Feeling like Crap

[Thera Home]

Hello my Friends

I have been reading posts that some folks share with us. A common issue that we all have at times is feeling down and out, down in the dump depressed feelings. I wonder why we have these feelings. Some of us just have it occasionally why some of us basically live there. Why do you believe we expierence these feelings and how do some of us deal with them. I think that a lot of us in some cases feel caged in either by family responsibilities, job responsibilities, or other issues that just keep knawing at us. Some seek therapy while others deal with it meditation and or prayer. I have expierenced(just like everyone else on this world)many heartaches,headaches and just life in general bullsh*t that just wears the hell out of me. I handle it with constant prayer and I seem to be happier about things than before. No, the problem doesn't go away, I just see from an optimistic perspective and it most definitly make the going forward easier fo me.

How do you deal with it and does it help?
Thank You for sharing your stories with us.



Thera

[Karren H]

I deal with it by never getting upset or depressed or upset.... rarely ever... love my life..... love my family... love my job... no longer have any financial worries... yeah issues come up but you work through them.... what engineers do.... solve problems..... just the way I am....

[Megan Briana]

I try to isolate the thing that put me into the depression and see if I can remedy it somehow. If i cant isolate, then I just fall deeper until I pull my self out of it. To do that, I play my guitar or try and do something to break whatever routine I have been in. I usually face this alone, which is a mistake. I know. There are things in my life I just can't talk to fiends or family about. But I do usually find a way out for the most part.
I do pray, and I realize that sometimes He lets me make these choices (mistakes?) so I can learn from. So whenever I get down, I try to understand what it was that put me there and why it affects me that way, and how to find my way out of it.

[MicheleCooper]

Trust me I'm there right now - for the past week and now this week I have worked 11-12 hour days (I normally do 10 hrs), trying to get school done (bright idea go back to college when I was 39 - luckily one year left in my quest to be a teacher), two weeks ago was my mom's one year passing, and there is about seven (including myself) people living in my house. No privacy, no time, no money, no dressing....it begins to wear on me. The way I keep myself occupied is reading role playing games books or comic books online, it isn't much but if I don't keep my mind distracted I'm afraid I'm going to have frontal lobotomy instead of a bottle in front of me.

[EllieOPKS]

Everybody gets down and depressed eventually. 99% of it is in your own control. You can go on a pity party and hide behind it or you can look for the things that make you happy. A lot of people take for granite what they have and only see the speed bumps. I refuse to allow myself to get in a rut and focus on the positives rather than negatives. There is a saying that goes like this " Don't sweat the small stuff, and most of it is small stuff". Time spent moping can never be recovered.

[Gillian Gigs]

I find that the more I think about "me" the worse things get. I will focus on others and find a way to help someone, which in the end makes me feel better because I did something for someone other than "me". Finding things to be thankful about helps also. Sometimes we don't know how good we have it until we stop and start to be thankful for what we do have. Giving of our time, talents, or finances into someone's life makes us feel better, because it takes the focus off of "me". Being optimistic helps also.

[STACY B]

Shop,,,,,, Then go home an wear for awhile an then put away an Shop again ,,Get ya hair done ,,,THEN SHOP again ,,GO home wear put away then go get ya nails done ,, Then shop again ,,,, An on ,,on,,,,on,,,, Worked for me !!

[NicoleScott]

If it's something I can change, I do what I can to change it. If it's soomething I can't change, worrying about it sure won't change it.
I have had two jobs that lasted exactly two weeks. Positive outlook going in, but I soon realized that the jobs didn't suit me. So I quit. It wasn't the money. I didn't want to spend years in a job I hated, so I got out, early, while it was easiest. Life goes on.

[Kathi Lake]

You've noticed, eh?

There have been many posts over the course of the last week or so detailing battles with depression, lack of acceptance, etc. I've wondered if something is in the water here. If not in the water, maybe in their expectations, perhaps?

As Purple said, the sun will indeed come out tomorrow. Life will get better.

Kathi

[heatherdress]

Could be seasonal, too. Seasonal affective disorder is a mood disorder in which people who have normal mental health throughout most of the year experience depressive symptoms with seasonal change, year after year. They may sleep too much, have little energy, and may also feel depressed.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sea...sorder/DS00195

[sandra-leigh]

I sleep. Not as escapism, but because my depression makes me really tired.

I am not in a good place this last while. I've had biochemical-linked depression nearly a decade now, and it is getting its kicks in again the last few months. I'm not stressed about anything in particular, but I get emotionally down about being depressed. "When will this end?!". I'm supposed to be working on something and I haven't been able to bring myself to start it, and I get emotionally depressed about that. The hills are too tall to start climbing...

Not that I do not have specific stressors in my life. My doctors and therapists glance at my life situation and say "It's no wonder you're depressed!" -- that even if I wasn't transgender dealing with transition issues, there would be more than enough there to lead many people to emotional depression. But the other things feel like "This will pass in time" or "Something will work out", with "being depressed long-term" being the prospect that feels most hopeless.

[Brianna612]

Shop,,,,,, Then go home an wear for awhile an then put away an Shop again ,,Get ya hair done ,,,THEN SHOP again ,,GO home wear put away then go get ya nails done ,, Then shop again ,,,, An on ,,on,,,,on,,,, Worked for me !!

I shop and dress all the time. I must be really depressed. Won't somebody help me!

Remember Positive thinking brings positive results. Figure out what is the cause and take positive strides toward a solution.

[Leah Lynn]

Yes,as a matter of fact I am depressed right now, but I have a good reason; I just lost my wife.

[Tracii G]

Sorry about your wife Leah that has to be hard for you right now my condolences.
Depression is kind of becoming the "In thing to be" all over facebook and at work you see people claiming to be depressed.
My Dad called it a pity party too."Oh woe is me I'm so depressed life is just too hard" is what he would say.
He said Son life is hard get used to it. When life throws you a sh&% sandwich and you have to eat it and go on.
If you don't like it change what you can and don't worry about the things you can't change.

[Jorja]

Yes,as a matter of fact I am depressed right now, but I have a good reason; I just lost my wife.

Leah, I am sorry for your loss. Please know we are all here for you. As hard as it might be to believe right now, it will get better. Life will go on. I know this because I lost my husband four years ago.

[Kate Simmons]

Hi Thera, There is no "magic billet" to take away all of the responsibilities we have and mundane duties we must perform. No one else is going to do them for us and they won't go away on their own. We can escape for awhile to enjoy being our "ideal princess" but as with everything else, it eventually comes to an end. I think living with ourselves is really the greatest challenge but the real trick is no matter how we present or who we may become we need to turn around all the necessary things and make them work for us and enjoy the results. It doesn't happen overnight and takes effort but the beginning of it is truly understanding ourselves and finding out who we are. Then we can move forward in a positive direction. When we control our own destiny, anything is possible Hon.

[Alice Torn]

Tera, Do you walk, run, or have a bicycle? I was riding mine yesterday, and decided to ride into the town cemetery. a lot of people there lived before the War between the States! It was very enlightening, and interesting. I used to be a gravedigger, at an old cemetery in Renton Washington. It was depressing, but also highly interesting, and i did a lot of thinking and meditating there. I am a depressive, too, all my life, and considered suicide countless times, even recently. I seldom feel good anytime now, but am thankful for my loving funny cats, and bicycle. No wife or SO. You will survive, if you want to. We humans and animals are so very adaptable to so much crap, and survive. If your wife does love you, know that we here do, and a Higher Power does. and a dear pet would.

[suit]

I read some where, when you go to bed think of good things you have done and are going to do . do not Pray for things you dont want . so no thinking about bad befor bed!. try that .

[heatherdress]

Leah - I am very sorry about your loss.

[docrobbysherry]

Leah, I'm so sorry for your loss! I hope you'll be ok?

Most people get depressed, down, unhappy, etc. It's simply human nature. But, it's NOT natural to feel that way often! It strikes some more than others. I'm more like Karren.

I got kicked around when I was young. I got out of the service at 25 and vowed to move ahead and not take crap from life or anyone else there after!

Except for my separation and divorce I've had an upbeat, can do attitude ever since. Even THAT worked out ok! My ex left, Sherry showed up!

Bad things happen to good people. I know a lot of them rite now. But, they've spent their lives walking around bent over. At first, they seemed surprised when they got kicked. After awhile, I think they got used to it and even come to EXPECT IT!

Don't walk around expecting bad things to happen or THEY WILL! If u expect good things to happen then THEY WILL! Plan and control your life, don't let it control u!

If u can't change your mood/attitude, GET HELP!
No one DESERVES to be unhappy!

[Beverley Sims]

There is a Monty Python song, "Look on the bright side of life."
If you can laugh at your "disabilities", cast aside your depression and brighten up a little, the sun is always shining somewhere.
I find when I am down, I have to realise there are people worse off than me.
I felt a little self centered for a few days when I had prostate cancer.
They ripped it out of me and in the recovery ward there were a lot of sick people that were going to DIE.
Me I only had cancer and I am still in the had stage.
Others are here today and gone tomorrow. That is the truth.
So always think of the song and think.......
Things could be worse, it could be raining.

To those others that have a terminal illness, I do feel for you.
Beverley.

[Erica2Sweet]

Hi Thera.

You may find the answer to some of your questions here: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...t=#post2976178

[Thera Home]

I find that the more I think about "me" the worse things get. I will focus on others and find a way to help someone, which in the end makes me feel better because I did something for someone other than "me". Finding things to be thankful about helps also. Sometimes we don't know how good we have it until we stop and start to be thankful for what we do have. Giving of our time, talents, or finances into someone's life makes us feel better, because it takes the focus off of "me". Being optimistic helps also.

I agree Gillian, when others are on your mind constantly there's no time to think about yourself which helps but sometimes you need to stop and smell the flowers and do yourself a pit stop(so to speak) just to recharge your batteries

Shop,,,,,, Then go home an wear for awhile an then put away an Shop again ,,Get ya hair done ,,,THEN SHOP again ,,GO home wear put away then go get ya nails done ,, Then shop again ,,,, An on ,,on,,,,on,,,, Worked for me !!

Sorry Stacy, Im broke and my money machine is also broke
If I win the lotto I'll most definitly try it

Yes,as a matter of fact I am depressed right now, but I have a good reason; I just lost my wife.

Leah, Im so sorry to hear of your loss, youre in my prayers and thoughts sister

If u can't change your mood/attitude, GET HELP!
No one DESERVES to be unhappy!

Youre right Sherry, being unhappy sucks at times,but I believe its a balance of life somehow



Thank You all for your responses and concerns. The main reason for this post was for not really for me but the countless other folks including the outsiders that have issues w/ depression. Im there with everybody else. I just want people to share with us thiers stories of how they deal with it so that other can read thier solutions and maybe apply it to thier lives to see if it's something that nay help them. My heart aches for all those that expierence this for I know it's not a fun trip.
But for me sometimes internal struggles are necessary for our growth and maturity in life.

Please all of you, if it would help you to rant and post then just do it and we'll be here to help and support you. Because if we can't help each other move along,then who will.

I appreciate all of you my beloved friends.

Thera

[Amy Fakley]

I doubt that I'm the only one, but for me at least, there is a definite correlation between "crazy sh~t" and "I'm feeling depressed".

I honestly can't imagine there is much crazier sh~t to go through than waking up and realizing that there is something fundamentally different about your identity than the one you display to the world ... then doing something about it by crossdressing ... secretly.

Now, this doesn't describe everyone here, but it describes a lot of us, myself included.
For a lot of us, there is a nuclear war of drama raging silently beneath our skin ... and as Ron Burgandy would say "it can escalate quickly". It's really no wonder that as a group we seem to be prone to depression.

How do I deal with it? Not effectively, unfortunately ... but the old "out of sight out of mind" thing seems to work. I just put it all away and try to focus on literally anything else for a while. It takes away some of the urgency ... things that seemed like a 4 alarm crisis a week ago seem less so after some time away. Also music. I definitely escape into music ... and various thoroughly-safe yet-mostly-illegal substances (again, sure I'm not the only one).

[Princess Chantal]

A common issue that we all have at times is feeling down and out, down in the dump depressed feelings.

I can't say that I have gone thru this type of issue when it comes to crossdressing. I have friends that go thru the emotional roller coaster, get over excited just to crash down to depression and rise up to excitement. My emotions is a straight and comfy ride in a '68 Caddy on the flat Manitoban prairies