My FFS Surgery!

[pickles]

No one else want to see an update?

[Pamela Kay]

Sorry, haven't been here to often lately. Here are some pictures from the day I went to my therapist and endocronologist this week. Still improving and getting ready to go back to work on Tuesday. This is also the outfit I plan to wear on my first day back.

I figure if your going to make a splash, make a big one.

[Michelle.M]

WOWWWW! Pam, you look great, and getting prettier all the time! And the outfit is a home run!

[Pamela Kay]

Thanks Michelle, I can say the same about you! I met some of the girls from work for lunch yesterday, they have been really great and supportive through my transition and I'd never have made it this far without some of them.

[Nicole Erin]

Looking good

Couple things - if the "shadow" is a problem, you can always tweeze facial hair, I assume you have a mix of black ones and gray ones. Hitting the black ones will help, of course don't go nuts if you are having electro, that way they will have something to zap.

With the hair - you can always adopt a femme style that hides the hairline. I know cause I do this - I have receding on the sides but you would never know cause of how I wear my hair. You have enough to work with, it is not like you are Dr Phil.

Just so you see it is possible and not difficult - I tweeze my Amish beard (cannot afford electro) and hide my recedes. Just try to find shadow...

[morgan51]

Pam you are truly improving daily what a difference a week makes! Encouraging for me to say the least I've a lot to do yet, Compare the 2 pictures one is your profile one is you at lunch notice anything? Hugs Sis. Morgan

[Pamela Kay]

Just a little happier Morgan.

[Pamela Kay]

Thanks Nicole.

The electrogists don't like for you to pluck hair where they are going to zap them, something about damaging the root or something. I pluck any really big ones but leave the rest. They say that you start to loose the shadow after the third full clearing and that's my next one so I am getting closer.

[Nicole Erin]

That is cool. Any reduction in the beard is progress, not one has to have it completely gone before seeing results. I guess if one is getting electro then tweezing is not a concern.

[Badtranny]

That is cool. Any reduction in the beard is progress, not one has to have it completely gone before seeing results. I guess if one is getting electro then tweezing is not a concern.

But your picture looks great lady, and I applaud you for following your heart one way or another. You may be nuts but you got guts! ;-)

Pam, you are REALLY coming along. How's the voice work so far?

[Pamela Kay]

But your picture looks great lady, and I applaud you for following your heart one way or another. You may be nuts but you got guts! ;-)

Pam, you are REALLY coming along. How's the voice work so far?

Thanks so much Melissa!

The voice still needs a lot of work, more than I have been giving it but it is getting better slowly.

Not sure about the guts but I do have plans to get rid of the nuts sometime in the future.

[morgan51]

You called it the smile! You do look much happier. Patience with the beard I'v had my mustache cleared 5 times and its just starting to give up. lol Most of the dark hairs have quit but I still get white all over the place random. M.

[ColleenA]

I have had almost no time to visit this site for the last 3-4 weeks, so I am just now catching up on your posts, Pam. I have to say I really like your photos. Comparing the most recent to those immediately after the surgery, I can see a lot of swelling has gone down and your looks are coming out nicely (I was going to say "settling in" but felt "coming out" was more accurate). But I know from my BFF's FFS and a GG friend's tuck on her neck that it will take a while before you can see the final result.

I also see you have excellent taste in clothes.

Congratulations, too, on all the headway with getting your name changed and updated on all your records.


Regarding your hair - I will give my view, which may not be worth anything:

I am just tired of hiding and not being me. I realized a short time ago that I had been playing the part of a man and was trying to do the same by playing the part of a woman instead of being myself. I realize there are some things that have to be done to pass as a woman.

I can see there is frustration in the feeling that you had to present a particular image - "playing the part" - to satisfy people's expectations. And while a few people pursue an idealized self-image to an unhealthy degree (anorexia, for instance, or multiple body modification surgeries), to a certain extent we all work to display our best features while minimizing or even masking others.

Please don't be hard on yourself or think anyone will accuse you of being fraudulent as a woman in any way if you turn to a hairpiece (full or partial) as a means to present a more cohesive image. (End of rant)


Since it is late on the 12th, I will close this post with my best wishes when you go back to work tomorrow:
Go in there and own it, girl!

Colleen

[TeresaL]

I just have to say that you are improving in every picture you post. It's astonishing just how much is going on in this "settling in." Yer making it into something that I wanna do too!

[Pamela Kay]

My first day back at work went really well and there weren't any major issues. I know it was weird for everyone but they welcomed me back and even bought doughnuts! One of the ladies brought me a rose plant and my new name plate was already on my desk when I got there. All in all a really good day and I thank my coworkers for being so accepting. It was a really good day and hopefully there are many more to come!

[ReineD]

I'm glad it went well for you, Pamela. It's nice to read stories about successful on-the-job transitions. I can't help but feel that you must have a caring nature, for the people in your office to respect your changes and care in return!

[Eryn]

Pamela, it's nice to see that you're back to work and the folks there were glad to have you back. I'm sure that their little gestures made you feel great!

[Nicole Erin]

Looking good
Now tell us also - isn't the new name, especially the name plate one of the most validating things there is?

I cannot afford surgery of any kind (not sure i would want any, not one to enjoy the doc) but I remember when I got my name change, I was like, "this is who I am now".

I bet it was awesome for - going back to work with a new face, new name, and the proof of the new you.

[Pamela Kay]

Yes people at work have been great so far, still a few that were out this week that will see me for the first time next week. Only had one lady that was really having trouble with it but she came around by the end of the first day after talking to her husband and some of our coworkers. Hasn't been an issue since.

Nicole, it is great to have my name changed, the only thing is it isn't changed on my work ID or my email yet. I work for the federal government and they don't get in a hurry about anything. Sent them my legal name change documents the day after I got them but that also happened to be when Sandy hit the east coast. Sent an email to the HR guy yesterday but he was out on leave which a lot of people will be during the holidays. Hopefully I will get it before long, I hate checking in at the security gate every morning with my old badge that still has my old name and picture on it, same on the email.

It will get changed soon hopefully and things will be even better.

[Nicole Erin]

Yes people at work have been great so far, still a few that were out this week that will see me for the first time next week. Only had one lady that was really having trouble with it but she came around by the end of the first day after talking to her husband and some of our coworkers. Hasn't been an issue since.

Oh yeah there will always be at least one who is like that. Every party has a pooper. Since no one was jumping on her hate bandwagon, she gave up quick. Waste no worry on her

Nicole, it is great to have my name changed, the only thing is it isn't changed on my work ID or my email yet. I work for the federal government and they don't get in a hurry about anything. Sent them my legal name change documents the day after I got them but that also happened to be when Sandy hit the east coast. Sent an email to the HR guy yesterday but he was out on leave which a lot of people will be during the holidays. Hopefully I will get it before long, I hate checking in at the security gate every morning with my old badge that still has my old name and picture on it, same on the email. It will get changed soon hopefully and things will be even better.

OH YEAH that is another thing that we learn - Nothing else automatically changes when you change your name in court. No, it is up to the person to do ALL the footwork after that. Soc security cards, bank records, DMV records, utilities, creditors, updating old employers in case someone calls to verify employment, the list goes on and on. I would say going to court and having the notorized documents then in hand is the easy part. Put on your comfy walking shoes. NOW the real fun begins
But yeah, the GOVT is seldom in a rush for anything so just have to be patient.

But beyond the foot work, still THE most important part is done. You are NOW your chosen identity. Each "legal" step for your new name will be a pleasure. "I had my name changed from John to Jane, and here is my court order..." LOVE IT

Folks sorry I keep rambling about this but I get all excited for my sisters who can get their name changed. I just remember the day I walked out of court with MY new name, it was like, "Wow, this is who I am, this is really who I am". I don't get excited about stuff but I remember walking on the clouds that day.

[Michelle.M]

Nothing else automatically changes when you change your name in court. No, it is up to the person to do ALL the footwork after that . . . But yeah, the GOVT is seldom in a rush for anything so just have to be patient.

Honestly, the one and only thing that took forever was getting my name change on my VA records. Not because of any arcane policies but just because the regional office here has only one guy who does it and he's just not very efficient.

Social Security was immediate when I went into the office here to have it done as was my driver's license, and everything else went quickly as well. I got almost everything done in less than 2 months. I just recently did the last 2 credit cards that I was dragging my feet on, so that only leaves the birth certificate after surgery.

[Traci Elizabeth]

Pamela,

I am really late on this thread but you know where I have been and what I have been doing. Nevertheless, I have read all the posts and all of your responses and followed all your picture changes. You have come a long way and I am so happy for you. Seeing the reception you had waiting for you on your first day back to work was so touching. Congrats! You deserve the acceptance you have been getting. Now, you just need to keep an eye out for those male advances.

[pickles]

Hi Pam, just wanted to say you're looking great (inspite of the florescent lighting lol.) Can't wait to see you after you're all healed up!

[Pamela Kay]

Hi everyone,

I'm 6 weeks into full time as of today and almost 8 weeks out from surgery. So far I haven't had any major issues with my transition at work, still one or two that haven't seen me in person yet but I don't see any problems. I have to teach in a class in a couple weeks so that will be my first time out teaching as Pam. My voice is still not great but improving slowly and hopefully I will be able to make it through an hour and a half of lecture.

I went to my therapist and my endocronolgist week before last. My endo was very impressed by the work Dr. Cardenas had done and said I would have hardly any scarring at all. My therapist is also very impressed and happy with my results and my transition. I told her I am not noticed nearly as much since surgery and that I guess I had been transformed from a guy dressed to a homely woman. She laughed and told me I was not a homely woman. It has been a year this month since I first saw her and she has been with me the whole time and is amazed at the difference in me from our first meetings until now.

I am happy with my FFS results even though I was expecting a more dramatic change. I think I had some unrealistic expectations to look totally different and I do look a lot different but more of a softer feminine version of myself. I am still healing but I have begun to see the new me in the mirror now, not a totally different me as I first thought I wanted but still me. Dr. Cardenas is very concerned with the results of his work looking natural and I believe that is why his approach isn't quite as radical as some of the other FFS surgeons. This is the reason I chose him and I am becoming more happy with the results every day.

Here are a couple pictures I took after work last Friday which is usually casual jeans day.

[Stephanie-L]

Pam, you are looking good, it gives me hope. I think you will find your change to be a bit more dramatic as time goes on, look at photos of Melissa, she is further along than you, and still changing a bit. keep posting, I always love to see how you are doing........Stephanie