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Thread: Doing it right, making a commitment.

  1. #1
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    Doing it right, making a commitment.

    Yesterday I helped one of my kids prepare for a party I was invited to but couldn't attend because I was meeting friends for a drink but had to leave early to go to a game I already had tickets to see but left during the 3rd quarter so I could see my Tri-Ess group before they broke up the meeting giving me time enough to get home and help care for my wife who wasn't feeling well.

    My life is like that, a lot, and it seems that there aren't many times I can fully devote myself to anything without the possibility of being interrupted by another obligation. So it was a nice revelation that when I dress en femme, I really like to do it fully and for an extended period. With proper planning it is one of those things that I can fall into 100%. My wife understands that I need these opportunities occasionally but I don't think either one of us recognized this aspect of it. The value of time spent on a manicure, the use of adhesives and a spray of perfume all contribute to that sense of full involvement that is missing much of the rest of the time in my life.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

  2. #2
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    Life just seems to often get in the way of internal plans we may have. All you can do is just adjust as need be. If your wife is supportative and you can affoard it, you might want to consider going to DLV in Las Vegas next April. You can then be dressed 7/24 for a few days amoung others like you. No restrictions and no expectations. Just fun.

  3. #3
    Jennifer Wallace
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    Sarah, I agree. I won't even bother anymore to have a quickie dressing session. I need to be completely in girl mode, or not at all. Which unfortunately means much less quanity, but much more quality.
    Jenn

  4. #4
    Lingerie Lover RachelDenise's Avatar
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    Life always seems to interrupt my dressing plans and girlie time. i don't know who is looking out over me, but they are watchfully waiting for me to enjoy myself and then.....BAM! No time for Rachel. It will happen more frequently soon enough.
    Rachel Denise

    [SIZE="2"]“One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. ‘Which road do I take?’ she asked. His response was a question: “Where do you want to go?’ ‘I don’t know,’ answered Alice. ‘Then,’ said the cat, ‘it doesn’t matter.' "
    - Lewis Carroll
    [/SIZE]

  5. #5
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    There's worse things than keeping busy with those u love and care for, Sarah. U could be like me; single with increasing spare time on my hands. And, u KNOW what they say about idle hands?

    In my case, Sherry thinks that means more time for/with her. I'm currently suffered thru an overwhelming attack of CDitus! Like it or not, it's been consuming my waking consciousness. Maybe I'll get a break when her favorite holiday ends on Oct. 31!?
    Last edited by docrobbysherry; 10-13-2012 at 05:21 PM.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  6. #6
    I'm just me Senneca's Avatar
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    I don't know who said it, but....."Life is what happens when you are busy making plans."
    Life's a dance you learn as you go
    Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow
    Don't worry 'bout what you don't know
    Life's a dance you learn as you go

  7. #7
    Bouncy and Spunky discreet_mga's Avatar
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    For me, Charlotte's life only happens when a plan suddenly comes together.
    Delicate smiles and passionate kisses.

  8. #8
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    It's totally up to each and every ones of us how we look at the CDing but having a positive outlook and attitude definitely go a long way towards fulfilling whatever our ultimate goal may be.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  9. #9
    Julie Gaum Julie Gaum's Avatar
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    Alice, Where and what is "DVL" in Las Vegas? I and others might want to go..
    Thanks and Hugs
    Julie

  10. #10
    Silver Member Angela Campbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Senneca View Post
    I don't know who said it, but....."Life is what happens when you are busy making plans."
    That would be John Lennon....song ...Beautiful boy

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member
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    When I'm home my family is first. I'm a closet case (in more ways than CDing), but I love my family and don't want to hurt them. I think my kids would get through it ok, but not my wife. So, I bide my time and take advantage of those times when I can have some time with my feminine self.

  12. #12
    Gender Explorer Meghan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah Charles View Post
    My life is like that, a lot, and it seems that there aren't many times I can fully devote myself to anything without the possibility of being interrupted by another obligation. So it was a nice revelation that when I dress en femme, I really like to do it fully and for an extended period. With proper planning it is one of those things that I can fall into 100%. My wife understands that I need these opportunities occasionally but I don't think either one of us recognized this aspect of it. The value of time spent on a manicure, the use of adhesives and a spray of perfume all contribute to that sense of full involvement that is missing much of the rest of the time in my life.
    I understand Sarah. Back when I was closeted, I only got a couple of chances a year when I knew I had more than a 12 hour window. For example, although I know it's horribly bad for my complexion, I wanted the option to fall asleep with my makeup on. I never did that, but I didn't want the pressure that I had to take it off before I could relax and think about bed. Otherwise I couldn't let go and just be long enough to make it worth it.

    Our schedule has been crushingly busy, but ultimately if I don't get quality Meghan time, I'll end up making myself sick and miss work and commitments anyway and not get the time I need.

    The schedule always gets easier at some point, keep that in mind too, it won't always be like this.

    Meghan
    "No matter how far you've gone down a wrong road, turn back."

    ~Turkish Proverb

  13. #13
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    That saying was around way before John used it in a song.
    Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.

  14. #14
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    One important thing here, try and not let life get in the way of helping the children grow up.
    It does come back to bite you, and hard sometimes.
    This answer has absolutely nothing to do with cross dressing.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  15. #15
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    I've gone from being willing to dress partially for 20 minutes to not bothering unless I can make the committment and stay with it until I've done everything I can to make the experience a full immersion in what I believe is my feminine aspect. One of these days I'll find a balance where it's all good, regardless of the level I've taken it to. I don't regret any of this, but find it interesting that it's all over the map of experience and can't figure out what drives it from one extreme to the other.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alice B View Post
    Life just seems to often get in the way of internal plans we may have. All you can do is just adjust as need be. If your wife is supportative and you can affoard it, you might want to consider going to DLV in Las Vegas next April. You can then be dressed 7/24 for a few days amoung others like you. No restrictions and no expectations. Just fun.
    Alice, I've been a regular at Diva Las Vegas for many years and you are right on with that suggestion. During that week, you get as much time CDing as you could ask for.

    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    There's worse things than keeping busy with those u love and care for, Sarah. U could be like me; single with increasing spare time on my hands. And, u KNOW what they say about idle hands?

    In my case, Sherry thinks that means more time for/with her. I'm currently suffered thru an overwhelming attack of CDitus! Like it or not, it's been consuming my waking consciousness. Maybe I'll get a break when her favorite holiday ends on Oct. 31!?
    Sherry, but your idle hands are so damn creative. And yes, making sure my bride is comfortable and resting up for her next adventure is very satisfying. Occasionally I get to be Nurse Sarah, so it's not all bad, except nurses have short nails and can't accessorize much.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kate Simmons View Post
    It's totally up to each and every ones of us how we look at the CDing but having a positive outlook and attitude definitely go a long way towards fulfilling whatever our ultimate goal may be.
    Kate, being flexible in our outlook will help us survive. I don't know anyone who gets everything they want all the time. I do know people who don't know how to deal with that situation and feel like the world is against them. I'm happy to muddle through and the good times are that much more special.

    Quote Originally Posted by Julie Gaum View Post
    Alice, Where and what is "DVL" in Las Vegas? I and others might want to go..
    Thanks and Hugs
    Julie
    Julie, DLV is "Diva Las Vegas" and there are a couple of threads on the site that discuss it in detail. There are several members of this forum who are regulars there. In short it's "A vacation, not a convention" that is organized by volunteer participants, has no central hotel, educational meetings or registration fees. Most of the activites are mainstream Las Vegas vacation types of events and the menu is a la carte. Send me a note if you can't find the threads using the CD.Com search engine.

    Quote Originally Posted by ChelseaErtel View Post
    When I'm home my family is first. I'm a closet case (in more ways than CDing), but I love my family and don't want to hurt them. I think my kids would get through it ok, but not my wife. So, I bide my time and take advantage of those times when I can have some time with my feminine self.
    Chelsea, patience is a virtue and family deserves your attention. I've allowed the pink fog to mess with me a few times and that always turned out poorly.

    Quote Originally Posted by Meghan M View Post
    I understand Sarah. Back when I was closeted, I only got a couple of chances a year when I knew I had more than a 12 hour window. For example, although I know it's horribly bad for my complexion, I wanted the option to fall asleep with my makeup on. I never did that, but I didn't want the pressure that I had to take it off before I could relax and think about bed. Otherwise I couldn't let go and just be long enough to make it worth it.

    Our schedule has been crushingly busy, but ultimately if I don't get quality Meghan time, I'll end up making myself sick and miss work and commitments anyway and not get the time I need.

    The schedule always gets easier at some point, keep that in mind too, it won't always be like this.

    Meghan
    Meghan, I follow the ancient philosophy, written in stone (or by the Stones), "You can't always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes you get what you need." It works for me, but then it's easier to accept now that I'm older, I've accepted this and my bride is on board with my crossdressing. And as much as you want, don't wear your makeup to bed. It's not good for your pillow, nor is it good for your skin.

    Quote Originally Posted by Beverley Sims View Post
    One important thing here, try and not let life get in the way of helping the children grow up.
    It does come back to bite you, and hard sometimes.
    This answer has absolutely nothing to do with cross dressing.
    Beverly, actually it has everything to do with cross dressing. Unless we believe we are more than a crossdresser or not a member of your family or community, there are other things much more important than getting our girl on. Even then, the kids need all the love, support, guidance and protection we can offer.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

  16. #16
    Platinum Member
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    Life demands felxibility, but sometimes, you just need to plan ahead and allow yourself a nice long stretch of personal time. that may mean passing on a game and a night with friends.

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