Another House Guest

[heatherdress]

My wife's best friend stayed with us for an extended stay last year. It ultimately did not work out because she proved difficult to live with. But not in regards to my crossdressing. Now, my wife is thinking about another extended family guest who could use some help. She is a few years out of high school as opposed to our previous friend. Has anyone else had the experience of a younger house guest for an extended period ot time?

[Alberta_Pat]

Before this event comes to pass, be absolutely certain that there is a "time limit" on the stay.

30 days, 3 months, 6 months, whatever you and your bride decide.

Also, as one of the conditions, be sure you have your dressing time understood.

[Marcia Blue]

I feel your pain/excitement. My middle son was always trying to rescue someone. We had four live in guests while he lived with us. None of them knew about my hobby. Three of them were girls. Two were girly girls. I did learn a few thing secretly about make up from the girly ones. I was never afraid to ask stupid questions.... It was fun most of the time, except for the unnecessary drama.

[heatherdress]

Thanks Alberta. Time limit was a problem last time. Also, agreements to share expenses, chores, meals. We wish we had had a signed agreement and felt that we taken advantage of. This stay might be a year or so, and she would be our guest. Thanks for your suggestions.

[PretzelGirl]

I hate to sound cold, but I have helped a lot of people out by letting them stay with me and in almost every case it ended with having to ask the person to leave. I won't do it again (and I will probably eat those words some day). And they were all from overextended stays.

Listen to Pat. If you are going to do it, set a limit. I would also set some ground rules about things that really are unacceptable in your house. I had one that I told before they moved in that there would be no smoking in the house. She kept it up and he kept making excuses for her and I eventually threw them out. It was way later than it should have been, but he was unemployed, 58 years old, and they were good friends. Good being the operative word as it all ended. Thankfully when I tossed them, he had found a job and could support them; he just didn't think so and needed the push.

[heatherdress]

Thanks Marcia. Seems like you did their visit right and had fun. Was there anything you would have changed?

Sue - You must have known our last guest. We had to ask her to leave after 6 months. She did not contribute at all and was indignant that we asked her to leave. Thanks.

[Jennifer Cox]

It's quite simple. Are you prepared to curtail your dressing? Would you be happy if you did? If you answer 'No' to either of these then you have two options - either tell her about the situation or don't invite her in the first place.

[Marcia Blue]

Thanks Marcia. Seems like you did their visit right and had fun. Was there anything you would have changed?

For the most part there were no problems. We did sent down ground rules: 1. They had to help out around the house. 2. No smoking in the house. (She, was actually quiting and did.) 3. No drugs period, no alcohol if under 21. 4. They had to work and we did not loan or give them money. 5. No guests with out prior approval, no sleep over quests.

The one thing I would change, the could not be in a relationship with my children while living with us.

I actually did a recount and there were 5 guests total. The one I forgot was actually the least trouble. I will also mention if they were, around more than three months, They tend to either fit in real well or need the boot.

[StephanieJ]

I would suggest a time limit.

We've hosted over a dozen exchange students over the years and the only reason it works out is because there is a defined limit to the stay. We've had both my wife's sister and currently her brother live with us and those get hard because it's an open ended invitation. As for dressing, the time limit helps with that too because you know when you can expect to get back to "normal".

[Nicole Erin]

Why would it matter how you live in your own house? I mean if a house guest does not approve then they can always leave. I am imagining that even if she does not approve of your dressing, she isn't gonna give up a place to stay because of it. Even if she does leave, no skin off your butt now is it?

[Stephanie47]

House guests and fish begin to stink after three days!

[linda allen]

My wife's best friend stayed with us for an extended stay last year. It ultimately did not work out because she proved difficult to live with. But not in regards to my crossdressing. It was fun to live with another woman in the house who accepted and enjoyed my dressing. Now, my wife is thinking about another extended family guest who could use some help. She would be much younger than our previous guest - a few years out of high school as opposed to our previous 38 year old friend.
Our new guest's stay would let my wife do some career mentoring for her and let her attend a career education program. If she moves in and if school works out, a vision would be to open her own beauty shop, with my wife's help.
I feel uncomfortable, not about having a guest, but about dressing with her living with us. Her stay is not about my crossdressing - it is to help her move ahead in life. I don't want to inhibit that. She does seem to be open minded, fun-loving and communicates well, but it would be hard to determine, in advance, what she thinks.
If we don't tell her, I anticipate she will find out on her own. My wife's best friend did in spite of us being very careful. If we do tell her, there would be a lot to work out and risks. I am inclined to support her stay but not inclined to share knowledge of my crossdressing until we determine the if/when/how. This approach would immeditely curtail our lifestyle but also possibly lead to unplanned discovery, disappointment and trust issues.
The good news is that we may have a new live in guest. The bad news is that we may have a new live in guest.

Many of the Jerry Springer TV shows start out with the wife inviting her female friend to live with the couple. Just be carefull.

[STACY B]

Tell ya what ,,,If someone moved in with me it would be about 2min an they would figure it out ,,Maybe longer if they got there before I got home ,,,LOL,,,,

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Heather, Sounds like it's time to turn the guest room into a model train layout room.

[Cynthia Anne]

I see no problem at all! My house! You can't handle it! You leave! Besides what's wrong with having your own hair dresser live with you!!!!!!!

[linda allen]

I see no problem at all! My house! You can't handle it! You leave! Besides what's wrong with having your own hair dresser live with you!!!!!!!

If you're not out to the world, you have to watch who you are out to. You can't trust just everyone and if the wrong person knows and tells, you've been outed.

I am "out" to my wife and only my wife. She is the only person I trust with my "little secret".

OK, I am "out" to my virtual friends here, but that's different.

[Joanne.England]

If the plan is to open a beauty shop eventually then why not ask her about her opinions on cross dressers as she may have some as customers in the future and possibly one to practice on ehilst learning.

[Glenda]

It seems to me that if someone is going to move into your home for an extended period of time, then you should not be giving up the lifestyle you choose. If that is the price, then they should be looking to stay elsewhere. If they are visiting for a month or less then you might curtail things a bit. But a year??? Maybe it's the way I'm feeling today, but........I think you know you're going to be dressing around her. The real question is "Do you want it known up front or do you want to be discovered?"