Just a cd or a Bi?

[Tracii G]

Such a wide spectrum in CDing nothing is too far fetched sometimes.
If you feel attracted to men then so be it.
There have only been a few men I found attractive enough to go out with but would never have asked them or made the first move.
I did meet one guy when I was in drab that I actually though I could have a relationship with.No sex involved that is too dagerous IMO.
I was very confused at that time trying to sort thru my own gender issues and he felt I wasn't gay enough for him.
With some long talks with my inner self I came to the realization I'm not gay just dual gendered I found women very attractive and still do.

[Trishasubcd]

This is a deep topic and one that is near and dear to my heart. Like some of you when dressed I have fantasies about going down on a man, this has been a persistant throughout my life. One day I decided to act on it, when I was 23 (or so, a little foggy), I met a man that I had been talking too for a while but I did not enjoy it at all and was disgusted with myself. Fast forward 10 years (a good 10 years of dressing) and the desires were stronger than ever. At this point I had a close CD friend who I spoke to about it and the next thing you know we setup a date. I enjoyed it this time around and have thought of it often....but for one reason or another (safety) I have not gone down that road for the last 7 years. I am bisexual but not very active and the deisre only comes out when I am dressed up.

[Mistybtm]

I have been A bi crossdresser my whole life and have recently started HRT.

[Frédérique]

So until this point I was happy being just a crossdresser. But for a while now when I am in 'girl' mode I have started fantasizing about guys.. I guess as a part of what I naturally feel as a girl.. I am not sure if I like guys as a guy. I understand that it is a grey area but has anybody gone through such a phase?

[SIZE="2"]Oh, goodee – another “Bi while crossdressed” thread! I think I only fantasize about guys if they crossdress...

There’s no doubt that MtF crossdressing has altered my sexual approach to the world, but perhaps bisexual-ness was always in place, and it created the correct “atmosphere” for my eventual crossdressing. I remember when I was young, and I went through such a phase, but then I went through another phase, and another, and another. These days I look back and think about the paths I took, or the choices I made, and wonder about what might have been. But, it’s too late now. I don’t fantasize about “guys” when I crossdress – I’m too busy avoiding them, or avoiding the guy I am. However, once upon a time…

[/SIZE]

[karusiskaru]

I know your new, but try to refrain from saying "JUST a CD." That kind of language is often used in a pejorative manner by SOME People within The Community. It implies some sort of diminished status, or Put-Down, or it's often used to push The Idea that CD's are not "genuine....like us." It causes divisiveness and sometimes hurt feelings. I know you didn't do it on purpose, but I thought I would let you know, and perhaps remind other new members to do the same.

Peace and Love, Joanie

Oh of course I never meant to be pejorative.. I am a crossdresser and think very highly of us as a group.. but thanks for pointing it out.. It should have been "in addition to being a cd"..

[Mythic]

I've found myself physically attracted to a few guys, usually ones i would describe as pretty. But it's so damn rare of me really.

[Meghan]

I think I am always bi, in the sense that I find men interesting even if sometimes only sexually. It's also possible that by dressing, I am actively seeing their attention. It's so hard to know.

Generally, I am way more interested in knowing what a girl thinks about how I look, but I don't necessarily feel like I am dressing to attract other women in any sort of sexual way.

However, I find men who "dress" very attractive, on average, way more so than any "regular" guy. I have always been drawn toward contrast.

Meghan

[ArleneRaquel]

Meghan,
Outstanding contribution to the thread hon.

[Tara D. Rose]

yes Meghan, that is a very insightful way to put it. ...kudos GF,

[cd_brooke29]

I guess I'm just Bi...I really do enjoy both. What's weird though is that I don't look at guys and think, "Damn, he's hot". I do think that way about most every pretty girl I see on the street though. And I find far fewer men than women physically attractive.

I think for me the attraction to guys comes from the same part of me that wants to CD. It's basically another way to be like a GG. I do get turned on by the fact that I'm experiencing sex the same way a GG does. I guess it goes without saying then that I prefer the submissive role when with another guy. But even though I think my bi-ness and cding are related, I don't need to be dressed to enjoy the touch of another man.

[MuzzledJ]

I have to say that this thread has helped me to understand a little more about myself. I can relate to some of whats been said. It is bizarre to think that dressing can change your sexual feelings but i think for me it just enhances whats already there deep down, Im still trying to understand. I will never look at a man down the street, im always checking out the ladies.

[EllenJo]

I am always 100% straight except when I'm not. Truthfully, I was never attracted to men until my late 40's and then only on a rare occasion. However those occasions were very satisfying and I was the submissive in those situations. I have often wondered if age has something to do with it, lower testosterone, at least in my case. After I met my current wife I did not feel the same attraction to men again but do sometimes fantasize when dressed. Now touching 60, I focus more on my dressing than on sex. I would like to hear from older CD's on this subject.

[Ressie]

I've taken crossdressing to another level during the last few years and have fantasized about men more during that time. But I think the whole latent thought goes way back to adolescence or maybe even childhood. As much as I love women, there's something about being attractive to men that is exciting. Have to wonder sometimes if I were a female in a previous life, or if the whole thing is more connected to having the influence of an older sister. Am I rambling?

[Michaela51]

My bisexuality emerged about ten years ago, my desire to dress shortly thereafter, I am currently 61. My theory of 'why now" states that during earlier years of marriage and children there arises an imperative supported by our larger culture that makes it very easy to fall into a typical male role as provider and man in a hetero marriage/relationship, especially if you've come from a family with a Hispanic father, where having a little boy who is a "sissy" is a major personal and cultural affront,. There may have been signs along the way which pointed to another proclivities, but the need for me to fulfill my duties as a husband and father minimized those signs. Time marches on and the kids grow, family dynamics change so that the need for that traditional male becomes less important within the family structure. Also, as we age as men our testosterone levels begin to drop off, for me probably around 50, changing the ratio between that androgen and progesterone and estrogen; therefore, having an impact on how we view our priorities, desires, emotions, and behavior in general. This combined shift of familial and hormonal values allows for those parts of us which had previously been repressed or masked in some way to rise to the surface. And voila!...these nylon panties sure feel good against my skin, or fantasies and dreams arise that include men in a sexual context. That is the explanation that I have pieced together after having seen so many men opening up to bisexuality or gender shifts later in their lives.

[StarrOfDelite]

My bisexuality emerged about ten years ago, my desire to dress shortly thereafter, I am currently 61. My theory of 'why now" states that during earlier years of marriage and children there arises an imperative supported by our larger culture that makes it very easy to fall into a typical male role as provider and man in a hetero marriage/relationship, especially if you've come from a family with a Hispanic father, where having a little boy who is a "sissy" is a major personal and cultural affront,. There may have been signs along the way which pointed to another proclivities, but the need for me to fulfill my duties as a husband and father minimized those signs. Time marches on and the kids grow, family dynamics change so that the need for that traditional male becomes less important within the family structure. Also, as we age as men our testosterone levels begin to drop off, for me probably around 50, changing the ratio between that androgen and progesterone and estrogen; therefore, having an impact on how we view our priorities, desires, emotions, and behavior in general. This combined shift of familial and hormonal values allows for those parts of us which had previously been repressed or masked in some way to rise to the surface. And voila!...these nylon panties sure feel good against my skin, or fantasies and dreams arise that include men in a sexual context. That is the explanation that I have pieced together after having seen so many men opening up to bisexuality or gender shifts later in their lives.

Thanks for an insightful analysis. I would add that the internet has had a huge impact on individuals who always sensed that they were different, but due to cultural, familial, and economic pressures, never had a chance to analyze those feelings, let alone act on them. Because of G-Rated forums like this, G and R-Rated photo galleries of real-life crossdressers, and even the pornography industry, it has become far easier for transgendered males to arrive at clarity and self-realization about both their need to cross dress, and their sexual orientation.

[Thera Home]

My bisexuality emerged about ten years ago, my desire to dress shortly thereafter, I am currently 61. My theory of 'why now" states that during earlier years of marriage and children there arises an imperative supported by our larger culture that makes it very easy to fall into a typical male role as provider and man in a hetero marriage/relationship, especially if you've come from a family with a Hispanic father, where having a little boy who is a "sissy" is a major personal and cultural affront

.......................

Thanks for an insightful analysis. I would add that the internet has had a huge impact on individuals who always sensed that they were different, but due to cultural, familial, and economic pressures, never had a chance to analyze those feelings, let alone act on them.

.......................


I wonder that it's times like these is when our moral values kick in and guide us through the mud.
I know,I know..................there's that freak Thera again on her soapbox







Thera

[Meghan]

Time marches on and the kids grow, family dynamics change so that the need for that traditional male becomes less important within the family structure. Also, as we age as men our testosterone levels begin to drop off, for me probably around 50, changing the ratio between that androgen and progesterone and estrogen; therefore, having an impact on how we view our priorities, desires, emotions, and behavior in general. This combined shift of familial and hormonal values allows for those parts of us which had previously been repressed or masked in some way to rise to the surface. And voila!...these nylon panties sure feel good against my skin, or fantasies and dreams arise that include men in a sexual context. That is the explanation that I have pieced together after having seen so many men opening up to bisexuality or gender shifts later in their lives.

Very interesting observations, especially regarding the shift in hormone balance and the diminishing need for a strong traditional male role in the core family.

One of my kids is an adult and the other is getting close, so the "need" for me to be a strong paternal presence is diminishing. I started young (my first son was born when I was 22) so perhaps that is running its course a little faster for me.

Thank you for that perspective, I had not previously thought about it that way

Meghan

[Badtranny]

.I wonder that it's times like these is when our moral values kick in and guide us through the mud.
I know,I know..................there's that freak Thera again on her soapbox

Okay I can't help it, I have to ask.

What do "morals" have to do with sexual orientation? I don't lie, cheat, steal, drink too much, do drugs, or any number of things that would be considered "immoral" choices but I've always been queer as a bumblebee and now I'm a fully fledged transsexual. Am I immoral as well?

[flatlander_48]

I knew I was bisexual long before I thought about crossdressing. I probably would view it as a pleasant coincidence. However, I have not been intimate with a man since I crossdressed; only before.

[Thera Home]

Okay I can't help it, I have to ask.

What do "morals" have to do with sexual orientation? I don't lie, cheat, steal, drink too much, do drugs, or any number of things that would be considered "immoral" choices but I've always been queer as a bumblebee and now I'm a fully fledged transsexual. Am I immoral as well?

You tell me, are you? I didn't create you so I don't have the right to answer that or judge you. To me youre a person that deserves respect and honor just like me and everyone else here.

Question is........Do we give ourselves the same respect and honor we demand from others?

Thera

[Lacey England]

Started doing this myself, only in the past year or so. After 30 years of CDing.

[MissTee]

When I'm not dressed, I look at my wife and think she's hot. When I'm dressed, I look at my wife and think she's r-e-a-l-l-y hot. No doubt I'm a lesbian when dressed.

[cathie pantyhose]

Short answer is yes...both. I am bisexual who just happens to be a cd. I love my wife and our sex life but I also love the being with a man. Dressed as a man or dressed as a woman. Sex is just great.

[OKPink]

Either-Or? Sometimes it is hard to fit in a box. I am not really attracted to men, I find them a bit scary, but I do like sex with men who I feel safe with. I am married to a woman. I have had sex with a few men, and a few TS. I like being dressed no matter who I am having sex with, and perhaps feel most comfortable with other crossdressers or TS. That being said, I love a GG too. So maybe I like my cake and want to eat it too. Does that make me bi? Gay? A man who has sex with men? I'm not really worried about the label, as long as I am enjoying it, they are enjoying it and all are over 21, sober and consenting.

[Lucy Long Legs]

I have always been straight and never considered I was anything else. Recently while dressed I had an encounter with a guy which was enjoyable but mainly because he was very masculine and well built while I am the reverse. We both enjoyed comparing the contrasting nature of our genders: he was in t shirt and jeans while I had a pretty dress and heels. He had muscley arms and a bull neck while I am slender and delicate. The difference down below was even more remarkable and I gained a certain frisson from this. But it was a curiosity rather than a change of sexuality - I have no great wish to repeat this experience and am much happier with women.