Meetiing another CD through this Fourm - Safe?

[ChelseaErtel]

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[Princess29]

I'd say meet in guy mode, in a public space like a at a mall or for coffee and see if you hit it off. If you do and feel comfortable, then I guess go ahead and invite the other person to your room but if not, you can just essentially walk away


Melissa

[stephNE]

You girls are so funny. I love it. Thank you!
But seriously, I also would be afraid to meet someone for an "arranged" meeting. And no matter what, I wouldn't let them dress in my room. Be careful.

[Billiebluenose1878 GG]

Not a good idea ..unless its at a controlled event ... best be safe than sorry ...xxx

[ChelseaErtel]

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[Kate Simmons]

If the FBI, CIA or NSA thought the Forum was a threat, it would have been shut down long ago. I've met several friends from the Forum personally. We have to get to know them both on here and perhaps E-Mails, phone conversations and the like. This will instill confidence that they are who they say they are. I have invited several friends on here to talk on the phone but not all respond. I reach out and extend myself for others but not everyone has the confidence to respond. I don't let that discourage me, however, and keep trying. I've gotten together with several friends through the multiple yearly CD/TG weekends the LGBT resort I go to puts on. Very few get togethers have been disappointing but as with anything else in life, people will be people. In a perfect world there would be no trepidation but as it is society has fostered many negative attitudes with regard to TG people, so we just do the best we can and give it our best shot, nothing more or less.

[Billiebluenose1878 GG]

You are right Kate, but i was just saying to be guarded ... nothing wrong in a bit of self preservation in this crazy hectic world we reside on xxxx

[meganmartin]

Chelsea,

I would have no problem letting someone use my room which I have used others rooms for dressing. As long as both parties understand where they each stand it would be fine. Personally i have never had any issues. When in doubt just be upfront with the person this is where there is no confusion.

Megan

[Karren H]

I've met and dressed with some local girls and it took months.... many months of chatting to get comfortable that they understood what I expected.... which was meeting and dressing..... so many have ulterior motives and hidden agendas that you might not find out about until your vulnerable and end up going somewhere you didn't want to go.... get some nasty std..... or you wake up in the ER..... beware and be careful!

[Stephenie S]

Well. I have met many wonderful people from this forum over the years I have been here.

That said, I get dressed by myself in private. And I have zero desire to watch anyone else getting dressed, thank you very much.

S

[Wildaboutheels]

This other person is coming as a man and wants to change in your room. Why is there a problem? Meet in the lobby or lounge as men and if you feel confident, you can both change in your room. Certainly you don't think someone would go to the trouble of joining this Forum simply to somehow "harm" a CDer do you? That IS paranoia.

Or do you not trust your intuition or have a good feel for people?

You might not get another chance you know.

[Karren H]

. Certainly you don't think someone would go to the trouble of joining this Forum simply to somehow "harm" a CDer do you? That IS paranoia.
.

...well..... given the fact that crossdressers are very good at hiding the truth.... and are extremely good liars.... just ask my wife! lol. and define "harm"? maybe not hurt harm but get what they want..... just saying....

[Kate Simmons]

I just want to add that most of my CD friends and I get together in both modes and can enjoy each others company regardless of how we are dressed. We are always just ourselves and that is what really counts. If my potential friends were reluctant to do that, I'd probably get a caution flag up.

[ChelseaErtel]

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[Badtranny]

OMG!

I have never seen so much concern over meeting someone for a cup of coffee!

That's all this is. A fellow closet case wants to play dress up, so meet her for coffee and see if you girls can share the same space without creeping each other out. If one of you is nervous or uncomfortable THEN it gets real complicated cuz you're gonna have to say "I'm not really as comfortable as I thought I would be. I'm sorry. Let's stay in touch and maybe try it again some other time." Yeah, that's a real tricky situation alright.

[Tina B.]

Just remember, just because we both wear womens clothing doesn't mean we have anything else in common, I wouldn't invite anyone up to my room until we had met, and talked, There are CD's we meet, and then there are friends that CD, they aren't always the same thing. As a closet CD, be careful what you share, not everyone can keep a secret.
Tina B.

[KatieTaylor]

I would be very wary about meeting up with anyone from the internet. Especially from a forum such as this one, because there are so many people that think what we do is wrong, you have no way of knowing who you are dealing with until it's too late.
Also as you are closeted you potentially have a lot to lose by being outed.
Katie Taylor x

[becky77]

I can see both sides of this, many on here have no connection with other CDs then see someone who lives nearby and wants to connect. Thats pretty normal isn't it? And you would think anyone on this forum who has posted often enough should be genuine, it would be sad to think otherwise. However I am also very guarded because ultimately we don't even know if a picture on here is really that person, yes paranoid but you have to be cautious especially if you are a closet CD.
My advise, assume the person is genuine (you have had an idea of them by their postings) but add a bit more getting to know time, email each other, send pictures in both modes, then maybe in man attire meet up just for a coffee in a neutral place. By that stage you should know if either one wants to go further.
Don't miss an opportunity for friendship but also be careful.

[Babeba]

OMG!

I have never seen so much concern over meeting someone for a cup of coffee!

That's all this is. A fellow closet case wants to play dress up, so meet her for coffee and see if you girls can share the same space without creeping each other out. If one of you is nervous or uncomfortable THEN it gets real complicated cuz you're gonna have to say "I'm not really as comfortable as I thought I would be. I'm sorry. Let's stay in touch and maybe try it again some other time." Yeah, that's a real tricky situation alright.

This. Exactly this. Entirely this. Yes, this.

I wouldn't worry about being outed by someone in the same boat as you, because that would out them, too.

[Cindy M]

I met Megan Martin a couple of months ago for lunch. We had been emailing, then had a couple of phone conversations. We met at the food court in the mall as guys. We met again at SCC as Cindy and Megan. We stay in touch often, now. If you are nervous, this is a good way to meet someone in a safe enviroment. This was my 1st time ever meeting someone dressed and I was extremely nervous. Megan is a great person and I'm very happy I met her. Be careful... but don't miss the chance to make friends

[Beverley Sims]

You are both in the same boat riding the rapids, going down stream for a cup of coffee.
Neither of you is going to out the other, you both share a past time and interest.
If the personalities are in conflict, say nice to meet you and see you next time.
I would establish some contact by mailing each other and getting to know each other beforehand.

[Ressie]

I'm still uneasy, and nervous about even being on this forum

Since you just joined within the last month I can understand. Every CD has a different level of what they're comfortable with. As others have said you could meet in public first and then decide what to do next. You could designate a time and place to meet without sharing the hotel you're staying at until later if you decide to.

[ChelseaErtel]

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[ChelseaErtel]

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[Lorileah]

There is a certain strange factor with this. You don't know the person and you will be seeing them in some degree of undress (as they will you). I don't know you and have not kept up with your posts but are you comfortable with this?

I have met people from on line forums and it has always been a positive experience. Just the fact that you are going to share a hotel room to dress seems strange. Are you going out afterward? Are just going to look at each other? I dunno, just seem strange to me. I don't get what is going to happen. Are you just a convenient place to change clothes?