The other side of the coin

[NicoleKent]

There's been a lot of posts here lately of people not understanding their SO's reactions to their crossdressing

For those of you with female SO's, what would you do if she told you she wanted to crossdress? I know, I know, I know, Women can wear some men's clothes already and be ok, but what if she wanted a mens haircut, or never wear makeup, wear things to give her a more masculine body figure, or a false beard.

What boundaries would you set. Could you be intimate with your SO while she was dressed? Would you be ok with her being dressed all the time? Would you be ok with her coming out?

I'm really curious, because I'm not sure how I'd react, and thinking about it has helped me understand how difficult it is for our SO's to deal with.

[Kimberlyfaye]

I wouldn't mind it at all. My partner has even agreed for us to have a mock wedding in the future. Where she will be the groom and I the bride. Also I would actually enjoy her being my boyfriend for a change. It would be fun.

Not much else to add really.

[CynthiaD]

My wife dresses like Paul Bunyan half the time, with blue jeans, clod-hopper boots and flannel shirts. Even when she dresses up she wears pants and jackets that look drabber than my drabbest drab. If she showed up with a flat-top haircut, fake beard and a three-piece suit, I'd think "well, it's about time."

I not only wouldn't care, I'd buy her the suit.

[Alice B]

Have no problem with it at all. GG's do it all the time as it is.

[Being Paige]

Right on Cynthia, I know where your coming from.

[Jenniferathome]

I have asked and answer the same question. I would find it weird. It would be incomprehensible to me why she would want to do that. I'd never be intimate with her in a crossdressed state. Each of these statements would be used by her to describe my crossdressing.

Sadly, I would not be nearly as accepting as she is of me. THAT is what truly amazes me. She is better than I.

[outhiking]

I guess I crossdress because I love being feminine and with a woman. The male clothes would be OK and a beard and such for some around the house fun, but full-time, nah. But, I don't ask her to participate in my own crossdressing since I know she's not comfortable with it.

[Mythic]

I like girls who don't wear makeup. And I like short hair. Then again I think I have something for really pretty guys too lol. I don't know about the facial hair but hell I might actually enjoy it.

[girlyboy13]

There's been a lot of posts here lately of people not understanding their SO's reactions to their crossdressing

For those of you with female SO's, what would you do if she told you she wanted to crossdress? I know, I know, I know, Women can wear some men's clothes already and be ok, but what if she wanted a mens haircut, or never wear makeup, wear things to give her a more masculine body figure, or a false beard.

What boundaries would you set. Could you be intimate with your SO while she was dressed? Would you be ok with her being dressed all the time? Would you be ok with her coming out?

I'm really curious, because I'm not sure how I'd react, and thinking about it has helped me understand how difficult it is for our SO's to deal with.

I would let my SO do what ever she pleased

[ReineD]

To the members (so far Kimberly, Cynthia, Binini, Alice, Paige, Outhiking, & Girlyboy) who would be OK with their wives presenting as men, I have a question: are you attracted to men?

Just curious.

[Eryn]

Considering everything that my spouse has done for me I would have no problem with her doing whatever she wants to be happy!

Oh, and to answer Reine's question, no I'm not sexually attracted to men, but then again I don't really have sexual feelings while dressed. Debating a what-if on top of another what-if taxes my abilities!.

[Meghan]

I can honestly say I wouldn't give 2 bleeps about that.

From a real-world perspective, my wife and I are both having a lot of fun because of this aspect. She doesn't wear makeup, doesn't like girly things and is a tomboy.

Yet she is loving experiencing the more feminine things such as makeup, perfume, lingerie and such through me! She says :how cool is that, I get to enjoy the process without having to wear any of that. Meanwhile I get to wear all of that fun stuff.

It's the contrast that makes this all so interesting to us.

Meghan

[Tracii G]

IDK thats a great question really.If I were married and she wanted to do that on occasion I wouldn't have a problem with it.
It goes both ways I suppose.

[bridget thronton]

I love my wife she can wear whatever she wants (I am not the boss of her)

[noeleena]

Hi,

To answer this ? is easy on here it would change very differently when it hits home what is takeing place of cause here the ? is directed to men ,
Being a woman is very different i cant answer as a male though i can see where it would effect some very strongly.

Real life is where im at, & my answer is as a woman. i have no interest in men never did & never will.
So what would happen had Jos said to me i wont to be a man or dress as one.

Background , Jos is a 60 year old female / woman who married a intersexed male / female. yet percived me as male,we have 3 grown up adults . Because i know Jos & thats over 37 years, she wont become a male yet to dress as one, i dought it, i know her to well.

Any way for the ? ,

i would accept her note ... HER...reguardless the mind will not change her wish can, as to clothes dont care , because we.v been together so long i would over look the details, this is.... ONLY.... for Jos ,

Jos has accepted myself as a woman so i would have to accept her in her wish.

This would change had i not been intersexed ,

say as a male & my partner female wonted to change to male & had married her as a full female then i would struggle , because of detail in my past & what a male did to us just before my birth,theres a lot in this for me to accept males so id have to say no i cant do it,

To me its like youv put me in with the lions & i have no defence no escape & one other detail is what male clothes represent to me as well.

Im struggling with this, ill get though it,

Male clothes, & what they represent to me is , i totaly ....HATED.... male clothes, hated being around men did not like working under them. so what at close qurters would do is i would move away from the person who would be trying to be close to me ...... this is so hard,.....im being boxed in & i hate it,

okay . no i could not live with a male or a female who was changeing in to a male clothes & all.

gee ?s like this really do hit me very hard, so i hope you understand where im comeing from.

...noeleena...

[PetiteDuality]

Ok, what about having her not shaving her legs and armpits and wearing a prosthetic penis?

What about taking hormones and getting a real beard and mustache?

[ReineD]

Ok, what about having her not shaving her legs and armpits and wearing a prosthetic penis?

What about taking hormones and getting a real beard and mustache?

... and going out in public like that, or being miserable when she (he)'s not himself, or looking forward to her husband leaving on trips so she can be himself, or spending a considerable amount of time at the gym building bulk, or spending countless hours on the computer shopping for the perfect guy stuff and participating in internet sites talking to others like her (him).

[Vickie_CDTV]

I think there is one possible component missing in the question. At the risk of being indelicate, one could also ask... would one be ok with a wife who liked to crossdress if it really turned her on? If it improved their sex life it might be easier for the husband to accept for obvious reasons.

[linda allen]

I love my wife so whatever she wanted to do, I would be OK with it. I might not like it, but love is more important.

[Silentpartner GG SO]

Sorry but I think its very easy to say "yeah I'd be fine with it" when you know there is not a chance in hell its gonna happen - if the boot was really on the other foot I wonder how many people would really be ok with it.

When I found out my sister's guy as a CD'er I was "ok, thats fine, if they are happy" but I was still knocked for six when my OH told he that he was also a CD'er. Generally I am fine with it, but I have times, days when I just dont like it and wish it were not in our lives -

I honestly believe this is one of those issues where, unless it actually happens to you, its all just speculation.

[linda allen]

Sorry but I think its very easy to say "yeah I'd be fine with it" when you know there is not a chance in hell its gonna happen - if the boot was really on the other foot I wonder how many people would really be ok with it.

When I found out my sister's guy as a CD'er I was "ok, thats fine, if they are happy" but I was still knocked for six when my OH told he that he was also a CD'er. Generally I am fine with it, but I have times, days when I just dont like it and wish it were not in our lives -

I honestly believe this is one of those issues where, unless it actually happens to you, its all just speculation.

What's an "OH"?

We marry for better or worse. As a person who crossdresses around the house, I don't see how I could expect my wife not to if it made her happy. Much worse could happen.

[Moxie]

I'm with Silentpartner on this one. No one on this forum, other than the rare openly gay dressers and GG's, likes anything to do with masculinity, body hair or 'drab' clothing. In fact, I'd go so far as to say I've picked up on outright animosity toward these things. So I don't believe anyone here would tolerate a crossdressing wife, oher than perhaps in a fetish situation as someone suggested.

But I do appreciate the coin flip and if more Crossdressers would consider this situation (REALLY consider it as Jenniferathome did) I believe there would be more understanding all around.

DM

[Beverley Sims]

One of my girlfriends dressed as a boy when I was young and took a dominant role.
She had the car, money and looked like an effeminate male.
She took me out to theaters and paid for all the dining and entertainment.
We even had a mock wedding, one of those that I used to organize for sporting clubs.
I could have married that man??????

[EllenJo]

... and going out in public like that, or being miserable when she (he)'s not himself, or looking forward to her husband leaving on trips so she can be himself, or spending a considerable amount of time at the gym building bulk, or spending countless hours on the computer shopping for the perfect guy stuff and participating in internet sites talking to others like her (him).

Reine, as usual you bring great perspective to the discussion. I would not want my wife to be obsessed with something either whether it is cross dressing or anything else. Obsession becomes all consuming and displaces relationships. Balance is the key to everything in life and understanding that most of our spouses did not sign up for this in the beginning is a big part of the problem. I have helped my wife dress as a man for a skit she was doing at work and we had some fun with it for a while but it is not something that I would want to deal with full time.

This is a great thread to add perspective on what we do and what we expect from our SO's.

[Jorja]

... the perfect guy stuff

A can of beer, a red plaid flannel shirt, jeans with holes, and a tin of Skoal. Yea, I want my wife to dress like that.