a lot of fun! But that shouldn't be your reason for doing it. You should do it because you are being called to do it from an unknown force. You should be doing it because you aren't happy unless you are dressed "en femme". You should do it because IT IS WHO YOU ARE! Not because "you just feel like it".
This problem was just brought to my attention today and I am seeing it all over the site now. It's truly sickening... We have been getting posts asking "how do you crossdress?" or "thinking about starting to crossdress." Are you freaking kidding me? You shouldn't be here if you are asking those questions or making those statements!
I think the responsibility falls on the mods of this forum to remove people like this who are simply doing it for the fetish aspect or attention seeking reasons as that is not the purpose of this site. There are plenty of other sites out there dedicated to the fetish side of things. Just in this one thread a good chunk of people admit to only doing it for fetish reasoning. "I dress for the pure fun of it. The thought of dressing, when I get a chance, always gets my juices flowing." If that doesn't say "I only do it because it makes me horny" than I guess I don't know what does. Maybe it's just me who feels that people like this don't belong on the site. I thought the purpose of the site was for REAL CD'ers to understand themselves and have a safe place to discuss it all. People chiming in who "Just do it for the fun of it" really don't add to the conversation as they really don't understand the mental aspect behind it all. To them it's a choice where to the rest of us it's not.
x-Cold Black Rain Flows From These Eyes-x
Cheza Rayne
Raynefall, I agree with the first part of your post, that dressing is fun but that's not why we do it. We are compelled.
However, I don't agree that the mods should exclude pleasure dressers. Both fetish dressers and feminine identity dressers are driven from within, and one reason is no more legitimate than another. This site is about support for crossdressers (and others), no matter what drives us. It's not a crossdressing porn site, and we thank the mods for keeping it that way.
We could get into what a "REAL CDer" is, but you'll lose that argument.
Of course, if you don't like it here, you could start your own crossdressing support site, you know, for REAL CDers.
I would lose that argument because I am not a CD, I am actually TS but thought I was only a CD for many years. And I don't want to exclude them necessarily. But the fact that they try to input into conversations for people who don't choose is ridiculous. They don't share the same thoughts/feelings that the rest do in that case. I just feel like they should have their own individual section if anything. Most people on here don't do it for fetish reasoning or because it's fun. We do it because we don't have a choice. We joined this site for answers and a community of like-minded individuals. I also feel that having a CROSSDRESSING FETISH is FAR different than being an actual Crossdresser. They can take the clothes off without a feeling of emptiness or loss. I think most others would agree with that.
Just so you know... You can lose that filthy attitude of yours. I never asked for your sarcasm. I was expressing MY opinion, not yours. Notice how I said "((I THINK)) the responsibility falls on the mods". Not telling the mods or saying that's what everyone thinks. I also never said they should go to a "Crossdressing porn site". YOU DID! All I said was there are far more sites out there dedicated to that aspect of Crossdressing. Maybe you need to look more closely at yourself if that's your first thought. So stop getting all high and mighty because you can put words into peoples mouths. Cry a river, build a bridge, get the hell over it. It's sad when I am 23 years old and I can take someone's opinion, yet you can't without getting all puffed up. This is why I stay in the Young Members section... People are actually mature there.
Last edited by Raynefall; 10-05-2012 at 01:24 PM.
x-Cold Black Rain Flows From These Eyes-x
Cheza Rayne
I think I do it for fun... lol. I dress from the waist down (makeup and wigs don't add anything for me), my GF loves it and actually wont let me go a evening without at least pantyhose on. Lately she has encouraged I don't forget the skirt and heels either, its fun for us both and make her, well, want me more. :-) She is a big time keeper!
"If pantyhose can make my legs look this good, imagine what they can do for yours" - Joe Namath
Hell im starting to feel a bit of a fraud already........ A really interesting and challenging point!
Of course, dressing is fun. I'm not saying I wouldn't do it otherwise, because I have done things that weren't much fun--like being a single parent for 16 years. But I don't dress simply because it's fun. It's for the feeling of peace I get from it. It's because I'm expressing some aspects of myself that I like a lot better than certain other aspects.
Hallelujah! Friends and neighbors! We've won a convert! Such an inspiring story, it brings tears to my eyes. People, do you want to save more lost souls? Do you want to bring happiness where once there was nothing but misery? Do you want light where once there was nothing but darkness? Please help me in my ministry. Every €25 you donate to my PayPal account will buy a pretty bra for some potential convert. Just to get her started down the path of righteousness. Think of those souls we can save, Friends and Neighbors. It's in your hands. I'll include you in my prayers tonight. And bless you, Stacy, our dear sister in Transgenderism!
You can count me in "as purely for the fun of it" If it was fun I wouldn't do it. the SO is aware of it but it is more of a DADT arrangement which is fine with me. I get out a few times a year and I go pretty much wherever I want. Do I pass? I don't know in my own mind I do. the truth is no one much cares "Just have fun"
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
Raynefall, chill. There was no sarcasm in my post, only disagreement with your opinion. But to the topic:
This is a forum for crossdressers - of all kinds. It welcomes crossdressers, family, friends, and TS folks, too. But there is also a forum for transsexuals. Maybe you would feel more comfortable there. I wouldn't, because I'm not a TS. Why would you want to hijack the crossdressers forum to accommodate your transsexual views, and want to mods to disallow posts from pleasure dressers?
You're entitled to your opinion, So am I.
Good post, Nicole, and very helpful. Everybody of all stripes is accomodated on this forum.
Annabelle
I first dress because I need to. Its from the evergrowing force from inside and it is very very emotional, like a very strong inner peace the only way I can acheive. After that said, then I will say that it definitely has the "fun" aspect to it also.Amanda
Last edited by JamieQ; 10-05-2012 at 03:37 PM.
It's pretty clear that some people seem to forget that there IS NO RULEBOOK and there are no right or wrong reasons. Not everyone wants or needs to dress fully or ever leave their house. Not everyone has "known" since they were little. Many people are obviously quite happy to dress fully and or only with their SOs and stay home. It's simply personal CHOICE which we all have equal right to.
Or just maybe.. There IS a rulebook somewhere and I was never told?
Count me in, I dress for the fun, contentment and the creativity of it. There is also a rush when the wife complements me on my skirt or heels.
I guess if it wasn't fun, I would't do it.
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
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