Thanks Ladies,
Actually Melissa I have friends who tell me I am on the fast track to transition. Even though it doesn't feel like it I'm sure I'm moving faster than many, as you and Inna have been at it for much longer than me. I don't have a really big problem wearing a hair piece or partial, just don't want to wear a full wig but I will if that's what it takes. I guess you just have to try some things out to convince yourself they won't work sometimes. It is becoming pretty clear that the hair is an issue, not a huge one but enough to get me read. Also I still have swelling from FFS which I'm sure will be around for quite awhile yet.
Actually I've been at this for over a year now. I discovered who I was (finally) in September and started therapy in November. I started weight loss in November and have gone from 209 to 170 lbs since then and started hormones at the end of January so I'm about 9 months in on them, except for the month I had to go off of them for FFS surgery. Been through 2 full facial electrolysis clearings and have more to go so still having to shave. Was wanting to have the clearing done prior to FFS but as with any plan it didn't work out that way.
I came out to my boss and HR in April and to the rest of my coworkers at the end of June. I took off work from Oct 1st thru Nov 12th and had FFS on Oct 2nd. I'm scheduled to return to work as Pam on Nov 13th and started living full time last Sunday so just completed my first week. Next Wednesday is my legal name change hearing which I'm looking forward to so my I.D. and bank cards match my presentation.
I really don't think less of myself, just kind of frustrated I guess. One thing I have learned is that no one thing will make you pass, it's a package deal. FFS, voice, clothes, presentation, etc., it's all part of the big picture and we're all on the short learning curve trying to cram a lifetime of girl learning into a few months or years.
I hope someone finds something useful in my ramblings. I did have a plan when I started transition and so far it has worked out pretty well.
Courage and resolve are just the outward appearance of a person who simply has no choice but to be who they are. I have drawn more strength and knowledge from the members of this forum than you will ever know.