My FFS Surgery!

[Pamela Kay]

Thanks Ladies,

Actually Melissa I have friends who tell me I am on the fast track to transition. Even though it doesn't feel like it I'm sure I'm moving faster than many, as you and Inna have been at it for much longer than me. I don't have a really big problem wearing a hair piece or partial, just don't want to wear a full wig but I will if that's what it takes. I guess you just have to try some things out to convince yourself they won't work sometimes. It is becoming pretty clear that the hair is an issue, not a huge one but enough to get me read. Also I still have swelling from FFS which I'm sure will be around for quite awhile yet.

Actually I've been at this for over a year now. I discovered who I was (finally) in September and started therapy in November. I started weight loss in November and have gone from 209 to 170 lbs since then and started hormones at the end of January so I'm about 9 months in on them, except for the month I had to go off of them for FFS surgery. Been through 2 full facial electrolysis clearings and have more to go so still having to shave. Was wanting to have the clearing done prior to FFS but as with any plan it didn't work out that way.

I came out to my boss and HR in April and to the rest of my coworkers at the end of June. I took off work from Oct 1st thru Nov 12th and had FFS on Oct 2nd. I'm scheduled to return to work as Pam on Nov 13th and started living full time last Sunday so just completed my first week. Next Wednesday is my legal name change hearing which I'm looking forward to so my I.D. and bank cards match my presentation.

I really don't think less of myself, just kind of frustrated I guess. One thing I have learned is that no one thing will make you pass, it's a package deal. FFS, voice, clothes, presentation, etc., it's all part of the big picture and we're all on the short learning curve trying to cram a lifetime of girl learning into a few months or years.

I hope someone finds something useful in my ramblings. I did have a plan when I started transition and so far it has worked out pretty well.

Courage and resolve are just the outward appearance of a person who simply has no choice but to be who they are. I have drawn more strength and knowledge from the members of this forum than you will ever know.

[Pamela Kay]

Sorry if it sounded like I was blowing my own horn in the last post, wasn't my intent. Just trying to share info.

[EnglishRose]

Not at all Pam. Thank you for sharing your journey and you are inspiring others like me, too.

[arbon]

I have drawn more strength and knowledge from the members of this forum than you will ever know.

It is pretty amazing watching you on this journey Like has been said you are very inspiring and I'm glad you are sharing it.

[AllisontheGoddess]

You have to PROMISE to take pictures when you're all healed up =D !!!

[Pamela Kay]

I have my name change hearing Wednesday and will get all dressed up for that. I'll post some pictures then if not sooner.

Thanks everyone.

[Saffron]

Pam, it's great to read about successful stories I hope you'll keep posting.

I wish you all the best

[Eryn]

As some wise person said, "It ain't braggin' if you've done it!"

I hope things go well at your hearing, don't know if it is a formality or a barrier where you live. Regardless, it's another step forward!

Keep us informed!

Eryn

[Jonianne]

Thank you for sharing, Pam. All the info you can give is useful to me.

[Britney Johnson]

Pam... I have bee reading thru your posts. Congratulations! I am so excited for you. Rose is SOOO right, you are a total inspiration just like many other girls here and out living their dreams like so many of us want to do (and will at some point in our lives hopefully). I wish you all the luck and best wishes during your journey. Hope to hear more. Hugz and Love Sweety

[Pamela Kay]

Well as of today my legal name is Pamela Kay West!

Met with the judge and got my legal name change today. I didn't even have to go in the courtroom, just met with the judge in his chambers and in less than 10 minutes I was taking the documents down to get certified copies from the court clerk. I will go change social security, drivers license, etc. tomorrow. It will be so nice to have my name match on everything and with who I am.

Another step taken in my transition.

Here's the suit I wore today. Still didn't wear the wig but my hair doesn't look as bad in person as it does in these pictures with the florescent light shining off of my head.

[Kirsty_D]

Pam you look fantastic! You can already see big changes from the surgery but there will be a lot more to come over the coming months.

Feel's great to have a new name and leave him behind

[Bree-asaurus]

I think your FFS is definately paying off. I also think that as the following months come, the reduced swelling is going to improve things even more.

If you want my honest opinion, continue on... other wise DO NOT READ THE REST OF THIS POST

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I really think the receding hairline is holding your back. I know wigs suck... I've been there. But if you really want to finish things off, you might want to consider a wig, partial wig or hair transplants. I'm just being honest because I would expect the same. We're looking to pass the best we can. I mean no disrespect and am just trying to help. Again, you're FFS was definitely a good choice as your face is anything but masculine.

[pickles]

Yeah Pam I was going to ask if you could post a pic with your wig

[Pamela Kay]

Thanks Bree, I know my hair is not good and I have an appointment tomorrow to get my brows done and hair looked at by a beautician. I'm checking into extentions but will probably end up with a partial hairpiece I'm guessing. So I'm waiting to see what the proffessional opinion is before I do anything yet. Hair transplants are also an option but I need to finish electrolysis and some other priorities first. As I said it's not as bad as it looks in the pictures since the florescent light really makes it look like I'm bald.

But just so you know I am working on it and I do appreciate the advice.

Pickles, I haven't worn the wig since I had surgery. I'm going to see what I they can do with me tomorrow first. I know I would look a lot better with it but it's just not me anymore.

I'll let everyone know what the verdict is when I get back tomorrow. Going to start changing my name on things today.

[Pamela Kay]

Here's a picture from today. I changed my name at social security, my credit union, and on my birth certificate. Tried to change it on a couple of other things but they required my new drivers license which I can't get until tomorrow when social security has updated their database from today. Will get my license tomorrow and have an appointment with the beautician to get my brows done and see what we can do with my hair. One of these pictures is in a different place than I have been taking them so you can see the difference with the lighting. Still thin on top but not as bad without the bright light on me.

Swelling is still going down and still have a few stitches left in my mouth but they are slowly disolving and disappearing. Pain is next to nothing and my face is looking better every day.

I think anyway.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Excellent, the results are now being unveiled as swelling goes down, this is fantastic Pamela.

[Pamela Kay]

I had an update post all typed out last night and with one keystroke "Poof", so we'll try this again.

I had another first yesterday. Went to a salon and had highlights done, a layered and what she described as an edgy cut, and had my brows waxed. It's not a look I had in mind but I kind of left it up to her since I didn't have a clue. It looked a lot better before I walked out into the 30 mph Oklahoma North wind, should have taken pics in the salon.

The makeup was starting to wear thin by the time I took this too so you can see my still ever present shadow. They say it shouldn't be noticeable after the third full clearing and I've had two so far. I can't have another electrolysis treatment until after the first of the year due to the FFS still healing so I'll just have to deal with it for awhile longer. Plus it will give me a little more time to save money and make it through my first holiday's as Pam.

I did spend 2 1/2 very boring hours at the DMV yesterday, but it was worth it since I now have my new name on my new licensce. Yay!!! Still have a lot of places to update with the name change but the biggest ones are now done.

So things are progressing slowly but surely.

[pickles]

Hi Pam you can cover up your shadow with Dermablend in the meantime.

[Pamela Kay]

Here's the latest.

Went out to lunch with some women from my office. I don't go back to work until Nov 13th and they wanted to see me.

My swelling is way down, still have some at the back of my jaws and in front of my ears. Top of my head is still numb as is the area right in front of my ears and partial numbness on my bottom lip. Still smarts if I bend wrong where they did the lipo but doesn't happen very often now.

I haven't been able to do my hair the way the hairdresser did (big suprise) so I've dropped back to the loose blow dried look. I told her I wanted something easy to take care of but apparently our definition of easy was different. Still on the learning curve. I know it's still thin and my makeup needs more work but just got hit with delayed bills from my Mexico trip so will have to get by for another week or two before I can do anything else.

My soon to be ex-wife came by the other evening. She said she didn't see that much difference since the surgery. I told her I didn't either but I'm my own worst critic and it will still be quite some time before everything is settled back to the new normal. I do notice that I don't seem to get read as often or get funny looks as much so I do think things are definitely improved.

This in itself makes it all worth it.

[Eryn]

Pam, you're looking better with every picture! Pay attention to the hairdresser and learn to do the tricks they do. Quite a few GGs have the same issue with their hairline and the reason you seldom see it is because they have learned to style their hair to compensate!

The shadow is also an issue, but you will love what electrolysis does for you. Even though I'm not done yet I don't need any color correction at all!

[Gisellen]

I admire your optimism, but I have to agree with Kelly. Sometimes, it's not all about perception, it's reality. I think a healthy dose of each is good. But don't forget self worth. It's hard to live our lives without high esteem.

Just some advice, passing is 90% attitude I've found out.

Pam, may I ask...have you had laser done on your lips and chin?

Thanks Ladies,

Actually Melissa I have friends who tell me I am on the fast track to transition. Even though it doesn't feel like it I'm sure I'm moving faster than many, as you and Inna have been at it for much longer than me. I don't have a really big problem wearing a hair piece or partial, just don't want to wear a full wig but I will if that's what it takes. I guess you just have to try some things out to convince yourself they won't work sometimes. It is becoming pretty clear that the hair is an issue, not a huge one but enough to get me read. Also I still have swelling from FFS which I'm sure will be around for quite awhile yet.

Actually I've been at this for over a year now. I discovered who I was (finally) in September and started therapy in November. I started weight loss in November and have gone from 209 to 170 lbs since then and started hormones at the end of January so I'm about 9 months in on them, except for the month I had to go off of them for FFS surgery. Been through 2 full facial electrolysis clearings and have more to go so still having to shave. Was wanting to have the clearing done prior to FFS but as with any plan it didn't work out that way.

I came out to my boss and HR in April and to the rest of my coworkers at the end of June. I took off work from Oct 1st thru Nov 12th and had FFS on Oct 2nd. I'm scheduled to return to work as Pam on Nov 13th and started living full time last Sunday so just completed my first week. Next Wednesday is my legal name change hearing which I'm looking forward to so my I.D. and bank cards match my presentation.

I really don't think less of myself, just kind of frustrated I guess. One thing I have learned is that no one thing will make you pass, it's a package deal. FFS, voice, clothes, presentation, etc., it's all part of the big picture and we're all on the short learning curve trying to cram a lifetime of girl learning into a few months or years.

I hope someone finds something useful in my ramblings. I did have a plan when I started transition and so far it has worked out pretty well.

Courage and resolve are just the outward appearance of a person who simply has no choice but to be who they are. I have drawn more strength and knowledge from the members of this forum than you will ever know.

[Michelle.M]

Pam, you're looking fabulous! Getting better every day. Didn't I tell you?

Top of my head is still numb as is the area right in front of my ears and partial numbness on my bottom lip. Still smarts if I bend wrong where they did the lipo but doesn't happen very often now.

And that's normal. Even after 6 months I still have numbness, but it's steadily, albeit slowly, decreasing.

I do notice that I don't seem to get read as often or get funny looks as much so I do think things are definitely improved.

This in itself makes it all worth it.

Yes, it does, and the more time that passes the more that will happen and the more you'll adjust to your new face.

My soon to be ex-wife came by the other evening. She said she didn't see that much difference since the surgery.

Some people will tell you that for different reasons. Sometimes they're still focused on the one or two facial features that didn't get modified as significantly as others, and probably because that's the anchor of familiarity that subconsciously allows them to see you as you. Sometimes they do that to be mean. Sometimes they're frustrated with their own stagnant lives and can only throw stones at those who live a viable and dynamic life. It'll diminish with time.

I also get that "the surgery really didn't do much for you" stuff from some people.

[Pamela Kay]

Gisellen,

I have never had laser, just electrolysis. Since laser isn't permanent and I have a lot of grey coming in now due to my age, I decided to go with electrolysis. If the laser didn't get it all I would have had to have electrolysis anyway and didn't see the need to take a chance on paying twice for the same clearing.

I have had two complete clearings on my face and neck but due to the surgery they don't want you to have electrolysis for about 2 months after surgery. I made my next appointment this week for the third clearing but it won't be until January 23rd due to the holiday's.

I had an upper lip lift, fat injections into the lips, and chin and jaw contouring when I had FFS.

Michelle,

Thanks, it's getting there and you and Melissa told me I would see less change than others. I have heard from some that they didn't see much difference and others say they almost didn't recognize me. So like you say, I think a lot of it depends on their perspective on how they want to see you as much as what they see. This is probably why people that don't know me don't read me as easy or notice as much.

You look great by the way! I don't see that anyone could say surgery didn't do much for you!

[pickles]

It's really hard to tell from what I noticed with FFS until everything gets "settled."

Like you said, you still have swelling around the jaws which is going to make you look more more masculine until that goes away.

I congratulate you on just doing what makes you happy and going for your dreams