All dressed up and nowhere to go

[2B Natasha]

Earlier in the week. My wife decided that she needed to update freshen up her wardrobe. Since she is not the big shopper. More of a buyer. You know. Decide what you want before you go into store. Buy it and leave. If they don't have it. Just leave. No looking around. I am more of a shopper. Bit more up on fashion style. So anyway. She calls me tells me she wants to go shopping. The weekend comes we go. When we are done. We head into the mall. We walk past an Arden B store where they have a great drag queen dress in the window. I walk over and get a closer look and tell her I like it.

This is where the discussion gets more interesting.

She looks at me and says. " You have a whole closet full of ball gowns and you never wear them. I going to find a place we can go and you can get all dressed up."

Me. " That's great. But I've been racking my brain about wear we can go all dressed up in evening dresses for weeks. But I can't think of any. And BTW. I only really have one evening dress."

She here's the question. And some background.

Where do you wear an evening dress out to?

We are not poor or rich. We treat ourselves to nicer restaurants one a month or so. We do the theatre every 8 weeks or so. But except for GNO's that I plan. Our friends dint really gather for formal events. Not being really wealthy. We don't really do charity events like tuxes and takes or the like. Neither of us are big drinkers and I especially like to go anywhere. So I don't limit myself to tranny bars and support groups are not my thing.


So I ask again. Where do people go when they want to get there glamorous girl on?

[Eryn]

Some of us belong to CDing groups that arrange dinners at nice restaurants where evening wear fits right in. Some, like the "River City Gems" group in Sacramento, set up balls where genuine ball gowns are acceptable.

So, what if such a group does not exist where you are? Step up and create your own! The demand is certainly out there, but someone has to do the legwork to find good venues and get the ball rolling. The start could be as simple as two or three CDers (and hopefully, spouses) getting together. Once established, you'll likely find a lot of people who want to participate.

[2B Natasha]

Hi Eryn. Thanks for the reply.

Nope. That is not gonna happen. I have spent a good portion of my life being the organizer and I would like to turn that over. Dreaming up ideas and dealing with all the issues as to why people can't do things is tiring.

I really want to find events and venues I can just go and be with my wife. I enjoy her time with me more then anybody except my son. We go out and shop and dine and people watch. We shop together and yak it up. Support groups are just not my thing. I went I tried and it wasn't just my thing.

There is one group that get's together about 45 min away at a bar/Club called Myx(sp). But like I said earlier I/we are not bar/club people. Plus they gather on friday and i/we are so spent Friday that we prefer Saturday as a time to go out. Friday is snuggle time on the sofa watching the Tivo.

[Eryn]

I know where you're coming from. I've been the organizer too and it does have its frustrations.

My outings are of four varieties. Some are with my wife, for casual shopping and dining. Others are with another couple and sometimes include events such as concerts (classical or opera, not rock!) as well as dinner. I've written about some of these outings here. The third variety are with an established CDing group to "lgbt friendly" restaurants. The fourth is with a group of more adventuresome CDers to nice mainstream restaurants. All of these are fun in their own way.

Note that we don't care for bars either. CDing and people who have been drinking to get drunk don't go well together. I like being with my wife and friends and that gives me an opportunity to dress up nicely now and then, as well as allowing me to go out in just a pretty top and Capris when I want to be more casual.

[Sara Jessica]

I have dresses that will never see the light of day in SoCal for the same reasons you describe, a lack of events that call for such attire. But once a year I attend Diva Las Vegas and that is the chance to break out the fancy stuff.

[KateSpade83]

I don't have a single evening gown, just a special "evening" St John skirtsuit. I only go out in skirt suits, casual wear, or my cheerleader outfit.

[AllieSF]

Natasha, Seattle is far from being a backwoods town with no culture nor opportunities to get dressed up. Look at the symphony, opera, ballet, live theater at the big theaters, like when they have a Broadway show, and even a very upscale restaurant where you can dress for a special occasion like an anniversary. You will definitely see some people way dressed down, bit I think that you will fit in unless you are talking about formal clothes like prom dresses. Good luck and enjoy.

[Launa]

I will be wearing a real nice ball gown this halloween, it has a touch of the "Flamenco look" to it. Everybody that has seen it says its gorgeous and they always ask where are you going to wear that to?
Last year I wore it out to a gay bar and that was my first time ever stepping out of the closet. This year I want to wear it but not to a gay bar. I'm thinking of going a real nice TG friendly hotel in my city and hang out in the restaurant/bar for the night. I might not spend the 300+ bucks to stay there for the night. I will just be in the classsy lounge that really doesn't cost any more $ than any other place to go out to.

[Beverley Sims]

From what I have experienced in Seattle, and that isn't much I haven't seen the opportunity to really dress up.
Then again I go there in winter and haven't cultivated any contacts there.
I like Las Vegas for dressing up. The adult theme park of the U.S.

[Veronica27]

My favourite form of crossdressing is the ultra classy, long evening gown way of dressing up. My least favourite is the "everyday" jeans and t-shirt, or androgynous style of dressing. I wear jeans and t-shirts most of the time as it is, and I want the crossdressing experience to be something completely different. But if I get all dressed up to the nines, and just sit around the house watching the tube, I begin to feel out of place, because that is not the way people dress for such occasions. While my wife is quite accepting of my crossdressing, and has attended CD events with me, she is not comfortable about going out anywhere else with me en femme. Also, even if I could encourage her to give it a try, there are no places I can think of in our region that would be suitable. We like to dine out, but there are very few fine dining restaurants within a wide radius of home, and we are pretty much known now at most of them. My wife certainly wouldn't want to show up with her unusual lady friend at any of these. We are not fans of the bar/club scene, being senior citizens, and we are also known by the staff at the only theatres in the area. I am not much for joining large groups, but would like to meet some other like-minded crossdressers in my area, but so far have had no luck.

We do like to travel to some of the larger urban areas, for special occasions, and enjoy the dining and theatre experiences we find while there. However, as these are usually birthdays, anniversaries and such, my wife wants to be with her "man". This whole issue of getting out is not one that gets discussed by us very much, and is not one that I am comfortable pushing too far as she is so accepting of my crossdressing in all other respects, that I am reluctant to do anything to upset that.

This thread and all the replies has been very interesting to me, as it hits home to my own situation very closely.

Veronica

[2B Natasha]

From what I have experienced in Seattle, and that isn't much I haven't seen the opportunity to really dress up.
Then again I go there in winter and haven't cultivated any contacts there.
I like Las Vegas for dressing up. The adult theme park of the U.S.

Exactly. Well almost. There are plenty of venues and events. But it's just so dang laid back and casual. Almost nobody gets dressed to do ANYTHING around here. The plus is anybody and everybody is welcome and fits but sheesh.

I guess it's the theatre and out to dinner and like you said. Las Vegas! Wife's never been. Must be about time to go.

[Oilpainter35]

Any Casino on a Saturday evening....especially near a Holiday, like Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas, many have parties near or at them..It would be perfect for a cover, and Most are not overly lit. Perfect for a night out.

[heatherdress]

Some possibilities - join a TRI-ESS group and attend monthly get-togethers (if there is one locally); take a dancing class and dress-up; go to Las Vegas; go to a CD major function

[Carrie R]

How about Benaroya Hall, folks were pretty spiffed up when I went there once. Don't think I could do it dressed up though. Then again these days I can't seem to do it anywhere but home.

[paulinescotlandcd]

Interesting to read this as I tend to go for the very dressy look and I have only been out once, a Christmas dinner with a group of other CD'ers. I can't deny that once all my makeup is done and that zip comes up on the dress I always feel as though I should be going out out as all my effort seems something of a waste. Alas, I pad about the house and just take a few pictures.

[Tina B.]

Sorry Seattle is so laid back, San Francisco has all kind of places where evening wear fits right in, Restaurants, theaters, just all kinds of places, The wife and I where in a bar in the theater district one night having a nite cap before retuning to our hotel, when the theater emptied out, the ladies came pouring out dressed in beautiful gowns, furs, and jewelry that would make a stick up artist cry. That was years ago, but if I know the city that hasn't changed. I have always loved to dress up, male or female, and when I wanted to wear a suit, and my "City over coat" it was time for a weekend in the city, down in San Jose, where I lived at the time, they just seemed out of place but in the city we fit right in.
Tina B.